Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology - PART ONE

[HelluvaHoax!]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

This brushes on a point that just used to floor me. Even when I was involved with Scientology, while there were many things that seemed strange to me, this one you mention was especially absurd.

I would hear or read these sort of comments by Hubbard & Scientologists:

1. An SP just HATES all "betterment activities", and that is why they HATE Scientology.

2. The SPs "know deep down" that Scientology makes people ABLE, and can even make super-able OTs. Thus, the SPs again just HATE Scientology - as some natural knee-jerk "case reaction".

3. Psychiatry, governments and other sordid dictator-type scum would LOVE to have all of Scientology tech to "enslave" others.

4. The advanced materials must be kept secure so that squirrels and evil SPs don't use it to really HURT people.

I read lots about psychiatry when I was involved with the C of S. But, while I did read lots of critical treatments, such as by Peter Breggin and Thomas Szasz, I also went straight to the horses' mouths and read the writings of psychiatrists and psychologists directly. For instance, while studying about the effects of the NEA (National Education Association) and other special interest groups in American schools, along with related "conspiracy" books, I read 5 or 6 books by John Dewey, the "Father of American Education".

How I saw all of this was that most people most of the time were doing what they thought was right and best. They were making choices as best they could based on their own education (indoctrination). Granted, many people do some really nutty and harmful things while doing what "they think is best for others". The psychiatrist ramming an ice pick into the frontal lobes of a patient actually BELIEVED that this "helped the guy". One needs to read actual articles and books by people who did these things back in the day. I did. John Dewey believed that the aim of education was to socialize the kids and turn them into good like participating members of society ("just another brick in the Wall" - Pink Floyd). He began the trend where reading, writing and arithmetic were not viewed as so important (as compared to adjusting behavior in the schools).

But, I NEVER saw that any psychiatrist or government official EVER thought that there was ANYTHING to Scientology. In other words, for the psychs or government to "want what Scientology had", they would first have to recognize and consider that there was something "valuable there". For an SP to actually want to destroy some "betterment" activity, he would have to first believe that such an activity, in this case Scientology, could actually make people better, and even SUPER-ABLE. But really, when it came down to it, if you took the time to see what they REALLY thought, they either laughed at Hubbard & Scientology or didn't think about either at all.

To be AFRAID of Scientology, as Hubbard and Scientology promo endlessly claims and asserts they do, the governments and psychs would have to FIRST have the view that Scientology "worked". BUT IT DOESN'T, and none of the psychs or governments think so!

I would be at Flag, walking from the PDC course, happy, and loving what I was studying, and some IAS registrar would pull into her office and "brief" me on the latest "nastiness of the evil psychs" or some other major government suppression (for example in Germany). She would tell me all about how they wanted to DESTROY Scientology, or even more, "steal Ron's wondrous tech" and use it to enslave all Mankind. She would tell me how the IAS GUARANTEED that such things would never happen.

Of course, I had long since realized that there was no talking to these people, and while I would take whatever services I wanted, I did my best to stay away from the larger nuttiness that ran rampant all throughout the Scientology organization.

And, if I explained what I said above, the answer would ne, "yes, but DEEP DOWN, the THETAN KNOWS". The SPs KNOW that Ron has this amazing tech. It was as if they "knew" by ESP or telepathy!

Of course, the main problem is that most Scientologists make decisions based on grossly limited amounts of information that is given to them BY SCIENTOLOGY (by reading Hubbard, and whatever is told to them by current management). They are constantly "briefed" (indoctrinated). Any person makes decisions based on "what he or she knows" (i.e. ones "education"). In Scientology, what you "know to be true" is extremely controlled and directed along exact channels. Hubbard knew that any person will choose based on what he or she accepts as true. So, Hubbard made sure to control what any person "accepted as true". Once THAT is done, all the rest is easy!

Great post!

And "THE THETAN KNOWS" is one of the most cherished Stupid Moments of all time.

When all else fails (to answer a person's common sense questions) the failsafe is just to announce: "Because the thetan knows!"

One of the classic Scieno-Scenarios is when a person comes on lines who once (during college, years before starting Scientology) did an EST Seminar of some other "squirrel practice".

And that person would be "illegal" for the upper bridge to OT because they had "...been a member of an SP squirrel group."

