Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology - PART 3

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oneonewasaracecar

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Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology - PART 2

Extraordinary story!

I hope the full expose is meticulously corroborated & memorialized in the next big tell-all book or documentary that comes out.

I have long held the belief that if anyone cracks the PI network, the dominoes could all begin toppling. I have even made predictions about this happening (in the annual "PREDICTIONS" thread on ESMB each year) and it did in fact begin to happen notably two (2) times! The PIs that stalked Pat Broeker for decades at a cost of over $10m and the PIs that stalked Ron Miscavige Sr.

Gloriously promising as "deep throat" sources, both of those PIs ended with a fizzle, when the COS took out its considerable check book and "as-ised" the problem.

However, there still remains an extensive, dark network of dirty PIs and lawyers who have run the COS (Crimewave of Scientology's) black ops for many decades, none of which has yet come to light.

Unless there are serious federal investigations (triggering "Son of Sam" laws--whereby perpetrators of a crime cannot publish or sell their stories for a profit) it is unlikely that any PI/Lawyer would simply cough up their story for free or write a little book for small change--when the Scientology hush-money jackpot awaits them.

Well, at least I can dream--that some principled whistleblower(s) come forward that can dump a sizable load of the cult's filthy secrets out into public view.

That's why daily I continue trying to get in "theta com" and apply the Non-Existence Formula with Julian Assange, LOL.

If one of the whales blows, they would have the resources to do some real damage in this area.
 

ThetanExterior

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Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology - PART 2

I think Jesse Prince might mention this in his forthcoming book. I seem to recall him talking about it at the Getting Clear Conference in Toronto.
 

HelluvaHoax!

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Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology - PART 2

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Cross-posted from the Underground Bunker article that reveals senior Sea Org execs are training vicious ATTACK dogs at their religious Mecca in Clearwater.

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Using Dr. Hubbard's "Data Series", I have been able to detect 3 reasons for the ATTACK dogs:

1) With all the viral entheta about Scn on the internet, OSA has found it increasingly difficult to recruit ATTACK thetans.

2) Security had to be dramatically stepped up because while Ron's Bluebird motorhome was recently being restored (for the grand opening of the "L. Ron Hubbard; Messiah, Madman, Metteyya or Meshugga?" museum) they finally found the missing OT 9 and 10 materials. And the ATTACK dogs are needed to safeguard the materials from the prying eyes of psychs, saboteurs & insolvent scientologists.

3) Because Ron's super-theta religious scripture says to always ATTACK.
 

HelluvaHoax!

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Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology - PART 2

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Surveillance photo courtesy of THE UNDERGROUND BUNKER:

CalumetMap2a-e1474635255800_zpsnvdyo3ah.jpg




AERIAL RECON PHOTO: UPDATED!

DRPF_zpso7urfol6.jpg




DRPF (abbreviation): Dog Rehabilitation Project Force; a spiritual retreat to handle CIC[SUP]1 [/SUP]that refuse to attack.


[SUP]1[/SUP] CIC - Counter-intentioned canine
 

uncover

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Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology - PART 2

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Cross-posted from the Underground Bunker article that reveals senior Sea Org execs are training vicious ATTACK dogs at their religious Mecca in Clearwater.
.....
Sorry, but the training described in the article is the typical training for GUARD (or PROTECTION) dogs (and NOT for ATTACK dogs).
 

HelluvaHoax!

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Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology - PART 2

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Sorry, but the training described in the article is the typical training for GUARD (or PROTECTION) dogs (and NOT for ATTACK dogs).


True true. Good catch.

While writing the post, I thought of that--but didn't want to let theta facts derail a perfectly good opportunity for entheta parody. LOL

Hey, aren't parodies and spoofs expected to exaggerate in order to make the ridicule more delicious? Ergo, I shan't be writing up my overts and withholds any time soon....:giggle:
 

anonomog

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Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology - PART 2

Instead of typing the name in the address bar of the browser, the cursor skipped into the search box. (Probably lack of coffee to the morning brain.)
Yet, as always Google delivers the results in the predictive dropdown.


WTF is Martymachlia? (Lack of coffee doesn't help grumpiness.)

Apparently it is : a paraphilia which involves sexual attraction to having others watch the execution of a sexual act.

Everything makes perfect sense now.

The link was waaaaaaay more interesting than where I had originally intended.
But I have been wondering why Google would suggest something to me that is in a list of paraphilias? This google account is as pure as the driven snow, sad, but true.
Then i remembered muttering "F this sh!t" last time I was on that page...and the literal Googlegod hovering at the microphone, understood. :coolwink:
 

oneonewasaracecar

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Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology - PART 2

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True true. Good catch.

