Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology - PART 3

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HelluvaHoax!

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Top 100 Stupid EERIE Moments in Scientology

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In the Cluster of the Board picture I'm amused by how the head sizes range from undersized to over sized. Sort of creepy. Well, anything to do with Miscavige is creepy whether it's a small or large head.


:hysterical: Yes! Absolutely creepy!

They were intentionally made all different sizes to lend a sort of uber-reality to it. LOL

But, you're right! It ended up with another effect--known as the "Uncanny Valley"--a very interesting phenomena in the field of HUMAN REPLICAs.

Scientology runs into that uncanny weirdness a lot because they are always trying to replicate homo sapiens in appearance and manner in order to appear normal to humans so they can sell them shit.



Uncanny valley
From Wikipedia

In aesthetics, the uncanny valley is the hypothesis that human replicas that appear almost, but not exactly, like real human beings elicit feelings of eeriness and revulsion among some observers.[SUP][2][/SUP]Valley denotes a dip in the human observer's affinity for the replica, a relation that otherwise increases with the replica's human likeness.[SUP][3][/SUP] Examples can be found in robotics, 3D computer animations, and life-like dolls among others.


 

HelluvaHoax!

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Top 100 Stupid "BRAINLESS" Moments in Scientology

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Fellow ESMB poster Free Being Me is awesome. On another thread I was just saying that for YEARS I have always dreamed of one day finding a certain little film that is arguably Hubbard's most buffoonishly ridiculous marketing fail.

And he found it! LOL

I believe, originally, the following footage was part of a long-form promotional movie (shown in orgs) that Hubbard wrote, directed and produced in which he humbly explained why Scientology was not only the most brilliant thing in the entire universe--it was the ONLY thing that could help "mankind".

Scientology was apparently so enamored with the sheer stupidity of a certain "psych" moment of the FILM, it was lifted and re-purposed in the following TELEVISION COMMERCIAL!

Before watching, be sure to reflect for at least one nano-second that Hubbard and Scientologists thought this Corny-Crazy-Cringey-Culty-Creepy stuff was supposed to make you love and desire Scientology enough to drop what you are doing, go right into the org and give them all your money for the rest of your life.


[video=youtube;dftaP5eLD0o]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dftaP5eLD0o&ab_channel=NickChandler[/video]​
 

Operating DB

Truman Show Dropout
Re: Top 100 Stupid "BRAINLESS" Moments in Scientology

..

Fellow ESMB poster Free Being Me is awesome. On another thread I was just saying that for YEARS I have always dreamed of one day finding a certain little film that is arguably Hubbard's most buffoonishly ridiculous marketing fail.

And he found it! LOL

I believe, originally, the following footage was part of a long-form promotional movie (shown in orgs) that Hubbard wrote, directed and produced in which he humbly explained why Scientology was not only the most brilliant thing in the entire universe--it was the ONLY thing that could help "mankind".

Scientology was apparently so enamored with the sheer stupidity of a certain "psych" moment of the FILM, it was lifted and re-purposed in the following TELEVISION COMMERCIAL!

Before watching, be sure to reflect for at least one nano-second that Hubbard and Scientologists thought this Corny-Crazy-Cringey-Culty-Creepy stuff was supposed to make you love and desire Scientology enough to drop what you are doing, go right into the org and give them all your money for the rest of your life.


[video=youtube;dftaP5eLD0o]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dftaP5eLD0o&ab_channel=NickChandler[/video]​

Are those brainwashed scientologists bowing down to the mad scientist, i.e. lronhubbard?
 

guanoloco

As-Wased
I'm noticing a lot of "creepy" showing up on this thread.

That's because this is the Stupid thread and if it's not Freaky, Scary, Creepy then it's not Stupid and if it's not Stupid then it's not Scientoxity!

Hu666ard is the first, best, most, freakiest, scariest, creepiest, stupidest Source evaaaaaaah!

HIP! HIP!
 

HelluvaHoax!

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I'm noticing a lot of "creepy" showing up on this thread.

That's because this is the Stupid thread and if it's not Freaky, Scary, Creepy then it's not Stupid and if it's not Stupid then it's not Scientoxity!

Hu666ard is the first, best, most, freakiest, scariest, creepiest, stupidest Source evaaaaaaah!

HIP! HIP!


LOL

Possible new motto for the COS:

If it's not creepy...
Find your word.



That reminds me. Living within the world of Scientology, the phrase Find your Word is so preposterously prevalent that--through sheer repetitive volume--it becomes invisible!

That explains how--after 6 years, 9000 Posts and over 1 Million views, it managed to escape being noticed & nominated onto the Stupid Thread. LOL.

Well, let's make it official. By the power vested in me as an ordained minister of the Church of Hoaxology, I hereby nominate Find Your Word as one of the stupidest clown commands in Scientology.

