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Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology PART 4

DagwoodGum

Squirreling Dervish
.





That is really interesting! I have never heard/read that before. I would love to view/listen to those un-edited tapes before the "laugh track" was as-ised, LOL.

Have you or anyone ever heard LRH lectures/films where audience members laughed derisively, jeered or shouted back the most suppressively high-crime of all high-crimes---DISAGREEMENT?

If there is an "Original Sin" in Scientology it's that--disagreeing. What's absurdly ironic is that Scientology most fundamental tenet is that "WHAT'S REAL FOR YOU IS WHAT IS REAL" and "WHAT'S TRUE FOR YOU IS WHAT IS TRUE". However, nobody is actually allowed to apply that in real life when it comes to the infallible C-gurus (Cult Commodore/COB).

We join Dr. Hubbard's lecture-in-progress:


DR. HUBBARD
...now isn't that fascinating that when I got back from Venus where I was almost
run over by a freight train, I discovered the 75 million year old "Wall of Fire"
that I am the only being to ever pass through safely without dying. Mind you,
I did contract a terrible case of pneumonia and lung cancer, but then I discovered
another miraculous cure which is to increase my smoking from one pack of cigarettes
a day to a full non-filtered, 3-pack habit. And WHOOSH! No cancer! So what does all
this mean to you and your eternity. Just this, what is real to you is what is real. It was
real to me that I could cure cancer and I did! First being to ever cure cancer, so I suppose
that makes me the greatest doctor that ever lived on this planet. And you each should apply
that Code of Honor datum, and keep your own counsel and never compromise your own reality
because what is true for you is what is truly true! And that is my gift to you. Thank you.

APPLAUSE GREETS HUBBARD'S STIRRING & INSPIRING CLOSE

A VOICE IN THE AUDIENCE
Ron! Ron! Ron! What is real to me is that you never had lung cancer, what is real to
me is that you made it up. What is real to me is that you don't have any proof that you
had lung cancer because you told me in session that you are terrified to ever go to a
medical doctor and you haven't seen a doctor in 32 years! That's what's real to me.

HUBBARD

(screaming tone 40 as loudly as he can)
HCO BRING ORDER!!! Grab that fucking SP and fair game his
fucking ass until he is bankrupt, in a mental institution, in prison or dead!

.
What I'd read somewhere in my various searches, to be as exact as possible, was a discussion of piles of poorly recorded LRH tapes that had to be salvaged by their branch that does that. Not having been in Sea Org, the name of that branch trained in video restoration I've forgotten. Supposedly in the restoration of the poorly recorded early (especially) LRH lectures derisive laughter, insults and more had to be edited out in the restoration process. As usual, I usually think that I'm the last to find out these things due to my long absence from the Scn scene, that most everyone already knows these things so I just keep reading and then go on to something else. Now I'm having trouble finding these references. I don't think they were on YouTube videos but I could be wrong about that. Anyone remember where that information came from. One of the many books that are out?
 

DagwoodGum

Squirreling Dervish
.





That is really interesting! I have never heard/read that before. I would love to view/listen to those un-edited tapes before the "laugh track" was as-ised, LOL.

Have you or anyone ever heard LRH lectures/films where audience members laughed derisively, jeered or shouted back the most suppressively high-crime of all high-crimes---DISAGREEMENT?

If there is an "Original Sin" in Scientology it's that--disagreeing. What's absurdly ironic is that Scientology most fundamental tenet is that "WHAT'S REAL FOR YOU IS WHAT IS REAL" and "WHAT'S TRUE FOR YOU IS WHAT IS TRUE". However, nobody is actually allowed to apply that in real life when it comes to the infallible C-gurus (Cult Commodore/COB).

