TIZIANO LUGLI – My Scientology Story

Free to shine

Shiny & Free
This is a long story, I'll break into smaller posts. (This is the guy in the "catch me if you can" thread. http://forum.exscn.net/showthread.php?t=18721)


In 1978 I was looking for a new body to dwell, and knowing that all Thetans are basically Italians, I thought that a Fashion model and a Singer/Musician in the Sea Org in Milano would make for a perfect family.

My parents, now OT VIII and OT VII, pioneered Scientology in the 70s, opening orgs all over Italy, then after ‘82 they continued their journey as very successful fashion designers. They have been the personal designers for David Miscavige for almost 2 decades, as well as the designers of many org uniforms, such as for RTC, the Exec Strata, etc. I recall letters back and forth every year from DM and Shelly, then all of a sudden it was only DM…I kept asking myself “has anyone seen Shelly in the last 2 years?”

My brother was recruited to the Sea Org in the late 90s and signed as an auditor, yet he was resigned to 10 years of work in Treasury, Regging, Recruiting, etc. before he was finally routed onto the TTC. I remember one time he had to be rushed back to Italy in 2004 when we found out he had almost lost his leg, because his knee required surgery years before, but FLAG was trying to handle it with assists only. At that point, he had had to wait 2 months to get back in shape physically enough to have his body ready for surgery. His conditions were obviously of someone under heavy “stress”. The flap caused from all this eventually resulted in him being put on the TIP for Class VI. Strangely enough he had to get it bad to do what he signed up for.

When I was 6 years old my mother decided to “introduce me” to Scientology and told me about The Bridge… with a sigh of relief I thought, “Thank god someone already did all the work so I wouldn’t have the burden of the pain to find the path on my own.”

Soon after this, I told my mom something about my being Clear, including the cognition that goes with it. Strangely enough I always knew I was Clear; my certainty was inexplicable.

I had a big purpose to train and go up The Bridge, and I want to profusely thank my parents for their unwavering support in helping me have a childhood centered around that purpose. I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

From 6 to 12 years old, I did the basic courses, Purif, Objectives, ARC Straightwire, Grade 0, and onto Student Hat, Pro TRs, the E-Meter course (before the Pro Metering Course) and M1. Throughout this time, I continued to originate to my auditors and C/Ses that I was Clear.

After 2 “Not Clear R-Factors” I finally attested to CLEAR at FLAG in Aug of 1991. Little did I know that this was a cycle that would be dragged on for the next 20 years!

Once I was finally acknowledged as Clear, I dedicated the next decade to training and volunteer production. I did Level 0, PTS/SP, LOC [KTL wasn’t translated into Italian] and almost all of the OT Hatting courses on the Freewinds. I used to love the Ship, I went there about a dozen times and I often acted as an Interpreter/translator for the expanding Italian field that would go to FSSO for conventions.

I always wanted to train, so I thought that doing work for the Translations Unit would be a good idea to kill two birds with one stone. I spent a few years working every weekend for hours and hours translating nonstop, resulting in more than 1,000 pages of LRH’s material translated. (This earned me some good training awards for many of my OT Hatting Courses on the Ship and for my SHSBC I would start in 2008.)

In 2001, after my first “engramic” Clear experience of the late 80s, I went back to Flag to start my OT Preps. I had gathered enough money for 3 intensives, and my main goal was to do the FPRD and soon after the OT Levels.

The first action I did was a Clear Check Cycle. I found out my first CCRD Auditor had been declared SP for having been out-2D with his PCs and other stuff such as coaxing EPs and Cogs. Though I had nothing to do with any of these things, I was nevertheless C/Sed for a nasty tailor-made Sec Check. I threw out the incompetent auditor they gave me and had Natalie Bouquet (at the time Galbiati). After that, they reviewed my CCRD and asked for further data which I gave and I was then forced to attest to an amazing new discovered state on DM’s Grade Chart: The State of Clear Certified.

I told the examiner I didn’t want to attest to a state I had already attested to previously but I gave up after I was intimidated with the fact that the whole line would get hit severely with some kind of downstat if I didn’t attest. So I did. Clear in 91, and Re-Cleared Clear in 2001. I was clearly Crystal Clear of my Clear cycle and so was Flag apparently, so I began my preps, the FPRD, which was in short phenomenal. I literally finished every remaining session of the 3 intensives with Floating TAs, and Natalie was at the time stellar. Lack of money forced me to stop the cycle short of a dozen questions on the form. Already beyond any gain I would have thought achievable on that step, I came back to Italy to make more money to buy my expensive freedom.