While writing the post, I thought of that--but didn't want to let theta facts derail a perfectly good opportunity for entheta parody. LOL

Hey, aren't parodies and spoofs expected to exaggerate in order to make the ridicule more delicious? Ergo, I shan't be writing up my overts and withholds any time soon....:giggle:

As long as it is funny and definitively inaccurate I'm fine with that.

We now have an increased set of terms to humorously describe Scientology's canines.

What we don't have is a canine tone scale:
 

Jump

Operating teatime
Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology - PART 2

As long as it is funny and definitively inaccurate I'm fine with that.

We now have an increased set of terms to humorously describe Scientology's canines.

What we don't have is a canine tone scale:


So far, I've only got the headline...


Yogic Savage Canines Oversee Harrassment Business
 

HelluvaHoax!

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Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology - PART 2

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It couldn't have happened to a nicer cult. But first. . .

WHAT ORGANIZATION IN THE WORLD HAS:

--The most causative members?

--The most advanced administrative technology?

--The most advanced ethics technology?

--Members that are a higher evolutionary species, Homo Novus?

--Members that are Clears with genius IQs?

--OT VIIIs who are "total cause over life"?

--Members with secret supernatural OT powers?

--Elite management who possess the unstoppable Power of Postulates?​


ANSWER: Scientology

QUESTION:
Then how it even possible for this to happen?


scientology.jpg



Yeah, that's right--that's the gloriously infamous "TRAPPED IN THE CLOSET" episode of South Park. Yup, the cartoon that revealed to mankind L. Ron Hubbard's um--cartoonish Xenu story.

Hall of fame stupid, isn't it? The most powerful and "Advanced" beings on earth cannot stop even a little suppressive J&D cartoon from parking in front of the complex housing their "Advanced" Organization? LOL

And the world's #1 Hollywood publication is promoting it to all of the movie stars that Scientology is desperately hoping to recruit.

CLICK HERE FOR A WAY TO HAVE AN F/N AND VGIS WITHOUT PAYING $500,000: [video]http://watchcartoonsonline.eu/watch/south-park-s9-e12-trapped-closet/[/video]


I think it's very safe to say it would be impossible (even for OTs) to find anything "on this planet" more STUPID than the couple minutes beginning at 11:23 of that SouthPark video.
 
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HelluvaHoax!

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Top 100 Stupid "END PHENOMENAS" in Scientology

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I just knew something was missing from my previous post from a couple weeks ago.

Ahhh, it just hit me. Relief! LOL

Footnote now added below, in red.


-----​

A 'never-in' posted their burning desire to study Hubbard's OT materials...


There are two (2) routes to the OT materials:

1) Pay 500,000 dollars and dedicate 2-3 decades on Dr. Hubbard's Bridge to Total Freedom. There you will encounter all the OT materials and achieve the EP ("End Phenomena") of Scientology[SUP]1[/SUP].

2) Instead, just Google Xenu and read the OT materials right here on your computer screen. The entire "red on white" Hubbard technical bulletins are online too. Rather than wading though ten million words, you should immediately skip to the book's last chapter, last page--where you will discover that the [STRIKE]butler[/STRIKE] BT did it.


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[SUP]

1
[/SUP] End Phenomena of Scientology:
1. Those spiritual and MEST universe manifestations confirming that a being has successfully completed their journey from homo sapiens up through Clear & full Operating Thetan.
2. The brief moment in time immediately after a Scientologist completes their long journey up the Bridge (attesting to "Total Freedom") and immediately before someone hands them their next "Expanded Golden Age Super Total Freedom" routing form.
3. The exhilarating win in which a Scientology cognites that they an immortal being that is 'total cause over life' and therefore in no further need of Scientology, confirmed by a floating TA and VVGIs. The auditor and case supervisor, noting this origination, must take every precaution to not invalidate the OT; instead, sending them to Ethics for an extensive program of O/W writeups and lower conditions until the OT takes responsibility and invalidates themselves. Thereafter, the OT can do an amends project and petition to be allowed back on the Bridge.​
4. When a Scientologist looks at the internet without an approved-in-writing CSW.​
 
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HelluvaHoax!

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..

PART II : "EP OF SCIENTOLOGY"


EP of lower Bridge (Wog to Grade 7): "I AM MOCKING UP MY OWN BANK"

EP of OT levels: "I AM MOCKING UP MY OWN BTs"

EP of Scientology: "I AM MOCKING UP MY OWN WINS"[SUP]1[/SUP]



.