We join Dr. Hubbard's lecture-in-progress:


DR. HUBBARD
...now isn't that fascinating that when I got back from Venus where I was almost
run over by a freight train, I discovered the 75 million year old "Wall of Fire"
that I am the only being to ever pass through safely without dying. Mind you,
I did contract a terrible case of pneumonia and lung cancer, but then I discovered
another miraculous cure which is to increase my smoking from one pack of cigarettes
a day to a full non-filtered, 3-pack habit. And WHOOSH! No cancer! So what does all
this mean to you and your eternity. Just this, what is real to you is what is real. It was
real to me that I could cure cancer and I did! First being to ever cure cancer, so I suppose
that makes me the greatest doctor that ever lived on this planet. And you each should apply
that Code of Honor datum, and keep your own counsel and never compromise your own reality
because what is true for you is what is truly true! And that is my gift to you. Thank you.

APPLAUSE GREETS HUBBARD'S STIRRING & INSPIRING CLOSE

A VOICE IN THE AUDIENCE
Ron! Ron! Ron! What is real to me is that you never had lung cancer, what is real to
me is that you made it up. What is real to me is that you don't have any proof that you
had lung cancer because you told me in session that you are terrified to ever go to a
medical doctor and you haven't seen a doctor in 32 years! That's what's real to me.

HUBBARD

(screaming tone 40 as loudly as he can)
HCO BRING ORDER!!! Grab that fucking SP and fair game his
fucking ass until he is bankrupt, in a mental institution, in prison or dead!

.
What I'd read somewhere in my various searches, to be as exact as possible, was a discussion of piles of poorly recorded LRH tapes that had to be salvaged by their branch that does that. Not having been in Sea Org, the name of that branch trained in video restoration I've forgotten. Supposedly in the restoration of the poorly recorded early (especially) LRH lectures derisive laughter, insults and more had to be edited out in the restoration process. As usual, I usually think that I'm the last to find out these things due to my long absence from the Scn scene, that most everyone already knows these things so I just keep reading and then go on to something else. Now I'm having trouble finding these references. I don't think they were on YouTube videos but I could be wrong about that. Anyone remember where that information came from? Maybe it's in one of the many books that are out?
 
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HelluvaHoax!

Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on
.

From another thread. . .

....What I'd like to know is what kind of work are these members doing 12+ plus hours a day 7 days a week? I know they have have members watching others but besides renovating buildings and all of these titles that they have, I still can't figure out or find out what (does) all of the work consist of(?)

ANSWER: Approximately 2.5% of the Scientologists are directly involved in the application of their advanced technology to "Clear" individuals. The other 97.5% of Scientolgists are directly involved in investigating, writing reports, condemning and torturing the 2.5% for sabotaging the technology and not completing the simple task of "Clearing the planet".

.
 

HelluvaHoax!

Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on
Due to the overwhelming popular demand to learn more about our marvelously miraculous modern mental mind science, we are pleased to announce an all-new feature:

WogsWannaknow!
Non-Scientologists and other degraded beings are invited to send in their questions.
QUESTION: "Scientology staff members always seem so busy and productive 16-20 hours a day, I am just wondering what they will all do once the planet is cleared?"
ANSWER: Well, once the planet is cleared, we then have to take full responsibility to Clear the other planets, on this planet. After clearing all the planets, we still have to take full responsibility for salvaging this sector, on this planet.​
QUESTION: "Don't you people ever take time for yourself personally?"
ANSWER: We often take breaks to sleep, feed our MEST bodies, make coffee and smoke. If our stats are up, we enjoy generous amounts of leisure time & vacations on Saturday morning from 9am-11am to take full responsibility for doing MEST laundry, on this planet.​
QUESTION: Yeah, but after the planet is clear and the sector is salvaged, what will you people do then?
ANSWER: After Clearing all beings in this sector, we then have to write letters to all 76 quadrillion of them to get them back in to handle the false attest and ensure they redo their Bridge standardly.​

.
 

HelluvaHoax!

Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on
.

SCIENTOLOGY IN THEORY: The "Non-Existence Formula", wherein you succeed by beginning any relationship/business by asking the other person/customer: WHAT IS NEEDED AND WANTED? After which, you must then "deliver" to them what is needed and wanted.