At the time I was working in a company owned by on OT VII who was mid auditing on the level. She gave me her word that if I would get the statistics of the business to a certain high level, I would get the money for my Solo to OT III package as a bonus, in exchange. Having achieved way more than what was expected in less time required, working Int Base SO-style hours, she then denied the entire agreement that was made and so…bye bye OT Levels for now.

Curiously enough that OT VII soon after made it to New OT VIII. As a side note, I always wondered why her husband (my uncle) paralyzed half of his body in a stroke soon after he attested to OT VIII, and on top of that I had personal knowledge of a half a dozen of other Italian OT VIIIs that died in recent years, one with a newly found out AIDS condition and another old friend OT V which had a severe irreversible stroke while on the Ship the last few years. I was always kind of baffled about this. All these OT VIIIs dropping dead? They're the ones who are supposed to go free!
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Free to shine

Shiny & Free
I left that company soon after (obviously as an enemy of the group and everything that goes with working in a company of “Scientologists” which is allegedly using LRH’s tech and WISE channels) and a breakthrough in my music career occurred.

I signed a major deal with Warner Music in Italy, and immediately got to work on my debut album and wrapping up my single release.

While in my recording studio the phone rang; Gold required me to be the official voice talent for LRH’s PDC Lectures (76 lectures given in Philadelphia in 1952). I had the fortune of listening to them 5 times already (still one of my favorite works of all time) and with my voice and translating skills I was the only apparent candidate for such a job. Having refused would have been a disaster for DM’s impossible event targets and the simultaneous multi-language release.

In a few days, after numerous and extensive Sec-Checks to make sure my ethical level was “high enough” to go to The Base I was booked on a plane for an undetermined time to complete the lengthy job. One of the security questions that would have disqualified me for this work was if I had ever had any gay experience or thought of any kind or was ever inclined towards a desire in that direction… I was told that it would be disastrous to be doing LRH’s voice and have anything to do with being gay.

The Int Base
At the end of March 2003 I arrived at the super secret location in Hemet, CA, near the San Jacinto mountains and Palm Springs, about 60 miles east of LA. I was greeted as a VIP, after a little paperwork they took me to the recording studio lounge; a very peaceful and nestled environment. I was in a room with a nice baby grand Yamaha, which I played as I usually do at every chance I have when I’m near a piano. I felt very much at home.

They took me to my sleeping quarters which were very cozy and pretty upscale. I was by myself and was treated close to a celebrity at the time. Within days they began shifting me to different locations, 3 times total. First in a room which was kind of dumpy, then in a room with someone else. In the end I was sleeping in a dirty room with barely any furniture, with two bunk beds and 3 other guys. I recall one weird night to my bewilderment seeing Heber Jentz, the President of the Church of Scientology International himself, sharing a double room next to me.

Due to my production level I was able to get some staff to do my laundry at least, which was regarded as some kind of a privilege after all that work. Most of us were public (non staff) and were working an average of 16 to 18 hours a day. I would sleep for about 4-5 hours, and maybe run around the block of the Vista Apartments (to wake up), then go back and finish my production.

We were loaded in buses and taken to the base. At the gate all of our names had to be confirmed with the guards. Once IN, we were not supposed to go ANYWHERE. We were like guarded prisoners. Most of us would just stay to ourselves, but I always liked walking and exploring, so I would walk around the area, get caught, and sent back to either the Audio building or the Tavern (where public used to eat). I used to sneak out to the Audio building when they were preparing the booth, transferring the Hard Disks, etc., to go to the Qual Building which was just to the left of the Audio and I would study and look at some of the material that was not HCOBs or PLs or any of that, but were all clearly marked “NOT TO LEAVE THE BASE” yet writings of LRH, that to my amazement would never see the light of day—and the amount of those volumes were so numerous so as to equal the entire body of PLs and HCOBs written. I used to be able to stay there a little bit, and then get called for it… My thirst for knowledge and truth has always been pretty strong.

