Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology - PART ONE

[HelluvaHoax!]

Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

...


Based upon extensive wholetrack research and advanced scientific breakthroughs, here is further technical information on ICIs made available for the first time, on this planet.

Idiotic Cult Idiom - abbreviation ICI. A word or grouping of words used by cult members to simultaneously explain failure and elevate the perception (self and others) of status, knowledge, celebrity and/or power. ​

The most effective ICIs are ones that employ grandiose descriptives of mysteriously absent people, places or things which, by inference, the person speaking/thinking the superlative asserts they have direct knowledge of. A few examples follow:

"On this planet" The absent superlative obviously being "other planets" which the person infers they know quite a bit about.

"This lifetime" The speaker apparently has trillions of years of wholetrack recall although unable to remember their name/address from the previous lifetime which might be easily verified.

"In the MEST universe" The speaker of this ICI is apparently very well traveled outside of it as well.

"Safeguarding your eternity" The speaker, unlike yourself, obviously holds the secret and transcendent key to your forever future, which can be yours merely by writing a MEST check in the MEST universe, on this planet.
​

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

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Maybe one of the stupidest things in Scientology is the "tech" of "Wrong Indications".

Any time a cult member doesn't like something they can ignore it by saying: "That's a Wrong Indication".

It's part of how they get the win called Cognition Dissonance.

But, what happens when somebody says something that is true about the lies of L. Ron Hubbard or the hoax called OT?

I was trying to remember how I thought decades ago when I was a staff member. What if an Anonymous protester showed up back then, what would I have thought? Here is the most honest, simplest, direct & most hilarious protest sign I have ever seen.

Scientology: Where the SPs are actually the real humanitarians.



ps: that sign is pretty much the exact sentiment as the last 4 words in my sig line. ​

 

[Infinite]

Re: *** HUBBARD LAWS UPDATED (February 11, 2013) ***

.....


By popular demand (from the group bank), here is the compleat list of HUBBARD LAWS, which I shall endeavor to keep updated, unless I am spirited away by volunteer ministers wearing head cams. . .

It all began with a real scientist, Sir Isaac Newton, and his celebrated (and testable) 17th century discovery, the Newton's Law of Motion--"For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction." (Newton's 3rd Law)

​

IMPORTANT READER NOTE: Dr. Hubbard has confirmed that his Laws are senior to, and therefore far more powerful than Earth's laughable so-called science. Dr. Hubbard also discovered that his Laws are also far more valuable and admonishes the able to not waste money on human science when it could be much more wisely invested in advanced intergalactic, wholetrack OT science:


HUBBARD'S LAW OF COMMOTION: For each and every policy or piece of tech, there is an equal and opposite policy and piece of tech. [Example: Scientology's Creed which imparts all mankind inalienable rights to free speech and thought, whereas anyone attempting to practice same (e.g. Paulette Cooper) is condemned to a Fair Game death sentence]

HUBBARD'S LAW OF 10: Even if a Scientologist had 10 dictionaries, 10 word clearers and 10 pounds of clay, they could not possibly understand it. Because of the 10 points of KSW. [Example: A Scientologist could not possibly understand or "clear" the definition of the word "cult" or for that matter the word "Clear" itself. ]

HUBBARD'S LAW OF COGNITION DISSONANCE: For every cognition or win there is mental confusion and/or loss of comparable or greater magnitude. [Example: You go Clear and are totally safe & free from the eternal suffering of the reactive mind. However, at the moment you go Clear you are plunged head-first into the Non-Interfence Area where you are totally at risk & trapped in the eternal suffering of the reactive minds (of aliens)].

HUBBARD'S LAW OF FREEDOM: Freedom is never free because the out exchange makes people into criminals who need to be locked up and denied freedom. [Example: While a Scientologist is a "Volunteer Minister" to the world and happily shows up at the scene of an accident to give an assist to the victim, per the HCOPL Free Service Free Fall, if that same accident victim somehow wandered away from the scene of the accident and made it to an Org, they would not be helped by auditors unless they had a paid invoice.]

THE HUBBARD EXCEPTIONAL LAW OF PTS EXCEPTIONS: There shall be no exceptions to PTSness being caused by an SP except where the SP is higher on the command channel. Thus, people who roller coaster in the presence of big beings like Ron are actually PTS to themselves because of their own inherent evil (see List One R/Ser).


