Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology PART 4

Type4_PTS

Diamond Invictus SP
.

From the always entertaining & enlightening MIKE RINDER'S BLOG today comes
this nominee for one of the "Stupidest Moments in Scientology".
Oft discussed, here it is in black and white!
Err....red and white, or whatever:
- - - - - -


Scan_20190729.jpg


That is a lovely example of the principal (much like "Newton's Law of Motion") known as "THE HUBBARD LAW OF COMMOTION", which states:
"In Scientology, for each and every policy, code, or piece of tech
there is an equal and opposite policy, code or piece of tech."

In case you are reading this and don't happen to have a generous supply of clay nearby, let's break it down:

HCOB Signs Of Success: Whenever Scientologists are "really winning", people "start to scream". They "howl or make trouble only when we're winning".
HCOPL KSW: "The only thing you can be upbraided for by students or pcs is 'no results'."

Ergo, if people are screaming and howling and making trouble because of no results, it's only because there was incredible results.

Ergo, if a paid PC is upbraiding, making trouble, screaming & howling---it's because they are winning.

Ergo, the Orwellian slogan: "Losing is Winning!"

CONCLUSION: All those floods of people despising, suing and filing police reports on Scientology---the modern science of mental wins!

.




.
So if nobody is complaining or making trouble for CoS is that a bad sign? :unsure::blink:
 

HelluvaHoax!

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.

COLONS, CRIMES & HITLER
Scientology's Sacred Scripture on SP Squirrels

First, let's clear up any reasonable ideas about who/what squirrels are. Squirrels alter (always to worsen) Ron's sacred scripture. They do this because they are degraded and/or evil. It is a "High Crime" to change even one colon in any of the church's holy bible, because that alone is a knowing act calculated to sabotage mankind's only hope to escape the nightmare of the eternal suffering on this slave planet.

High Crimes are suppressive, therefore anyone who perpetrates such overts is an SP. Because SPs are mass murderers like Hitler, all SPs must be destroyed, in order to save mankind--on this planet.

The reasoning for all the above is quite logical. If anyone is ever allowed to alter the technology of Scientology, which Ron scientifically proved was 100% workable, then the tech won't work and all beings in the universe will lose their eternity. Simple.

CULT CURIOSITY: Beginning in 1950 with the 100% workable modern science of mental health, Dianetics, Ron began obsessively altering the tech every single day until he left the planet in 1986. In fact, that's ALL Ron did during each of those 13,140 days! He altered the tech. But, oh wait, you say---that's not fair! Ron wasn't altering the tech, he was refining the tech. Improving the tech. In Ron's own words, "streamlining" the tech.
Axiom: If any being on this planet alters even a colon of Ron's tech they are an evil SP.
Axiom: If L. Ron Hubbard alters the tech, he is not a evil SP, he's a good SP (Streamlining Person).
Corollary: Only one (1) being on this planet ("Source") is capable of changing (altering) and thereby improving anything. All the other 7.4 billion beings who pretend to better anything are SPs like Hitler.
Colon Corollary: Ron , the infallible "Source" of Scientology tech, prohibits any Scientologist from fiddling around with colons, because that is in fact the secret "Source" from whence Hubbard discovered the tech and pulled it out.
.


 

Enthetan

Master of Disaster
.

From the always entertaining & enlightening MIKE RINDER'S BLOG today comes
this nominee for one of the "Stupidest Moments in Scientology".
Oft discussed, here it is in black and white!
Err....red and white, or whatever:
- - - - - -


Scan_20190729.jpg


That is a lovely example of the principal (much like "Newton's Law of Motion") known as "THE HUBBARD LAW OF COMMOTION", which states:
"In Scientology, for each and every policy, code, or piece of tech
there is an equal and opposite policy, code or piece of tech."

In case you are reading this and don't happen to have a generous supply of clay nearby, let's break it down:

HCOB Signs Of Success: Whenever Scientologists are "really winning", people "start to scream". They "howl or make trouble only when we're winning".
HCOPL KSW: "The only thing you can be upbraided for by students or pcs is 'no results'."

Ergo, if people are screaming and howling and making trouble because of no results, it's only because there was incredible results.