I recall one time during the night, it must have been around 3 am, where panic arose around the building and the I/C and others were running around trying to make sure everything looked perfect and getting everybody to look extra busy. I was just taking a break after my 5th lecture in a row that day (which was more production than any of the other Voice Over Talents) and I did not agree to go back and sit down and act like I was reading something. I heard Birdie (a really nice girl that was staff there at the time) saying to another staff “It’s code Red.” That chaos turned out to be self-explanatory when I saw COB walking with Shelly and Lou outside, towards the CMO building right below Audio (the famous SP Hall). Still I was amazed at the frantic reaction and the environment that was created just by having DM and his crew walk nearby.
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Free to shine

Shiny & Free
The out-points I’ve witnessed myself while at the base could make up for a whole chapter in and of itself, but as far as my PDC mission was concerned, I delivered the product in record time for the multiple language release at the event. On several occasions I would come across “curious" translation mistakes, sometimes completely the opposite of what LRH was saying in the recording. I would make corrections but they would come back rejected and ordered to be re-recorded incorrectly. I firmly opposed any justified or unjustified alteration of Source, and always recorded only what was LRH.

Besides the average 16 hours a day work schedule, the last 3 days I had to stay up for 3 days and 3 nights in a row, with no sleep whatsoever, in order to finish everything and I still delivered LRH’s lectures at my best. I would take random breaks during that time and the staff gave me a tip to stay up (as if they knew the matter cold): to run and run around the building to “wake up”. So that was exactly what I did, plus I had all the coffee and tea I could drink.

Before I left to go back to Italy I received a nice commendation from ED Int. and training awards for the value of 2 Academy courses. At the time I couldn’t care less, I just wanted to leave ASAP.

As soon as I came back from the Int Base, my record was released and it was pretty successful over the next 2 years. I was able to come out with 3 singles, 1 album, and perform in concerts with 20 and 50 thousand people and do shows on TV that would be seen by millions of Italians. I soon decided to take my career to the next level and I wanted to play a bigger game, so I moved to Los Angeles where I had lived for a couple of years while in my teens.

I started working with numerous celebrities in LA and I would have them collaborate with me for my US release as well. My Org was CC Int. I had the pleasure to study in the “famous” Room 303 Celebrity course room. I did the New PTS/SP course, the New Pro Metering and then went to AO to finish my Solo to get onto the OT Levels.

In 2005 I found a public I really liked and eventually got married, but I soon realized it was a wrong choice. I was then coaxed to do a handling at CC to either end it or fix it. The out-tech, enturbulation, evaluation and invalidation, force and “cherry on top reg’ing” that occurred throughout that hell would make for a long story in and of itself. I got divorced anyway and continued with my life.

I met someone else soon after, and with the 2D doubts I had experienced with a failed marriage, I decided to take it slow and not be exclusive, as she had suggested herself. It took no time to enlighten her on Scientology and take her to CC for some services. The Basics had just come out, and beyond my disagreement on the whole subject, I always got outraged with the crush reg’ing and that whole ridiculous “cycle of library donations.”

I told her as my selectee, to steer away from any regging of the Basics, because I first wanted her to get gains through auditing, and since money was an issue, processing was definitely more of a priority than MEST on her bookshelf when I had all the materials myself. That was not taken lightly by CC’s staff, and adding some charge created by the mutually agreed non commitment, I became the obvious target for hell to come down on me. I was escorted out of the 303 course room, never to be able to go back in again and turned into an ethics particle. Completely false KRs portraying me as vicious SP were written by several staff members. In my outrage and disgust, I resorted to reporting everything to the President of CC Int and RTC directly.
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Free to shine

Shiny & Free
Even more

Excerpt from the KR I WROTE about it:
I’ve been in Scientology all my life. Since a very young age I was raised with high moral ethical values. My parents are OT8 and 7. I’ve attested to Clear at a young age and I’ve been training a lot. I did my Student Hat when I was 8, Pro TRs, E-Meter Course soon after. I was auditing Method One at 12, I audited Lev 0 at 14 years old. In the last 2 years I’ve finished the PTS/SP Course and the SOLO Course at AO, mid the New Pro Metering to start the SHSBC right after, which I have half paid for already due to the more than 1,000 pages of translations I’ve done for the TU, and the PDC I’ve done the voice for which ED INT. personally Highly Commended me. I’ve been on the Freewinds 11 times, doing almost every OT Hatting course there is, plus PR-Wise-Artist conventions. I’m above a Sponsor as my IAS status. I’ve recruited many people for the SO, gotten a few dozen on The Bridge. Promoted consistently Scientology, and have been and are of great example of standard of ethics amongst all my friends, workers and professionals. I reached a high celebrity status in Italy as a performing artist under Warner Music and moved recently to LA to work with the biggest Producers and Songwriters in a revolutionary Worldwide release in an effort to change the sound and message of today’s downtone and abberrated music. And hereby I get accused from a low ranking staff member of having committed in BOLD – sexual perverted conduct – malicious rumor mongering to destroy the authority or repute of higher officers or the leading names of Scn or to safeguard a position – refusal to allow a public up the bridge – falsely degrading an auditor’s technical reputation [because I was telling her not to buy the Basics her auditor was trying to sell her] – and the WORST EVER – knowingly using Scientology to obtain sexual relations or restimulation.

