Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology - PART 3

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HelluvaHoax!

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Scientology's #1 celebrity guru lectures lower level beings about taking "total responsibility" to Clear the planet of insanity and criminality.

In fact, during a speech to all worldwide parishioners, he directly challenged them to a soul searching question as to what action they are going to personally take to "clean up this place" (earth).


tomcruisescientologybiography.jpg


"These are the times people!
Were you there?
What did you do?
I think you know I am there for you!"
-Tom Cruise


Mr. Cruise was so emotionally moved by his own humanitarian speech, he wistfully pounded on his own heart! Now THAT'S dedication to the cause!

Yet, when dozens of former high ranking Sea Org members
blew the whistle and gave public testimonials that staff were being imprisoned, tortured, psychologically terrorized and physically beaten, was Tom there for them? What did Tom do?

What an amazing opportunity for the moviestar messiah to clean up "criminality" and "insanity" right in his own church, just feet away from him!

So, Tom, what did you do?

Answer:
. Absolutely nothing.


Hyp-Hyp Hyp-ocrisy!
 
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HelluvaHoax!

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Top 100 Stupid MOVIE-STAR-MESSIAH Moments in Scientology

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MOVIESTAR MESSIAH - PART II:

So, Tom, what did you do?

Answer:
. Absolutely nothing.

HELPFUL TECH TIP FOR TOM: People being beaten is not a good time for TR-0.
 
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Out/Int

Patron with Honors
.


Scientology's #1 celebrity guru lectures lower level beings about taking "total responsibility" to Clear the planet of insanity and criminality.

In fact, during a speech to all worldwide parishioners, he directly challenged them to a soul searching question as to what action they are going to personally take to "clean up this place" (earth).


tomcruisescientologybiography.jpg


"These are the times people!
Were you there?
What did you do?
I think you know I am there for you!"
-Tom Cruise


Mr. Cruise was so emotionally moved by his own humanitarian speech, he wistfully pounded on his own heart! Now THAT'S dedication to the cause!

Yet, when dozens of former high ranking Sea Org members
blew the whistle and gave public testimonials that staff were being imprisoned, tortured, psychologically terrorized and physically beaten, was Tom there for them? What did Tom do?

What an amazing opportunity for the moviestar messiah to clean up "criminality" and "insanity" right in his own church, just feet away from him!

So, Tom, what did you do?

Answer:
. Absolutely nothing.


Hyp-Hyp Hyp-ocrisy!
Now wait a second here Helluvahoax - Not so fast - I can tell you what Tom Cruise did to help "CLEAN UP THIS PLACE"

He used Sea Org Slaves as his personal slaves who custom-ed his SUV'S (who did not own not only a vehicle of their own - but had no access to one)

He had them make a hanger at the Int base for his private jets (Sea Org Slaves never flew in a plane and will never fly)

He had Scientology put together a dating service for him and got a lot of Scientology single women all hot and bothered with high hopes of bedding the big being

He had Sea Org slaves take care of his MEST daily

The Sea Org slaves all had something to do by spying on Tom Cruise and reporting back to David Miscavige. Thank God - because if the Sea Org did not Tom Cruise to wait on like the King that he is - they would have had nothing else to do because no one is coming in

See HH - he helped
 

Jump

Operating teatime

OK that's a wrap. Dave, have those cocksucking DBs ready with some decent scotch at the Freewinds stat!



TC54x.jpg




 

Gib

Crusader
I'm chuckling reading SchwimmelPuckal post cross posted here, why is it always the ceiling:


http://www.forum.exscn.net/showthre...he-8-OT-levels&p=215685&viewfull=1#post215685

"First time I was in this dilemma with scientology was on the frimpin' Hubbard Apprentice Scientologist course in 1973..

A guy claimed that he had been exterior and 'bobbed' along the ceiling while doing TR0..

Huh!!??

I'd just done TR0 and experienced none of the kind.. In fact I wondered about that guy.. He looked like a healthy kid.. But the course Supervisor was a remarkably wonderful young woman, wearing a short skirt as was the fashion.. So what was he doing up under the ceiling bobbing along like a party balloon? - I mean, of all boring places to be exterior... Maybe he was gay? - Hmm...