Ergo, if a paid PC is upbraiding, making trouble, screaming & howling---it's because they are winning.

Ergo, the Orwellian slogan: "Losing is Winning!"

CONCLUSION: All those floods of people despising, suing and filing police reports on Scientology---the modern science of mental wins!

.




.
This was his instructions to the Org and FSMs. What else are they going to do?

Meanwhile, in parallel, his instructions to the GO/OSA were "Find the attackers. Attack them back. If possible, utterly ruin them".
 

HelluvaHoax!

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This was his instructions to the Org and FSMs. What else are they going to do? Meanwhile, in parallel, his instructions to the GO/OSA were:
.
"Find the attackers. Attack them back. If possible, utterly ruin them".
.
.
There are many such highly confidential instructions to elite COS executives, such as:

"Find the credulous whales. Attack their finances. If possible utterly bankrupt them."
.
 
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Enthetan

Master of Disaster
.

COLONS, CRIMES & HITLER
Scientology's Sacred Scripture on SP Squirrels

First, let's clear up any reasonable ideas about who/what squirrels are. Squirrels alter (always to worsen) Ron's sacred scripture. They do this because they are degraded and/or evil. It is a "High Crime" to change even one colon in any of the church's holy bible, because that alone is a knowing act calculated to sabotage mankind's only hope to escape the nightmare of the eternal suffering on this slave planet.

High Crimes are suppressive, therefore anyone who perpetrates such overts is an SP. Because SPs are mass murderers like Hitler, all SPs must be destroyed, in order to save mankind--on this planet.

The reasoning for all the above is quite logical. If anyone is ever allowed to alter the technology of Scientology, which Ron scientifically proved was 100% workable, then the tech won't work and all beings in the universe will lose their eternity. Simple.

CULT CURIOSITY: Beginning in 1950 with the 100% workable modern science of mental health, Dianetics, Ron began obsessively altering the tech every single day until he left the planet in 1986. In fact, that's ALL Ron did during each of those 13,140 days! He altered the tech. But, oh wait, you say---that's not fair! Ron wasn't altering the tech, he was refining the tech. Improving the tech. In Ron's own words, "streamlining" the tech.

Axiom: If any being on this planet alters even a colon of Ron's tech they are an evil SP.
Axiom: If L. Ron Hubbard alters the tech, he is not a evil SP, he's a good SP (Streamlining Person).
Corollary: Only one (1) being on this planet ("Source") is capable of changing (altering) and thereby improving anything. All the other 7.4 billion beings who pretend to better anything are SPs like Hitler.
Colon Corollary: Ron , the infallible "Source" of Scientology tech, prohibits any Scientologist from fiddling around with colons, because that is in fact the secret "Source" from whence Hubbard discovered the tech and pulled it out.
.


Yes, altering even one colon was a suppressive act, and was put at the same level of severity as murder and arson

HCOPL: Suppressive Acts Suppression of Scientology and Scientologists

Also included under suppressive acts (at link above) : "Delivering up the person of a Scientologist without justifiable defense or lawful protest to the demands of civil or criminal law": meaning, even if you witnessed a Scientologist committing a felony, you were not supposed to call the police. You were supposed to call HCO, who would involve GO/OSA, and let them decide. I knew of people who committed felonies, including things like raping a nine-year-old child, who were simply offloaded from staff and told never to return. Involving the police would have been "out-PR".
 

HelluvaHoax!

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Yes, altering even one colon was a suppressive act, and was put at the same level of severity as murder and arson

HCOPL: Suppressive Acts Suppression of Scientology and Scientologists

Also included under suppressive acts (at link above) : "Delivering up the person of a Scientologist without justifiable defense or lawful protest to the demands of civil or criminal law": meaning, even if you witnessed a Scientologist committing a felony, you were not supposed to call the police. You were supposed to call HCO, who would involve GO/OSA, and let them decide. I knew of people who committed felonies, including things like raping a nine-year-old child, who were simply offloaded from staff and told never to return. Involving the police would have been "out-PR".
Yes, the church is very selective on which crimes are prosecuted or ignored.