HUBBARD LAW OF CRITICISM: All criticism is caused by a missed withhold. Except when Ron & Scientologists criticize people. That is caused when a Scientologist misses a withhold on an SP and they pull in the 'gradients of ethics' which requires that the SP be criticized in order to salvage them.

HUBBARD LAW OF 100% [STRIKE]INERTIAL[/STRIKE] COMMERCIAL TECHNOLOGY: Any tech that works 100% of the time tends to work 100% of the time, unless acted upon by something that the 100% tech cannot handle, such as low toned and suppressive people, which cause one to roller coaster and lose all case gain. However, since the 100% tech states that the tech will not work in the presence of such evil people, the 100% tech actually therefore does work 100% of the time.

HUBBARD LAW OF WORD CLEARING: 1. That study technology that utilizes dictionaries to define each meaning of a word and use it in sentences until the point of full conceptual understanding and with enough practice the attainment of Super Literacy (and Super Literal-acy). 2. That study technology that addresses a SuperLiterate who yet still has disagreements with Hubbard's technology, advancing them to an even higher state of Super Allegor-acy, wherein they transcend the MEST-bound meanings of words and perceive their true, ARC-ful and ethical essence in the theta universe, in proper alignment with the Founder's (and/or a bigger being in Scientology management's) wishes. [Example: A Superliterate student on OT III must be able to recite and demonstrate the exact & literal, word-for-word sequence of events 75M years ago where Xenu implanted trillions of body thetans and transported them to Teegeack. After the Scientologist has completed the auditing and removal of all Body Thetans, they achieve Allegor-acy, a skill very useful during radio interviews when asked what their beliefs are about Xenu.]

HUBBARD LAW OF CLARIFICATION & CLEARIFICATION: For every 12.5 hours a person spends diligently clearing words & definitions, studying and/or clearing concepts about anything related to Scientology, Hubbard or another Scientologist spends 12.5 hours ensuring that the same information remains hidden, obfuscated, confused or otherwise incomprehensibly un-clear.

------ UPDATES------​

HUBBARD RULE OF 24 (aka "The 24 Hour Rule"): No period of 24 hours ever passes without a Scientologist at least once imagining themselves existing within the delusional Hubbardian cosmology and speaking and/or thinking the correspondent self-congratulatory ICI ("Idiotic Cult Idiom"). [Example: An OT at McDonalds is served a burger with ketchup instead of the mustard they ordered. A WOG would think: "WTF!?" and send it back. An OT would think: "Beings cannot duplicate on this planet!" thereby simultaneously explaining the failed postulate and elevating their own status by assuring self/others that they are quite familiar with standard burger tech on other planets.]

Thank you so much. I shall update my short-cut to The Laws to link to this update. A question, Prof, if you don't mind: "The C³ Equation" - which provides mathematical proof that all Scientologists will eventually declare all Scientologists to be SPs - where does that fit in? Could it, perhaps, be considered as Axiom 0 seeing as how it is an extrapolation of these underlying Laws?

There is such profound confusion Scientologists already have about Hubbard's definitions, owing to the Hubbard Law of Commotion, when the cult bifurcates into new denominations (Indie, FZ, Ron's Org, Mark's Org, et al) the cult members' exponential disorientation can be expressed mathematically as:

C³ ​

It defines the product of the equation: (C) x (C) x (C); where:

C = Cult Member's naive Conclusions & Confidence.

C = Confused Concepts that cannot be Cleared.

C = Contradictory Cult Concoctions, Contrivances & Concealments.​

Every Hubbard cult faction has their own peculiar definitions for the same terms.

Scientologists cannot even agree on a simple term like "SP".

Hubbard defines SP and lists the crimes and high crimes like squirreling, breaking away from the COS, not Keeping Scientology Working by altering even a word of his scripture, et al.

Then Indies commit an incalculable number of those high crimes, teach that OT III is an allegory and never really happened, squirrel the Bridge and other sacred abominations. But the Indies constantly talk about KSW and keeping the tech pure. And they declare the leaders of COS to be SPs.

The COS declares Indies SPs, just as Ron would have. And they Fair Game Indies just as Ron dictated in policies.

But, then the Indies (knowing that Ron would destroy them if he had the chance) say that Ron is their "greatest friend" and they dedicate their lives to "flowing power" to the Commodore.

So, Indies declares COS Scientologists and COB an SP. COS declares Indies are SP. Both Indies and COS thinks the FZ and Ron's Org and Bakerologists and ESMBers are SPs. The real SPs (Scientologists applying the SP tech) say that SPs don't apply the SP tech because they are SPs. But they don't apply the SP tech, which is okay because they are KSW.

