The Time I Nearly Made It at Flag As An Out of Org Trainee

onthepes

Patron with Honors
I think it is satanic. What goes on in Scientology these days is unbelievably evil. It probably always has been, but it is really coming to fruition in the last few years. The foul nasty bits that I at one time thought were exceptions....just some individual asshole with a heap of MUs....has become SOP.

Yes as you said "it probably always has been". I wish that was not true, but the more I read I have been asking myself this question "what is worse: LRH then; COB now?". Obviously there are sites anti-COB and others anti-LRH and anti-COB. The whole thing is a bit of a shambles.

Thank-you for the story, onthepes. Every little bit contributes to the whole truth, the big picture.

Thank you Kookaburra (kookaburras rock, I see them all the time on my walks). Yes everything does contribute. I appreciate you acknowledging my story. I hope that somebody considering being an OOT may read it one day (highly unlikely but I like to dream)
 

onthepes

Patron with Honors
Whoops. I said "Yes as you said "it probably always has been". I wish that was not true, but the more I read I have been asking myself this question "what is worse: LRH then; COB now?". Obviously there are sites anti-COB and others anti-LRH and anti-COB. The whole thing is a bit of a shambles."
Not Kookaburra. I need to brush up on cut and paste
 

Sindy

Crusader
Whoops. I said "Yes as you said "it probably always has been". I wish that was not true, but the more I read I have been asking myself this question "what is worse: LRH then; COB now?". Obviously there are sites anti-COB and others anti-LRH and anti-COB. The whole thing is a bit of a shambles."
Not Kookaburra. I need to brush up on cut and paste

Choose the "Reply with Quote" option and then you can mess with the text in between the [ QUOTE ][ /QUOTE ] :)
 

LA SCN

NOT drinking the kool-aid
I thought I would tell my story.
...
One day we may catch up but it won't be in the Org I can assure you.
...
Hardly anyone knew I was a Scientologist. Now I know why. Something within me was embarrassed about it. I knew Scientology had a bad name. Shit, I did not realise how bad until I came here, amongst many other sites.
...
Now I had been told it was the friendliest place on the planet (cough cough). I went there with high hopes and a strong determinism. And then.......

onthepes - I've just read your story and the entire thread. :omg:

Thank you for posting it!! :thumbsup::yes:

The truth of your story and others' needs to be 'BPI' and ESMB is a great place to start. :biggrin:

Your statement bolded above struck home with me and you put it the best way I've seen it - 'something within me was embarrassed about it'. I felt that to greater or lesser degree throughout my 33 year involvement with the CULT. It was finally listening to that part of myself, my built-in truth detector, that got me the hell out of there after wasting what should have been the most productive years of my life in it.

The horror stories about the callous, sick, twisted, perverted, demented, sadistic, demonic behavior from the lost souls manning up Flag are legion.

May the light of day from stories like yours help bring the world at large to FULL understanding of how urgently this cancerous cult needs to be eradicated.

Well done and best wishes to you for seeing the truth of it and getting the hell out of there.
 

onthepes

Patron with Honors
onthepes - I've just read your story and the entire thread. :omg:

Thank you for posting it!! :thumbsup::yes:


Your statement bolded above struck home with me and you put it the best way I've seen it - 'something within me was embarrassed about it'. I felt that to greater or lesser degree throughout my 33 year involvement with the CULT. It was finally listening to that part of myself, my built-in truth detector, that got me the hell out of there after wasting what should have been the most productive years of my life in it.
Well done and best wishes to you for seeing the truth of it and getting the hell out of there.

