Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology - PART 3

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HelluvaHoax!

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Top 100 Stupid WTF PHOTOS in Scientology

...

The first PHOTO is actually in the mega-cringey SCIENTOLOGY HANDBOOK.

As far as the rest of the PHOTOS--I haven't yet been able to verify their authenticity because my meter is still charging. . .


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3_zpshek78my5.jpg


4_zpsqoddmife.jpg



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6_zpsca6rdlk6.jpg
 

Leland

Crusader
Re: Top 100 Stupid WTF PHOTOS in Scientology

...

The first PHOTO is actually in the mega-cringey SCIENTOLOGY HANDBOOK.

As far as the rest of the PHOTOS--I haven't yet been able to verify their authenticity because my meter is still charging. . .


1_zpse8ireswi.jpg



2_zpsnheyj1p3.jpg


3_zpshek78my5.jpg


4_zpsqoddmife.jpg



5_zpso1uiqncu.jpg


6_zpsca6rdlk6.jpg

A wonderful post HofaH! A gem.

I do appreciate your humor and keeping things light....( sometimes ) but very poignant.

I would like to take this opportunity to say that for some here....and myself.... the Cult was after more than just my money.

They attempted to take my life, my thoughts....my mind....my feelings....and so much more.

The absolute agony that some have gone thru....including myself....and still go thru, day to day...is hard to even write about.

But it is a fact.
 

HelluvaHoax!

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Re: Top 100 Stupid WTF PHOTOS in Scientology

A wonderful post HofaH! A gem.

I do appreciate your humor and keeping things light....( sometimes ) but very poignant.

I would like to take this opportunity to say that for some here....and myself.... the Cult was after more than just my money.

They attempted to take my life, my thoughts....my mind....my feelings....and so much more.

The absolute agony that some have gone thru....including myself....and still go thru, day to day...is hard to even write about.

But it is a fact.


Thank you!

I know you speak from the heart. And there are many thousands of people across the globe who still, to this day, experience the continuing anguish and outrage of having ever been connected to the COS (Crimewave of Scientology).

All who have left the cult are forever linked in knowing the darkness that lurks within their grinning lies.

There are stories I could tell and maybe one day will. I haven't told them yet because it might turn the world of those individuals (who are still IN or NEAR Scientology) upside down. They have already sacrificed enough, we'll eventually get everyone's story when the time is right.

Meanwhile the whistleblowing, J&D party rages on for all ex-members, as the sad little cult is relegated to remodeling buildings and buffoonish events overflowing with messianic clownery--where they boast and accept medals for having saved the world.

Best Reality-Show ever, sublimely entertaining and we all have front row seats! LOL
 
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HelluvaHoax!

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Top 100 Stupid OBJECTIVES WINS in Scientology

...

OMG, another hopelessly inept photograph from The Scientology Handbook.

It's so bad I have to let readers know that the top 2 ("Touch that chair" - "Thank You") are actually real, exactly as they appear in the book.

---


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HelluvaHoax!

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..


Piers.Morgan.jpg

Piers Morgan challenges Church of Scientology after
branding followers 'sinister little weirdos' live on TV ~ link below


http://www.mirror.co.uk/tv/tv-news/piers-morgan-challenges-church-scientology-9020646



:hysterical:

Yes, another unprecedented, monumental 4th Dynamic planetary public relations win for the tech that always works!

"Come on you gutless cowards.
We think you're a bunch of sinister little weirdos!"

SCIENTOLOGY PARADOX #735: Scientology has had 66 years to demonstrate to the public and media that their tech works. The miraculous tech that is bringing about "a world without criminality, insanity and war". They have all the tools to do it--ARC triangle, Third Party Law, raising upset people on the Tone Scale and countless other technical solutions memorialized in over 10M spoken/written words of "Dr." Hubbard's scientifically religious scripture.

Furthermore , they have encyclopedic volumes of "Policy" that magnanimously mandate Scientologists to "
Always maintain friendly relations with the environment!" By all measures and means, Scientology should therefore be the 21st century's most beloved religion and humanitarian human rights movement, right?

Instead of their postulated "ideal scene", Scientology is now the single most reviled and ridiculed cult in the world. What happened to their "world without..." utopian vision. The reality on the ground is that Scientology is actively creating a world with criminality (their own "destroy utterly" black ops), a world with insanity (BigLies, Bankruptcy & Beatings, anyone?) and a world with war (vs. reporters, journalists, tv hosts, authors, media networks & conglomerates ex-scientologists, critics, psychs, whistleblowers, documentary filmmakers, celebrity apostates, newspapers, magazines, squirrels, tabloids and the diabolically insidious and vast conspiracy of evil called "the internet").