It doesn't have to make sense; it's Scientology.

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

Re: *** HUBBARD LAWS UPDATED (February 11, 2013) ***

Thank you so much. I shall update my short-cut to The Laws to link to this update. A question, Prof, if you don't mind: "The C³ Equation" - which provides mathematical proof that all Scientologists will eventually declare all Scientologists to be SPs - where does that fit in? Could it, perhaps, be considered as Axiom 0 seeing as how it is an extrapolation of these underlying Laws?

Weeeeeeee! I think you have asked a great question. I went barreling down the wholetrack in search of an answer and re-researched the Gorilla Goal Implants which, owing to a new discovery, are now called the GGI Expanded.

It may even be a new Hubbard law....not sure yet. It would be something like:

THE HUBBARD LAW OF DECLARATIONS: A formula by which the right SP is always detected and declared with the stats once again soaring, based upon a the equation:

[(CE)(CS]³=SP(d)(t)​

Where CE represents "Cult Evil" and CS is "Cult Stupidity"; and that sum is cubed, as follows: cult member's Crazily Confident Conclusions (based upon) Concepts that Cannot be Cleared (made exponentially worse by the cult's) Contradictory Concealments & Corruption. And d stands for "declared" with t being "time".

I am still working it out, but the equation guarantees that, given enough time, all Scientologists will eventually declare all other people who apply Scientology (e.g. Indies) and all people who do not apply Scientology (wogs) to be SPs. And the declaring Scientologists, themselves, will be declared SP by the SPs or other followers of Ron Hubbard who also happen to own golden paper and a mimeo machine.

 

[Gadfly]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

Don't forget to include the most import "C" of all - CERTAINTY.

Without cult-conditioned certainty, the equation might not be as 100% exact as it would otherwise be.

Now, where it fits in the equation exactly is for all you math geniuses to figure out.

Cult-Conditioned Certainty - CCC

 

[A.K. Myers]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

...


Based upon extensive wholetrack research and advanced scientific breakthroughs, here is further technical information on ICIs made available for the first time, on this planet.

Idiotic Cult Idiom - abbreviation ICI. A word or grouping of words used by cult members to simultaneously explain failure and elevate the perception (self and others) of status, knowledge, celebrity and/or power. ​

The most effective ICIs are ones that employ grandiose descriptives of mysteriously absent people, places or things which, by inference, the person speaking/thinking the superlative asserts they have direct knowledge of. A few examples follow:

"On this planet" The absent superlative obviously being "other planets" which the person infers they know quite a bit about.

"This lifetime" The speaker apparently has trillions of years of wholetrack recall although unable to remember their name/address from the previous lifetime which might be easily verified.

"In the MEST universe" The speaker of this ICI is apparently very well traveled outside of it as well.

"Safeguarding your eternity" The speaker, unlike yourself, obviously holds the secret and transcendent key to your forever future, which can be yours merely by writing a MEST check in the MEST universe, on this planet.
​

Brilliant observation! I still find myself referring to people that
I don't respect as "humanoids."

 

[Ogsonofgroo]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

Some more new CoS stupidity! YAY!

[video=vimeo;59455914]http://vimeo.com/59455914#[/video]

The awshum WWP thread ~ HERE

The stupid-stats on my Cult-O-Meter hit a floating 9/10! Be it duly noted that people practicing Jedi (ism?) outnumber scilons at least 10-1 world wide

 

[guanoloco]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

Ever notice that if you want to do an OT level or two Scientology wants proof that you're eligible and that you've contributed enough for world Clearing but if you ask for any verifiable proof of the OT state then you have a hidden standard, an open mind and are PTS?

Is that stupid?

 

[Rene Descartes]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

Uh guys...

(and gals)...

Uh I receieved a mailing yesterday from ASHO (or maybe it was AOLA) and they (the CoS) have now got the FSMs not only FSMing people to do services but now they also have them out grabbing donations to help in the expansion of their great syndicate.

One of the FSMs was elated over this new undertaking.

Does Marty know about this?

Not that it matters, but this is interesting indeed.

Rd00

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

Ever notice that if you want to do an OT level or two Scientology wants proof that you're eligible and that you've contributed enough for world Clearing but if you ask for any verifiable proof of the OT state then you have a hidden standard, an open mind and are PTS?

Is that stupid?

Ahhhh, yes! The mystically powerful "Hidden Standard" which assigns the pc's case as the reason that the tech does not appear to work. Since it is their restimulated bank that is causing them to say that "it doesn't work", they must pay for more tech to remedy that dramatization.