Wow LA SCN. Thank you so very much. I shed a couple of tears reading your response. I wish I could just offload and cry into a bucket. God, there is nobody here to witness that, so why not. It will probably happen somewhere crazy, like Subway. That built-in truth detector of yours, of mine , of others: if that was all we took notice of, our lives would be taken care of to a large degree. 33 years. I salute you. You probably have heard this before, but I firmly believe that you were trying to help people for those 33 years, regardless of the latter detection of lies. When we are in the middle of something, we so much want it to be real. I wanted the Bridge. I wanted to come out the other side a free man. I firmly believed that was achievable. So did many others. I can only wonder what you got from your 33 years - and I would need to read your post - but I hope it was something tangible. I continue to search. I trust that knowing-ness that we have as much as possible. I hear you that there were times when yours was going off with alarm bells. I just wanted to love people more. Scientology was not the way to do that. I still believe that there is a way. I just have to keep looking. Much Love Greg
 

guRl

Patron with Honors
*After reading entire thread*
Oh god.. so many red flags in Flag, eh?
It is indeed Scientology's mecca.

onthepes, I choked up reading your story. I was never a scio myself, but I know what it's like to get treated this way when you come with nothing but good intentions.
I hope you're back on meditating- now there's a great practice :wink2:
 

Neptune14

Patron
Your statement bolded above struck home with me and you put it the best way I've seen it - 'something within me was embarrassed about it'. I felt that to greater or lesser degree throughout my 33 year involvement with the CULT.

I've been married for 14 years and have told my husband about things about my life that I would never want to share with anyone else......except that I was a Scientologist. I can't bring myself to tell him. If I think about it rationally, I'm sure his response would be one of mild curiosity and not much more but I still hold onto so much embarrassment over it. I just don't even want to have the conversation. :blush:
 

onthepes

Patron with Honors
*After reading entire thread*
Oh god.. so many red flags in Flag, eh?
It is indeed Scientology's mecca.

onthepes, I choked up reading your story. I was never a scio myself, but I know what it's like to get treated this way when you come with nothing but good intentions.
I hope you're back on meditating- now there's a great practice :wink2:


Thanks Heaps Guri. I appreciate that you choked up. I did the same writing it. I still see their faces. It's fine that you were not a Scientologist. Any rational human being can relate to Human Rights violations. I am happy that it meant something to you.

Yes I am back to meditating. You were not a Scio (good for you I say). There was a policy. LRH wrote this policy. It was called "Safeguarding the Tech". LRH wrote and felt (with shitty intentions I firmly believe) that he had the only technology to lead people to freedom. HAccording to LRH Scientology is the only technology.

The sheer arrogance of that is mind-boggling. In the same breath he wrote the "Creed of a Scientologist" which states 'That all men have inalienable rights to their own religious practices and their performance'. They certainly do . This was written by LRH in 1954. However clearly "Safeguarding Technology" refutes that. Here is the link http://www.suppressiveperson.org/sp/archives/1239

It is the utter garbage read to me at Flag because I mentioned I meditated. Who would write such a thing. Buddha never said that about Buddhism. I doubt that Christ said that about Christianity. He probably did not even know about Christianity at the time.

So, yes, thank you, I love meditating and thanks for posting


 

onthepes

Patron with Honors
I've been married for 14 years and have told my husband about things about my life that I would never want to share with anyone else......except that I was a Scientologist. I can't bring myself to tell him. If I think about it rationally, I'm sure his response would be one of mild curiosity and not much more but I still hold onto so much embarrassment over it. I just don't even want to have the conversation. :blush:

Thank you for sharing Neptune. I know what you mean. I so want to tell others but feel this is the only place for me right now. I feel I cannot tell my boys about what happened at Flag because it may upset them. You know, that may not be such a bad thing. I reject a lot of what LRH said but quite liked a lot of the "Ups and Downs in Life" Life Improvement Course. He talked about the Social Personality (for the record I believe LRH was anti-social and I know that is a bold statement). But a "social personality" is reluctant to pass on bad news. I don't feel the need to inform my boys of the bad shit that happened in Scientology. All I really need to let them know is "I'm here"
 

Daisy

Patron with Honors
Just a lot of pain here. How the cult can chew people up and spit them out.

Good thing this board is here.

Neptune14, I understand. My husband was also in this cult but there are other relatives, friends that do not know. In time, when you are ready to share.

Onthepes, I hope you don't mind if I share one flag story.

