Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology - PART 3

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HelluvaHoax!

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From HH: ("...nothing can stop the Duke of Earl").

And you're a rebel and you'll never ever be any good!:dieslaughing:



:hysterical:

Nice call on the "He's a Rebel", LOL. I had to see how accurate you were on the exact time period both songs hit the Billboard Top 100. And you were dead on! 1962! I started looking at some of the titles from that year (when I was a little kid)--and many cool memories flooded in

Holy Hell! That was a very different world back then! LOL
 

JackStraw

Silver Meritorious Patron
..





:hysterical:

Nice call on the "He's a Rebel", LOL. I had to see how accurate you were on the exact time period both songs hit the Billboard Top 100. And you were dead on! 1962! I started looking at some of the titles from that year (when I was a little kid)--and many cool memories flooded in

Holy Hell! That was a very different world back then! LOL

:biggrin: So happy you enjoyed that!

In 1962 I was 6 or 7 yrs old! My 7 years older brother had an awesome collection of "oldies" so that was "my" music at that age.

It's always been my claim that Duke of Earl is the greatest rock n' roll song of all time! (I don't care that it is probably better classified as Do-wop.) :dancer:

Jack
 

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Top 100 Stupid WTF MOMENTS in Scientology

...

Finally!

Mainstream media has finally caught up to the Orwellian tales, tricks & treachery of Scientology. A brilliant example is this month's ROLLING STONE magazine which lists out some of the more famous "blows" in a feature story called: "SCIENTOLOGY DEFECTORS: A Timeline".

The presentation is stunningly simple, showing the celebrity's or VIP's photograph and then briefly detailing:

1. Who he/she is.

2. Cause for Defection.

3. Most WTF Scientology Moment.

It is at once tragic, bizarre and hilarious.

Particularly that 3rd one. That is, I believe, the very first time mainstream media has finally arrived at the richly descriptive "WTF SCIENTOLOGY MOMENT" idiom that Scientology idiocy has truly earned and deserves.

GO TO ROLLING STONE LINK

Perhaps even more creepily compelling is the last sentence of that section, which reserves a space for the Church of Scientology to respond to the accusations. As expected, the cult's Ministry of Truth obviously worked overtime to fashion responses that they had total certainty & total knowingness would make the reader ignore the insanity they just read and conclude: "Wow! Those Scientologists are sure wonderful humanitarians!" LOL.

Some highlights:

(Responding to Marty Rathbun's story about the Bohemian Rhapsody "musical chairs" incident):
"Representatives from the Church have denied that this took place."

(Responding to Jenna Miscavige Hill's story of child abuse):
"We note that recollections in Ms. Hill's book about her schooling are dramatically at odds with the recollections of 30 of her classmates. The church follows all laws with respect to children. Claims to the contrary are false."

(Responding to Amy Scobee's dark personal experience with disconnection):
"The church denies the policy exists."

(Responding to Jason Beghe's whistleblowing about the cult's fair gaming lawsuits attacks):
"The church has applied its lawful rights to defend itself through counsel".

(Responding to Tom Devocht's expose of wide scale violence and assaults by the cult leader):
"Again, the church has denied this game took place that its leaders engage in violence."

(Responding to Leah Remini's revealing the cult's ritualistic abuse, lying and psychological terrorism):​
"...the Church invoked its First Amendment right to respond to her false claims with the truth."



SCIENTOLOGY: The cult leaders indignantly proclaim they don't do any of the horrific abuses that 99% of Scientologists claim they do. It's 99% because 99% of Scientologists blow. Because of the horrific abuses. Thereafter, Scientology expects everyone to ignore the 99% because they left Scientology (i.e. "apostates", "blown", et al). This is wide-eyed, fanatical Scientology logic at its best--to wit, trying to get you to believe that although the tech works 100% of the time, 99% of the time people run away and criticize Scientology because.......................because they are no longer Scientologists. And, naturally if 99% of the customers left, it's because 99% of the customers are evil liars who won't tell the truth that Scientology works and they really had huge wins--and they blew in spite of their huge wins, in order to try to destroy Scientology. Because.......well never mind "because", these people are just evil, trust us!
 
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Out/Int

Patron with Honors
Re: Top 100 Stupid WTF MOMENTS in Scientology

...

