Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology - PART ONE

[HelluvaHoax!]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

...

That last post could be a tech breakthrough on how to handle that SuperCringey feeling when thinking about how stupid I was to try to go Clear and OT. LOL.

It sounds so much better in another language!

For example, if someone asks me if I was really in the cult of Scientology, I effortlessly just break into a crazy-cool-sounding Italian riff. . .

Dio, non posso credere a quanto dannatamente stupido sono stato!


​

(don't forget to listen to the audio link. lol) ​

 

[guanoloco]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

..

Cross Posted from another thread on how the NOI Dianeticists have their own special Grade Chart to go "Clear" on Dianetics Book I alone, which is different than all the rest of Scientologists who have to..um, use Scientology.

STUPID!

---------------------------------------------------​

The entire idea of TWO (2) different "standard" auditing routes to Clear is ludicrous.

If a person could go Clear on Book I alone, then Scientologists are stupid to be paying fortunes to go Clear using Scientology.

If a person can't go Clear on Book I alone, then NOI Dianeticists are stupid to be paying to go Clear using Dianetics.

Or, actually, since NEITHER way arrives at Clear, both ways are totally retarded ideas.

So, then, what do I think about my own participation in both Dianetics and Scientology? Je suis retardé!!! lol



But, mon ami, why in French? Click on the audio link to hear how it makes me sound cool and not so cringey. lol

OMFG!! Link that thread I must see this NOI grade chart! Please tell me it's posted!

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

OMFG!! Link that thread I must see this NOI grade chart! Please tell me it's posted!

The NOI Grade Chart is not posted. That's the point! It's KSW Standard Tech by fiat.

Making the shit up as they go along, in Hubbard cowboy fashion.

Fiat -noun.

1: a command or act of will that creates something without or as if without further effort

2: an authoritative determination : dictate <a fiat of conscience>

3: an authoritative or arbitrary order : decree <government byfiat>

 

[guanoloco]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

I'm about to release the [STRIKE]crowing[/STRIKE] crowning glory of Scientology stupid. I am so effing stupid beyond comparison to have ever been duped by Scientology that I absolutely, positively have to be and must be batshit crazy beyond your wildest imagination! This stuff is from Face's awesome Shooting Stars thread (an absolute MUST read).

First of all, uncover posted this:

A small present for Face - "The Apollo Stars" and their PoS now in full length on youtube (HD):

[video=youtube;Be1Pbk8EyCo]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Be1Pbk8EyCo[/video]

WARNING !!! This PoS is only something for trained hardcore-listeners. But it can be used for cramming of your OT TR0. Sit down, listen and relax for 34 minutes.... if you can.

...then Veda posted this:

...Cakemaker said this:

That album cover belongs in the Hall of Shame - amongst the worst album covers of the past 75 million years.

...Face clarified with this:

-snip-

BTW, as I Posted earlier on ESMB, Hisself also selected the photo for the Album cover, approved the the back cover layout and "graphics" and my initial reaction to the record and dust jacket was, "Holy F'n S...WTF?!"

Face

Keep in mind that Ron was Arp Cola, the very being who created music first, best, most, earliest on the wholetrack - music did not exist before Ron created it when he was Arp Cola.

I am soooooooooooooooo embarrASSed that the word cringe just somehow does not express the shame, blame, regret.

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

,,

Nominated for one of the Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology is the many iterations of Scientologist that continue to spew forth from the simple fact that the tech did not work.

Now there are COS Scientologists, Indie Scientologists, KSW Ex-Indie Scientologists. Ron's Org Scientologists, Freezone Scientologists.....

They are all desperate for answers why the tech did not work, each offering their own new assured hyperbolic promise that it will, for sure, work in the future.

What is the real difference between all these "brands" of Scientology? Let's see. . .

COS Scientologist: Ron is Kha-Khan.

Indie Scientologist: The COS is Kha-Ching.

KSW Ex-Indie Scientologist: The Indie movement is Kha-Put.

Ex Scientologist: The tech is Kha-Kha.
​

We are still waiting for a response from Ron's Org Scientologists. They were temporarily tied up patrolling the Galaxy.