Anyway.. At that time I did not voice my disbelief. It was 'bad manners' to 'invalidate' this guys 'win'.. It became rather routine to 'squelsh' my doubts this way.. Reading Hubbard cosmology, incredible sucess stories in 'Advance' and listening to my OT5 friend.. As we joked inside: 'To be a scientologist is to believe 7 impossible things before breakfast.'

So is policy in Scientology."
 

HelluvaHoax!

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According to Scientology's sacred scripture, Christians worldwide should be very proud of their religion!

"Jesus was a shade above the state of Clear."

- L. Ron Hubbard

WOW! Jesus must have attained OT 1! Incredible!

One wonders why Jesus stalled out at that point on his Bridge? I've narrowed it down to two (2) possibilities:

* This all happened in the year zero--before Ron discovered Routing Forms. Thus, after they announced that Jesus had attained OT 1, everyone would have clapped and then he would have just walked away without being sent to the reg.

* The other possibility is Jesus' awareness was raised so high on attaining OT 1 that he realized Ron was right, that he himself didn't really exist[SUP]1[/SUP] and the only reason people thought he was real was because they were severely implanted. The cognition that he didn't even exist kind of majorly screwed up his case, so it seems likely that Jesus stopped coming into the org and going to events at that point.​




[SUP]1[/SUP] Hubbard states in the Volunteer Minister's Handbook that believing in Jesus results in slavery: "Man is basically good, but he could not attain expression of this until now. Nobody but the individual could die for his own sins – to arrange things otherwise was to keep man in chains." [SUP][4] [/SUP]Elsewhere Hubbard claimed that all of Christianity was a cruel lie that originated in wholetrack implants, stating: "The man on the cross. There was no Christ! The Roman Catholic Church, through watching the dramatizations of people picked up some little fragments of R6."[SUP][9][/SUP]
 

HelluvaHoax!

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Cross-Posted from another thread:

I think the main problem is that Hubbard didn't know what he was talking about.

Five years after Dianetics came out he published Dianetics 55 in which he says the state of Clear as discussed in Dianetics is now known as the state of Thetan Exterior in Scientology.

Then in 1964 he came out with the Book Of Case Remedies in which he says the state of Clear is simply "a gradient up to Homo Novis" but beyond that is the state of OT. He just kept changing it because he was full of BS.

People who knew him have said he always wanted to experience being exterior but he never achieved it. So how come he used to talk about it as though he was an expert? Because he was a blowhard.


Precisely!

What was true of Hubbard was/is true of all Scientologists. To wit, they can explain the state of "exterior" (and the rest of OT miracles) in great scientific detail. They can give courses and seminars and workshops about it. They can pass star rate checkouts on it. They can use paperclips and batteries to demonstrate how it works. They can have floating needles on the subject. They can pass clay demos on it. They can attest to having attained exterior. In all these things, Scientologists can demonstrate their mastery of exterior. They just can DO it.



FREE BONUS ADDENDUM: At no additional cost to readers, I will mention that the definition of "Clear" is an unqualified freak show where nobody has any idea of the definition of the word "clear" (ref: "Hubbard Law of 10"). Not only was it defined (in the late 1950s, described above as synonymous to "Thetan Exterior")--but decades later Hubbard returned to that carnival-sideshow pitch with OT V, OT VI and OT VII. In the "NOTS" materials, Hubbard explicitly stated that when the BT cognites "I'm me!" and blows, they have simultaneously achieved the state of EXTERIOR and CLEAR.

By contrast, when a Scientologist cognites "I'm me!" and blows, it is standard tech to send them a freeloader bill.
 
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ILove2Lurk

Lisbeth Salander
.". . . they have simultaneously achieved the state of EXTERIOR and CLEAR."
Ergo, since they are "leaving" all alone, that is, as a singular being with no
attachments themselves, they won't ever have to do NOTS on themselves
down the line either.

They get a free ride all the way, while the loyal pre-OT suffers through more
and more of the wild expense and hassles at Flag. The ultimate screw job.

Correct me if I'm wrong.