SCIENTOLOGY IN PRACTICE: Scientologists asks a wog WHAT IS NEEDED AND WANTED? And, no matter what the person answers, Scientology adamantly insists that what that individual "needs & wants" is to get rid of their reactive mind and go Clear. Scientology then immediately informs the person that Scientology "needs & wants" them to donate all of their time and all of their money to Scientology---and never question anything they are ordered to believe or to do.


Summary: Scientology's core gimmick is to pretend to be interested in others by asking them what is bothering them. But Scientology is the science of "knowing how to know" so they are just making polite conversation---because they already KNOW what is ruining the person's life. Engrams. And after all the engrams are erased, Scientology still KNOWS what is running the person's life. Body Thetans. And when all the Body Thetans are blown, the knowing-how-to-know people still know what is ruining their life. Lack of money on account to buy sufficient auditing to discover the unhandled evil in their universe that is preventing the tech from working on them alone, while everyone else has so easily attained total freedom.
.
 

HelluvaHoax!

Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on
.


The real reason Scientologists are endlessly and ruthlessly drilled on TR3 & TR4---to train them to get an answer to this question:

"I'll repeat the Total Freedom command. Where else can you find or borrow money
to do your next auditing action so you don't immediately die and suffer for eternity?"
.
 

HelluvaHoax!

Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on
.


The real reason Scientologists are endlessly and ruthlessly drilled on TR-0.

To train them to not react and "do nothing"--when Scientology steals decades of their life and all their money.
.
 
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HelluvaHoax!

Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on
.


The real reason Scientologists are taught to stand and applaud a wall photo of the Commodore.

Because it is an effective distraction that prevents Scientologists from wondering why their high-toned, total-cause OT leader was a mentally ill con man wearing a naval costume and exhibiting low-toned dramatizations like hiding in a Bluebird motorhome and unexpectedly attaining a highly advanced state of existence called dropping dead.
.
 

HelluvaHoax!

Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on
.

The real reason that Scientologists obsessively talk about their "wins" and miraculous "OT powers":

Because they are not able to do it.
Miracle workers demonstrate miracles. Cult members merely brag about miracles.
.
 

HelluvaHoax!

Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on
.

The real reason Scientology's movie stars also coincidentally happen to be their most advanced OTs:

Because actors are the best at TR-1; to wit, taking the script line(s) written by Hubbard and "making it their own".
And, then delivering it with sufficient authenticity/certainty that the listener is able to suspend their disbelief.
.
 
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HelluvaHoax!

Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on
.

The real reason the public fears & hates Scientology and chooses to believe the SPs rather than the totally ethical Execs, Clears & OTs that manage Scientology.

Because the SPs ARE the totally ethical Execs, Clears & OTs who were just
managing Scientology before blowing and becoming whistleblowers.
.
 

JackStraw

Silver Meritorious Patron
.

The real reason that Scientologists obsessively talk about their "wins" and miraculous "OT powers":

Because they are not able to do it.
Miracle workers demonstrate miracles. Cult members merely brag about miracles.
.
No, no,no. OTs are superior to mere miracle workers. Miracle workers show off their abilities, while true OTs refrain form demonstrating their powers because it would enturbulate the lesser beings. "Don't go knocking hats off at 50 paces..."

Remember the definition of Responsibility: Admit cause, able to withhold.

It's the "able to withhold" that marks the true OT.

Jack
 

Operating DB

Truman Show Dropout
No, no,no. OTs are superior to mere miracle workers. Miracle workers show off their abilities, while true OTs refrain form demonstrating their powers because it would enturbulate the lesser beings. "Don't go knocking hats off at 50 paces..."

Remember the definition of Responsibility: Admit cause, able to withhold.

It's the "able to withhold" that marks the true OT.

Jack
Wow! Thanks. I had a crashing MU on that for decades. Thanks for clearing that up.
 

guanoloco

As-Wased
No, no,no. OTs are superior to mere miracle workers. Miracle workers show off their abilities, while true OTs refrain form demonstrating their powers because it would enturbulate the lesser beings. "Don't go knocking hats off at 50 paces..."