[video=youtube;A5qOxlC61Xo]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A5qOxlC61Xo[/video]​

 

[Operating DB]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

,,

Nominated for one of the Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology is the many iterations of Scientologist that continue to spew forth from the simple fact that the tech did not work.

Now there are COS Scientologists, Indie Scientologists, KSW Ex-Indie Scientologists. Ron's Org Scientologists, Freezone Scientologists.....

They are all desperate for answers why the tech did not work, each offering their own new assured hyperbolic promise that it will, for sure, work in the future.

What is the real difference between all these "brands" of Scientology? Let's see. . .

COS Scientologist: Ron is Kha-Khan.

Indie Scientologist: The COS is Kha-Ching.

KSW Ex-Indie Scientologist: The Indie movement is Kha-Put.

Ex Scientologist: The tech is Kha-Kha.
​

We are still waiting for a response from Ron's Org Scientologists. They were temporarily tied up patrolling the Galaxy.

[video=youtube;A5qOxlC61Xo]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A5qOxlC61Xo[/video]​

Hoaxie you slay me with your wit and comedy! Kha-Ching, Kha-Put, Kha-Kha! LOLOLOLOL

As for that Galactic Patrol song, that had me in tears. Not tears of inspiration or laughs, but tears of cringe. I don't know which is more cringy: "Galactic Patrol" or "Thanks for Listening", Ron's platinum selling single.

 

[guanoloco]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

I want to hear Leif Garrett and Frank Stallone sing "Get On The Road To Stupid!"

 

[guanoloco]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

The NOI Grade Chart is not posted. That's the point! It's KSW Standard Tech by fiat.

Making the shit up as they go along, in Hubbard cowboy fashion.

If you only knew how much I love that picture! Used to have a framed 8x10 on my desk or near it and how I wish I took it with!

 

[guanoloco]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

OK, it's a suppressive act to close an org.

The Guardian's Office was a Ron created org.

David MESTquirrelage closed the Ron created Guardian's Office org which is a suppressive act.

Is there something stupid here?

 

[Loohan]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

Keep in mind that Ron was Arp Cola, the very being who created music first, best, most, earliest on the wholetrack - music did not exist before Ron created it when he was Arp Cola.

I am soooooooooooooooo embarrASSed that the word cringe just somehow does not express the shame, blame, regret.

I wonder why they never played this at events. Seems to me that would really have worked some magic at sucking people in.

The org where i worked had the LP, but somehow i don't recall anyone ever playing it. Yet, we couldn't sell anyone else's books after the early '80s. We didn't plaster anybody else's pic all over the bldg. We didn't even let anyone have any thoughts that weren't Ron's. Yet play his music?

 

[guanoloco]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

I wonder why they never played this at events. Seems to me that would really have worked some magic at sucking people in.

The org where i worked had the LP, but somehow i don't recall anyone ever playing it. Yet, we couldn't sell anyone else's books after the early '80s. We didn't plaster anybody else's pic all over the bldg. We didn't even let anyone have any thoughts that weren't Ron's. Yet play his music?

They used to play The Road to Freedom to the point of maniacal suicide/homicide...make you dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb!

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

,,
cross posted from another thread...

Originally Posted by Bill
I don't doubt for a minute that Scientology "does something", I've never said otherwise. My continuing point is that it isn't predictable, consistent or reliable in what it produces -- and that it never, ever produced the promised miracles.

While I admire your optimism, I think, after sixty years, tens of thousands of practitioners and, perhaps, tens of millions of hours of processing, that if Scientologywere capable of producing any of its miracles, it would have done so.

For some people, Scientology makes them feel good and they feel they are "improving". That's great. No problem. Same thing for people in many, many other belief systems, technologies and practices. For those who get something "good" out of one of these practices, wonderful! But a key point is that Scientology does not produce anything different from these other practices.

There is no result from Scientology that is unique to Scientology -- except it does significantly more harm than most other such systems, technologies and practices. And, as you say, it consistently produces ex-Scientologists.

