Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology - PART ONE

[HelluvaHoax!]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

...

Nominated for the stupidest Scientology promo piece so far in 2012.

* Worst Layout

* Worst Font utilization (style and sizes)

* Worst hyphen use in advertising history...​

Scientol-
ogy​

But it gets even worse!

The ad promises that if you buy a book with a leather binding that it will flood people into the Ideal Org. Then there is an amateurish photoshop of hundreds of people pasted onto a photo of the org that is half on the street and half in the clouds.

But wait.....how in freaking hell does buying a book flood people into an org?

Morons!

If someone actually buys a leather-bound book thinking that it will magically make people flood into the org, they so deserve to lose their money.

 

[Jump]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

"... financed by all profits generated from donations for the Ideal Org Leatherbounds."

They carefully don't spell it out. So it leaves you wondering what the % "profit from donations" is. I'm guessing its a rather low %. I mean, those glossy brochure email-campaigns can't come cheap!

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

They carefully don't spell it out. So it leaves you wondering what the % "profit from donations" is. I'm guessing its a rather low %. I mean, those glossy brochure email-campaigns can't come cheap!

Just found more details of this cult scam, direct from the church itself (below).

They are charging $500 for each copy of the leather-bound Dianetics.

Each Ideal Org has 500 copies to the "limited edition" to sell. That is $250,000.

Quarter million dollars! Not bad for dead cow skins over a dead con man's sins.

Hello NAME REDACTED,

I thought you would want to see this...

Celebrating the completion of our newest Ideal Orgs, commemorative leatherbound editions of Dianetics are being offered... and they are absolutely beautiful!

Here are the two most recent editions:

LAS VEGAS IDEAL ORG EDITION

[warning - proxy]Planetary Dissemination - Las Vegas & Celebrity Centre Ideal Org Edition

QUEBEC IDEAL ORG EDITION

[warning - proxy] Planetary Dissemination - Québec Ideal Org Edition


Each Ideal Org Edition is limited to 500 numbered copies. And while each is unique and beautiful in its own right, the true reward for owning these remarkable books is the personal satisfaction of guiding millions onto the road to Clear.

All donations will fund the campaign for that Org to get out of non-existence in their area (tailor made dissemination campaigns are being run after the grand opening of each Ideal Org).

These are now in stock at Bridge Publications and are being sold on a one-time-only basis, so do let me know right away if you are interested!

ORDER INFORMATION

The donation rate is $500 USD for each Ideal Org Edition.

To order, call us directly at 1-323-899-1034.

Hope to hear from you soon!

Sincerely,
Patrick Howson
Mail Order Manager
Bridge Publications, Inc.

So, hey, I've got a question for you Scientology.

How exactly does the $250,000 end up "flooding new people into the Ideal Org"?

(crickets)

 

[Rene Descartes]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

Gads it is beyond stupid.

And I want to also add that if you look at that picture of people walking "towards" and look closely you will see that there are people turned the other way and walking "away" from the org.

I feel bad for the staff in the meetings there where the "all hands" quotas are given out to sell htese things.

I wonder of the sellers get commissions on the sales.

Also I wonder if the org had to buy the books ahead of time and stock them.

Hey, my last two sentences are based on the policy that I studied those many years ago whilst on staff.

Rd00

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

...

 

[Jump]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

So, hey, I've got a question for you Scientology.

How exactly does the $250,000 end up "flooding new people into the Ideal Org"?

(crickets)

It's not $250,000, its the profit from the donations after creaming by the IAS, ABC, DEF, GHI, ETC...

Probably leaving just a a few hundred bucks to buy brochures at inflated prices from Gold.

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

..

This one is priceless. Over on Indie Scientology's main website (MartyBlog) there are regularly new faces of COS Scientologists doing their Doubt Formula. They are virtually cookie-cuttter with the smiling photo followed by a long recitation of all the "outpoints" that the Church has, typically with the LRH reference attached, proving it is "squirrel".

Today there is a new Indie who gives his long writeup and announces to both sides that he is leaving COS and now an Indie. The article is headlined with RONNIE BELL AND HIS PERSONAL INTEGRITY. Sit down with some popcorn because you are in for a real treat of exponential stupid.

Here is one of the reasons he is leaving the Church of Scientology:

16. Most of the first 100 Clears have also been declared, including John McMaster, Clear #1. Again, this is a strong indicator that the true SP is active within the church.

OMG!



He is leaving the CoS because Clear #1 John McMaster was declared SP.

His obnosis tell him that "this is a strong indicator that the true SP is active within the church".

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

We are supposed to conclude that the "true SP" is David Miscavich.

Except he was declared SP in 1969, years before David Miscavich was in Scientology. At the time McMaster was declared, Miscavich was a 9 year old child living in New Jersey, attending elementary school in the third grade.

How freaking stupid is this? So stupid that the author (and Marty Rathbun the publisher) pretend that Ron Hubbard was not the person that declared McMaster. He was the person. The only person.

And not a comment from the Indies about Hubbard being labeled as the "true SP" LOLOLOLOLOL

This is beyond stupid. It's Scientology!