Was finally going to flag! Was going to start my OT preps (yeah, that's another story). I was so excited getting in that van. The driver was pretty nice. He showed me a map of the area so I could "locate myself". I thought at the time, that is so cool. Arrived in the lobby, receptionist was not very warm. I immediately thought it must be me and everyone could tell I had a lot of case. As I started my routing form , I was taken aback by some so members. They didn't seem so happy. Must be me again. When I got to the IAS dept, I was hit up for membership. I don't think I had my yearly set up for that year but was told by my fsm that there would be no problem. We had barely scraped up the money to get to flag, now I needed to fork out more.

I started crying. I was so close to getting my OT preps but now I had encountered a roadblock. I got on the phone to my husband and he tales to the IAS rep. He asked he what the reference was on having to have a membership and she gave him some bs policy that really didn't answer the question. He gave in because he knew I wanted this. I was sitting there crying and one of the IAS staff said "oh look, she's crying".

Welcome to flag, not the happiest place in the world.
 

Veda

Sponsor
Part 2:

So I got to "friendliest place on the planet" (more coughing). I had not slept for 2 days. I was shattered. I waited at the airport in America for 2 hours. The van arrived from Flag. The guy got my stuff and another OOT's gear and threw it into the back. I felt sick and awkward. I sat next to a guy who was from another Org in America. He was early 20s. I tried to make small talk. He had that look of "there is nothing as important as Scientology and I don't want to talk about anything else". Again, more awkwardness.

We got to the hotel . The guy who dropped us off was Q&Aing with a Sea Org guy there. The discussion was about whether we were meant to stay there. (Jesus Christ). By the way - there must be something still on this for me as it is difficult for me to write it. However, I will plow on.

So he comes back to me and the other fellow and says "you can stay here". He left in his van. This really gruff, don't fuck with me Latin American with a moustache out of the old West said "Come with me". He looked really angry. Then I made a grave error in judgement. I said "Thanks mate". He looked right through me and said "I am not 'MATE'. I am not your 'MATE'". I started to feel that I made a wrong decision.

I barely slept. It was 2.30am. I had a day in bed. I went to Flag in the afternoon. I did an orientation. I then waited at the MAA for an interview. I was told to "come back tomorrow". One guy - another latin looking fellow - came up to me and said "What are you doing?" as I sat at the MAAs. I told him. He said I should be productive. To this day I still feel a little guilty about not being productive.

I finally got into the MAAs office the following day. First I was grilled about my history of meditation. I told them I had done that "ONCE" in 3 years. That was the utter truth. I was told on my first day in the Org that I had to "knock that off",so I did. One time, I felt low and so I did it.

Then another guy came and grilled me. I had 3 Ethics Officers grill me about the same thing. I actually ended in tears. They would not stop asking me: "How many times have you done it?" "Do you still want to do it?" "Have you thought about it?". Then it would be silent....and then...."about this meditation". Now, I wonder how accurate the e-meter is. If I had honestly meditated once in a year, why was I being hammered about it. Next question: "Did you tell a lie?". I said "No, of course not."
again - "Did you tell a lie!!" This went on. I was jet lagged and a mess. On to the next day

:goodposting:


asocialcontrolscientology1.gif
 
It IS the happiest place in the world - experiences like you had make you happy you're no longer there. I did have my fights with reges/ IAS guys, but on the whole, I liked the staff and made "friends" with them. I think they are dedicated, wonderful, good hearted people by and large, but they are deluded, perhaps more than I was. They are delivering a flawed technology, and they have bought into an abusive mentality / meme and, sadly bow to the peer pressure to be that way.

I hope many of them, like Barbra Nelson, find the courage to walk out the door and never return. Actually, they all should leave, but hey, Rome wasn't burned to the ground in a day.

