Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology PART 4

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L. Ron Hubbard was a Humanitarian
in the same way that Charles Manson was an Environmentalist
who tirelessly worked to solve the eco-damage caused by overpopulation


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...because what self-respecting, honorable humanitarian doesn't
wear a Clear bracelet promoting others to pay him hundreds of thousands of dollars
for a miraculous but non-existent state, whilst literally giving them the finger.


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L. Ron Hubbard was a Freedom Fighter
in the same way that Xenu freed trillions of beings from
their tax liability and other MEST encumbrances

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ron-series-horticulture.jpg

L. Ron Hubbard was a Horticulturist
in the same way that Bernie Madoff
was a Whore-ticulurist
for a "greener" world


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Cross-posted from another thread. . .

TomKat said:
They are pretty pathetic about it. Once one called and asked for someone of the name of a childhood pet (that had died decades ago), which they had to have gotten from a PC folder. It did produce a reaction -- laughter.
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LOL !!

CUT TO: The Call In Unit of the local Ideal Org--



BILLY BLOWDOWN
Hello, this Billy from the Church of Scientology. Is Mr. Spot there?

EX SCN
Mr. Spot? There is nobody here by that name. You must
have dialed a wrong number, bye.

BILLY BLOWDOWN
Wait! Maybe that's not the last name. Is there
someone there named SPOT?

EX SCN
Spot? Oh, SPOTTTT!! No, Spot is not in at the moment.

BILLY BLOWDOWN
Can you kindly tell me when Spot will be back.

EXSCN
Spot didn't say exactly.

BILLY BLOWDOWN
I see. Well I need you to tell me where
I can reach Spot right now, it's very urgent!

EX SCN
I don't think that's possible. Spot is off doing a research
project, I believe he is out of cell phone range.

BILLY BLOWDOWN
Oh. Well we really need to update Spot's CF data. Can you
verify what Spot's correct mailing address currently is?

EX SCN
Yeah, you can just mail it to "SPOT care of Target II"

BILLY BLOWDOWN
Whatttttt? Did you say Target II?

EX SCN
Yup.

BILLY BLOWDOWN
Wow! But wait, that means. . .

EX SCN
Yup, that's right. Spot dropped his 5th dynamic impediment.

BILLY BLOWDOWN
What do you mean 5th Dynamic impediment?

EX
Spot is a dog. Or was a dog. He's been dead
for 32 years.

BILLY BLOWDOWN
Wow, so that means that. . .

EX SCN
Yes, that's right. Spot went to Target II with Ron.

BILLY BLOWDOWN
WOW! That's amazing! Wait....
But what does a dog do at Target II?

EX SCN
Advanced research, of course.

BILLY BLOWDOWN
Wow that is totally amazing. I never knew
a dog could do that. Scientology has so many
mindblowing OT miracles, I love being on the
bridge and feel sorry for all those deluded Wogs
who have no reality on what is really going on!


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From another thread discussing OT VIII and other notable Hubbard con games, comes this astute observation:

- - - - - -

Originally Posted by Bill
When you look at it objectively it looks like this:
-- You have an invisible "thing" that Hubbard "discovered" -- only he knows it exists and only his "tech" can "erase" it.
-- The improbable "Reactive Mind" has never been proven to exist.
-- At some point Scientology tells you that you no longer have that invisible thing. Yay!
-- Then you discover that you have tons of invisible "things" that Hubbard discovered -- only he knows they exist and only his "tech" can get rid of them.
-- These improbable "Body thetans" have never been proven to exist.
-- At some point Scientology tells you that you no longer have those invisible things. Yay!
Or to summarize even more succinctly:
Hubbard worked out how to make people pay a lot of money to "get rid of" things that don't exist.... Yay?.
- - - - -
 
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KSW KOAN: How does Scientology handle a disgruntled PC who originates: "I want all my damn money back! Because, I have wasted decades and hundreds of thousands of dollars getting auditing and trying to go Clear--and I didn't see any proof at all that I even have a damn reactive mind! As a matter of fact, I cognited that I don't even have a reactive mind and I was just imagining it the whole damn time!"