I was outraged and highly disappointed at how CC INT has even allowed this kind of garbage to reach my lines. I personally wonder if any of this kind of LIES, mis-communication, alter-isness of data and slanderous remarks with SP and criminal accusation would have been written towards a celebrity of definite higher exposure, if this KR would have been just shredded, and maybe the terminal who wrote it, security checked for “What withhold has (name) missed on you?” Was I just considered “not celebrity enough?” Or someone didn’t do their job at CCInt? I would have expected ethics and President’s Office “protection” on such nonsense, heavy enturbulation and serious DEV-T.


After a month nothing happened, as if nobody received anything I wrote, besides delivering the hard-copies in person (though I yet received no formal acknowledgement or handling). I TR3ed the cycle and went directly to RTC. Apparently an investigation ensued and the people involved would eventually “get corrected.” However I had an off-policy Non-Enturbulation Order that never got actually issued but is still in my Ethics File because of that.

In 2008, I finally found who I would later marry, and my 2nd dynamic started looking great once and for all. CC Int then launched a slandering campaign against me and used all of those false KRs to persuade my girlfriend to leave me. Once she was staying at the Manor Hotel and I was forbidden by security to come in. RTC would eventually interfere and “handle.” (They told me everyone related to the issue was sec checked FPRD style, but I realized that was just a BS PR move because afterwards nothing was actually resolved and I saw everyone walking around as if nothing had happened, and they wouldn't even look me in the eye).

Having had enough of CC Int, and being an AO public anyway, I went to AOLA to finish SOLO One and I routed onto the SHSBC at ASHO. I then managed to go to Flag with my now fiancé, both Clears and both mid-preps.

The Mecca of Technical Perversion
We landed at Flag in Nov 2008, the Mecca of Technical Perversion. For some weird reason I couldn’t start anything for 3 days. I then put RTC on the line, which got me in session straightaway. To my amazement (being towards the end of the FPRD form) I was thrown onto a tailor-made Sec-Check, FPRD-style as my first action. (I found out later that all the C/Sing was done based on these false KRs already acknowledged as false yet left in my folder.) My 2D finished her Preps, did L11 and I one-way flowed her through the Solo One Course. I struggled through the Sec-Check, getting any win I could out of the FPRD. I finally got through it and my next action was a Qual Consultant, who told me I wasn’t Clear. They even had a name for it by that point, the “NCRF”, Non Clear R-Factor.

Apoplectic with rage, I was forced into session 3 times in a row, each time with a nice red-tag EP. I went to RTC to rip her a new one and she told me to “trust her,” assuring me that the cycle would get handled.

I was then routed to the MAA as the next action because they couldn’t get my needle to float; their reasoning was that the tech was not going in, so therefore ethics must be out. Then after 3 days of review from the Snr C/S FLB, I receive the Reality Factor that the Non Clear R/Factor was suspended. (This now doesn't mean I am Clear, but I’m not Not Clear, either.)

This launched a two-week never-ending, grinding-to-the-bone cycle with the worst Sec-Checks, invalidations, Auditor’s Code violations and force I had ever witnessed in Scientology, whereupon my fiancé and I left with the Senior C/S OK to leave hand-in-hand with the Deputy Senior C/S saying I was blowing, just to add more confusion.

I picked up the Clear cycle at AOLA, then got my folders sent uplines for review. In the meantime my 2D was in the middle of OT Eleg. She finished her Sec-Check in 6 hours and yet the cycle continued for 10 months without end and without a Yes or No for the OT Levels. She was told right in the beginning that if she would have donated an additional 2 library packages (this is on top of the 25 she had already donated while on the Ship) that she would have been auditing on OT I in two days. The extortion didn’t bite, and her folders eventually got sent to Flag for review, as well as the Senior C/S WUS (Western United States) which acknowledged that a ton of arbitraries were added on the cycle. These arbitraries continued, so we decided to fly back to the Mecca of Imperfection for her final “Maybe OK” on the Eligibility for the OT Levels. That should have taken a few days and after 10 days of not a Yes and not a No, we had to leave for work. At that point I got another Non Enturbulation Order, never issued but dwelling on top of the other in my Ethics File, only because I stressed that we had to go back for work.
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Free to shine

Shiny & Free

Back To AO
At the beginning of 2005 my 2D had joined Scientology, and only 4 years later had achieved the State of Clear, gotten all her family on the Bridge, and was a Patron With Honors, plus she had donated 25 Basic Libraries, was a fast student, committed on Artists For Human Rights and a successful working actress – and yet for no reason whatsoever she received a tip for her Eligibility to do the Class IV internship, redo the PTS/SP Course and to continue with her contribution (donations).