Finally!

Mainstream media has finally caught up to the Orwellian tales, tricks & treachery of Scientology. A brilliant example is this month's ROLLING STONE magazine which lists out some of the more famous "blows" in a feature story called: "SCIENTOLOGY DEFECTORS: A Timeline".

The presentation is stunningly simple, showing the celebrity's or VIP's photograph and then briefly detailing:
1. Who he/she is.

2. Cause for Defection.

3. Most WTF Scientology Moment.

It is at once tragic, bizarre and hilarious.

Particularly that 3rd one. That is, I believe, the very first time mainstream media has finally arrived at the richly descriptive "WTF SCIENTOLOGY MOMENT" idiom that Scientology idiocy has truly earned and deserves.

GO TO ROLLING STONE LINK

Perhaps even more creepily compelling is the last sentence of that section, which reserves a space for the Church of Scientology to respond to the accusations. As expected, the cult's Ministry of Truth obviously worked overtime to fashion an response that they had total certainty & total knowingness would make the reader ignore the insanity they just read and conclude: "Wow! Those Scientologists are sure wonderful humanitarians!" LOL.

Some highlights:
(Responding to Marty Rathbun's story about the Bohemian Rhapsody "musical chairs" incident):
"Representatives from the Church have denied that this took place."

(Responding to Jenna Miscavige Hill's story of child abuse):
"We note that recollections in Ms. Hill's book about her schooling are dramatically at odds with the recollections of 30 of her classmates. The church follows all laws with respect to children. Claims to the contrary are false."

(Responding to Amy Scobee's dark personal experience with disconnection):
"The church denies the policy exists."

(Responding to Jason Beghe's whistleblowing about the cult's fair gaming lawsuits attacks):
"The church has applied its lawful rights to defend itself through counsel".

(Responding to Tom Devocht's expose of wide scale violence and assaults by the cult leader):
"Again, the church has denied this game took place that its leaders engage in violence."

(Responding to Leah Remini's revealing the cult's ritualistic abuse, lying and psychological terrorism):​
"...the Church invoked its First Amendment right to respond to her false claims with the truth."



SCIENTOLOGY: The cult leaders indignantly proclaim they don't do any of the horrific abuses that 99% of Scientologists claim they do. It's 99% because 99% of Scientologists blow. Because of the horrific abuses. Thereafter, Scientology expects everyone to ignore the 99% because they left Scientology (i.e. "apostates", "blown", et al). This is wide-eyed, fanatical Scientology logic at its best--to wit, trying to get you to believe that although the tech works 100% of the time, 99% of the time people run away and criticize Scientology because.......................because they are no longer Scientologists. And, naturally if 99% of the customers left, it's because 99% of the customers are evil liars who won't tell the truth that Scientology works and they really had huge wins--and they blew in spite of their huge wins, in order to try to destroy Scientology. Because.......well never mind "because", these people are just evil, trust us!
Hot Damn Helluva hoax - this is amazing stuff.

I think they should have labeled the article "Going Clear" but that would infringe on Copy right laws, now wouldn't it....:coolwink:
 

Type4_PTS

Diamond Invictus SP
Re: Top 100 Stupid WTF MOMENTS in Scientology

...

Finally!

Mainstream media has finally caught up to the Orwellian tales, tricks & treachery of Scientology. A brilliant example is this month's ROLLING STONE magazine which lists out some of the more famous "blows" in a feature story called: "SCIENTOLOGY DEFECTORS: A Timeline".

The presentation is stunningly simple, showing the celebrity's or VIP's photograph and then briefly detailing:
1. Who he/she is.

2. Cause for Defection.

3. Most WTF Scientology Moment.

It is at once tragic, bizarre and hilarious.

Particularly that 3rd one. That is, I believe, the very first time mainstream media has finally arrived at the richly descriptive "WTF SCIENTOLOGY MOMENT" idiom that Scientology idiocy has truly earned and deserves.

GO TO ROLLING STONE LINK

Perhaps even more creepily compelling is the last sentence of that section, which reserves a space for the Church of Scientology to respond to the accusations. As expected, the cult's Ministry of Truth obviously worked overtime to fashion an response that they had total certainty & total knowingness would make the reader ignore the insanity they just read and conclude: "Wow! Those Scientologists are sure wonderful humanitarians!" LOL.