If anyone doesn't think that it's mega-cringey for cult members to be commanding each other all day, every single day, I'll repeat the clownish command: Find your Word![SUP]*[/SUP]


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[SUP]*[/SUP] Hey, that just unearthed yet another cringey corny cult cliche: I'll repeat the command. Once again, it appears axiomatic that the list of STUPID is infinite. LOL
 
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Karen#1

Gold Meritorious Patron

There are some important entries on this check to the Cult
Letters.check.png
 

guanoloco

As-Wased
LOL

Possible new motto for the COS:

If it's not creepy...
Find your word.



That reminds me. Living within the world of Scientology, the phrase Find your Word is so preposterously prevalent that--through sheer repetitive volume--it becomes invisible!

That explains how--after 6 years, 9000 Posts and over 1 Million views, it managed to escape being noticed & nominated onto the Stupid Thread. LOL.

Well, let's make it official. By the power vested in me as an ordained minister of the Church of Hoaxology, I hereby nominate Find Your Word as one of the stupidest clown commands in Scientology.

If anyone doesn't think that it's mega-cringey for cult members to be commanding each other all day, every single day, I'll repeat the clownish command: Find your Word![SUP]*[/SUP]


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[SUP]*[/SUP] Hey, that just unearthed yet another cringey corny cult cliche: I'll repeat the command. Once again, it appears axiomatic that the list of STUPID is infinite. LOL

Reminds me of another batshit crazy cult mantra..."check your privelage"...

OK...derail over...START!
 

tesseract

Patron with Horrors
Re: Top 100 Stupid "BRAINLESS" Moments in Scientology

Scientology was apparently so enamored with the sheer stupidity of a certain "psych" moment of the FILM, it was lifted and re-purposed in the following TELEVISION COMMERCIAL!

Before watching, be sure to reflect for at least one nano-second that Hubbard and Scientologists thought this Corny-Crazy-Cringey-Culty-Creepy stuff was supposed to make you love and desire Scientology enough to drop what you are doing, go right into the org and give them all your money for the rest of your life.


[video=youtube;dftaP5eLD0o]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dftaP5eLD0o&ab_channel=NickChandler[/video]​

Possible new motto for the COS:

If it's not creepy...
Find your word.


How about creepy-cringe-ish-cataclysmic. :p
 

tesseract

Patron with Horrors
EZPickens said:
on February 6, 2017 at 5:32 pm
Scientology's Files Fixation

Perhaps the best thing you could do is get your information into Central Files.

1. It costs them time money and effort to maintain.
2. They by policy can’t streamline the process.

Therefore if you truly wish to see them collapse, feed them more information.

You guys shouldn’t be trying to get off of the list, you should be recruiting every person possible to get into the files and make the system completely overloaded.

Dude has got a point...

:lol:
 

HelluvaHoax!

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Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

..

Cross-posted from another thread.

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--snipped--

If what scn touted was REAL as in REAL then there would be lines around the block at every org in the world.


There is a very simple way that the COS could create "lines around the block at every org in the world".

By delivering what they promised (refunds).



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HelluvaHoax!

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Cross-Posted from another thread:

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Elcon's cult think-speak is a cultist contrivance used to control a person, like wearing an internal straight jacket. A comparable example is Orwell's Newspeak.

One of the hardest and most beneficial things I did post-cult was purge Elcon's magical thinking lexicon from my modes of expression because it's [$cientology] meaningless gobbledygook, false significances predicated on lies and smoke & mirrors.


Excellent!

Ergo, the 3 eras of rhapsodic rhetorical rackets:

NEWspeak: Orwellian mind control.

WOOspeak: New age nonsense.

mUspeak: A Hubbardian harangue, warning of the dire perils of not "clearing" every word thoroughly--after which he proceeded for four decades to load up every credulous parishioner with an oceanic lexicon of Scientology words that had no actual physical universe meaning, correspondent or reality--rendering them unclearable.​
 

HelluvaHoax!

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Okay all you Pre-Clears and Pre-OTs! Yes, I'm talking to you, Total Freedom Seekers!

I want to give you an r-factor today. Not just any r-factor. It's actually--

A VERY SPECIAL & CONFIDENTIAL
VIP BRIEFING!!!


Forget about Clear: That's crap. It's right in the middle of the freakin' Non-Interference Zone, and Dr. Hubbard says that it's very dangerous and you are at great risk if you are Clear until you are through the Wall of Fire, OT III. Yeah, I know, DMSMH guaranteed that Clear was blissful, but no, no, no, no, no, no! You misunderstood. Ron was simply creating a metaphor, whatever that means. Hey, he was a writer, so let's not go all critical and battery just because he maybe chose the wrong adjective.

Forget about OT III: That's crap too. Yeah, maybe Ron was a little too high on the tone scale when he reported with great exhilaration that once you were though the Wall of Fire, you would be free of overwhelming BTs forever! Look, OT III doesn't even begin to get rid of BTs, you really need to do IV and V! That's the real OT stuff, I promise!

