I personally know of two families where children were involved that were torn apart by the Church's policy of disconnection. In both those cases the "SP" did their A-E steps to get back into good graces and was able to re-connect with their children. I can tell you from speaking to those people that they also had heartwrenching stories of emotional turmoil. Those are wounds that just dont heal (even after auditing :confused2: ). I also know of two families that made the other decision- that is to stay together and lose all their friends. From speaking to those guys, I also know that they have considerable bitterness over the matter, that they even had to make that kind of choice. People that just the week before were having dinner parties with them, suddenly turn cold and refuse to speak to their former friends just because they did something their Church didn't like. They are the same people they were a week ago, but because the org chose to label them SP, their friends can no longer speak to them- not from personal choice, or a dissagreement, but because of fear and intimidation. Thats mind control, its brainwashing, and its not ok.
Look at some of the people you ex's know who got declared. Some of them were bastards, thats true. But some are really nice people who just got nailed. Put yourself in their shoes for a moment. How would you feel? How would you feel losing contact with your kids, your parents, or your best friends at the whim of a Church? Control by fear? Doesn't sound like much of a Church worth belonging to to me.
Pinchy.