42yearsin&pissed
Patron
way to go, aaron
hi, aaron,
thank you for an excellent post.
i was in scientology for 42 years as "public," on mid-OT7 when the shit hit the fan for me and our family (more about that at another time).
anyway, when the house of cards began to fall for me, i had the following moment: upstairs in my bedroom is this rather massive, sturdy bookcase. it wraps around a bit on the walls. hubby made it for our scientology library. it contains all the usual, most of which is unread, unlistened-to. i recall looking at all those books, lectures, tech volumes, etc., and wondering: HOW COULD ALL OF THIS BE FAKE? why, the sheer volume of material was astounding and surely meant truth therein. NOT!
and then i had a second idea: scientology is so TEDIOUS!
i recall countless hours arguing about tech in the '70s and '80s while on course, when we could still do so (considered verbal tech by modern-day standards); fighting with supes over definitions of words that were applicable to me but not to them; many, many hours receiving auditing, trying to locate another incident earlier on the chain, when there really weren't any, but the needle wasn't "floating" because the whole thing was just so wrong, etc.
TEDIOUS! and it still is. this is probably not very relevant to this chain, but overall, perhaps it is.
we just gotta get on with things and stop paying attention to the small stuff.
somehow i didn't need scientology anymore. count yourselves lucky and much richer if you never made it up the bridge. and those of you who did, best wishes for a marvelous life that YOU create and one in which you find out truly what is your interest and area of activity. could be quite an interesting adventure.
and someday such thoughts as "What would LRH do" - lol - we sure know now since we read thousands of pages of lies - and "What policy deals with such and such" will fade out of existence.
we all probably hate the self-delusion we were under. oh, well. too bad. onward.
thanks again for a swell post, aaron.
42
hi, aaron,
thank you for an excellent post.
i was in scientology for 42 years as "public," on mid-OT7 when the shit hit the fan for me and our family (more about that at another time).
anyway, when the house of cards began to fall for me, i had the following moment: upstairs in my bedroom is this rather massive, sturdy bookcase. it wraps around a bit on the walls. hubby made it for our scientology library. it contains all the usual, most of which is unread, unlistened-to. i recall looking at all those books, lectures, tech volumes, etc., and wondering: HOW COULD ALL OF THIS BE FAKE? why, the sheer volume of material was astounding and surely meant truth therein. NOT!
and then i had a second idea: scientology is so TEDIOUS!
i recall countless hours arguing about tech in the '70s and '80s while on course, when we could still do so (considered verbal tech by modern-day standards); fighting with supes over definitions of words that were applicable to me but not to them; many, many hours receiving auditing, trying to locate another incident earlier on the chain, when there really weren't any, but the needle wasn't "floating" because the whole thing was just so wrong, etc.
TEDIOUS! and it still is. this is probably not very relevant to this chain, but overall, perhaps it is.
we just gotta get on with things and stop paying attention to the small stuff.
somehow i didn't need scientology anymore. count yourselves lucky and much richer if you never made it up the bridge. and those of you who did, best wishes for a marvelous life that YOU create and one in which you find out truly what is your interest and area of activity. could be quite an interesting adventure.
and someday such thoughts as "What would LRH do" - lol - we sure know now since we read thousands of pages of lies - and "What policy deals with such and such" will fade out of existence.
we all probably hate the self-delusion we were under. oh, well. too bad. onward.
thanks again for a swell post, aaron.
42