Remember the definition of Responsibility: Admit cause, able to withhold.

It's the "able to withhold" that marks the true OT.

Jack

That's right! That's right!

I forgot this stupid...teaching people to be duplicitous and lie.

Excellent!!
 

HelluvaHoax!

Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on
.
From the book: (PAY OR)DIE-ANETICS: The Modern Seance of Mental Hoax
Chapter: "Even A Broken Cult is Right Twice a Lifetime"
AXIOM: All unwanted conditions & mental illness will instantly blow
the exact moment one confronts the exact time, place, form and
event that is the cause of human suffering.
This axiom is in fact scientifically provable and true! The moment a Scientologist confronts the exact time, place, form and event of what Scientology actually is, they blow--at which moment their human suffering ends. Thereafter they are able to comfortably resume being a human without being invalidated, tortured & terrorized because they are not a supernaturally powerful Homo Novis donor.
 
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HelluvaHoax!

Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on
..

Just in case anyone thought this was exaggerated cartoonish parody. . .

(PAY OR)DIE-ANETICS: The Modern Seance of Mental Hoax
Sorry, but that is exactly what Scientology is. A Seance.

A muti-decade, lavishly expensive Seance, to be exact.

The seance begins with a "Free Personality Test".

The results of the test invariably show that 100% of humans need auditing that costs at least $500,000.

And this auditing takes decades and there are many other huge expenses along the way (e.g. Scn hotel rooms, meals in Scn restaurants, mandatory purchases of books, e-meters, courses, IAS statuses, Ideal Org Donations, Reviews, Re-Dos of lower bridge due to "false attests", et al).

But how is all this related to the "Modern Seance of Mental Hoax"? you may still be wondering. . .

REASON: Because that is all that Scientology is. A seance wherein the spirits of dead people ("BTs") are contacted with the help of a "Medium" (auditor). These spirits are then communicated to in order to relieve the client of their pain, stress, suffering, problems and all manner of human difficulties.
180px-John_Beattie_Eugene_Rochas_seance.jpg

PRE-SCIENTOLOGY SEANCE
Before Hubbard's monumental breakthrough, Seances were riddled with
superstition and guesswork. The discovery of the e-meter raised seances from an
occult ritual to a modern technology, wherein the presence of dead spirits can be scientifically
verified with precise electronic confirmations. The e-meter is also able to diagnose the moment the harmful
spirit departs as well as the exact moment the preclear needs to speak to a spiritual guide known as the Registrar.


.
 

Out Effix

Out Ethics Ex Ethics Officer
.


The real reason Scientologists are taught to stand and applaud a wall photo of the Commodore.

Because it is an effective distraction that prevents Scientologists from wondering why their high-toned, total-cause OT leader was a mentally ill con man wearing a naval costume and exhibiting low-toned dramatizations like hiding in a Bluebird motorhome and unexpectedly attaining a highly advanced state of existence called dropping dead.
.
This brought up a realization I had when I was in.

COB did the dog and pony show about LRH dropping his body because it impeded the upper levels or something to that effect. He went off to Target Two to clear that planet and further his research.

What that means is you will reach a point in Scientology where your body is an impediment to the upper levels

Scientology is sort of a science of suicide. We were trained to tell people if you leave Scientology you will be a drug addict and die. I can't tell you the number of people I saw do exactly that.

What I have learned since I am out is that is a subliminal suggestion and an implant.

The few people that came into Scientology when I was on staff were looking for help. Either drug addiction, alcohol addiction etc.

They could not take the slave labor insanity of staff and had no money for "services".
They leave. We were trained to say something like that to them. Those words seeped into their subconscious. I saw a few people do exactly that. Some died fast and others went on a spiral down.

I think in Scientology it is an insidious covert death implant.
You will reach a level where you will off yourself so you too can have 72 virgins? Oh wait, that is a different cult. Lol. According to COB, you will be able to experience the Upper Levels. Upper Levels of what?