[SUP]1 [/SUP]When a Scientologist cognites that they, themselves, are manufacturing their own crazy glue by having "wins" and attributing the "source" of said wins to L. Ron Hubbard--they immediately become un-glued (from the cult) and un-crazy.
 

Karen#1

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Another Happy Customer testifying to Wins and Gains, wanting others to have the wins she just had. :) :) :)

Courtesy Pete Griffiths.

Success.Story.jpg
 

HelluvaHoax!

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..

Another Happy Customer testifying to Wins and Gains,
wanting others to have the wins she just had. :) :) :)

Courtesy Pete Griffiths.

Success.Story.jpg


As a bona fide SP, I think I am highly qualified to perform a CSI investigation and autopsy of Scientology's so-called "MIRACLES".

Wait, are you thinking there is something inherently wrong that I hear a win and immediately want to "invalidate" it? Good, I am glad we got that out of the way. LOLOLOL

So, let's see what the "MIRACLE" is. Typically, Scientology "MIRACLES" all fall under one of the following at least five (5) headings:

MIRACLE TYPE A:
Whatever the Scientologist is describing, didn't actually happen at all the way they are perceiving/describing it. Thus they are deluded, which is not an anomalous miracle, since almost all scientologists trade in delusion on almost a daily basis.

MIRACLE TYPE B: It was a coincidence, not a "MIRACLE"

MIRACLE TYPE C: The "MIRACLE" they are sharing has not happened yet. It is going to happen in the future. Oddly, this fact doesn't seem to interrupt, slow or even slightly lessen the euphoric exhilaration & celebration at all.

MIRACLE TYPE D: The scientologist's rather profound lack of general knowledge about the world, science, the humanities and/or the skill of critical thinking itself--interprets easily explained events as sacred "MIRACLES" that confirm Dr. Hubbard's technology having worked.

MIRACLE TYPE E: The "MIRACLE" was simply a function of the law of averages.​

There are other types, but that's more than enough to return to the above OT SUCCESS STORY, in which:

--the person wishes to produce a human rights movie.

--the person finds a discarded flyer on the ground that is promoting "aesthetic creation".

--the person assumes that since movies have "aesthetics" this will lead to them figuring out how to make a human rights movie.​

Get it? A crumpled piece of paper is a "MIRACLE" because in the future the person who found that piece of paper thinks they are going to learn how to create aesthetics--which will then automatically result in them producing a movie.

BIG PROBLEM: In Hollywood and around the rest of the world, there are extremely creative and very skilled screenwriters, film producers, actors/actresses and movie directors. They already learned everything and much more that is on that crumpled piece of paper. Yet, they are out of work due to to a wide spectrum of reasons, chief amongst them the simple economics that films are very expensive and very risk ventures. And there are a multitudinous number of "artists" and "filmmakers" in ratio to the number of of investors who are willing to risk even one dollar on such a wildly speculative investment. In other words, there are armies of highly talented filmmakers but no finance to support their dream. Only a few movies get made each year, forming a very exclusive club. Even iconic directors and movie stars have to pitch their deals around the world in the hope of finding an investment source. Sometimes they do but more often they don't. Or they are told they can make a modestly priced "TV Movie" or nothing. But usually they are just told "no".

Let's review the fact that the OT above then promotes all this uneventful wishing as a "MIRACLE". They didn't actually DO anything--except find a discarded piece of paper. Then they turn around and immediately begin hyperbolically bragging to lower level Scientologists:

"Become CLEAR and also go up onto this level where I am,
and you will know what I am talking about.
YOU can create miracles like this!"



Wutttt? What miracles?! lol


CONCLUSION: THE [STRIKE]Emperor's[/STRIKE] SCIENTOLOGIST'S NEW [STRIKE]Clothes.[/STRIKE] MIRACLES.
 
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programmer_guy

True Ex-Scientologist
Another Happy Customer testifying to Wins and Gains, wanting others to have the wins she just had. :) :) :)

Courtesy Pete Griffiths.

Success.Story.jpg


Christians believe similar things except they use prayer and then say that God did it for them.

The slang term for this is "woo-woo". :)
 
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HelluvaHoax!

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Top 100 Stupid CRAVINGS in Scientology

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Cross-Posted from another thread ("Independent Scientology Milestone Two says 'don't agree with the bank') where loyal officers to Dr. Hubbard lament the crashed, tiny and ever-diminishing number of "Indie" Scientologists on the Bridge to total freedom.