I make this point because Scientology uses its descriptions and promises of "miraculous gains" in order to trap people. That's why each time someone makes claims that Scientology produces "Releases", "Clears", "OTs", "cures this", says "Scientology can handle that" or "Scientology could help X" it is important to point out that it is all complete bullshit.

Any "gains" from Scientology are because the person believed and was capable of making the improvement on their own. Scientology was incidental at best and could be replaced by any practice that allows the practitioner to make such realizations.

I say, defuse the trap, always debunk Scientology's bogus claims.

Bill

Good points. However, there is another dimension to all the Scientologists babbling about their "wins" and "case gain" and "cogs".

Even granting, hypothetically, that such scientifically provable "results" are brought about by the "tech", on what basis could one reasonably conclude that the "gain", was ultimately beneficial to the participant? To illustrate, here is a comparable (unnamed) self-help therapy that produced remarkably similar gains to those of Scientology.

CASE STUDY (Therapy Modality #23)1:
One hundred (100) test subjects participated in double-blind study conducted over a period of one (1) year wherein a personal daily journal was maintained by the subject memorializing the perceived (subjective) benefits of Self-Help Modality #23. Unknown to the subject, a continuous 24 video surveillance of the subject's activities was maintained at the individual's home, work and random social interactions (e.g. shopping, recreation, restaurants, et al).

Indexing Of Cognitive Benefits: For purposes of this study, only positive results which were logged into the journal (subjective) and independently confirmed by the video surveillance (objective) were designated as "benefits". A representative sampling is provided herein for illustrative purposes:
​

Date: March 17, 1984:
Subjective: Subject log entry reported during the two-hour therapy session their mood was substantially elevated, accompanied by a significant release of stress, sudden cessation of depressive ideation and frequent laughter.
Objective: Video surveillance confirmed that subject entered the session with serious demeanor and monotonous voice pattern which over the course of the therapy session transitioned to frequent smiling and loud bursts of sustained laughter.​

Clearly, the above example would indicate that the technology was producing a beneficial effect, much like Scientology produces. Or so it seems.

Unfortunately, the double-blind study was necessarily aborted prior to the full one-year term, due to the frequency of unexpected (personal) scheduling conflicts which arose with an uncharacteristically high percentage of the 100 test subjects. By way of example, some of those subjects had personal medical issues or legal issues (e.g. cirrhosis, DUI convictions, et al).

In case any readers find this kind of purely technical information interesting, the "Therapy Modality" employed in that study was addressing manic depression through an pharmacological agent (C2H5OH).

Outside of the scientific community, this is commonly referred to as "whiskey".

This defines the core problem with Scientology, even given the unproven hypothesized scenario where it "works". No value has been assigned to the net gain or loss to the individual being administered doses of the "tech".

Ergo. . .yet another Hubbard Law.



HUBBARD'S LAW OF COGNITION DISSONANCE: For every cognition or win there is mental confusion and/or loss of comparable or greater magnitude.






1: CASE STUDY (Therapy Modality #23): Okay, I made it up like Scientology makes everything up, so what? LOL

 

[Karen#1]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

From: "Jessica Pruett" <[email protected]>
Date: March 17, 2013, 10:20:09 PM GMT+01:00
Subject: Your Suppression Test
Reply-To: [email protected]




NAME:_____________________ DATE:____________



CASE LEVEL:________________ TRAINING LEVEL_________



E-Mail:____________________

Please answer these questions regarding indicators of suppression in your life - and find out what you can do about it. Answer yes or no under each question)

1. I behave in a crippled manner in life, failing, not succeeding. (Y) (N)



2. I have chronic problems. (Y) (N)


3. I make mistakes. (Y) (N)


4. I dramatize a can't have. (Y) (N)



5. I have had a low level of production. (Y) (N)


6. I experience indecision. (Y) (N)


7. I have accidents and feel under stress. (Y) (N)


8. I find myself pulling in and occupying less space and reaching less. (Y) (N)


9. I have many incomplete cycles in life. (Y) (N)



10. I tend to be low key and hope I am not noticed. (Y) (N)



11. I would like to come to ASHO in the future to do the PTS/SP Course so I can confront and shatter any suppression in my life. (Y) (N)



Send your answers in to your Letter Reg, I am interested and will help you with what came up on the test. I want to help you to flourish and prosper in life!