Some highlights:
(Responding to Marty Rathbun's story about the Bohemian Rhapsody "musical chairs" incident):
"Representatives from the Church have denied that this took place."

(Responding to Jenna Miscavige Hill's story of child abuse):
"We note that recollections in Ms. Hill's book about her schooling are dramatically at odds with the recollections of 30 of her classmates. The church follows all laws with respect to children. Claims to the contrary are false."

(Responding to Amy Scobee's dark personal experience with disconnection):
"The church denies the policy exists."

(Responding to Jason Beghe's whistleblowing about the cult's fair gaming lawsuits attacks):
"The church has applied its lawful rights to defend itself through counsel".

(Responding to Tom Devocht's expose of wide scale violence and assaults by the cult leader):
"Again, the church has denied this game took place that its leaders engage in violence."

(Responding to Leah Remini's revealing the cult's ritualistic abuse, lying and psychological terrorism):​
"...the Church invoked its First Amendment right to respond to her false claims with the truth."



SCIENTOLOGY: The cult leaders indignantly proclaim they don't do any of the horrific abuses that 99% of Scientologists claim they do. It's 99% because 99% of Scientologists blow. Because of the horrific abuses. Thereafter, Scientology expects everyone to ignore the 99% because they left Scientology (i.e. "apostates", "blown", et al). This is wide-eyed, fanatical Scientology logic at its best--to wit, trying to get you to believe that although the tech works 100% of the time, 99% of the time people run away and criticize Scientology because.......................because they are no longer Scientologists. And, naturally if 99% of the customers left, it's because 99% of the customers are evil liars who won't tell the truth that Scientology works and they really had huge wins--and they blew in spite of their huge wins, in order to try to destroy Scientology. Because.......well never mind "because", these people are just evil, trust us!


This Rolling Stone article was very good but they omitted a key defector I believe should have been included in the article:

L. Ron Hubbard

hubbarddirector.jpg





Who He Is: The founder of Scientology, the writer of Battlefield Earth, and Great Grandfather of Jamie DeWolf.

Cause for Defection: Departed in 1986, claiming his body was an impediment to further research and headed elsewhere in the universe.
(however there are rumors that he actually faked his death and is hanging out with Elvis in an undisclosed location)

Most WTF Scientology Moments: Too many to choose from. See the Stupid Thread on Ex Scientologist Message Board.
 
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JustSheila

Crusader
That Rolling Stones article is terrific! :happydance:

This line gave me the giggles:

The Scientology magazine Freedom calls Rathbun a professional anti-Scientologist

:hysterical:

And after all of Marty's blogs against anti-Scientologists, too. :laugh:
 

HelluvaHoax!

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Cross-Posted from another thread.


Edinburgh City Council decide Scientology is "not a suitable partner" to be allowed to move into historic building:

http://www.heraldscotland.com/news/1...rench_Embassy/


OMG! Scientology elite OTs failed to get the famous historical building they wanted in Edinburgh Scotland!

OTs failed? HolyHell! I didn't know that was even possible!



5951089




This story must be some kind of misprint or something. . .

Because if Scientology wanted that magnificent historical building for an Ideal Org, certainly they would have not lost out to wogs.

I mean--all the paranormally powered OTs around the world making it go right with tone 40 intention and postulates could never be defeated by the counter-intention of some lowly untrained/unaudited DBs!

It's times like these when Scientology really misses the Commodore. He would have jumped all over this and found the why--and handled it! Probably by issuing a policy about psych plants within the COS, putting a head on a pike, issuing declares, overboarding saboteurs, chainlockering rock-slammers and discovering a spectacular new mandatory auditing action for all OTs called the "Clear Intention Rundown" that handles the wholetrack reason beings' postulates fail to work 100% of the time.

Naturally, in addition to sending out massive numbers of traveling registrars on a worldwide tour to ensure that everyone get this "missing step on the Bridge" handled, they would also begin an unprecedented fundraising drive for donations to acquire a very special building in a very special place to deliver the Clear Intention Rundown. Because it can only be standardly delivered in a distraction-free, totally safe space. Just like OT III requires a safe room at an Advanced Org, the "L's" require a Flag safe space, SuperPower requires a safe 200 million dollar building in Clearwater and OT VIII requires a safe 441 foot ship (Freewinds).