From November 2008 to April 2009, my folders went back and forth without any results save for more sec-checks only. Finally, they were sent to Int and came back saying that “all that I got was not correct, and that my next step was a sec-check.” Before my mind began to dwell on ballistics experiments, I counted to ten. I requested, as calmly as possible, WHO exactly at Int C/Sed my folder, but to no avail.

With both my 2D and I pretty much on our last straw, I focused on the BC. However, I blew as I recognized that the Church was acting completely contrary to everything I was studying by LRH, and all the Out Tech I was put under. The feeling of lost hope and shredded freedom surrounding us was pretty tough.

The Truth Rundown

At the end of the summer of 2009, my 2D and I discarded all suppression and we flourished and prospered. We soon headed off to Capri, Italy to get married.

My parents had to raise hell to get my brother (now a Class VII at Flag) to come to the wedding and be my Best Man. His wife didn’t get the ok. After he arrived, he looked pale, close to a corpse about to go to the coroner’s office, and my parents got really worried once again.

A few weeks prior to that my brother had called my parents and told them to read the Freedom Magazine dead-agent stuff regarding what was occurring in the media. My parents were totally unaware of anything (living 6000 miles away from FLAG.) They started reading it online, and as anyone who has got any brains, after reading the article it had created more vacuums than filled it with facts. So they began searching for all of the “other stuff,” to find out the identities of KingPin, Fact-Checker and ConMan.

Although my parents were aware of everything already at our wedding, they did not tell us anything at all or prompt us to “look.”

My brother stayed in Italy with my parents for a bit longer and gave interviews to public to send them to Flag. During this time, my mother got him to do medical exams which were showing his condition to be very poor and dangerous; the doctor told him that he had only seen terminal patients look like that. My parents really became worried and asked my brother about the general situation of the Church they had now discovered, but he would not say anything and would immediately and heavily key-in if they mentioned anything about beatings or corrupting the tech. He stopped them by eventually saying that he “doesn’t care about what’s going on” and that his post is “to make Clears” and he’ll go on doing just that no matter what. That was the end of that, for they would not push it further anymore.

My brother eventually returned to the base where he reported my father “went on the internet.” Apparently this is a very high crime for people especially up the Bridge to surf the internet, hence the Cavalry soon landed in Italy. Mike Sutter and Marion Pouw (working directly under DM without any via) arrived at my parents’ door unannounced ready for “the handling.” My parents listened and understood their position, but only pressed upon my brother’s health and the OT Levels for me and my wife. DM’s crew guaranteed they would take care of everything and left.

When we returned to LA, the Paul Haggis resignation letter hit the news, so I Googled it and landed on Marty Rathbun’s Blog. I slowly (and very missed-withholdy) started reading. I could not believe my eyes, but a lot of charge started blowing. As I continued a few mountains started lifting off of my back, and more and more, and some more.

I spent several of the following weeks researching and analyzing data from websites such as www.friendsoflrh.com, RediscoverScientology.com, The Truth Rundown at http://www.tampabay.com/specials/2009/reports/project/, Marty Rathbun’s blog, and numerous others. Knowing of all these testimonies from Top Executives from RTC, WDC and INT that had left, on top of the New OT VIIIs that had resigned, gave me a brand new look and understanding on the overall situation within the Church. FYI: none of these websites contain any ‘Upper Level’ or confidential materials.

Word got out on the streets that I was doing some research and I get called in to the MAA trying to dead-agent Marty Rathbun, Mike Rinder and everyone else and their mother, but I told him I didn’t really care. My folders were magically up lines once again now getting reviewed by Ray Mithoff himself. I didn’t really care at this point, because I knew anything I would get would not be 100% LRH, but a suppressed, distorted and altered tech, as I’ve been exposed to for the majority of my life. A month passes by and my wife doesn’t receive anything different from her Class IV tip, but we were now fully indoctrinated in the real history of the Church of Miscavology. It was an extensive research we conducted for the past 3 months for an average of 12 hours a day.