© 2013 CSWUS. All rights reserved. Saint Hill, The Bridge and Scientology are trademarks and service marks owned by Religious Technology Center and are used with its permission. Services relating to Scientology Religious philosophy are delivered exclusively by licensees of the Church of Scientology International with the permission of Religious Technology Center, holder of the SCIENTOLOGY and DIANETICS trademarks. Printed in USA.

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Sent from the Church of Scientology Western United States

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[Stat]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

That's like a shorter version of OCA test! ^^^
Just as funny, unsubstantiated and... yes, stupid.
Lame attempt to maintain the control, at best.

Thanks, Karen#1. Great find/catch

SNL, should really take notes.

 

[guanoloco]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

From: "Jessica Pruett" <[email protected]>
Date: March 17, 2013, 10:20:09 PM GMT+01:00
Subject: Your Suppression Test
Reply-To: [email protected]




NAME:_____________________ DATE:____________


9
CASE LEVEL:________________ TRAINING LEVEL_________



E-Mail:____________________

Please answer these questions regarding indicators of suppression in your life - and find out what you can do about it. Answer yes or no under each question)

1. I behave in a crippled manner in life, failing, not succeeding. (Y) (N)



2. I have chronic problems. (Y) (N)


3. I make mistakes. (Y) (N)


4. I dramatize a can't have. (Y) (N)



5. I have had a low level of production. (Y) (N)


6. I experience indecision. (Y) (N)


7. I have accidents and feel under stress. (Y) (N)


8. I find myself pulling in and occupying less space and reaching less. (Y) (N)


9. I have many incomplete cycles in life. (Y) (N)



10. I tend to be low key and hope I am not noticed. (Y) (N)



11. I would like to come to ASHO in the future to do the PTS/SP Course so I can confront and shatter any suppression in my life. (Y) (N)



Send your answers in to your Letter Reg, I am interested and will help you with what came up on the test. I want to help you to flourish and prosper in life!


© 2013 CSWUS. All rights reserved. Saint Hill, The Bridge and Scientology are trademarks and service marks owned by Religious Technology Center and are used with its permission. Services relating to Scientology Religious philosophy are delivered exclusively by licensees of the Church of Scientology International with the permission of Religious Technology Center, holder of the SCIENTOLOGY and DIANETICS trademarks. Printed in USA.

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Sent from the Church of Scientology Western United States

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That describes Mary Sue's life pretty well, huh? Also the average staff member...hmmmmmm...there's something stupid in all of this.

 

[Loohan]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

I just remembered another epic cringe stupid.

BIRTHDAY PRESENTS TO RON

I remember in the mid-80s, the LRH Communicator posting a bulletin of some sort in the public academy about what is an appropriate thing to give Ron for his birthday.
The list only consisted of things that have hard CASH RESALE VALUE. I don't remember all the details, but it was like gold, silver, jewels, valuable coins, etc.
It was so crudely phrased and presented.

Tribute to the emperor.

Of course the staff always had to chip in $5 or so for a present for the Big Guy. When weekly salaries were usually in the $0.00 - $1.83 range.

But there was payback: the staff usually got a Christmas present from Ron to celebrate with; a box of highly preserved chemical cheese spreads, salty crackers, etc. to share.

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

From: "Jessica Pruett" <[email protected]>
Date: March 17, 2013, 10:20:09 PM GMT+01:00
Subject: Your Suppression Test
Reply-To: [email protected]

---snipped----

Send your answers in to your Letter Reg, I am interested and will help you with what came up on the test. I want to help you to flourish and prosper in life!

Thanks Karen! That would kind of be a shame to not answer all those juicy questions as a truthful Scientologist should, wouldn't it? LOL.