:hmm:
 
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HelluvaHoax!

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Ergo, since they are "leaving" all alone, that is, as a singular being with no
attachments themselves, they won't ever have to do NOTS on themselves
down the line either.

They get a free ride all the way, while the Loyal pre-OT suffers through more
and more of the wild expense and hassles at Flag. The ultimate screw job.

Correct me if I'm wrong.

:hmm:


You are correct!

When the Commodore discovered the Xenu incident from 75 million years ago, he realized that Clears (being in the "NON-INTERFERENCE Zone") could no longer be brilliant, vibrantly healthy & joyous--unless they continued their journey through the Wall of Fire with an advanced spiritual minister & guide called a registrar.

During that period Dr. Hubbard also did extensive research on BTs--whom he determined were were likewise in the Non-Interference Zone. However, because they had no cash or credit cards, Ron ordered BTs to scram and instructed registrars to NOT INTERFERE with them.
 

HelluvaHoax!

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Cross-Posted from another thread:

----


Since I got out of scio and got a degree, I require solid proof of anything anyone says is 'extraordinary'. I learned what proof is and how hard it is to prove an hypothesis. I learned how to prove that the volume of sphere is 4/3*pi*r cubed.

History is littered with con-man who have fooled countless people...including myself...but never again. I taught my child and will teach my grandchildren how never to be conned by anyone. The one thing I can teach anyone to do in order to detect a con-man (or woman) is to always ask the question "How do they know that?". I told my child to think about that question when she was invited to go to a church by a friend. She went once and then never went back again and since had developed a healthy skepticism about all things spiritual.


Outstanding! That question represents the essence of the advanced evolutionary survival skill known as CRITICAL THINKING.

While we are on that subject.....

To Wogs, "Critical Thinking" is an ability to be developed, embraced and cherished.

To Scientologists, "Critical Thinking" is an aberration to be handled and erased by pulling withholds.
 

HelluvaHoax!

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Top 100 Stupid IDEAL ORGS in Scientology

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I finally figured it out.

Why gullible Scientologists continue to dedicate their life savings (and even go bankrupt!) donating to the empty buildings known as IDEAL ORGS.

And why Scientology donors look at the empty lobbies, empty auditing rooms and empty course rooms and nonetheless continue having huge wins.

REASON: Because they are not donating to Ideal Orgs. They are donating to IDEA ORGS. They are in love with the IDEA that the orgs are crowded and wildly successful.

Because it's just an idea, the orgs don't actually have to have any students or PCs in them in order to get a win. They only have to have the IDEA that it's happening and they get their big win.

This is pretty much how all of auditing, Clear and OT levels works too.
 

HelluvaHoax!

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Cross-posted from another thread discussing "What is the macroscopic idea of Scientology?"

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Originally Posted by bigdix
What is the overall theory of scientology?


Hubbard's overall theory is that:

You are a GOD!!!

But you are a stupid GOD that f*cked yourself up trillions of years ago--thus you lost all your memory and superpowers.

Now you are a DEGRADED BEING that can't do anything.

But, wait! You actually can finally do one thing right to return back to your glorious home (universe). You can go away on a cosmic scavenger hunt--and if you successfully bring [STRIKE]The Wizard[/STRIKE] Ron back [STRIKE]the witches broom[/STRIKE] $500,000, then you will be a God again.

For your $500,000, you receive a bona fide Magic Lamp that you can rub an infinite number of times and immediately receive your every single [STRIKE]wish[/STRIKE] postulate.

Whoa! Know ye that the magic lamp is so magical that it is invisible!

And if you ever mention that the Magic Lamp doesn't work or that it might not even exist, you will be viciously attacked and destroyed by Ron's fanatics--in order to save mankind and evil beings like you along with it.

Because, really you weren't a GOD all along. You were actually the opposite of a GOD, an SP.

But the good news is the tech worked and that we identified and declared another SP (you) that only wanted to sabotage Ron's Magic Lamp project throughout the universe.
 
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HelluvaHoax!