66 years to get it right. 66 years to show that any single one of their "tech tools for life" work.

Scientology could have had an infinitely better PR standing in the world if they had NEVER APPLIED ANY OF THEIR TECH EVER for the past 66 years. Then, the worst thing someone could say about them is: "Scientology, I wonder what that's all about." But no. Scientology insisted on demonstrating their entire tool bag and now--homo sapiens has learned to hate, fear, mock and/or otherwise purge any trace of Scientology from their lives.

In a paradoxically karmic sense, maybe the public despising Scientology IS a monumental 4th Dynamic Win! LOL
 

HelluvaHoax!

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...

Haven't looked at the vid yet, but it's the leaders he should be going after, not the gullible followers IMO.

Well, yes. And....no.

Let's say it's April 29th 1945, five years into an exhaustive, nightmarish World War in which over 50 million people were senselessly massacred. By a "leader" named Hitler.

Years of brutal sacrifice and bravery by Allied forces to finally land in mainland Europe (D-Day Invasion) and fight their bloody, death-filled way inch-by-inch towards Berlin where their "leader" is bunkered down.

And let's further suppose that on April 29th the Allied forces arrive at the site of the underground bunker and fight all day/night to capture it.

Now it's April 30th 1945. Hitler's hideout has been captured, but it's quickly discovered that earlier that day he killed himself. The Leader is gone.

So, then what? The massive armies and equipment arrayed across Germany/Europe are just called back? Returned to their respective countries, USA, Russia, Britain, et al?

And all the murderous SS collaborators that committed concentration camp genocide are allowed to simply turn in their weapon and uniform and say "My bad, I won't do it again"--Because they were not the "LEADER"?

How does society benefit when only the "leader" is held responsible for their complicity, support and enablement?

This is not a cry for vengeance. It is a reminder that justice is best served when it is evenly distributed. That's how, for example, Federal agencies ultimately brought down the Mafia--by targeting ALL OF THE MEMBERS. That's how they got the lower-level thugs and murderers to roll over on the bigger bosses.

That's what the FBI should have been doing all along. Getting Scientologists to rat out their comrades, with no guarantees of immunity unless they TELL EVERYTHING and nothing else is later discovered to have been withheld.

History proves this works even in Scientology's horrible past. Recall that the last time Scientology leaders went to prison was in OPERATION SNOW WHITE---and only after federal agencies brought such horrific pressure of long prison time that they were able to flip a key insider (Gerald Wolfe) that Mary Sue Hubbard, Ron Hubbard and their respective thug-posses were desperately trying to keep hidden from authorities.

Scientology's LEADER(s) are never going to tell the truth or allow themselves to face justice. They'll spend all the cults billions before they allow themselves to spend a minute behind bars. Thus, it absolutely requires the MEMBERS of such a cult to cooperate under severe threat of prison. Maybe some of those MEMBERS need to do jail time too. Who cares? Nobody is forcing them to bully, bankrupt and beat people.
 
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pineapple

Silver Meritorious Patron
Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

...
Whether this first graphic actually appeared in THE SCIENTOLOGY HANDBOOK, or not-- I have no idea. . . .it's that supremely stupid!


sh-noticethatwall_465_327_int_zpswdmcbxdf.jpg




That made me wonder if it was even possible for me to create something as stupid as that one (above). So stupid--that nobody would know if it's a joke or if it really happened in Scientology (see below):


OK_zps4euhgky2.jpg




ANSWER: Yes it happened in Scientology. Every day.

These moronic pictures from The Scientology Handbook are something I haven't seen before -- I got out in 1981 -- but they're clearly following the precedent established by The Volunteer Minister's Handbook, which I thought signaled the beginning of a significant dumbing-down of scn "literature." The first time I saw the VMH I glanced at a few of the pictures, then closed the book thinking "Oh, no!" If the photographs hadn't been touted as the work of LRH himself it wouldn't have been so bad. But this was L. Ron Hubbard's personal idea of what was aesthetically good, and it obviously sucked ... and people who should have known better were flipping out over how "great" it was ... I never looked at the VMH again. My confidence in scn took a big hit when that happened. It's one of the moments that really stand out as contributing to my eventual exit. If I had seen stuff like the above when I first walked in the door, maybe I'd never have gotten involved.