----------------------------------------------------

Please answer these questions regarding indicators of suppression in your life - and find out what you can do about it. Answer yes or no under each question)

1. I behave in a crippled manner in life, failing, not succeeding. (Y) (N)
Funny you should ask me that. Aren't you writing me this survey from under your desk where you sleep every night? (Y) (N)


2. I have chronic problems. (Y) (N)
I have isolated the thing that is causing my chronic problems and you said you "...will help me with what came up on the test." It is constantly regged all the time, which drove me into financial ruin & bankruptcy. Will you help me with that, as you promised, by not regging me any more? (Y) (N)


3. I make mistakes. (Y) (N)
I keep paying exorbitant amounts of money to Scientology to handle my financial ruin, because they promise me that if I pay for my next level that I will have wayyyy more money. But then I have wayyyy less money than before. That's a mistake, right? I shouldn't do that any more, right? (Y) (N)


4. I dramatize a can't have. (Y) (N)
That is a truly f*cked up question, even for Scientology. You are saying that the reason I don't have enough money is that I am "dramatizing" something on my case, right? How come, then, my identical twin and equal business partner (who is a WOG) has $500,000 cash investments making him a ton of profit every month and I have $500,000 worth of bank and charge card debt, because I not only spent that same sum on trying to handle my still unhanded "money case", I also donated another $500,000 to the IAS, SuperPower & Ideal Orgs programs which you said would "guarantee" that I would "flourish and prosper"? Did you lie to me? (Y) (N)


5. I have had a low level of production. (Y) (N)
I am not going to answer that question, because not matter how much I have produced for you and Scientology the past 20 years, you demanded 5.4x that much money from me to Clear the planet. In other words, no matter how much I produce, you people "indicate" that it is a "low level of production", right? (Y) (N)


6. I experience indecision. (Y) (N)
Tricky question! If I say "YES" you will tell me I am being controlled and manipulated by SPs and that I need to pay you to fix that, right? But if I say "NO" (that I have decided not to do more Scientology), you will tell me I am being controlled and manipulated by SPs and that I need to pay you to fix that, right? (Y) (N)


7. I have accidents and feel under stress. (Y) (N)
Yesterday, I was knocked off my bicycle by a bus when I was going to work. This never happened before my car was repossessed after the last time you "helped" me handle my finances, remember? (Y) (N)


8. I find myself pulling in and occupying less space and reaching less. (Y) (N)
Well, at least I am not living under my desk, right? (Y) (N)


9. I have many incomplete cycles in life. (Y) (N)
Would Clearing the Planet and Salvaging this Sector be considered "incomplete cycles"? (Y) (N)


10. I tend to be low key and hope I am not noticed. (Y) (N)
I tried that but you sent me to Ethics for not answering your non-stop phone messages and attending "mandatory briefings", remember? (Y) (N)


11. I would like to come to ASHO in the future to do the PTS/SP Course so I can confront and shatter any suppression in my life. (Y) (N)
I don't want to answer that. If I say YES I will need to pay you money to "start a flow" right? And if I answer NO I will need to be "handled" so that my "reality comes up to" realizing that I am under so much suppression that I "can't have" coming there and paying you money, right? (Y) (N)

​

And I have a question for you. Wouldn't it be better if I took any money that I could borrow and invested it in a business to make some more money? Or, used that money to take some classes at the local community college to learn some meaningful financial skills that will allow me to make better decisions/investments with my money? (Y) (N)

You are going to now tell me that the real "WHY" for me not having money is coming from inside my reactive mind, right? And that evil beings called SPs are somehow controlling my reactive mind, right? And that only you can help me find those SPs and get rid of them, right? (Y) (N)

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

Cognition Dissonance

..

*** cross posted from a terrific thread/post from Karen#1. ***

Originally Posted by Karen#1
--snipped for brevity--

​

NUMBER OF BLACK PR HITS AGAINST SCIENTOLOGY - RISING DRASTICALLY​

Conclusion: The enemy is now on death ground....the end is not so far off.​

I see.
Huge PR wins = Winning.
Huge ENTHETA losses = Winning.
Hmmmmmm.......​

Remarkably. . .
In ScientologyWorld, both of these graph
vectors indicate a screaming "POWER" trend.