Example: If is a "High Crime" and "Suppressive Act" for one Scientologist to defraud another Scientologist. However that only applies when the victim is "another Scientologist". However, there are no policies prohibiting defrauding all Scientologists, which explains why Hubbard was never Com Ev'd.​
CULT CURIOSITY: Scientology uses a vast network of surveillance, informants, ethics interrogations and lie detection devices to discover even the smallest crime, misdemeanor or minor infraction---in order to summarily slam the offender and severely punish/degrade them. Unless the "suppressive act" resulted in income for senior management, in which case the perpetrator is awarded a standing ovation and jumbo freedom medallion.

Tom Cruise accepts Scientology's version of the Academy Award in the category of:

hqdefault.jpg

- BEST PERFORMANCE IN A HOAX -
Portraying an Operating Thetan who is saving the Planet so
causatively & winningly that homo sapiens suspends disbelief
and cheerfully donates all their money to an avariciously lying cult



.

 

JustSheila

Crusader
LOL

So, wait---does that mean that the End Phenomena of the Bridge is---

"KNOWING HOW TO KNOW
HOW TO UNKNOW?"


.
:laugh:

Yes, or to be more precise, the EXSCN COG:

"Knowing that knowing how to know meant unknowing all I knew before I knew how to know so that I could re-know what I unknew before."

(But of course, you already knew that... :coolwink:

The moral of the story is: You reap what you know, so just let it go and blow.
 

HelluvaHoax!

Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on
:laugh:

Yes, or to be more precise, the EXSCN COG:

"Knowing that knowing how to know meant unknowing all I knew before I knew how to know so that I could re-know what I unknew before."

(But of course, you already knew that... :coolwink:

The moral of the story is: You reap what you know, so just let it go and blow.
LOL

In a bizarrely paradoxical cult moment. . .

The knowing-how-to-know people don't know that the bridge to total knowingness is a hoax and that the end phenomenon of the highest level is not-knowing. Cult marks actually attest to this on OT VIII:

"I NOW KNOW WHO I AM NOT AND I AM INTERESTED TO FIND OUT WHO I AM"

THE BAD NEWS: The ideal scene atop the bridge is full OT (OBLIVIOUS THETAN)

The good news is that it's a win! The cult copywriters used a clever rhetorical gimmick to convert a person attesting to being CLUELESS into a big win and a big cognition!

"I NOW KNOW WHO I AM NOT AND I AM INTERESTED TO FIND OUT WHO I AM"
Wow! I just realized that I don't have any clue who I am! Amazing! And it only cost me 40 years and $1,000,000.

PRO-TIP: Now do you finally understand why Ron can truthfully claim that: "Scientology is the only game in the universe were everyone wins!" LOL

.
 

Enthetan

Master of Disaster
Yes, the church is very selective on which crimes are prosecuted or ignored.

Example: If is a "High Crime" and "Suppressive Act" for one Scientologist to defraud another Scientologist. However that only applies when the victim is "another Scientologist". However, there are no policies prohibiting defrauding all Scientologists, which explains why Hubbard was never Com Ev'd.
CULT CURIOSITY: Scientology uses a vast network of surveillance, informants, ethics interrogations and lie detection devices to discover even the smallest crime, misdemeanor or minor infraction---in order to summarily slam the offender and severely punish/degrade them. Unless the "suppressive act" resulted in income for senior management, in which case the perpetrator is awarded a standing ovation and jumbo freedom medallion.

Tom Cruise accepts Scientology's version of the Academy Award in the category of:

hqdefault.jpg


- BEST PERFORMANCE IN A HOAX -
Portraying an Operating Thetan who is saving the Planet so
causatively & winningly that homo sapiens suspends disbelief
and cheerfully donates all their money to an avariciously lying cult



.

"Defrauding another Scientologist" is only a crime to the extent that you took assets that are thus unavailable to registrars.

ALL these high crimes boil down to "actions which reduce future income to orgs"
 

Type4_PTS

Diamond Invictus SP
<snip>
The good news is that it's a win! The cult copywriters used a clever rhetorical gimmick to convert a person attesting to being CLUELESS into a big win and a big cognition!