Ron would have also ensured that all Scientologists were fully briefed and r-factored that they should move up the Bridge and "uplines" to one of those super-safe-spaces as soon as possible. But in the meantime, they should all remain on lines and get auditing and training at their local unsafe Ideal Org.
 

hummingbird

Patron with Honors
From article:
Instead the French Consulate has taken out a 125 year lease on the building and its halls will be used a cultural centre.
Woo-hoooo!!!! Vive la France!!!

PS: HH, you kill me. :roflmao:
 

guanoloco

As-Wased
.

Cross-Posted from another thread.





OMG! Scientology elite OTs failed to get the famous historical building they wanted in Edinburgh Scotland!

OTs failed? HolyHell! I didn't know that was even possible!



5951089




This story must be some kind of misprint or something. . .

Because if Scientology wanted that magnificent historical building for an Ideal Org, certainly they would have not lost out to wogs.

I mean--all the paranormally powered OTs around the world making it go right with tone 40 intention and postulates could never be defeated by the counter-intention of some lowly untrained/unaudited DBs!

It's times like these when Scientology really misses the Commodore. He would have jumped all over this and found the why--and handled it! Probably by issuing a policy about psych plants within the COS, putting a head on a pike, issuing declares, overboarding saboteurs, chainlockering rock-slammers and discovering a spectacular new mandatory auditing action for all OTs called the "Clear Intention Rundown" that handles the wholetrack reason beings' postulates fail to work 100% of the time.

Naturally, in addition to sending out massive numbers of traveling registrars on a worldwide tour to ensure that everyone get this "missing step on the Bridge" handled, they would also begin an unprecedented fundraising drive for donations to acquire a very special building in a very special place to deliver the Clear Intention Rundown. Because it can only be standardly delivered in a distraction-free, totally safe space. Just like OT III requires a safe room at an Advanced Org, the "L's" require a Flag safe space, SuperPower requires a safe 200 million dollar building in Clearwater and OT VIII requires a safe 441 foot ship (Freewinds).

Ron would have also ensured that all Scientologists were fully briefed and r-factored that they should move up the Bridge and "uplines" to one of those super-safe-spaces as soon as possible. But in the meantime, they should all remain on lines and get auditing and training at their local unsafe Ideal Org.

I think Ron would've obfuscated the procurement of said building by having some entity called "The Society for Cultural Advancement" or something purchase the building all behind the backs of the unsuspecting dupes.

If any Scienstupidests still think Ron devised the tech for them as an honest endeavor they should study up on how Ron bought Saint Hill, Fort Harrison, his ranches, his boats and the various other things he did...like the mail fraud escapade of the United Scientists of the World or whatever that up and up honest enterprise was.
 
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HelluvaHoax!

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Cross-Posted from another vintage thread (LieTech) comes today's nomination for STUPID STABLE DATUMS:

-----



"An unexamined life is not worth living." - Socrates

Taking scandalous liberties to update Socrates as relates to Scn, we arrive at:

"An unexamined tech is not worth following." - SocraTech

Which brings us to that gem of 'self-evident-truth' by Scientology's founder...

"The public knows us by our MEST" - Hubbard

That's the policy where Hubbard guarantees the org's income will increase by 500% if the org's upstat facade was made more convincing--leading the public to conclude that: "WOW, THEY REALLY ARE TOTAL CAUSE!"

Is it true? I never really examined it as a Scientologist--under the assumption that it seemed like common sense. Well, everything that happens in life happens in the MEST universe, right? So, the "public" would only "know" what they perceived in the MEST universe, right? LOL.

A minor part of it actually is common sense. If ya wanna sell your house or car, it's probably a good idea to clean it up and make it look decent. Okay, fair enough.

But, does that have anything to do with selling/delivering CLEAR, OT and Total Freedom? No.

In Scientological terms, the public knows us by our product's benefits.

Not subjectively ephemeral fluff like "my space feels calm"--because people get upset paying $500,000 or more for space that is not as calm as the space they had BEFORE they spent a half-million dollars.