How is that even possible?

The screaming (up) green is
Power because it is based on
green-on-white policy being
standardly applied which always
booms statistics and proves Scientology works.

The crashing (down) red is
Power because it is based on
red-on-white tech being
standardly applied which always
booms statistics and proves Scientology works.

The green tech works in/on the physical universe.

The red tech works in/on your universe.

Ergo, if the green zone (reality) totally sucks,
one can immediately switch to the red zone
to "change one's consideration" about it and
the uninterrupted F/N expands to dial wide.​

 

[Karen#1]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

I asked Jason Barclay to tell about the finance on Mike Rinder's blog.
Here is his response ~~​

jason barclay says:
March 22, 2013 at 12:54 am

Lets see, all Orgs (Including CLO) were forced to keep their ‘payments to flag’ stats up. Even if they were currently being threatened by DWP for not paying their utilities. Most of the time the payments to Flag stat had to remain much higher then we would receive in commissions. Our ‘commissions’ never seemed to be a part of our weekly FP.

Most of the time Flag would take 25% of what the org made (off the top, not of the net) for it’s “management”.

For the entire time I was there that base owed DWP about $500,000 for back utilities.

The month base DWP cost was about 120-160K – not including CC of course. I think they were loosing a lot of energy somewhere but they wouldn’t buy meters to try and track down where the costs were actually coming from.

LA Org was supposed to actually pay about 30K a month for utilities but were only paying 3K – forcing the other orgs to pick up the burden. Meanwhile LA Org was forced to spend 13K a month on a totally DB test center.

This in generally how I think LA Orgs FP went.

25% off the top to Flag

10% Off the top in FSM commissions

Flat 3k a week to utilities

Flat 1K a month for “staff welfare”

50% of “net” for events and promo

Staff pay was usually $10 a week for a 40hr week.

During the last year somehow the average staff pay rose about 3 times.

Remaining money would go to “everything else” – (Including staff pay) E.G. maintaining the building. My mom had to buy me toilet paper a few times because the money just wasn’t there for Estates. It’s not easy to try to take care of a $10,000,000 building with a combined $400 a week or so lol.

It was never a question to spend a little less in promo for the sake of fixing say, the front door.

In CLO, hard to say. But our FP#1 was like 80K and we made about 20K a week in commissions to other Orgs. The main way we made money was the call center, although we gave a lot of commissions to lower Orgs. The poor chefs were given random amounts of funding – and always under what was needed. And at the same time they would get REAMED if they didn’t keep a 4 week future menu in place.

I also think that’s why you’d get so much heat in the CLO if you didn’t make sales in the Call Center – Because you had a feeling you had to earn your own food and board.

Reply

DWP = Department of Water and Power.
The main Los Angeles Utility Company.

Whoa ! Whoa !

Booming Orgs, Expansion out the roof ! Unprecedented "BOOMs"

AND

$500,000 owed on Utility Bill to Department of Water and Power In Los Angeles, one of their main hubs of income.

?​

​

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

I asked Jason Barclay to tell about the finance on Mike Rinder's blog.
Here is his response ~~​

DWP = Department of Water and Power.
The main Los Angeles Utility Company.

Whoa ! Whoa !

Booming Orgs, Expansion out the roof ! Unprecedented "BOOMs"

AND

$500,000 owed on Utility Bill to Department of Water and Power In Los Angeles, one of their main hubs of income.

?​

​

I just wrote a KR on this situation, citing the violation of the policy on not flowing power to the department of power. Handled! LOL

Seriously, the finances of COS are run exactly like the mafia with an [STRIKE]allocation[/STRIKE] "cut" of your [STRIKE]Gross Income[/STRIKE] "take" on the [STRIKE]Bridge[/STRIKE] "racket" being [STRIKE]flowed[/STRIKE] "kicked upstairs" to [STRIKE]senior management[/STRIKE] the "don" (mafia chief) for [STRIKE]safeguarding your eternity[/STRIKE] "not whacking you".