Mimsey
 

LA SCN

NOT drinking the kool-aid
Wow LA SCN. Thank you so very much. I shed a couple of tears reading your response. I wish I could just offload and cry into a bucket. God, there is nobody here to witness that, so why not. It will probably happen somewhere crazy, like Subway. That built-in truth detector of yours, of mine , of others: if that was all we took notice of, our lives would be taken care of to a large degree. 33 years. I salute you. You probably have heard this before, but I firmly believe that you were trying to help people for those 33 years, regardless of the latter detection of lies. When we are in the middle of something, we so much want it to be real. I wanted the Bridge. I wanted to come out the other side a free man. I firmly believed that was achievable. So did many others. I can only wonder what you got from your 33 years - and I would need to read your post - but I hope it was something tangible. I continue to search. I trust that knowing-ness that we have as much as possible. I hear you that there were times when yours was going off with alarm bells. I just wanted to love people more. Scientology was not the way to do that. I still believe that there is a way. I just have to keep looking. Much Love Greg

There are many more compelling stories than mine. During my time I was public some, staff a couple of times and for short periods inactive. Read the books by Nancy Many and Jeff Hawkins. On ESMB I recommend you read the accounts of Feral and his wife, the experiences of OHTEEATE. Comparing my lot to the strife wrought on these folks by the Cof$, well, they really had it rough.

You nailed it on the motivations on many a former scilon, the desire to improve ones' self and to help others improve themselves. That is what makes hubbard such a bastard - he takes advantage of that to make someone into his slave and extend his rule through the mind and actions of that person who is then nothing more than the Borg of Star Trek. That is what you saw at Flag - that phenomena taken to completion.

But the world is full of great people, waiting to be met. As an auditor I absolutely marveled at the lives and experiences of those I took in session.

Something I picked up from being an auditor - the people I met who could and would experience their emotions as they came and didn't suppress them, were some of the the cleanest, happiest people I knew.

I also picked up this - its easy to help people really, just listen to them with interest and thank them for sharing with you whatever it was. Help a youngster learn how to do something. Help an older person who can't do things he used to do. You don't have to be a member of any group but humanity.

This board is filled with folks like this.
 

onthepes

Patron with Honors
It IS the happiest place in the world - experiences like you had make you happy you're no longer there. I did have my fights with reges/ IAS guys, but on the whole, I liked the staff and made "friends" with them. I think they are dedicated, wonderful, good hearted people by and large, but they are deluded, perhaps more than I was. They are delivering a flawed technology, and they have bought into an abusive mentality / meme and, sadly bow to the peer pressure to be that way.

I hope some of them like Barbra Nelson, find the courage to walk out the door and never return.

Mimsey

That was awesome. Thanks heaps
 

onthepes

Patron with Honors
T
But the world is full of great people, waiting to be met. As an auditor I absolutely marveled at the lives and experiences of those I took in session.


I also picked up this - its easy to help people really, just listen to them with interest and thank them for sharing with you whatever it was. Help a youngster learn how to do something. Help an older person who can't do things he used to do. You don't have to be a member of any group but humanity.

This board is filled with folks like this.

Great stuff. You know, that is exactly what I am beginning to understand now. I now have a grand-daughter who is not even 1 yet but I believe I can help in some way. As for the older person, yes, my mum needs help with all manner of things she used to be able to do. Another big thing I get is to let her be a mum. Let her help. Without that she is no longer a mum. She needs to do that. Thanks for the reminder
 
You nailed it on the motivations on many a former scilon, the desire to improve ones' self and to help others improve themselves. That is what makes hubbard such a bastard - he takes advantage of that to make someone into his slave and extend his rule through the mind and actions of that person who is then nothing more than the Borg of Star Trek. That is what you saw at Flag - that phenomena taken to completion.

Wow. What an apt discription of the SO / Scio mentality. Thanks Mimsey

The Borg are a collection of species that have turned into cybernetic organisms functioning as drones of the collective the hive, pseudo-race, dwelling in the Star Trek universe. The Borg take other species by force into the collective and connect them to "the hive mind"; the act is called assimilation and entails violence, abductions, and injections of cybernetic implants. The Borg's ultimate goal is "achieving perfection".

Aside from being the main threat in Star Trek: First Contact, the Borg play major roles in The Next Generation and Voyager television series, primarily as an invasion threat to the United Federation of Planets, and serve as the way home to the Alpha Quadrant for isolated Federation starship Voyager. The Borg have become a symbol in popular culture for any juggernaut against which "resistance is futile".
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Borg_(Star_Trek)
 
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