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Top 100 Stupid PARADOXES in Scientology

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Scientology Paradox #731: "THE PC PARADOX"

Description: The "scientifically" spiritual therapy ("auditing") in Scientology is provided to the patient (Pre-Clear or "PC") in order to achieve "Total Freedom" in "exchange" for a modest minimal "donation" of $500,000.

Outcome: The more the PC progresses towards "Total Freedom" the more the policies, ethics and tech aggressively mandates ever-greater restrictions on their activities and freedom. Thus, whilst achieving miraculously unprecedented levels of "freedom", the PC's permission to use such "freedom" is inversely reduced.

Hence, by way of example, a "total cause" OT VIII (e.g. a middle aged adult needing "permission" in writing by an approved "CSW" from a teen-aged staff member in order to take a day off course--even if due to a business/family emergency, death or parental funeral) does not even have the "freedom" that they once possessed (decades earlier) the day before they first walked into a Scientology center.

Commentary: The "freedom" of Scientology can be likened to the freedom afforded by an anaconda allowing their captured prey to breathe. If challenged on this matter, the boa constrictor would have their lawyer-spokesperson hold a press conference to confidently state that the Church of Snakeology has NO WRITTEN POLICIES WHATSOEVER that even mention the lungs or breathing. When aggressive journalists yell followup questions (noting that snakes don't have ANY written policies to begin with) the spokesperson simply ignores them and launches into a vitriolic tirade against wholetrack snake psychiatrists.

Yes, Scientology is that absurd.




.
 
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Jump

Operating teatime

Another lucid and incisive write up HH.

I knew it would be good. It wasn't lost that Unit 731 is the infamous wartime human experiment unit of Korea. Genius.

 

Type4_PTS

Diamond Invictus SP

Another lucid and incisive write up HH.

I knew it would be good. It wasn't lost that Unit 731 is the infamous wartime human experiment unit of Korea. Genius.


It's kind of ironic isn't it that one loses more and more of their freedom on the path to "total freedom".

And also you get rid of all your barriers to communication with Grade 0 on the "bridge", and master the tech of communication on Pro TR's, but you are severely restricted about the subjects you're allowed to communicate about and who you're allowed to communicate with. :melodramatic:

It's a relief that Ron was "mankind's greatest friend". I'd hate to see how he'd of been if he was our enemy. :omg:
 

Jump

Operating teatime
It's kind of ironic isn't it that one loses more and more of their freedom on the path to "total freedom".

And also you get rid of all your barriers to communication with Grade 0 on the "bridge", and master the tech of communication on Pro TR's, but you are severely restricted about the subjects you're allowed to communicate about and who you're allowed to communicate with. :melodramatic:

It's a relief that Ron was "mankind's greatest friend". I'd hate to see how he'd of been if he was our enemy. :omg:


And such a relief to find this greatest* friend* who was the first* to tape the path* out of this prison* toward total* freedom*.


* Yeah, right, as if ..
 

Type4_PTS

Diamond Invictus SP
And such a relief to find this greatest* friend* who was the first* to tape the path* out of this prison* toward total* freedom*.


* Yeah, right, as if ..


Lets check on Marc Yager's progress on the "bridge to total freedom". Mat Pesch posted this at the Bunker earlier today:

Mat Pesch 10 hours ago
Probably no one has endured more physical and mental abuse from Miscavige than Marc Yager. He started on the Apollo as a child, as a Sea Org member. Forced by Miscavige to divorce his wife (who reportedly had 3 abortions). Made to build a cage for himself in the area known as "the swamp" near the Old Gilman House. He lived in the cage by himself for months. As the Security Chief at the time (Gary Moorehead) has reported, Miscavige regularly visited Marc, made him stand at attention and then punched him in the stomach. There are many, many, many eye witness accounts of Miscavige beating up Marc and doing things to him to break him down mentally. Miscavige even had Marc's head saved at a large meeting of other execs. Marc also spent years in "The Hole". This guy has been brain washed for decades in a way that would make North Korea jealous. Now he is Miscavige's trained monkey used to represent the reputation of Scientology is Isreal. Marc is a caring, mild, intelligent person. His story is sad to the extreme. It is basically a story of a young boy being a victim of human trafficking at the hands of a vicious cult.
 
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