And, naturally (being Scientologists) they know the WHY and the HANDLING for how to instantly change that downstat condition--they blame the Indie customers for being banky. It's kind of like a car mechanic explaining to his bankruptcy lawyer that the business really crashed when people stopped coming to the repair shop. The lawyer was curious why that happened, to which the OT mechanic explained with great certainty: "Well, obviously, if their car is not working, they would have no way of driving it into the repair shop!"

But that's not the best part of it. The Indie dutifully included an LRH quote, per policy, which was handpicked to "indicate" to the reader and help rehabilitate their desire to "get back on the Bridge".
What better quote than this gem from KSW:

“The common denominator of a group is the reactive bank. Thetans without banks have different responses. They only have their banks in common. They agree then only on bank principles. Person to person the bank is identical. So constructive ideas are individual and seldom get broad agreement in a human group. An individual must rise above an avid craving for agreement from a humanoid group to get anything decent done.”
-------



Whoa!

That was phenomenal! Never mind that item on your checksheet where you are required to do a clay demo of POE'S LAW. After reading Milestone Two's post, you can just attest and sign it off yourself to having full conceptual understanding. LOL.

I truly love the LRH Quote they selected, which includes Dr. Hubbard's priceless admonishment:

"An individual must rise above an avid craving for agreement........"


PC PARADOX # 735:
In Scientology, the three (3) most desperately craved commodities are Money, Status and Agreement.

Hubbard states that "reality is agreement". Therefore, approximately 98% of the time one spends in Scientology is dedicated to soliciting agreement with Scientology--whether getting others to agree to join and/or pay for their bridge--or trying to convince oneself to agree (despite glaring evidence to the contrary) that the tech is working.

Within the cult, the manipulation, pressure and coercion to agree with Hubbard/Scientology is relentless. It's how Scientologists make Hubbard's delusional & unworkable theories a "reality" within their minds.

Minus Hubbard's and Scientologists' mutual "avid craving for agreement", the entire subject of Scientology instantly collapses and Scientologists walk away scratching their heads and laughing.

 

Churchill

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Re: Top 100 Stupid CRAVINGS in Scientology

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Cross-Posted from another thread ("Independent Scientology Milestone Two says 'don't agree with the bank') where loyal officers to Dr. Hubbard lament the crashed, tiny and ever-diminishing number of "Indie" Scientologists on the Bridge to total freedom.

And, naturally (being Scientologists) they know the WHY and the HANDLING for how to instantly change that downstat condition--they blame the Indie customers for being banky. It's kind of like a car mechanic explaining to his bankruptcy lawyer that the business really crashed when people stopped coming to the repair shop. The lawyer was curious why that happened, to which the OT mechanic explained with great certainty: "Well, obviously, if their car is not working, they would have no way of driving it into the repair shop!"

But that's not the best part of it. The Indie dutifully included an LRH quote, per policy, which was handpicked to "indicate" to the reader and help rehabilitate their desire to "get back on the Bridge".
What better quote than this gem from KSW:
-------



Whoa!

That was phenomenal! Never mind that item on your checksheet where you are required to do a clay demo of POE'S LAW. After reading Milestone Two's post, you can just attest and sign it off yourself to having full conceptual understanding. LOL.

I truly love the LRH Quote they selected, which includes Dr. Hubbard's priceless admonishment:

"An individual must rise above an avid craving for agreement........"


PC PARADOX # 735:
In Scientology, the three (3) most desperately craved commodities are Money, Status and Agreement.

Hubbard states that "reality is agreement". Therefore, approximately 98% of the time one spends in Scientology is dedicated to soliciting agreement with Scientology--whether getting others to agree to join and/or pay for their bridge--or trying to convince oneself to agree (despite glaring evidence to the contrary) that the tech is working.

Within the cult, the manipulation, pressure and coercion to agree with Hubbard/Scientology is relentless. It's how Scientologists make Hubbard's delusional & unworkable theories a "reality" within their minds.

Minus Hubbard's and Scientologists' mutual "avid craving for agreement", the entire subject of Scientology instantly collapses and Scientologists walk away scratching their heads and laughing.


YES, and...

...enter Les Dane, manipulator (salesman) extraordinaire and Insurance/used car/snake oil medicine whose book "Big League Sales Closing Techniques" was the Standard Tech for extracting
thousands and thousands of $$$ on from the hapless rubes.

With techniques like "nodding your head" and making dozens of banal statements that could only be agreed
with (Quite a snowstorm we're having, Ed?) Dane and Hubbard were able to overcome the reactive mind's reluctance to take out a 4th mortgage.

The "avid craving for agreement" was the glue that held the whole shebang together.
 
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