exsomessenger
Patron Meritorious
now that is a, well written, funny ass story.
ade me laugh out loud.
ade me laugh out loud.
A Very Dangerous Situation
This post is deadly serious and true. Don’t ask me who I am or where I am. I will not reveal any personal information to anyone as I fear for my safety and the safety of the world. You will understand why once you read the information that follows.
This much I will say. I am independently wealthy and spend my time adventuring around the world, mountaineering, caving and hunting for treasure. I keep my ears open for all urban legends, stories, folk tales and such, because although these are frequently made up as hoaxes, lies and practical jokes, they often times come from a kernel of truth. It is this kernel of truth that must be discovered. It is very hard to keep a secret and I’ve found in my travels that these stories sometimes lead to “treasures” that would not otherwise have been found due to the fact that most people discount these stories as superstitions and fairy tales.
In my researches and constant practice of keeping my ear to the ground I came across the story of OT III, from the writings of L. Ron Hubbard. What particularly interested me was this “electronic mountain trap” that apparently imprisoned Xenu, the head of the “Galactic Confederation”, as outlined in the cosmology of the OT III story. Neither believing nor dismissing this information, I filed it in my mind as interesting curiosa and left it at that.
On one of my journeys to a land untraveled by modern man, I found myself deep inside a mountain on an expedition to explore and the pure sense of adventure. It was there that I came upon a not unusual phenomenon. I looked at my compass, as I often do, and noticed it was behaving in an erratic manner. This was not a reason for alarm as the path that lead out was well known and I knew that iron ore deposits were typically the cause of this kind of compass behavior. This was where I had the thought that I should explore this area more thoroughly and I had this impish daydream of finding the most unlikely of artifacts, the dreaded electronic trap of Xenu!
Little did I know that my daydream was to be prophetic, but I’m getting ahead of myself. The interior of the cave had no unusual features or anything that would indicate workmanship from an intelligent source. There was only one area that stood out from the rest of the cave walls and only because it appeared to be dry and not seeping with moisture. This told me that the material there was not allowing moisture to come through, perhaps due to a large unfilled void behind it, or because the material was different, perhaps artificially placed there and made to look like the natural surroundings.
I began to knock on it at first with the butt of my axe and the material seemed soft. The surrounding material was much harder. I started to chip at it and it crumbled and disintegrated very easily. I chipped away at it for several hours. I had enough supplies to spend several days in the cave and still make the trip out so this delay did not bother me. I kept at it. The only reason I didn’t give up was because my compass would behave more and more erratically the further in I dug and there was no iron ore anywhere in sight.
Then I hit something hard. Pardon me for being mysterious at this point, but I will not describe the object as to size, weight and quality for reasons that are my own. Suffice it say, it is very impressive and very inscrutable as far as the technology is concerned. I removed it from that location and it is now in a secret location, totally under my control and only known by me.
I have given several of my attorneys specific instructions, without revealing the nature of the situation, to undertake very specific steps should I turn up missing for a set time period without communication or if I should turn up dead. These specific instructions will lead to the exposing and releasing of Xenu in a very public way. So to anyone thinking of discovering and stopping me, please think again.
As you can well imagine this discovery brings to question the validity of L. Ron Hubbard’s story of OT III. Well, at least the part of Xenu’s electronic trap. After reading the various arguments for and against the validity of Scientology, it is my conclusion that anything L. Ron Hubbard said or wrote is subject to a well deserved level of suspicion.
This brings me to my very precarious and dangerous situation. I am toying with the idea of releasing Xenu and donating the device to the scientific community. I’m certain the psychological community would be very interested in the technology of entrapping souls. Perhaps they would be able to reverse engineer it and use the technology to free people from the confines of the electronic waves present on earth or even to gain insight into the nature of the soul. Either way, I am not an expert on these things and am inclined to leave it to the experts to figure out.
Now, if L. Ron Hubbard is correct, releasing Xenu could unleash terrible forces – forces that could lead to our enslavement and destruction. However, given the fact that L. Ron Hubbard has questionable credibility, my thoughts are that releasing Xenu would yield a wealth of information and shed light on the lies told by L. Ron Hubbard. Personally, I would find it interesting to have a jaw flapping session with old Xenu and get the real dirt on the whole OT III story.
But then I have doubts. Perhaps releasing a multi-million year old head of the “Galactic Federation” may not be the greatest idea. However, I am an adventurer and the curiosity is killing me. This board is the best release of this information as I’m certain this news will be spread throughout the Scientology community. Many of you have experienced the truth of OT III first hand and know the true danger of this discovery.
I am looking for feedback on whether or not I should release Xenu. I would appreciate your honest and serious handling of this matter.
I have given several of my attorneys specific instructions, without revealing the nature of the situation, to undertake very specific steps should I turn up missing for a set time period without communication or if I should turn up dead. These specific instructions will lead to the exposing and releasing of Xenu in a very public way. So to anyone thinking of discovering and stopping me, please think again.
Come to think of it, should Xenu actually show-up, I do have my "Property of Xenu" t-shirt.
Put that on, and I'll be all good.
You know, this could be better than Godzilla ! Or Cloverfield!
Or go bra-less (especially if you are in a DDD/E cup), and run around Clearwater with a "Property of Xenu" t-shirt while grocery shopping.
NO! don't listen to these SP's! DON'T RELEASE ZENU!
If you go anywhere near the container, as a safety precaution, make sure you wrap your head in aluminum foil to prevent him from brain-waving you.
Carry a strong magnet somewhere on your person, preferably inserted in a body orifice so the magnetic field gets more inside you to prevent him from snatching your body-control beams.
As a last resort, if he's on to you, just before he destroys your thetan, command him to 'be three feet behind your head!' This will either handle his whole case, making him a clear and no longer a danger, or, more likely, since he no longer has a head, he'll go zooming off into space, unable to get there!
May LRH be with you.....
I say URG is spouting BS
BS for sure.
I was agreeing with UKAnony but point taken. Sorry to offend.Hey - go easy mate, Bee Sting might get hurt feelin's from this allegation!
Jes sayin'...
EP
I was agreeing with UKAnony but point taken. Sorry to offend.
Flower bed? I thought you just used the soil in the crypt.
Paul