Naturally, the person would be flabbergasted and say something like: "But I had never even heard of Scientology and I was only trying to do something to improve my life!"

Doesn't matter. The Ethics Officer would not be reasonable and show them Ron's policy on how they had to deliver an effective blow and destroy that "suppressive" squirrel group (literally so that it was "disbanded") before they could petition to be allowed to go OT.

And then the pc would cry: "But how could I have possibly known that I was joining an SP group when I didn't know what Scientology was--so how could I have known that they were altering standard Scientology?" The grinning Ethics Officer had a simple answer for that. "Because the being knows!"

Have I mentioned recently how paranoid & delusional Ron and his cult members are?

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

...

By far the greatest case gain a Scientologist can possibly have is from OP PRO BY DUP, aka "Book & Bottle".

Minimally 100 hours of this process is advised in order to attain the most advanced state of awareness and release.

 

[Gadfly]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

Hey, here is another STUPID MOMENT in my personal experiences with Scientology.

I read DMSMH in college. A friend and I, somewhere in about 1972, went to a "Word Clearing Event" at the Boston Org. We were entirely "raw", and this was pretty weird to both of us. I ended up in their CF.

For YEARS I was bombarded with promo and mailings. It was amazing. I would come home from a college course, open the door to the apartment, and find STACKS of mail from various Churches of Scientology. Realize that I had ZERO contact with Scientology after the event. Never entered the org, never spoke to anybody on the phone.

Then, in 1976 I read DMSMH again, and decided that "before going to India to find a Guru", that I might want to address my totally "out of control inner yapping and noise". I had read Ouspensky's, "The Psychology of Man's Possible Evolution", and ideas from that resonated with me, that "my mind was an out-of-control thinking machine". So, I just walked into the Boston Org and said, "I want to go Clear". "What do I have to do to GET THAT?" I was routed to the Bsn Day Div 2 Reg, Laura Gettler. The OES Bsn Day, Don Currier, and her, spent quite a bit of time "enlightening me".

Anyway, I came to find out later (when I joined staff), that the LETTER REG got the stat for the "start", and possibly also for some or all of the first bundle of money I paid (the "GI"). There was a big argument about it between the Div 2 Reg and the Letter Reg. I remember that various Bsn Day Org staff had questioned me about it, so they could determine WHO "deserved credit for the stats".

See, the Letter Reg wrote me a letter the WEEK before I walked in. She had been sending me letters for YEARS. But get this, she sent the letter, and all the OTHER letters, to my OLD college address that I hadn't been at for at least 3 years!

I had NEVER even READ one of the letters that she sent to me. I never "got the comm".

I forget the name of the Bsn Day Letter Registrar, but she was a very tall girl with BRUTAL blinkless "TRs". "Mary" something I think. :confused2:

I had moved at least 4 or 5 times since graduating college, and had NOT been getting any mail from anything related to Scientology for MANY YEARS. But, I heard various staff say that "the Letter Reg's letters to me caused me to come in - in the THETA UNIVERSE".

Ron says to "PROMOTE until the floors collapse" - yeah, from the weight of the MAIL!

To me, it was totally nuts, how they interpreted what happened in that crazy way.

But THAT is Scientology!

 

[Gadfly]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

By far the greatest case gain a Scientologist can possibly have is from OP PRO BY DUP, aka "Book & Bottle".

Minimally 100 hours of this process is advised in order to attain the most advanced state of awareness and release.

I went exterior on Op Pro By Dup! :confused2:

I co-audited it with Sal Ilasi at the Boston Org in 1976. For about 20-25 hours.

I experienced drastic changes, during and when it ended. Amazing increases in color perception, and an intense feeling of "lightness". Of course, there were times when I wanted to KILL Sal - for instance, when I was hallucinating, when the room was moving like in an LSD trip, or when I was feeling like a 2-ton weight was on top of my head!

When I finally really "blew out", I had to take a walk, for many hours, and refused to go back onto course for a few days. I felt too good. My viewpoint was, "I don't need anythting else right now, I feel great! Go away."

But they didn't go away. Once I was on the hook, so to speak, they wouldn't stop reeling me in . . . . they were relentless!

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

---snipped---
Then, in 1976 I read DMSMH again, and decided that "before going to India to find a Guru...."