Without telling anyone, we decided to take the next step and went to see Marty Rathbun himself for the Look-Don’t-Listen Rundown.

Free to shine

Shiny & Free

The Golden Age Of Extortion, Threats and Defamation
DM’s crew were once again back to work, with PIs allegedly on our tail, they told our families that we had been to Texas and that pictures were taken of us and Marty. (We never saw anyone, and they never produced any photos). Suffice it to say they were probably just monitoring the flights in and out of Corpus Christie, Texas. DM’s stooges went full out culling… first my and my wife’s ethics files (with all of the false KRs included) and then gathered all PC folders and FPRD material and went to town “briefing” our family. They took my wife’s father who had been at Flag for a year and a half trying to get onto his OT Levels from R6EW, and they took him off of his OTII which he was in the middle of. Showed him all of our “crimes” and from that point on he would not be allowed back on the Level until we would “conform” and do the A to E steps (as for an SP) or he would have to disconnect from his own daughter. DM’s Cavalry flew to LA to see her mother as well and her sister to continue the Defamation Rundown. In that session they even revealed to them case discoveries made on my folders by the Snr C/S Int, adding PC data on my Clear status, such as that I could never get a certain date straight. My wife’s family had to steer clear of us during Christmas so we spent Christmas on the East coast with other relatives. Her father eventually showed up only expressing a few good-roads and good-weather moments, and the whole disconnection attempt ended up creating a huge flap with her extended non Scientologist family. But that was just the beginning.

As Marty already predicted, DM’s full cavalry (Mike, Marion and the new “technical guy” Hansuli Stali) flew to Italy to disclose our travelling itinerary to my parents. Without even having a clue about what we did in Texas, they dumped a truck load of black PR about Marty portraying him as the biggest SP who had ever lived after Hitler, then presented my father with an encyclopedia of my crimes and false KRs regarding alleged sexual activities and PC folder stuff. All because we committed the biggest crimes in history: To Be There and To Communicate.

The Three RTC Stooges stayed in a hotel nearby on alert for ten days, monitoring us while we were trying to spend some theta time with my family and my daughter. My father agreed with them that the best thing would have been to “do the cycle” once we got back in LA.

Date coincident with all that was going on, Marty’s email address was hijacked and his blog hacked and deleted.

I was aware of their presence (The 3 Stooges) as Marty confirmed with me their whereabouts. I felt the coldness on my parents’ side at the time and I understood what they were going through. I pictured my mother being put in a position were she would soon be forced to choose which son she still would want to be connected with. A mother put in a such a position because one had the balls to disagree and had integrity to find out what was true for him, was a tough bullet to chew.

Tom Davis
We go back to LA on Jan 8th, 2010 and swing by CC Int the following night to meet with some people we know, and on our way out Tom Davis and his wife happen to swing by and his eyes catch mine. I see a cloud on Tom’s head as for what he was thinking in that moment, I would tell you but it would require too much censoring. He calls me the following evening and we meet with him and Jessica the next day. He is, besides being the international spokesperson for the Church of Scientology, someone I’ve known for a very long time and with whom I have some “history.” We discuss our intentions in regards to the Church and its activities and we communicate to both of them that in light of the facts we have thoroughly investigated, we have decided not to continue any Training or Processing within the current Management of the Church. In the discussion I mentioned that I knew, due to Marty’s counter intelligence and even fact-checked it later with my sources (which I have video recorded), that they had already started revealing confidential ethics and case information straight out of my PC and Ethics folders, to which they blatantly lied! They even told me that they knew what I did with Marty, apparently Marty attested me to Clear for them. They didn’t even dare to ask me once what we did in Texas, apparently they didn’t seem to care, for the fact of landing near Public Enemy Number One was already enough to obliterate our existence.

We then communicated that it would be smart for them to leave us alone and not continue any defamatory campaign, but to no avail.
A tale of conditional “friendship”
We met with a couple of people who were once “close friends” to say our goodbyes. We knew about their investment and financial ties with the Church and so we just wanted to say goodbye. We had no desire to really disconnect from anyone nor reveal our truths to them, so our conversations were pretty succinct though a bit heart-breaking.

Some did call, did meet and will never disconnect no matter what. Then, some like Michael Doven took the responsibility (I’m pretty sure it was not an easy task to do) to even go to the extent of calling my wife’s father (on the verge of disconnecting with his own daughter for good) and lying about Marty, saying that he was never an Auditor and never audited Tom Cruise. (Michael was Tom’s personal assistant for 15 years, and was sitting outside pretty much every session Marty personally delivered to Tom between 1998 to 2003).