And here is the miraculous question, per the Book Of Case Remedies, that solves it: "What would have to happen for you to know that Scientology worked?"

There is an infinitely better question for a Scientologist to ask themselves, at no expense:

WHAT WOULD HAVE TO HAPPEN FOR YOU TO
KNOW THAT SCIENTOLOGY DOESN'T WORK?

​

That is exactly what keeps Scientologists trapped in the cult's delusional mind control. Despite compelling and overwhelming proof that it doesn't work, they can never admit it to themselves.

It usually requires the cult personally abusing them and destroying their "dynamics" to such an extent that the Scientologist realizes they are hopelessly broke, losing their family, going insane or becoming suicidal.

Wouldn't it be a fascinating experiment to run that command on Scientologists and Indie Scientologists? Probably their first answer to the command would be: "But it does work!" That's where the repetitive commands come in handy. LOL


​

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

Uh guys...

(and gals)...

Uh I receieved a mailing yesterday from ASHO (or maybe it was AOLA) and they (the CoS) have now got the FSMs not only FSMing people to do services but now they also have them out grabbing donations to help in the expansion of their great syndicate.

One of the FSMs was elated over this new undertaking.

Does Marty know about this?

Not that it matters, but this is interesting indeed.

Rd00

Perfect!

Fully consistent with the fact that the actual VFP of Scientology and the entire Bridge is:

A hatted and productive Scientology salesman.

​

Cult of Cash Creed : "If it's not selling, it's not Scientology!"​

 

[Gib]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

Fully consistent with the fact that the actual VFP of Scientology and the entire Bridge is:

A hatted and productive Scientology salesman.

​

​

Yep. And they work as volunteers.

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

Yep. And they work as volunteers.

I am wondering if they are still hiring. It sounds like an outstanding career opportunity. Let's see. . .

Training time to learn the job: Estimated time 20 years.

Cost to learn the job: Estimated $500,000, paid for by the job applicant.

Salary & Incentives: Volunteer. No salary. However, there is an Incentive that if you do a lot of sales they won't disconnect your children or kill your pets.​

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

WHOA! REALLY? LOL

...

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

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[oldtimer]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

100 is not nearly enough.

I don't know about stupidest moments, but when I got into Scientology in the '70s the buzz phrase was "Clear the Planet". Is that one still around? Thanks if anyone knows.

 

[ChuckNorrisCutsMyLawn]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

I don't know about stupidest moments, but when I got into Scientology in the '70s the buzz phrase was "Clear the Planet". Is that one still around? Thanks if anyone knows.

Yeah they kind of missed that goal

http://www.docstoc.com/docs/8743096...-to-Reach-Goal-of-Clearing-the-Planet-by-1969

Here it is 2013 and they haven't even cleared the sidewalk on L. Ron Hubbard Way

[video=youtube;JvB4PqH6FwU]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JvB4PqH6FwU[/video]

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

I don't know about stupidest moments, but when I got into Scientology in the '70s the buzz phrase was "Clear the Planet". Is that one still around? Thanks if anyone knows.

Sure, "Clear the Planet" is still in wide usage--one of two goals that L. Ron Hubbard has delegated to Scientologists while he is tied up on other important business.

The other one is "Salvage this Sector".

Senior Scientologists determine which one to use, based upon your havingness and bank account balance.

 

[guanoloco]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

Is it just me or are these guys ingesting the same drugs?

 

[Idle Morgue]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

I am wondering if they are still hiring. It sounds like an outstanding career opportunity. Let's see. . .

Training time to learn the job: Estimated time 20 years.

Cost to learn the job: Estimated $500,000, paid for by the job applicant.

Salary & Incentives: Volunteer. No salary. However, there is an Incentive that if you do a lot of sales they won't disconnect your children or kill your pets.​

Yeah but...L Ron Hubbard did say "you can't mix money with religion" so that is the reason no pay - poverty - no bridge - no nothing. We are dealing with broken pieces here Hoaxie - and the big beings like David Miscavige and Tom Cruise know that the rest of us are degraded beings that don't deserve to go free until the db's get the "show on the road". The DB's don't know their ain't NO SHOW~ it is confidential information that only the Oat Teas at the top of the bridge will know - and at the top - there is nothing to know...but the Oat Teas think they know. A cluster fuck for sure!!

This ^ ensures a very nice lifestyle for COB, David Miscavige!!