"I NOW KNOW WHO I AM NOT AND I AM INTERESTED TO FIND OUT WHO I AM"
Wow! I just realized that I don't have any clue who I am! Amazing! And it only cost me 40 years and $1,000,000.
<snip>
If people knew in advance that THAT was the cognition they would have as an OT VIII completion how many of them would have paid that kind of money in order to get there?

The OT Levels were marketed as a way to put beings at CAUSE, not to become interested to find out who they are. LOL

Here is the Scientology Super Bowl ad from 2016, leading people to believe they can answer the question "Who am I?" by getting involved with Scientology.

But they don't actually offer any services which enable people to find the answer. :faceslap:


 

HelluvaHoax!

Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on
If people knew in advance that THAT was the cognition they would have as an OT VIII completion how many of them would have paid that kind of money in order to get there?

The OT Levels were marketed as a way to put beings at CAUSE, not to become interested to find out who they are. LOL

Here is the Scientology Super Bowl ad from 2016, leading people to believe they can answer the question "Who am I?" by getting involved with Scientology.

But they don't actually offer any services which enable people to find the answer. :faceslap:


.
I'd also like to produce a SuperBowl commercial lasting 30 seconds.

Same slick cult commercial and same actress that wanted so dearly to know "WHO AM I?"

But this time. . . .

As commercial begins running, an off-camera narrator chimes in:

NARRATOR (VOICEOVER)
So, let's see what happens on her wonderful journey
of discovery as she explores her own universe in
today's fastest growing religion, Scientology.

CUT TO: Scene of actress walking into a Scientology center, being met with smiles by a half dozen uptone staff members. Her apprehensions are calmed and we see her begin to smile. . .

NARRATOR
Well that wasn't so difficult. Now she's on the Bridge To Total Freedom.
What a wondrous thing it must be to finally discover the
timeless question we all want to know: "WHO AM I?"

DISSOLVE THRU MANY SCENES: Montage of her getting auditing, laughing, cogniting, looking happier than possible.

NARRATOR
Golly she sure is having huge unprecedented wins! Well
let's run this miraculously illuminating spiritual
journey a little bit forward in time. . .

CUT TO: Scenes of same actress years later, in Sea Org uniform, looking worried to death as she marks downtrending graphs and upper management execs appear at her work station to commence purple faced screaming about her "downstats".
NARRATOR
Well, that wasn't so pleasant. I'm sure it
gets better. Lets fast forward again. . .

SUPER FAST FORWARDING - SUDDENLY STOPS AND COPY APPEARS ON SCREEN - "29 YEARS LATER"
NARRATOR
Well, this is going to be quite wonderful because she has been in Scientology
full time for only 3 decades, but by now she certainly knows the answer
to the question "WHO AM I?" There she is now, she
is just attesting to OT VIII, the highest level
in Scientology, so hey, let's ask her!

SCENE OF ACTRESS - ATTESTING TO OT VIII - COUNTLESS PEOPLE APPEAR AND BEGIN APPLAUDING AND CHEERING

Just as everyone breaks to go back to their posts, she basks in the afterglow. Then she hears a voice. No one is there but it's the voice of our NARRATOR, speaking to her.
NARRATOR
Well congratulations! Yes, you. Congratulations to you
for reaching the highest spiritual level attainable
on this planet---OT VIII! Can you tell us
what you learned? We are dying to
hear the answer to
"WHO AM I?"
So?


ACTRESS
Well, I don't think I am supposed to talk about
that, isn't it supposed to be confidential?


NARRATOR
Oh, come on! We have been watching you for decades,
we were in all your auditing sessions, we saw all
the worksheets and meter reads. Hey we even
saw you every time you went to the reg and
borrowed money so you could pay for
your Bridge. That was pretty
impressive that you were
able to borrow
$600,000!


ACTRESS
Wow, thanks for the validation flow. I suppose
I could share a non-confidential win. What
did you want to know exactly?


NARRATOR
We'd love to know the answer you
discovered to "WHO AM I?"


ACTRESS
Oh sure, it's my biggest win ever! I cognited
that I DON"T KNOW WHO I AM.