 

[TheRealNoUser]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

This is stupendous. The best one so far by a mile. Nice fact-checking and correlation Helluvahoax!

 

[Gadfly]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

...

The ad promises that if you buy a book with a leather binding that it will flood people into the Ideal Org. Then there is an amateurish photoshop of hundreds of people pasted onto a photo of the org that is half on the street and half in the clouds.

But wait.....how in freaking hell does buying a book flood people into an org?

Morons!

If someone actually buys a leather-bound book thinking that it will magically make people flood into the org, they so deserve to lose their money.[/COLOR]

But, that is traditionally how ALL of Scientology works. Pay MONEY and all these wonderful things will naturally and automatically happen simply by "funding" the application of LRH's effective and workable tech.

 

[Mark A. Baker]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

... We are supposed to conclude that the "true SP" is David Miscavich. ...

Since lrh has been dead for 26 years, that is not an unreasonable supposition to make. At least not unreasonable with regard to the church of scientology as it is in present time.

Nor was McMaster's declare alone the reason he cites. It is the broader outpoint of the majority of the first hundred clears having been declared which points to the existence of a 'wrong target', to use scientology parlance. Not an unreasonable connection to draw all in all.

Are you simply unhappy that he has failed to have, what may be to your mind, the 'right' cognition? Hence your need for heaping a bit of public opprobrium on the man? In my view he is to be commended for acknowledging the need to look for one's self.

The fact is that Mr. Bell has written up an excellent series of clear outpoints regarding the Co$. It isn't completely comprehensive. Yet, as written, his screed is likely to have more of an impact on active church members because of its moderate tone and continued endorsement of the basic ideals which have traditionally appealed to scientologists. That is far more effective an approach at persuasion than screeching loudly about crimes of which few in the church are aware. Successfully changing minds is a gradual process. It typically requires an incremental approach to identifying inconsistencies and non-factual data so that the conflicts in the data can be understood and not simply dismissed as 'unreal'.

That he may not yet know all the history or have 'connected all the dots' is not especially surprising. I think it's a good thing that he has become aware of the obvious outpoints & inconsistencies and is willing to sort things out for himself. Judging by his letter he's off to a good start. With any luck he'll continue the process even if it takes him awhile to do so.

For most sorting through all the inconsistencies, false data, and deliberate lies regarding the church & lrh takes quite a lot of time. How long did it take you, HH?


Mark A. Baker

 

[Rene Descartes]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

Mr Baker,

I read all of Ronnie Bell's declaration and I thought he did a very good job of it.

If I ignore any of the "Ron's Kool Aid is best" portions of the declaration then I would consider that outpoint that HH wrote about to be the only outpoint of the declaration.

I do try to ignore the "Ron's Kool Aid is best" parts of the declarations I do read, at least at this stage I do.

It does appear that Mr Bell did shake up a little bit of time line there which I am going to cut him some slack on, primarily due to the many other glaringly outpoints that Mr Bell reveals in his declaration.

One thing that I do keep in mind is this - when these people make their declarations, if they are expecting their declarations to impinge on their fellow Scientologists, the best way to get them to impinge is to quote LRH in order to prove that the Pope on a Rope is the *BIGGEST* outpoint in the organization right now at the current time.

What is going to be the true test of a future Scientologist down the road will be to quote common sense and wisdom to point out that many of LRH's original ideas need to be shit canned.

But for now I tip my hat to Mr Bell.

And in defense of HH, Mr Bell has his purpose in the overall scheme of things and HH has his purpose in the overall scheme of things and they both are upstats in my book.

Rd00

 

[Mark A. Baker]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

... If I ignore any of the "Ron's Kool Aid is best" portions of the declaration then I would consider that outpoint that HH wrote about to be the only outpoint of the declaration.

I do try to ignore the "Ron's Kool Aid is best" parts of the declarations I do read, at least at this stage I do.

...

I've my own preference ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=86IpU3g-S8Q


Mark A. Baker

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

Since lrh has been dead for 26 years, that is not an unreasonable supposition to make. At least not unreasonable with regard to the church of scientology as it is in present time.

Nor was McMaster's declare alone the reason he cites. It is the broader outpoint of the majority of the first hundred clears having been declared which points to the existence of a 'wrong target', to use scientology parlance. Not an unreasonable connection to draw all in all.

Are you simply unhappy that he has failed to have, what may be to your mind, the 'right' cognition? Hence your need for heaping a bit of public opprobrium on the man? In my view he is to be commended for acknowledging the need to look for one's self.

The fact is that Mr. Bell has written up an excellent series of clear outpoints regarding the Co$. It isn't completely comprehensive. Yet, as written, his screed is likely to have more of an impact on active church members because of its moderate tone and continued endorsement of the basic ideals which have traditionally appealed to scientologists. That is far more effective an approach at persuasion than screeching loudly about crimes of which few in the church are aware. Successfully changing minds is a gradual process. It typically requires an incremental approach to identifying inconsistencies and non-factual data so that the conflicts in the data can be understood and not simply dismissed as 'unreal'.