I had NEVER even READ one of the letters that she sent to me. I never "got the comm". I had moved at least 4 or 5 times since graduating college, and had NOT been getting any mail from anything related to Scientology for MANY YEARS. But, I heard various staff say that "the Letter Reg's letters to me caused me to come in - in the THETA UNIVERSE".

Interesting!

I was in high school and had started reading DMSMH and other Scn books, as well as some mystical texts. Similarly, I remember telling my parents that I was either going to go to India to find a guru or do Scientology. I guess Scn has won because they have better routing forms.

And as far as the letter reg "causing" you to pay for your bridge (even though you never read any of their letters that were sent to old addresses), the thetan knows.

It doesn't have to make sense; it's Scientology!

 

[Operating DB]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

All that is missing to make Scientology complete & perfect is the laugh track.

CUE AUDIENCE APPLAUSE AS RON TAKES THE MIKE...

RON
Hey you folks look great. I'm so glad to be here.
I almost didn't make it to the Comedy Club tonight because
"I nearly got run over by a train the other day on Venus!"
http://static1.grsites.com/archive/sounds/comic/comic002.wav
But, seriously folks, "I was up in the Van Allen belt
http://static1.grsites.com/archive/sounds/comic/comic002.wav
-- this is factual, and I don't know why they're scared of
the Van Allen belt, because it's simply hot. You'd be surprised how warm space is.
http://static1.grsites.com/archive/sounds/comic/comic002.wav
Get down amongst the clouds and so forth, it can get pretty cold and damp.
But you get well up and sunlight shining around and that sort of thing, it's quite hot.
And the Van Allen belt was radioactively hot. A lot of photons get trapped in that
area and so forth. And I was up there watching the sunrise.
http://static1.grsites.com/archive/sounds/comic/comic002.wav
Well, that was very interesting. And my perception was very good, and
I was taking a look at Norway and Essex and the places around, you know,
and getting myself sort of oriented. And then something happened to me that
I didn't know quite what had happened to me. I thought some facsimiles must
have appeared in front of me, but they didn't look like facsimiles.
http://static1.grsites.com/archive/sounds/comic/comic002.wav
And some other things happened and I had a feeling like I might possibly go into the sun.
http://static1.grsites.com/archive/sounds/comic/comic002.wav
And a few other little uncomfortablenesses there where... That wasn't what awed me.
But I got confused. I got confused because the sun was suddenly larger and
then it was smaller and somehow or another I was doing a change of space
process that I myself was not familiar with.
http://static1.grsites.com/archive/sounds/comic/comic002.wav
And it made me sort of bite off my thetan fingernails just a little bit, you know?"
http://static1.grsites.com/archive/sounds/comic/comic002.wav​

You can start cringing now, because Hubbard actually said all that stuff in "quotes". And Scientologists accepted it. Some even believed it. And we were Scientologists.

FUCKINGCRINGE​

Interspersing that laughter audio track was genius! I nearly fell out of my chair with laughter. Now what we need is someone with the appropriate skills to get that recording of hubbard telling his tall tales and splice in the laughter tracks. What great entertainment that would be!

 

[Gadfly]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

Interesting!

I was in high school and had started reading DMSMH and other Scn books, as well as some mystical texts. Similarly, I remember telling my parents that I was either going to go to India to find a guru or do Scientology. I guess Scn has won because they have better routing forms.

And as far as the letter reg "causing" you to pay for your bridge (even though you never read any of their letters that were sent to old addresses), the thetan knows.

It doesn't have to make sense; it's Scientology!

Hoaxter you mentioned something here that I have often wanted to talk more about.

There are just SO MANY mental techniques and methods out there that will "have major effects" IF YOU JUST DO THEM. That is key - IF you just DO THEM.

But, most are simply in a book, and there is no group of people to "function as support". There is nobody there to encourage you, and keep you moving along. I have no doubt that if some Yogi put his meditation techniques into a strict checksheet form, with lots of theory and practicals, and where you REALLY DO IT, that MANY more people would get "greater results". In a certtain sense, much of the way these "other practices" conduct themselves IS "theetie-wheetie" and "namby-pamby". They just don't get the person to DO IT. In normal language, they are TOO undirected, too lacking in focus. Now, yes, granted, Scientology pushes it WAY TOO FAR in the other direction with all the Tone 40 Intention, "make it go right", "A to B", dedication, and "should-to-shoulder" nonsense. Scientology pushes "get 'er done" to INSANE LIMITS.