I cringe as I think about other stupid stuff that was taught in Scientology that people blindly believe. I am so happy I did not do that much of the Bridge.

I know people who did the L's and then filed bankruptcy after losing homes to foreclosure. Then, they took full responsibility for the financial ruin, just like LRH intended. They had just gotten back from months and months of Technical Perfection at Flag. The Bridge and the L's. The new life this dude experienced was a financial free fall. Total devastation.

Now he is out, far away, hiding under the radar staying far away pretending to still be in due to family connections. He is in doubt.

Another guy went to Flag and came back with cancer. He is dead.

Another woman went to Flag to train and came back with cancer. She is dead.

An OT 8 - dead at 57. Another OT 8 - dead - she was in her 60's.

Scientology has 65 years of selling a bridge. Where does it take a person really? Death.

Scientology negates everything being normal and human. I hate it when I hear people say - "I am a spiritual being having a human experience"

We are human beings with the hopes that there is something spiritual about our existence.

COB also says LRH went off to another planet

Why?

I would have to give LRH a big ole FLUNK for the lack of clearing he did on this planet.

Let that sink in OSA and Lurkers. Let that sink in.
 
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guanoloco

As-Wased
This brought up a realization I had when I was in.

COB did the dog and pony show about LRH dropping his body because it impeded the upper levels or something to that effect. He went off to Target Two to clear that planet and further his research.

What that means is you will reach a point in Scientology where your body is an impediment to the upper levels

Scientology is sort of a science of suicide. We were trained to tell people if you leave Scientology you will be a drug addict and die. I can't tell you the number of people I saw do exactly that.

What I have learned since I am out is that is a subliminal suggestion and an implant.

The few people that came into Scientology when I was on staff were looking for help. Either drug addiction, alcohol addiction etc.

They could not take the slave labor insanity of staff and had no money for "services".
They leave. We were trained to say something like that to them. Those words seeped into their subconscious. I saw a few people do exactly that. Some died fast and others went on a spiral down.

I think in Scientology it is an insidious covert death implant.
You will reach a level where you will off yourself so you too can have 72 virgins? Oh wait, that is a different cult. Lol. According to COB, you will be able to experience the Upper Levels. Upper Levels of what?

I cringe as I think about other stupid stuff that was taught in Scientology that people blindly believe. I am so happy I did not do that much of the Bridge.

I know people who did the L's and then filed bankruptcy after losing homes to foreclosure. Then, they took full responsibility for the financial ruin, just like LRH intended. They had just gotten back from months and months of Technical Perfection at Flag. The Bridge and the L's. The new life this dude experienced was a financial free fall. Total devastation.

Now he is out, far away, hiding under the radar staying far away pretending to still be in due to family connections. He is in doubt.

Another guy went to Flag and came back with cancer. He is dead.

Another woman went to Flag to train and came back with cancer. She is dead.

An OT 8 - dead at 57. Another OT 8 - dead - she was in her 60's.

Scientology has 65 years of selling a bridge. Where does it take a person really? Death.

Scientology negates everything being normal and human. I hate it when I hear people say - "I am a spiritual being having a human experience"

We are human beings with the hopes that there is something spiritual about our existence.

COB also says LRH went off to another planet

Why?

I would have to give LRH a big ole FLUNK for the lack of clearing he did on this planet.

Let that sink in OSA and Lurkers. Let that sink in.

I agree. FLUNK! it's an unfinished cycle and that's an anti social attribute.

Plus, he disconnected with no hat writeup so that's ethics violations and out tech.
 

HelluvaHoax!

Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on
.
---snipped--

I would have to give LRH a big ole FLUNK for the lack of clearing he did on this planet.

Originally posted by Guanoloco

I agree. FLUNK! it's an unfinished cycle and that's an anti social attribute.
Plus, he disconnected with no hat writeup so that's ethics violations and out tech.

.

Don't you just hate it when your in-ethics, total-responsibility, on-source, KSW guru blows and dumps his planetary clearing hat on you?

.
 
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