That he may not yet know all the history or have 'connected all the dots' is not especially surprising. I think it's a good thing that he has become aware of the obvious outpoints & inconsistencies and is willing to sort things out for himself. Judging by his letter he's off to a good start. With any luck he'll continue the process even if it takes him awhile to do so.

For most sorting through all the inconsistencies, false data, and deliberate lies regarding the church & lrh takes quite a lot of time. How long did it take you, HH?

Mark A. Baker

Really? So it wasn't stupid for an Indie Scientologist to say that an SP declared Clear #1 John McMaster to be an SP (whom was declared by Hubbard), while at the same time praising Hubbard for giving us the tech to handle SPs?

You must be a lot of fun at comedy clubs, lecturing audience members why they should not be laughing at the J&D.

Helpful Reminder: This is the stupid thread where people make fun of stupid things that Scientologists do.

Thanks for the invitation to a debate. But wouldn't that be a major buzzkill for everybody here if I have to start explaining the punch lines to the jokes?

 

[TheRealNoUser]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

snip... I read all of Ronnie Bell's declaration and I thought he did a very good job of it.

His declaration is followed and emboldened by comments from people who are more entrenched in Scientology belief than even those in the Scientology "church".

Marty's blog does not allow any negative or critical comments, or even any that challenge the collective "MartyThink".

Marty's blog is as devoid from reality as a bunch of shit-shovellers at a shit-shovelling convention who are all extolling the virtues of shit-shovelling. None of them can even see the general population surrounding them who are all holding their noses and trying not to throw up.

Shitshovellology.

All else is semantics. Hubbard, Mayo, Miscavige, Rathbun. It's all the same fucking crap being spewed out over and over and over again. The only difference is who gets the money from the suckers.

Ronnie Bell is simply spewing the same crap once again, and HelluvaHoax! caught him out.

 

[Rene Descartes]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

His declaration is followed and emboldened by comments from people who are more entrenched in Scientology belief than even those in the Scientology "church".

Marty's blog does not allow any negative or critical comments, or even any that challenge the collective "MartyThink".

Marty's blog is as devoid from reality as a bunch of shit-shovellers at a shit-shovelling convention who are all extolling the virtues of shit-shovelling. None of them can even see the general population surrounding them who are all holding their noses and trying not to throw up.

Shitshovellology.

All else is semantics. Hubbard, Mayo, Miscavige, Rathbun. It's all the same fucking crap being spewed out over and over and over again. The only difference is who gets the money from the suckers.

Ronnie Bell is simply spewing the same crap once again, and HelluvaHoax! caught him out.

After reading your post I am going to take a wild guess and say that I don't think you read what I wrote.

I mean I could be wrong but I have no recollection of saying anything to HH in that post and I have a vague recolletion of making a somewhat laudatory comment about HH.

Then again I am tired and perhaps I was hallucinating when I read your post and totally mixconstrubulated it.

Rd00

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

...


Stupid du Jour. . .

L. Ron Hubbard "discovers" the ARC TRIANGLE and teaches mankind (for a price) how to repair ARC breaks and much, much more. He is (according to him) the unqualified master of how to bring mankind's Affinity soaring upward to celestial heights hitherto unreached. If that is true--

Isn't it then paradoxically fascinating that "Mankind's Greatest Friend" is simultaneously (somehow) the Founder of "Mankind's Most Hated Religion"?

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

..


Oh goody, Scientology just sent me an invitation to celebrate "Mankind's Greatest Friend's" 101 birthday.

In the 60 year history of the cult, this has to be the worst photo they have ever doctored to try to elevate a con man to a savior.

My God! What the hell happened in that airbrushing session?! LOLOLOLOL.

Who did that freaky photoshop?!

BEST GUESS: A crack team of experts was brought in to work on the photo...

* The special effects artist who did the body-spray-paint in the movie Goldfinger.

* A high-ranking IAS patron who is also an embalmer.

* A makeup artist from Madame Tussauds' wax museum.

* A guy who paints day glow Jesus portraits on velvet for flea markets.

* An RFP guy who used to work in a spray tanning salon.​

 

[guanoloco]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

..


Oh goody, Scientology just sent me an invitation to celebrate "Mankind's Greatest Friend's" 101 birthday.

In the 60 year history of the cult, this has to be the worst photo they have ever doctored to try to elevate a con man to a savior.

My God! What the hell happened in that airbrushing session?! LOLOLOLOL.

Who did that freaky photoshop?!

BEST GUESS: A crack team of experts was brought in to work on the photo...

* The special effects artist who did the body-spray-paint in the movie Goldfinger.

* A high-ranking IAS patron who is also an embalmer.

* A makeup artist from Madame Tussauds' wax museum.

* A guy who paints day glow Jesus portraits on velvet for flea markets.

* An RFP guy who used to work in a spray tanning salon.​

JEEZUSS HH KEERISTE! This is too funny!

Now don't kill this buzz, Mark!!

 

[A.K. Myers]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

Slight correction added

 

[TheRealNoUser]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

snip... The special effects artist who did the body-spray-paint in the movie Goldfinger... snip

That's the one !! LOL !