ANSWER: R-factoring the PC: "Jeez, that's wonderful, the C/S says you may now attest to Clear."

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PC PARADOX #317:

-- If a PC originates that he (himself) was totally deluded and just made up
the whole "reactive mind" thing, the PC is given a piece of paper
that Declares him Clear.

-- If a PC originates that Ron was totally deluded and just made up
the whole "reactive mind" thing, the PC is given a piece of paper
that Declares him SP.
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PC PARADOX #317:

-- If a PC originates that he (himself) was totally deluded and just made up
the whole "reactive mind" thing, the PC is given a piece of paper
that Declares him Clear.
-- If a PC originates that Ron was totally deluded and just made up
the whole "reactive mind" thing, the PC is given a piece of paper
that Declares him SP.

That post made me wonder how a Scientologist in good standing would react to reading the above.

So I asked one . .

HH
Hey Billy, you're a Clear, what do you think about that?

BILLY BLOWDOWN
I strongly disagree with your joking and degrading. A PC would
never in a trillion years be allowed to attest to Clear if they
said they just "made up" their reactive mind. That is not the EP!

HH
You mean they have to say they "mocked up" their reactive mind
instead of saying that they "made up" their reactive mind?

BILLY BLOWDOWN
Exactly!

HH
What's the difference between making up and mocking up?

BILLY BLOWDOWN
Well if a being is just "making up" something it means they are
creating it out of thin air, out of nothing--and that's degraded. But
if a being is "mocking up" something it means they are creating it
out of thin air, out of nothing
--and that's OT!

HH
Wait, that seems exactly the same.

BILLY BLOWDOWN

It only seems exactly the same because you have not erased
your reactive mind that makes you dramatize A=A. There is
a huge difference between a degraded being and a Clear.

HH
Really? Like what?

BILLY BLOWDOWN
Well for starters, a Clear has advanced abilities that a DB doesn't have!

HH
Like what what advanced ability?

BILLY BLOWDOWN
That's easy, like the advanced ability to buy and wear a Clear bracelet.


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So Dianetics is an implant. Hubbard convinces you that you have a reactive mind that you then rid yourself of it by claiming that you mocked it up.
There is a very good reason the "CLEAR COG" is kept super-confidential to all lower level and brand new Scientologists. . .

If new people coming into the org were given an r-factor on their first day that they are mocking up their own reactive minds, it would sabotage mankind's Scientology's only hope (to sell absolutely nothing by telling big-lies to big-beings for big-bucks).

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guanoloco

As-Wased
Anything that funnels money away or potentially funnels money away is criminal, suppressive and raping babies bad.

Anything that funnels money into Scientology is upstat, good and ethical...even if it rapes babies.

Please note, Farrakhan and Danny Masterson.

That's why letting the confidential OT data loose kills people with restimulation unless it's a Hollywood script or spread out over dustjackets.
 

PirateAndBum

Gold Meritorious Patron
Anything that funnels money away or potentially funnels money away is criminal, suppressive and raping babies bad.

Anything that funnels money into Scientology is upstat, good and ethical...even if it rapes babies.

Please note, Farrakhan and Danny Masterson.

That's why letting the confidential OT data loose kills people with restimulation unless it's a Hollywood script or spread out over dustjackets.
LOL, Planetary clearing by DUST JACKETS! Brilliant!
 

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So Dianetics is an implant. Hubbard convinces you that you have a reactive mind that you then rid yourself of it by claiming that you mocked it up.
FIFY (below):


So Dianetics is an implant. Hubbard makes up/mocks up the reactive mind, convinces you that you have a reactive mind that you then rid yourself of it by agreeing with Ron's claim that you mocked it up.
 

guanoloco

As-Wased
I think a perfect example of L. Ron Hubbard's character is him using a group of loyal dupes to attack an unarmed and unsuspecting woman, Paulette Cooper, while he remained hidden with intent to drive her to prison, to an insane asylum or to suicide.

Classic.
 

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cross-posted from another thread discussing how hard it is to leave the cult mindset. . .