Forget about OT IV & OT V: That's also crap. Sure, Ron said it would bring you the miraculous state and powers to be "Total Cause Over Life". Hey, maybe that was Ron's EP, we all can't expect to get the same state as the freaking Founder! Get real, and get your ass onto OT VII---that's the final level that handles everything!
Hey, this is good news, you are only one step away, don't stop now!!!


Forget about OT VII: Um, that's also super-crap. Yeah, I know, I know, Ron promised euphoric eternity and didn't deliver so many times. Look, just do one more itsy bitsy OT level, OT VIII. Did you know that OT VIII is the first actual OT level that deals in positive gain? You're already decades into your bridge and more than a half-million dollars. Don't stop now buddy! I promise you--no, I guarantee you that OT VIII will be beyond your wildest dreams.

Forget about OT VIII. Look, I don't know what the problem is, but OT VIII is mega-crap too. You don't get euphoria or eternity. And you end up attesting that you don't know who you are but you are interested in finding out. I've already written up that fact that nothing happens on VIII and sent it up lines to get it handled, so no need to get out-ruds and downtone. Maybe you just need to move on up your bridge a little further, right?

Forget about OT IX and OT X: They are so crap they don't even exist. Sorry. I know it seems like the end of the Bridge is a car accident without Tom Cruise to help. But wait!!! There was a real OT level right there all this time right in the 1950's books. And it's totally free because Ron gives you the steps to attain full exteriorization and superpowers and more than you could possible ever even dream of! It's called "Theta Clear"!

Forget about Theta Clear: More funky crap that didn't work. Why did you think Ron abandoned all those miraculous processes back in the 1950s?! LOL. Trust me, I know what you need. This time Scientology really, really, really will deliver what you always wanted. Total OT. Seriously. Just please believe me.


NOW COMES THE REALLY AMAZING PART
OF THE BRIEFING THAT I PROMISED!
THIS IS THE REAL DEAL!
THIS NEXT LEVEL SOLVES EVERYTHING!




CLEARED THETA CLEAR
A thetan who is completely rehabilitated and can do everything a thetan should do, such as move MEST and control others from a distance, or create his own universe; a person who is able to create his own universe or, living in the MEST universe is able to create illusions perceivable by others at will, to handle MEST universe objects without mechanical means and to have and feel no need of bodies or even the MEST universe to keep himself and his friends interested in existence.
— L. Ron Hubbard, Scientology 8-8008








SPECIAL REQUEST TO ALL CLEARED-THETA-CLEARS: Anyone who has attained this amazing level--we'd love to hear from you about your wins and OT powers and miracles. If you have videotape of you doing levitation or other mind blowing junk, or whatever, please post it!!!
 

ThetanExterior

Gold Meritorious Patron
Hubbard had a Hidden Data Line regarding his own case level:

Blowhard Clear: A person who is cleared of the necessity to tell the truth and is able to lie, cheat and self-aggrandize at will.
 

HelluvaHoax!

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Hubbard had a Hidden Data Line regarding his own case level:

Blowhard Clear: A person who is cleared of the necessity to tell the truth and is able to lie, cheat and self-aggrandize at will.


:hysterical::hysterical:

You may have founded a new lexicological cottage industry!

Here's another. . .

Cleared Clear - noun: 1. abbv. C[SUP]c[/SUP]. . 2. A person who has successfully cleared any reactive interest, desire and/or belief in the non-existent state of clear. . 3. A stably blown Scientologist.



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Elronius of Marcabia

Silver Meritorious Patron
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:hysterical::hysterical:

You may have founded a new lexicological cottage industry!

Here's another. . .
Cleared Clear - noun: 1. abbv. C[SUP]c[/SUP]. . 2. A person who has successfully cleared any reactive interest, desire and/or belief in the non-existent state of clear. . 3. A stably blown Scientologist.





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4. The certainty that Hubbard was full of horseshit:biggrin:

I attest to that where's my cert ? :coolwink:
 

guanoloco

As-Wased
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Cross-Posted from another thread:

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Excellent!

Ergo, the 3 eras of rhapsodic rhetorical rackets:

NEWspeak: Orwellian mind control.

WOOspeak: New age nonsense.

mUspeak: A Hubbardian harangue, warning of the dire perils of not "clearing" every word thoroughly--after which he proceeded for four decades to load up every credulous parishioner with an oceanic lexicon of Scientology words that had no actual physical universe meaning, correspondent or reality--rendering them unclearable.​

Wait! Are you saying Ron came a cropper and went up the pole appetite over tin cup and goofed the floof?
 

JustSheila

Crusader
Wait! Are you saying Ron came a cropper and went up the pole appetite over tin cup and goofed the floof?

:spitcoffee: :hysterical:

... But putting a head on a pike was like wrestling a grizzly bear because you never, ever invalidate a preclear. Cleaning up everyone's messes while he cancelled the Parents' Committee required a shore story or the entire planet and the future of every man, woman and child on it would be risked, so in a past life as Arcola, Ron invented music, but the Pilot said he was just mocking it up.
 
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