Virtually everyone that ever got in Scientology (over it's first 50 years) walked into a mediocre looking mission or org and didn't give a damn--because they were excited to go Clear, just like the book DMSMH promised.

The public didn't get Clear. So Ron's solution was to create a prettier cereal box around the same old Frosted Flakies--it's called marketing.

If the public knows a religion by its MEST then why are there 1.6 billion Muslims who worship most often in makeshift mest consisting only of a simple old tattered prayer rug thrown down on the dusty desert ground?

What about the vast numbers of Christians who live and worship in poverty or sub-poverty conditions who read their bibles and pray with or without an magnificent Gothic cathedral nearby?

It's a lie. The public does not know Scientology by its MEST.

Oh, and here's another big lie hidden in that little piece of scripture. It's the word "our" as in "our mest".

Since when did anyone own any Mest in Church of Scientology besides Ron and his successors?

It's not "our mest" its Ron's or Dave's mest.

Tricky way to get people to give money--to make them believe they are buying something they will own a piece of.

Silly wogs call it fraud.
 
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HelluvaHoax!

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On that same subject of "The public knows us by our MEST", Hubbard claims that better MEST is a money-multiplier that is guaranteed to expand any org's GROSS INCOME by 500%. Pretty spiritual, right? LOL

Church of Hoaxology scholars have invested decades to study Hubbard's original scripture in order to provide a more accurate translation:


THE PUBLIC KNOWS US BY OUR LIES.

WE'D RATHER TRICK THEM--TO KNOW US BY OUR MEST.

WHEN THE PUBLIC FIGURES ANY OF THIS OUT,
THEY JUST DON"T WANT TO KNOW US AT ALL.



 
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JustSheila

Crusader
:thumbsup: Brilliant, HH! :clap: :clap: :clap:

"An unexemined tech is not worth following." Love it.

No actual research, no scientific method, no peer reviews before implementation, no correcting it according to peer reviews, no scrapping it when peers debunked the basis of Dianetics, but instead, making it into a religion for "believers."

And the MEST part of your post is spot on!

It's a red herring, a bait and switch con to make it appear that scientology cares about its public by providing nice things, but those glitzy expensive buildings and renovations only demonstrate what you might have once owned but gave away instead. It has nothing to do with what you bought - a promise of abilities and a better world that scientology could never deliver.

Scientology is like the beautifully presented sushi dinner that turns out to be poison blowfish, or a fancy box of chocolates that when you open it, turns out to be just chocolate covered cockroaches.
 

HelluvaHoax!

Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on
.

:thumbsup: Brilliant, HH! :clap: :clap: :clap:

"An unexemined tech is not worth following." Love it.

No actual research, no scientific method, no peer reviews before implementation, no correcting it according to peer reviews, no scrapping it when peers debunked the basis of Dianetics, but instead, making it into a religion for "believers."

And the MEST part of your post is spot on!

It's a red herring, a bait and switch con to make it appear that scientology cares about its public by providing nice things, but those glitzy expensive buildings and renovations only demonstrate what you might have once owned but gave away instead. It has nothing to do with what you bought - a promise of abilities and a better world that scientology could never deliver.

Scientology is like the beautifully presented sushi dinner that turns out to be poison blowfish, or a fancy box of chocolates that when you open it, turns out to be just chocolate covered cockroaches.


Perfect!

All things related to Scientology seem to eventually intersect and culminate in that very "red herring" and "bait & switch con" that you captured so well.

Ergo, the core MoneyMakingMisdirection Tech of Scientology has always been, and remains:


SELL BIG LIES[SUP]*[/SUP]

WHEN BIG LIES ARE NO LONGER SELLING OR ARE DEBUNKED--

CREATE AND SELL BIGGER LIES




EXAMPLE:

1950: Go Clear with Dianetics and you will forever be blissfully successful, healthy & happy!

1967: Forget about Dianetics--if you went Clear you are totally screwed unless you do OT III

.





[SUP]*[/SUP] BIG LIES
 

HelluvaHoax!

Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on
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BEFORE
INT MANAGEMENT EXECUTIVES WERE TRAINED & AUDITED
AND THEIR CASE WAS FULLY HANDLED


ae0ef930-6870-421b-b0a2-89c3d8d37b5d_zpselso2uz7.jpg







AFTER INT MANAGEMENT EXECUTIVES WERE TRAINED & AUDITED
AND THEIR CASE WAS FULLY HANDLED.

xxx%20we%20are%20the%20ias%20xxx_zpsczq1szza.jpeg
 

Gizmo

Rabble Rouser
HH, once again I had to go get some Windex to clean my 'puter screen.

At least I've learned to go pee before reading any of your posts.

Even a cloudy day can be brightened by the wit of your posts here on ESMB.

Please keep up your brilliant work !
 

Free Being Me

Crusader
.




Perfect!

All things related to Scientology seem to eventually intersect and culminate in that very "red herring" and "bait & switch con" that you captured so well.

Ergo, the core MoneyMakingMisdirection Tech of Scientology has always been, and remains:


SELL BIG LIES[SUP]*[/SUP]

WHEN BIG LIES ARE NO LONGER SELLING OR ARE DEBUNKED--

CREATE AND SELL BIGGER LIES




EXAMPLE:

1950: Go Clear with Dianetics and you will forever be blissfully successful, healthy & happy!

1967: Forget about Dianetics--if you went Clear you are totally screwed unless you do OT III

.





[SUP]*[/SUP] BIG LIES
Elcon and his $cientology is like being sold the Brooklyn Bridge with many an empty promise over and over and over again. Repetitive rip-off redundancy.
 
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Karen#1

Gold Meritorious Patron
Elcon and his $cientology is like being sold the Brooklyn Bridge with many an empty promise over and over and over again. Repetitive rip-off redundancy.

Free Being Me and other ESMBers. I have said this before and I will say it again. Send me mega bucks via Paypal and I will send you a brick of London Bridge, older and more medieval than Brooklyn Bridge. Also, a complimentary brick of Buckingham Palace autographed and inscribed by King Richard III. Free shipping via FEDEX.
 

Free Being Me

Crusader
Free Being Me and other ESMBers. I have said this before and I will say it again. Send me mega bucks via Paypal and I will send you a brick of London Bridge, older and more medieval than Brooklyn Bridge. Also, a complimentary brick of Buckingham Palace autographed and inscribed by King Richard III. Free shipping via FEDEX.
:hysterical:

Sending a pm with my paypal info now. :woohoo:
 

Operating DB

Truman Show Dropout
...




BEFORE
INT MANAGEMENT EXECUTIVES WERE TRAINED & AUDITED
AND THEIR CASE WAS FULLY HANDLED


ae0ef930-6870-421b-b0a2-89c3d8d37b5d_zpselso2uz7.jpg







AFTER INT MANAGEMENT EXECUTIVES WERE TRAINED & AUDITED
AND THEIR CASE WAS FULLY HANDLED.

xxx%20we%20are%20the%20ias%20xxx_zpsczq1szza.jpeg

In the Cluster of the Board picture I'm amused by how the head sizes range from undersized to over sized. Sort of creepy. Well, anything to do with Miscavige is creepy whether it's a small or large head.
 

Out/Int

Patron with Honors
:thumbsup: Brilliant, HH! :clap: :clap: :clap:

"An unexemined tech is not worth following." Love it.

No actual research, no scientific method, no peer reviews before implementation, no correcting it according to peer reviews, no scrapping it when peers debunked the basis of Dianetics, but instead, making it into a religion for "believers."

And the MEST part of your post is spot on!

It's a red herring, a bait and switch con to make it appear that scientology cares about its public by providing nice things, but those glitzy expensive buildings and renovations only demonstrate what you might have once owned but gave away instead. It has nothing to do with what you bought - a promise of abilities and a better world that scientology could never deliver.

Scientology is like the beautifully presented sushi dinner that turns out to be poison blowfish, or a fancy box of chocolates that when you open it, turns out to be just chocolate covered cockroaches.

OMG - you guys are spot on.

Scientology is A FRICKING CASINO FOR SPIRITUAL SALVATION -

PT Barnham's circus...truly smoke and mirrors and a DOG AND PONY SHOW.

Scientology - the ultimate casino for the soul - where the HOUSE ALWAYS WINS!
 
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