NARRATOR
Wutttttttttt? No I mean in the Superbowl commercial
you did 30 years ago, you wanted to know "WHO AM I?"
So who are you?


ACTRESS
Like I said, I reached the highest OT level and
found out that I DON'T KNOW WHO I AM!
Isn't that wonderful?


NARRATOR
We don't get it. You already didn't know who you were
when you made that commercial. And now you still
don't know who you are? So where is the gain in that?


ACTRESS
I didn't tell you the best part. I DON'T KNOW WHO I AM
BUT I AM INTERESTED TO FIND OUT.


NARRATOR
OMG, seriously? That's exactly what you told your reg
30 years ago on your first day in Scientology. Did it
ever occur to you that you wasted the best 30 years
of your life and all your money for nothing at all?


ACTRESS
Oh no, it wasn't for nothing. I had another
mindblowing, life-changing, epic win. After
I attested to OT VIII, I got an invitation to
do OT IX when it is released and they told
me that everything on the Bridge up to
this point was just set-ups and negative
gain, but OT IX is the first OT level that
gives positive gains. And they said it
would totally handle my ruin that
I got into Scientology to handle!


NARRATOR
Handle your ruin?


ACTRESS
Yes, it handles wholetrack amnesia that
made me forget who I am!


NARRATOR
Does it also handle the wholetrack amnesia
that made you forget the last 30 years of
reg cycles that guaranteed you the
next level would answer the
question "WHO AM I?"


ACTRESS
Jeez, I don't know, but I am
interested to find out.



:
 
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HelluvaHoax!

Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on
"Defrauding another Scientologist" is only a crime to the extent that you took assets that are thus unavailable to registrars.

ALL these high crimes boil down to "actions which reduce future income to orgs"
Scientologists are the self-appointed ETHICS OFFICERS to the world.

They alone are "putting in ethics on this planet". That is the first mandate of the Sea Org. Seriously.

This is why they spend 18 hours a day writing KRs on each other, sec-checking each other and screaming at anyone who doesn't instantly obey their orders "WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES?!"

EXPLANATION FOR WHY SCIENTOLOGISTS ACT SO CRAZY & OBSESSED WITH OVERTS & CRIMES: Misdirection. They might spend 18 hours a day interrogating each other for crimes, but they spend 24 hours a day defrauding every person they interact with. That's the "magic trick", and that's why they need misdirection so nobody notices that the COS (Church of Scientology) is really the Crimewave of Scientology. Remember, Hubbard has indoctrinated them to "always attack, never defend". That's why they are always shouting "What are your crimes?!" That's their misdirection gimmick so people are focused on how fanatically stupid they are instead of asking them about their multi-billion dollar fraud that sells non-existent states and pretend miracles.

.
 

ILove2Lurk

Lisbeth Salander
I'd also like to produce a SuperBowl commercial lasting 30 seconds.
Can't help but mention a couple of real-life outcomes from the top of the bridge.

I know of a well-known, still-active FSM and public speaker. Both he and his wife are OT8, Class 8, all Ls, experienced in the chair, fifty-year veterans. They've inherited family money and live in a beautiful somewhat exclusive area, so day-to-day financial pressures don't seem like an issue. He's still doing the traveling "major FSM shtick" and she's at home being really depressed from what he's privately revealed. Every day. He's hoping that the upper OT levels (9&10) will finally handle her. Well, whatever it is. That's what he's pinning all his hopes on to resolve his situation at home. The "next level" phenomenon.

He obviously didn't get the memo that the upper OT levels don't exist. Believer to the end, I guess.