Some of those that didn’t disconnect from our “evil suppression” are fortunately my parents. They received the call the next day from my brother at Flag, he had several OSA terminals with him monitoring the calls and dictating what to say. They even offered my parents and my 2D’s parents to go to Flag and get auditing for free, paid flight and accommodations… interesting isn’t it?

As we started receiving calls from the rest of our very close group of so-called friends, the FaceBook Enturbulator I/Cs were already on the move. The good old JoJo Zawawi teamed up with Brittany Sierra Garrett (old D/CO of AOLA and 2D of Javier Ruiz whom I personally helped extensively to get on his feet after he left the SO). They started an amazing rumormongering campaign against us with vicious lies given by Tom Davis regarding our standing which apparently is “We’re declared SPs attacking the Church joined with squirrel groups and trying to get upstat Scientologists to follow us.”

Their efforts were well supported by the FaceBook Italian Polizia, Ornella Dogini and Paola Lombardi. They took full responsibility to spread the false rumors to our Italian buddies, teamed up with special forces between Flag MAAs and Italian DSAs. Some were holding strong, but the stress kept growing by the hour, as people that did not disconnect (meaning still had me or my wife as a contact of theirs of FaceBook) were threatened to be declared Suppressive.

In less then one day my FaceBook friends went from 600 to 410. Friends we grew up with, known for a dozen years, people we considered family, guys we helped financially, people we connected with work opportunities, celebrities that became such due to our hard work and unconditional love, all CLICKed their mouse-pad and forever disconnected in their cyber world and in their minds…just-like-that.

Some did email or leave messages that they wanted to meet because of the rumors that were going around and they wanted to get the facts straight from us. That lasted for a couple of hours, as more then 160 people were personally reached in less then 2 days by OSA Int, AOLA MAAs, FLAG MAAs, CCInt President’s Office and many great ass-kisser volunteers. Just wondering if they were all wearing Yellow Shirts with some guy from Golden Era recording it for the next event? ;)

The majority of these people reached the highest highs of the CoS Bridge and STILL need a license to survive, they STILL have to get permission to talk. It is actually a very high commodity in the church and comes at a very high price: it’s called freedom and integrity. Self determinism, what’s that? They have sold their entire eternity to DM’s determinism…heard about “Command Intention” by any chance?

Find out who one’s friends REALLY are…a nice learning experience.

Free to shine

Shiny & Free
Last bit. Check the site for photos!

I Remember…
I remember when Scientology was fun…when Scientologists were actually UP TONE!

When staff members were eager to get on their post and produce the VFPs of their Hats, not to be turned into 24/7 All Hands Regging Particles.

I remember when CC Int used to be fun. When there were not cliques of celebs and big donors, not A-B-C-D listers. Where you would have a friendly environment where people were actual friends. When Tom Davis was an upstat, uptone, funny and energetic guy, when he used to hang out with us, and even go to the movies… with all of the new upcoming talents, small and big celebs alike, and I remember when Kirstie used to be skinny too, back when we were friends.

I remember when you knew that when you’d get off your O/Ws in sessions in an FPRD they wouldn’t use it against you in case you’d leave in the future.

I remember when going to the Freewinds and Flag was a peaceful, relaxing and pure theta experience.

I remember when the Fort Harrison was NOT a 5-star Hotel with alleged 5-star service, but was FULL all the time, instead of empty as it is now.

I remember when you could talk freely about the tech with friends, questions you had, share your wins and rely on your friends for advice without getting into “ethics trouble.” 

chic-corea-tizianoI remember when it was all about OT phenomena and Theta wins and not just mere lousy MEST and money wins.

I remember waking up and wanting nothing else but to go on course, having the excitement to KNOW the next part on the checksheet, where pure understanding and application was the only goal of our Supervisors, not just a machine to shove you through a course in record time to show how DM’s new line-up is 10-times faster.

I remember when Scientology would actually raise your IQ and make you more able at challenging knowledge. When it made Lions out of people, not scared and wounded sheep.

I remember when you used to finish a drill and be really happy about it knowing that you REALLY got it, instead of already feeling invalidated because you would have to re-do it 5 more times by the Golden Age of Tech new checksheet.