You mentioned that "Scientlogy had better routing forms". In fact, they are probably the ONLY ONES who have "routing forms". Obviously, these forms codify the CONTROL at every step along the way. That has obvious downside, but there is an upside.

From another view, Scientology actually gets people to DO SOMETHING "with the mind", and you really have no choice. In just about every other similar subject, there is either NO group at all, and you are left entirely to your own, or whatever group is there is quite scattered, undirected and ever-changing. They are, shall I say, "too democratic". :confused2:

Even Ouspensky states in his book that one needs a "group" to be able to do what he suggests. But, the groups are ever-changing "meet-once-a-week discussion groups", where nobody DOES anything - other than TALK about it.

Most people do NOT have the personal will, intention, discipline or know-how to take something like the ideas mentioned in Ouspensky's book and seriously APPLY them. This is true for a great many ideas in the related fields of meditation, eastern practices and much more. This may sound nuts to some, but I can really see how putting some of this "other practices" stuff into "checksheets", with drills, and practical exerciess would/could make a MAJOR difference.

Hubbard hit the nail on the head when he talked about balancing theory with practicals. Most of this occult stuff is WAY overweighed on the side of thinkingness (ideas, theory, talking about it), and very weak on doingness (drills, exercises, practical exercises).

It wasn't that and isn't that Scientology processes are anything special. But, Hubbard managed to get people to actually sit down and DO THE DRILLS.

Hubbard says somewhere that "just doing a program and getting it done, is FAR more important than the content of the program". I don't agree completely, but I get his point. With the way Scientology is set up, it gets the person to do something. And the "what" is nowhere as important in the equation as the fact that it gets you to actually DO SOMETHING.

I feel that this point is largely overlooked.

For instance, I have studied many books and essays on visualization. But, taking the ideas, taking the theory and putting it into practice is very difficult for most people. What is missing is some simple outline of steps to get the student to study, understand and especially, APPLY the materials.

Hubbard was GOOD at that, and that part of his stuff makes sense to me. His theory on getting a person to study and DO something. But he also interwove a great deal of NONSENSE into the subject materials, and force-fed IDEOLOGY along with the processes and techniques.

The above only grazes on this point, and maybe someday I will give it more attention. But now, I want to play my guitar!!!!!!

 

[GoNuclear]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

Interspersing that laughter audio track was genius! I nearly fell out of my chair with laughter. Now what we need is someone with the appropriate skills to get that recording of hubbard telling his tall tales and splice in the laughter tracks. What great entertainment that would be!

I wonder how it would be now, listening to those tapes after smoking a phatty with friends.

Pete

 

[AngeloV]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

I wonder how it would be now, listening to those tapes after smoking a phatty with friends.

Pete

Phrankly I think it would be hil-phucking-larious.

 

[Operating DB]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

I wonder how it would be now, listening to those tapes after smoking a phatty with friends.

Pete

I wrote about the same thought on here on some long forgotten post. It would be even phunnier with the lectures enhanced with the laugh track included or other gut busting creative ways to make lrh even more buffonish than he already was. My TA would be floating for eons.

 

[guanoloco]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

...where man is free to rise to greater heights...​

Have you ever noticed that virtually every single epithet and marketing slogan of Scientology is a complete, utter and total reversal?

Just think of the time, money and resources that were expended for the above picture.

The designing of the squirrel logo, the t-shirts, the cameras, the plane tickets - somebody did an admin scale, you just know it!

And get this! These people are adults who have spent tens and hundreds of thousands of dollars studying sanity!

Sanity as taped out by L. Ron, no less!

If that isn't proof that Ron's tech works than I don't know what is.




Scientology brings the best out in people...

 

[guanoloco]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

Have you ever thought what culture would be like if L. Ron had control?

How "sane" would things be?

Remember how hypercritical old Ronny is of virtually every single aspect of society?

Just muse for a moment on all the peanut pushing, overboarding people who can't swim, children in chain lockers...

...life could be a dream, sweetheart!