These are hilarious. I love how the guy is supposed to look like a "DB" with the scraggly goatee, hair combed down over the forehead, no shirt, drab colors, and the auditor is supposed to look more "upstat" -- in that horrible turquoise suit! :)

If Ron could've got us to go to the reg and lay down 500 grand that easy, I'm sure he'd have done it.
 

HelluvaHoax!

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Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

..
--snipped--

These moronic pictures from The Scientology Handbook are something I haven't seen before -- I got out in 1981 -- but they're clearly following the precedent established by The Volunteer Minister's Handbook, which I thought signaled the beginning of a significant dumbing-down of scn "literature." The first time I saw the VMH I glanced at a few of the pictures, then closed the book thinking "Oh, no!"


:hysterical::hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:

Yeah, there were a number of "OH NO!" clues along the way. Clues that screamed WTF JUST HAPPENED?! lol

Like--


The horrifying moment I heard
Dr. Hubbard's sexy intergalactic crooning
on "Thank You For Listening".


Or--

The cringe-inducing moment I saw pretty much ANY of
Hubbard's amateurish promo photographs. Especially the ones
that had broke-ass, semi-conscious Sea Org members draped in
various color
bedsheets; standing on a mountain, pretending to
be wholetrack religious messiahs with glued-on-fake-ass beards.



Or--


I saw Battlefield Earth. Or at least the first few minutes
of it, before I turned it off with a deep wistful
sigh and the thought: "WTF was wrong with me?!"

(that at one time I was in Scientology
and believed that Hubbard was an OT,
despite there being clues everywhere!)
lololololololololololol
 

uncover

Gold Meritorious Patron
Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

.....
These are hilarious. I love how the guy is supposed to look like a "DB" with the scraggly goatee, hair combed down over the forehead, no shirt, drab colors, and the auditor is supposed to look more "upstat" -- in that horrible turquoise suit! :)
.....
You have to understand that this picture in reality shows a Sea-Org-Feminazi-Domina domesticating her purple-poodle*-slave.

*A purple poodle (or "mangina") is a male being who serves feminism without ever questioning its validity. The purple poodle loves putting women above himself. Fear of a lack of intimacy, a craving for recognition, coupled with maniacal career ambitions drives him into hopeless opportunism. Thus, he kowtows to the very women who humiliate and domesticate him. He bows to women whenever he believes this to be advantageous and yields all normative power to them. Purple poodles even applaud when a feminist tries to illustrate the inferiority of men through absurd theories about Y-chromosomes. The poodle never questions female demands and he practices missionary zeal: "Behold, men! Become as I am!"

http://en.wikimannia.org/Purple_poodle
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=mangina

Here you can see more of those Sea-Org-Feminazi-Dominas waiting to domesticate their purple-poodle-slave - feel free to choose one to serve:

DMsRTCcrew.jpg
 

HelluvaHoax!

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Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology



They're "INSPECTOR GENERAL" representatives!

They're "INSPECTORS"!

They're "GENERALS"!

Looking at that photo, I am drifting into a daydream. Well--it's more of a fantasy actually.

A romantic evening, in front of the fire. Just me and an INSPECTOR GENERAL. First she says she wants to "get in the mood" and I say "Hell Yeah, baby!". So she puts on a kind of sensual custom mix of tunes from "Road To Freedom" and "Space Jazz". Yeah..I'm feelin' it now!

Suddenly she starts to undo her skirt--just enough to pull out a clipboard with graphs on it. Wait! Oh No! She's beating me with the clipboard, screaming about my stat trend or something. This is getting weird. . .

Now she's asking me if I want to do some "role playing"--I think we are getting back on track now. What's that? Do I have a shovel? She wants me to dig a really deep hole in the backyard so we can play "Chainlocker".

I don't know what that is, but I'm not getting a good feeling. . .
 

HelluvaHoax!

Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on
..

DAILY BRIEFING: The 2nd photo is actually in the "SCIENTOLOGY HANDBOOK". I ain't playin' wicha, fuh-real!


NORMAL DATING
Wog + Wog

5ec96533-88b8-4e1c-ab59-73b78662a4f5_zpsh6yzp1wv.jpg


LOIS
Wow, I'm so happy you called--
Of course I
remember meeting you last night at the party.
I was impressed that you took an Uber home,
we both had like
way too many beers, LOL.