Here's another example:

Kevin Bloody Mackey | January 19, 2013 at 3:02 am [posted on Marty's blog]
Really? For many years a lofty state of “Operating thetan” was alluded to in the CofS. Promo was sent out depicting a being exterior in space, references were made to remote viewing, x-ray vision, telekinesis and abilities that we’d had trillenia ago that were now lost. The state was described in great detail in many of LRH’s tapes. The bridge itself showed seven levels above OTVIII ending in “Power on all Dynamics” and “Total Freedom”. In the “Clear to Eternity” HCOB LRH told of the long haul above the ‘pre OT’ levels on the final band of case gain. I myself had my eye firmly on the ‘mountain’ for my 26 years in the Corporate Church of the Holy Ponzi Scheme. It kept me going for 15 years on the squirrel wheel to insanity called Solo Nots. When my wife attested before me and slumped into depression I hoped for many levels above VIII as I knew OT VIII didn’t address her difficulties or the ones I was facing.
I have difficulty reconciling my personal experience with your post Marty. Obviously you were privy to more information than me, but Jeez, I wish I’d known that when I was doing ‘baby watch’ on type three OTs.
I’d have thrown in the towel years ago. It really hurts to hear that there was nothing above OTVIII, even within anyone’s delusions.
Happens more than people know.
 

Type4_PTS

Diamond Invictus SP
.
I'd also like to produce a SuperBowl commercial lasting 30 seconds.
<snip>
I would LOVE for that commercial to be produced for real, even if the original actress cannot be used.

I bet it could exteriorize some Scientologists (from the CoS) in 60 seconds.

Alternatively, maybe someone who's great with video editing can make some changes to the original video, switching out the narrator. :hmm:
 

HelluvaHoax!

Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on
I would LOVE for that commercial to be produced for real, even if the original actress cannot be used.

I bet it could exteriorize some Scientologists (from the CoS) in 60 seconds.

Alternatively, maybe someone who's great with video editing can make some changes to the original video, switching out the narrator. :hmm:
LOL, you're right! Hey that could be it. Not using the original SuperBowl commercial because it doesn't have any visual recognition anyways---and besides, a video is not conducive to synch-ing up faux dialogue---unless there's a lot of talking in the footage.

The Super Bowl commercial didn't have Scientologists chatting because that would be counterproductive. Let us recall all the incredibly cringey-creepy videos of Scientologists giving delusional success stories with illiterate cult-gibberish. No that wouldn't be good to allow anyone to actually HEAR what Scientologists are actually thinking, LOL.

So! What we need is an already-existing and fully suitable/adaptable scene(s) from a movie that can be hijacked & hacked.

Like this one. . .


 
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HelluvaHoax!

Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on
.

This kind of video is far more suitable....

BEFORE JOKING & DEGRADING EDITS

By the way, that video is an extraordinary showcase of Scientology's pathological lying.

It is wall-to-wall lies. The "tech" and "auditing" depicted in that video have not been used by Scientology centers since the very early 1950s. It bears no resemblance to what is delivered by professional auditors for the past 64 years.

Anyone ever have even one auditing session (ever) where the auditor commanded you to "COME TO PRESENT TIME" and then followed that up with the command "ARE YOU NOW IN PRESENT TIME?"

The reason that question is forbidden by modern Scientology tech is that it was discovered if anyone ever responded to the command by actually coming to present time-----they would immediately cringe, stand up and blow Scientology.

.
 

ILove2Lurk

Lisbeth Salander
. . .
I ran across this interesting tidbit today on my computer and thought
it fit under the rubric of Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology.

It's an excerpt from the full Denver Police Department report about
William "Rex" Fowler murdering his co-worker with a Glock, followed
by his attempted suicide with the same Glock. The day after the
murder, Rex was being held in the hospital and undergoing treatment
for his gunshot wound. Detectives approached his wife, Janet, and she
immediately demanded the return of Rex's briefcase, which apparently
held Rex's Solo Nots worksheets and correction lists. The excerpt speaks
for itself. (Although @HelluvaHoax! may have something to say about it.)

1sci.jpg
Even the detectives noticed the effective attempt at a Tone 40 command
and memorialized it in the report.​
 
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programmer_guy

True Ex-Scientologist
.

This kind of video is far more suitable....

BEFORE JOKING & DEGRADING EDITS

By the way, that video is an extraordinary showcase of Scientology's pathological lying.

It is wall-to-wall lies. The "tech" and "auditing" depicted in that video have not been used by Scientology centers since the very early 1950s. It bears no resemblance to what is delivered by professional auditors for the past 64 years.
<snip>

.
Yes.
My comment on the video:
If that stuff had actually worked most of the time with most people then the e-meter would never have been invented.
 
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