 

[guanoloco]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

Here's a stupid:

So when the Lisa McPherson thing occurred a Scientologist took it upon themselves to enlighten me as to where "you" would go if you were dying? Wouldn't you want to be among friends?

It just all made sense from that viewpoint.

That is...if your friends are door wardens and chamber maids who can't speak English and a room full of cockroaches.

Flag Land Base in Florida...“The Friendliest Place in the Whole World”​

Another reversal.

 

[guanoloco]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

Here's another stupid for the day:

So how much is spent on these [STRIKE]Idiot[/STRIKE] Ideal Orgs anyway?

Just think of the expense in terms of cash, manpower, planning, resources - yadda, yadda, yadda.

Then comes the BIG day! And since we're talking about L. Ron's Scientology and L. Ron was the greatest, friendliest, longest, earliest, youngest, first, most, best then you know what BIG is!

Hundreds, if not thousands, of people are flown in from all over the globe! Press releases and the government and city officials and PR, PR, PR and all that.

The call-in - let me tell ya'! It's incessant!

Finally it's time to go and see it and all that and the special Sea Org personnel, those beings in charge of bringing Earth out of its prison aberration and putting Ethics in on the planet and sanity and all that, their put in charge to make it go right and pull it off without any flaps and all that.

They call you up and INSIST that you attend.

OK! What are the directions?

...............................................................................................uh?


THEY DON'T FUCKING EVEN KNOW HOW TO GET TO THE ORG!!!!

What dumb ass wouldn't have something as basic as that taped next to each phone?

Knowing how to know and all that...the place selling the secrets to the universe and all time and space and they can't even answer a simple question like "what's the directions?".



L. Ron Hubbard, indeed!

ML,

guano

 

[guanoloco]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

...creating islands of sanity...​

 

[guanoloco]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

Scientology - where you're so busy handling Hubbard's madness that you don't have time for your own...and that's a win!

 

[guanoloco]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

Scientology - where you read all about handling your case that has been the ruin of all time and the dwindling spiral and all that and the solution is no one has a right to a reactive mind, there is no case on post and quit being a victim - you mocked it up!

That will be $500,000, please.

Scientology is its own Dev-T...

 

[guanoloco]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

this guy wrote a bunch of books
laced them with his sucker hooks
each one I swallowed and took
what a conniving Commodore Crook

A civilization without insanity, without criminals and without war, where the able can prosper and honest beings can have rights...​

 

[Gadfly]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

A civilization without insanity, without criminals and without war, where the able can prosper and honest beings can have rights...

That is an admirable goal. It really is.

Too bad that it has absolutely NOTHING to do with Scientology!!!!!

Hubbard was a master at putting really "nice" and "great" ideas out there, with which to attract and hook his followers. But again, too bad that actual Scientology never could and never will actually do anything to REALIZE such a lofty and worthwhile goal. It is all PR. The lofty ideals are LIES used to trick good and decent people into contributing to the scam.

This nice slogans and ideals were and remain THE BAIT. As in, BAIT 'N SWITCH. But, the Scientology followers never quite notice that what they are getting is NOT at all what was "promised".

 

[guanoloco]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

Hey...does anybody remember this gem?

HCO PL 9 Feb 79R Issue II "How to defeat Verbal Tech Checklist":

1. “If it isn't written it isn't true.
2. If it's written, read it.
3. Did the person who wrote it have the authority or know-how to order it?
4. If you can't understand it, clarify it.
5. If you can't clarify it, clear the Mis-Us.
6. If the Mis-Us won't clear, query it.
7. Has it been altered from the original?
8. Get it validated as a correct, on-channel, on-policy, in-tech order.
9. IF IT CAN'T BE RUN THROUGH AS ABOVE IT'S FALSE! CANCEL IT!
And use HCOB 7 Aug 79, FALSE DATA STRIPPING, as needed.
10. Only if it holds up this far, force others to read it and follow it.” LRH


WOW! Point number three...hmmmm...how does someone like Hubbard have the know how to write about sanity, ethics, solving crime and the 2D as in not irregular practices?

I know...I know...the military looked and couldn't find any neurotic or psychotic tendencies what-so-ever but the FBI merely glanced at a couple of his letters and stamped his file "appears mental".