JAMES
That was so much fun! I was hoping
we could see each other again. . .

LOIS
I'd love to!






SCIENTOLOGY DATING
OT + Wog (on this planet)

a26ebaa2-3a18-459f-a796-455ceaed5f2f_zpsvdhgewqo.jpg


LOIS THE OT
Wow, I'm so happy you called--
Of course I
remember meeting you last night at the party.
Hey, how could I forget, I ran that locational assist
on you for an hour before you came up to PT.

JAMES
PT? Sorry--what do you mean?

LOIS THE OT
OMG, wogs! You had so many beers, you don't
even remember the command
"Look at that wall--touch that wall"?

Helloooooooooooooooooooo!?!

JAMES
No, I remember that, I just didn't know
what you were doing. Everyone at the
party thought you were crazy drunk
so we just played along with you.

LOIS THE OT
I suppose you don't remember
when I explained the ARC Triangle to
you and we both postulated mocking up
a 2D in the future, if you get on the Bridge?

JAMES
I don't know about any of that, but I
do remember when you kept screaming
that I was in Danger and you needed
to by-pass me and call Uber. That's when
you grabbed my phone and locked yourself
in the bathroom. I was wondering if I could
get my phone back today.

LOIS THE OT
Sure, but first I want to make sure
you don't forget our agreement
that I am your FSM for doing the Purification
Rundown to handle your drug case. Do you still
have your copy of the selection slip I had you sign?

JAMES
Yeah, yeah, yeah...you get your 10%, I know...unless,
um, how did you put it? Unless "I don't give a shit
about my eternity
", right? LOL. But....any-hooo,
when can I get my phone?

LOIS THE OT
You can get it today, no problem.
But, there's just one more thing
I need to handle with you first....

JAMES
Oh, Jesus, what is it now? LOL

LOIS THE OT
I was surfing on your phone and noticed
that you have looked at suppressive
websites that are critical of Ron and Scientology.

JAMES
And????

LOIS THE OT
I just need to r-factor you that, if you ever
want to get on the Bridge and the Advanced Levels,
you need to knock off that out-ethics shit!
Especially reading stuff about Xenu which
is like--so--totally--not true! You need to swear
to me that you will never ever read about Xenu again!

JAMES
Unless I do the Bridge and
get on OT 3?

LOIS THE OT
Exactly!

JAMES
LOL, no problem!

 

lotus

stubborn rebel sheep!
Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

They're "INSPECTOR GENERAL" representatives!

They're "INSPECTORS"!

They're "GENERALS"!

Looking at that photo, I am drifting into a daydream. Well--it's more of a fantasy actually.

A romantic evening, in front of the fire. Just me and an INSPECTOR GENERAL. First she says she wants to "get in the mood" and I say "Hell Yeah, baby!". So she puts on a kind of sensual custom mix of tunes from "Road To Freedom" and "Space Jazz". Yeah..I'm feelin' it now!

Suddenly she starts to undo her skirt--just enough to pull out a clipboard with graphs on it. Wait! Oh No! She's beating me with the clipboard, screaming about my stat trend or something. This is getting weird. . .

Now she's asking me if I want to do some "role playing"--I think we are getting back on track now. What's that? Do I have a shovel? She wants me to dig a really deep hole in the backyard so we can play "Chainlocker".

I don't know what that is, but I'm not getting a good feeling. . .


:hysterical::hysterical::hysterical:


Hoaxyboy,

Yes, if she is beating you because of your ''romantic stat trend'' - I think she wants it straight up and vertical...
And she knows you can make it go right, right here, right now! :whistling:
:blush:
 

oneonewasaracecar

Gold Meritorious Patron
..

DAILY BRIEFING: The 2nd photo is actually in the "SCIENTOLOGY HANDBOOK". I ain't playin' wicha, fuh-real!


NORMAL DATING
Wog + Wog

5ec96533-88b8-4e1c-ab59-73b78662a4f5_zpsh6yzp1wv.jpg


LOIS
Wow, I'm so happy you called--
Of course I
remember meeting you last night at the party.
I was impressed that you took an Uber home,
we both had like
way too many beers, LOL.

JAMES
That was so much fun! I was hoping
we could see each other again. . .

LOIS
I'd love to!