I would dare ANYONE even after only a week of passing the test, to tell me 20 Tone Levels and their respective arbitrary number that goes with it, or how about the 13th Law of L&N, if you don’t really remember now ALL of the manifestations in order of a Misunderstood Word. I remember when full conceptual understanding was senior to verbatim patterns.

I remember when you could take some new friend who had a newly found admiration for you and interested in your wins, and you would tell them, “yeah, it’s Scientology” and they were able to come into the org, and meet upstat and uptone people, get greeted as Beings, not as a Div 6 Particle. They were able to walk in and out freely, without the Div 6 Regs overwhelming them and making them into nothing, so that they could at least sell them something, and have a fake statistic to report to their seniors.

I remember when Sea Org Members were there for the products they’d create, they were friendly…and that the stats wouldn’t be the goal, they would just be a by-product of their good work. When an SO member was not just another obstacle you’re trying to pass at an event or at a session/course break trying to reg you in every which way they could - buy this, the new books, the new lectures, come to the seminar where we’re gonna sell you something, there’s an IAS special briefing JUST for you, we gotta get you active on Human Rights, Criminon, Narconon, you gotta take a post in a mission - and when everything was said and done (and you were still broke) - do you qualify for the Sea Org? I need you to come see a special slide show…


The Church of Scientology we once knew is DEAD.

What was once lost can be found again, and what was once great can be greater…and we surely do come back.

At the top there is the biggest traitor of the freedom it proclaims it instills and with nearly a billion dollars in the bank, the torch of the IAS is now and forever dead. 

In this church of conformity the pretense of “we disagree” remains just a lousy sales pitch to make the few rebels for freedom enslave themselves to the degree that they NEVER agreed.

Never “play” with your own integrity in the hope of some future freedom...it just never works out that way. Be TRUE to yourself, in EVERY step of the way...whichever way that is.

You can’t scream to calm somebody down. You can’t fight a war for peace. You can’t hate to preserve love and you cannot enslave the people if you’re trying to free beings.

I was never a slave.

Tiziano Lugli


Patron with Honors
An important account. Bravo, Titziano!!



Troublesome Internet Fringe Dweller
What an interesting individual and what a remarkable story - but what a pity he's still sipping the Kool Aid. I can't help but wonder what his life would have been like without the manacles of Scientology.


I read your whole story!

Tiziano, I read your entire story. It is quite a story, interesting, fast paced and covers a lot of facets of life in today's C of S. You have learned a lot in you short but very intensive study.

There is even more to learn. ESMB offers excellent exposure to nearly all if not all facets of Scientology. There is a mix of people, you can hear all "sides" of every controversy. All sides and angles are expressed from totall pro Church and/or Hubbard to totally anti with all shades in between.

I began my study here in February of 2009. I learned a lot initially and felt I had maximized my knowledge around last November. Right around Christmas time, I met or reconnected with some people and learned even more. I felt I had a good view of everything and then starting in late April or early May, the roof blew off of my knowledge, I added maybe another 40% or 50% to it. The knowledge comes at you in spurts, usually as a result of making contact with a new person whose posts you have not read before.

Expressing your own experiences and thoughts as you have done will usually open doors for you to meet people who are willing to dialogue with you and from whom you can acquire new knowledge while also enlightening them.

I enjoyed your story immensely. I hope you continue to participate more on ESMB.


What an interesting individual and what a remarkable story - but what a pity he's still sipping the Kool Aid. I can't help but wonder what his life would have been like without the manacles of Scientology.

My thoughts as well after reading the whole bit last night. It is unfortunate that he cannot step 'outside' enough yet to see the whole body of what he has been constructed within, he's not just sipping, he has been swimming in the pool for most of his life, best place for him in my honest opinion would be over at ESK, I highly doubt we'll see him much (if at all) here since he seems to be aligned somewhat with Ratbunny, and you know this is just natter and sour grapes around here (tongue firmly in cheek).
Just my thoughts on a cloudy Dad's Day.


I don't understand why he's surprised that OT VIIIs are dropping dead. He dropped dead after going Clear last lifetime.

Another thing I don't understand is why Clears need to do the False Purpose Rundown. Then again, that bit of Hubbard tech arrived after I left Scientology, so perhaps I'm behind the LRH tech curve on that one.

Frankly, this and the video, taken as a package, resemble a commercial with action car chase scenes attached.

Terril park

I don't recall anyone in the Freezone who needed much in the way of OT

Mine is probably a fairly typical route. A Dof P interview, and was asked
" Any reason you can't go on to OT levels?"

Me " No".

And so I did :)