Scientology Scenario: A Wog is being disseminated to on the street by a "Body Router":


WOG WILLIAM
Jeez, I don't know, it sounds too good to be true.

STAFF MEMBER SAM
Then you need to come with me right now into our Ideal Org
so that you can become the Ideal You!

WOG WILLIAM
Well, um, actually I would like to read a little bit first and
talk to my wife about it before I come in.

STAFF MEMBER SAM
That's your reactive mind talking. That's your bank talking.
That's your ruin, ruining your life, It's going to get wayyyyy
worse and you are going to end up homeless and destitute
and naturally then you will die alone in the dark and in pain.

WOG WILLIAM
Whattttttttt?

STAFF MEMBER SAM
That's right, you can't keep listening to what other people
tell you to do. You need to rise above your bank here and
rise above your wife and come with me. This is your first
step on the Bridge to learn to "THINK FOR YOURSELF!!!"


CUT TO: 25 YEARS LATER

Wog William got on the Bridge that day and has been a staff member for the past quarter century. He is an Ideal Scientologist and even his name has changed. He is now BILLY BLOWDOWN--always VGIs, always F/Ning, always cogniting, always winning, always blowing down. Billy is still on his Grades because he has dedicated himself to "clearing the planet" and "rose above" his fixed attention on his "1st Dynamic". He slowly approaches and then sheepishly enters his senior's office--the very same "SAM" that recruited him when he was "raw meat".



BILLY BLOWDOWN
Sir, apologies for DevTing you sir. But may I have
a short word with you.

STAFF MEMBER SAM
What is it?

BILLY BLOWDOWN
Sir, I have decided that I want to leave staff and do it
standardly with a standard leaving routing form.

STAFF MEMBER SAM
LOL, knock off the bullshit. Get back on post, you're
only 25 years into your billion year contract, there will be
plenty of time to dilettante around when the planet is clear.

BILLY BLOWDOWN
No, seriously sir, I've been thinking about this since
that time you RPFed me for several years for out-2D because
I felt up my wife before we were married. I had a lot of time
to think about whether I wanted to live like this, with my wife
posted in Eastern Europe, I haven't even seen her in 9 years.

STAFF MEMBER SAM
Well, like I've been telling you, get your stats into Power and
make sure you have a fully qual'd and fully hatted replacement
and then maybe you can CSW to be transferred to her Org.

BILLY BLOWDOWN
Sir, I have thought about all that a long time. My wife and I think that it is
unlikely that we will ever see each other again. And on top of that
even if we are together, it's off policy for us to have kids, and
we think that is something we really want.

STAFF MEMBER SAM
"WE" think?! You still have that same ruin you had when I first
body routed your DB ass into the org. You need to learn to think
for yourself.

BILLY BLOWDOWN
Okay, sir. But I did think about it for myself. And I decided that I think
that I want to route off staff. That's what I think, sir.

STAFF MEMBER SAM
That sounds all fine and good but you are not Clear yet, so you are NOT qualified
to think for yourself yet. The only thoughts you have as a "preclear" per KSW
are reactive thoughts. Ron states that when you are Clear you can think for yourself.
Now get back on post with all this counter-intentioned, other-intentioned DevT entheta.

BILLY BLOWDOWN
But sir, I am thinking for myself. I am going to route off staff.
I'm not asking you, I'm telling you.

STAFF MEMBER SAM
WTF? I am assigning you Danger. As your senior I am now going to by-pass you and
think for you so this danger is handled. Then you can think for yourself.

BILLY BLOWDOWN
Um, okay sir. That sounds standard. I'll go back on post now, sir.
Sorry to DevT you, sir. Oh, may I ask sir, how long do you think it
will take for me to get out of Danger so that I can t think for myself?

STAFF MEMBER SAM
Ron states that it takes as long as it takes.

BILLY BLOWDOWN
Yes, sir. That sounds standard. I'll begin writing up my Danger Formula
and submit an amends project for my out ethics situation of going all
squirrel and trying to think non-standard thoughts when LRH already
gave us total freedom to pick from the list of Ideal Thoughts.


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