SCIENTOLOGY DATING
OT + Wog (on this planet)

a26ebaa2-3a18-459f-a796-455ceaed5f2f_zpsvdhgewqo.jpg


LOIS THE OT
Wow, I'm so happy you called--
Of course I
remember meeting you last night at the party.
Hey, how could I forget, I ran that locational assist
on you for an hour before you came up to PT.

JAMES
PT? Sorry--what do you mean?

LOIS THE OT
OMG, wogs! You had so many beers, you don't
even remember the command
"Look at that wall--touch that wall"?

Helloooooooooooooooooooo!?!

JAMES
No, I remember that, I just didn't know
what you were doing. Everyone at the
party thought you were crazy drunk
so we just played along with you.

LOIS THE OT
I suppose you don't remember
when I explained the ARC Triangle to
you and we both postulated mocking up
a 2D in the future, if you get on the Bridge?

JAMES
I don't know about any of that, but I
do remember when you kept screaming
that I was in Danger and you needed
to by-pass me and call Uber. That's when
you grabbed my phone and locked yourself
in the bathroom. I was wondering if I could
get my phone back today.

LOIS THE OT
Sure, but first I want to make sure
you don't forget our agreement
that I am your FSM for doing the Purification
Rundown to handle your drug case. Do you still
have your copy of the selection slip I had you sign?

JAMES
Yeah, yeah, yeah...you get your 10%, I know...unless,
um, how did you put it? Unless "I don't give a shit
about my eternity
", right? LOL. But....any-hooo,
when can I get my phone?

LOIS THE OT
You can get it today, no problem.
But, there's just one more thing
I need to handle with you first....

JAMES
Oh, Jesus, what is it now? LOL

LOIS THE OT
I was surfing on your phone and noticed
that you have looked at suppressive
websites that are critical of Ron and Scientology.

JAMES
And????

LOIS THE OT
I just need to r-factor you that, if you ever
want to get on the Bridge and the Advanced Levels,
you need to knock off that out-ethics shit!
Especially reading stuff about Xenu which
is like--so--totally--not true! You need to swear
to me that you will never ever read about Xenu again!

JAMES
Unless I do the Bridge and
get on OT 3?

LOIS THE OT
Exactly!

JAMES
LOL, no problem!


That happened to me too.
 

HelluvaHoax!

Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on
.

That happened to me too.

:hysterical:

Yeah, that's one the the reasons ages ago I stopped dating Scientology girls.

The other reason I stopped is that I kept finding used batteries in the bed (ouch!). Not from sex toys--from their demo kits. (They like to apply study tech everywhere)
 

guanoloco

As-Wased
Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

..



:hysterical::hysterical::hysterical
Like--


The horrifying moment I heard
Dr. Hubbard's sexy intergalactic crooning
on "Thank You For Listening".


Or--

The cringe-inducing moment I saw pretty much ANY of
Hubbard's amateurish promo photographs. Especially the ones
that had broke-ass, semi-conscious Sea Org members draped in
various color
bedsheets; standing on a mountain, pretending to
be wholetrack religious messiahs with glued-on-fake-ass beards.



Or--


I saw Battlefield Earth. Or at least the first few minutes
of it, before I turned it off with a deep wistful
sigh and the thought: "WTF was wrong with me?!"

(that at one time I was in Scientology
and believed that Hubbard was an OT,
despite there being clues everywhere!)
lololololololololololol

Obviously you don't know what the hell you are talking about. Here's Ron in his very own words to set the matter of his singing straight.

There is nothing wrong in the sex act. Nothing any woman may say can
change your opinion. You are a master. You are as sensitive and sexy
as Pan. Lord help women when you begin to fondle them. You are master
of their bodies, master of their souls as you may consciously wish.
You have no karma to pay for these acts. You cannot now accumulate
karma for you are a master adept. Your voice is low and compelling to
them. Singing to them, for you sing like a master, destroys their will
to resist. You obey the conventions, you commit no crimes because you
need not. You can be intelligently aware of their morals and the laws
of the land and fit your campaign expertly within them.​

http://www.gerryarmstrong.org/50grand/writings/ars/ars-2000-03-11.html
 

Gizmo

Rabble Rouser
Dating in the cult & doing clay demos of what one wanted - couldn't that get pretty lewd ?

As a guy, I knew what I wanted from a gal !

Never did a clay demo of that - but I could make good pictures !

Oh, whole new area : seeing other peoples pictures now there is some fertile ground to pick !
 
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