Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology - PART ONE

[HelluvaHoax!]

Re: Tsunami? Scientology can handle that!

I almost read that PR release when looking at the morning news today, but the real photos of the disaster took over - this is NOT a place that needs assists, SERIOUSLY!

--photos snipped---

Scientology: Creating a world without war, insanity and criminality by being 4th Dynamic ambulance chasers. And selling non-existent tech to "handle" natural disasters when they should instead be handling the un-natural disaster called Scientology.

 

[Type4_PTS]

Selling "The Basics" to a Blind Man!

Cross-Posted from this thread:
Being the Bookstore Officer: A view from hell

I was there during this criminal sales of epic rip off in 2007 - the BASIC SCAM BOOKS! The Book Store officer at my morgue was trying sell a BLIND person the BASICS! WTF? Just WTF?

I told them "they can't see" - so how could they read it. He told me "yeah, but they are thetans and just having the BASICS in their library at home is reversing the "theta to entheta ratio".... Can I get another WTF?

I told them to fuck off and if they continued to pursue selling the books to a blind person - I would write them up!

Most people would agree that it is not ethical to sell a blind person books they cannot use! Bat Shit Crazy Cult~!

He wrote a KR on me! I wrote a KR on him. I think he won - of course!!

It's Scientology - it does not have to make sense!!

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

Cross-Posted from another thread:

Some of the data came out of "Source" Magazine.
One OT reported that she stopped a Hurricane from hitting her parents home 1,000 miles away with her OT Powerz!!

No joke - I read it...I am sure you remember it too...I think they re-publish the "wins" over and over and over cuz their ain't new OT's coming off the assembly line.

OMG.

If you find that "OT WIN" please send it over to the Stupid Thread because I'm getting overrun hearing the win of paying $500,000 to find a parking space.

Scientology: Where people have a win from paying a half-million dollars instead of using a parking valet.

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

Re: Selling "The Basics" to a Blind Man!

Cross-Posted from this thread:
Being the Bookstore Officer: A view from hell

Originally Posted by Idle Morgue
I was there during this criminal sales of epic rip off in 2007 - the BASIC SCAM BOOKS! The Book Store officer at my morgue was trying sell a BLIND person the BASICS! WTF? Just WTF?

I told them "they can't see" - so how could they read it. He told me "yeah, but they are thetans and just having the BASICS in their library at home is reversing the "theta to entheta ratio".... Can I get another WTF?

I told them to fuck off and if they continued to pursue selling the books to a blind person - I would write them up!

Most people would agree that it is not ethical to sell a blind person books they cannot use! Bat Shit Crazy Cult~!

He wrote a KR on me! I wrote a KR on him. I think he won - of course!!

It's Scientology - it does not have to make sense!!

Total nonsense, right?

Except that one of Scientology's "Successful Actions" is selling tech to the blind.

 

[Rene Descartes]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

Cross-Posted from another thread:


One OT reported that she stopped a Hurricane from hitting her parents home 1,000 miles away with her OT Powerz!!


OMG.

If you find that "OT WIN" please send it over to the Stupid Thread because I'm getting overrun hearing the win of paying $500,000 to find a parking space.

Scientology: Where people have a win from paying a half-million dollars instead of using a parking valet.

Anyone can prevent their parent's home from being hit by a hurricane by getting the hurricane to move.
That is a simple parlor trick that any 2nd or 3rd rate OT can make happen.

But trying doing it by moving the parent's home instead.

Now that would be the true test of an OT.

Rd00

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

..

Excerpt from Jefferson Hawkins' interview on Tony Ortega's brilliant and entertaining website, The Underground Bunker.

JEFFERSON: No, two years later, in 1967, he was sailing the high seas with the Sea Organization, a rag-tag group of young Scientologists who somehow had to be hammered into an elite, dedicated, planet-Clearing force. That required, he concluded, a high degree of discipline, threat and punishment. And that resulted in the “Lower Conditions,” which were designed to do one thing: impose a high level of control over a group. The original “Penalties for Lower Conditions,” issued in October, 1967, read like something out of Captain Bligh. The penalty for Liability, for instance, was “Suspension of Pay and a dirty grey rag on left arm and day and night confinement to org premises.” The penalty for Treason was “Suspension of pay and deprivation of all uniforms and insignia, a black mark on left cheek and confinement on org premises or dismissal from post and debarment from premises.”
​

Per Hubbard's study tech, I should probably do a demo of that stable datum, in order to get the proper balance of mass and significance. . .

 

[In present time]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

stupid; not noticing that an injured and ignored little girl with a cheek the size of a baseball, and an eye patch, is in the photo with his sourciness.

 

[Karen#1]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

I still get numerous non-stop spam from all over the world, but these spammy mailings got boring to post on the boards even though some of the images are colorful. However on the Eve of *THE* most momentous, most historical NEW SERVICE of all time, I thought I would post this one ~~​

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: <[email protected]>
Date: 2013/11/13
Subject: Final Countdown - That Epic Moment is Now!

FINAL COUNTDOWN – THAT EPIC MOMENT IS NOW!

Dear Cornerstone Member,

It is now the final stretch before we open our historic new Flag Building with the release of Super Power and the Cause Resurgence Rundown!

The series of events for the release of the Golden Age of Tech Phase II, the release of Super Power and the Cause Resurgence Rundown, the Grand Opening of the Flag Building, plus the Cornerstone Ball will all be starting in 3 days!

You absolutely can’t miss any of these events! You need to arrive at the latest between the 13th and 14th of November. This will give you adequate time to settle into your accommodations, route in and prepare for the monumental activities that are planned for you. Upon arrival everyone is going to the Fort Harrison where you will get all the information you need for the weekend of events including your tickets and event pass.

You must stay through until the 20th so that you can be sure not to miss the Cornerstone Ball which is just for YOU. I promise you, you will not want to miss what we have planned.

The attire for three of these events will be formal-wear (black-tie or gowns) and one event will be upstat business attire for the ribbon cutting. Here you will be the first to tour the new Flag Building.

Please RSVP by return email and send an info copy to Central Reservations here at Flag for their overall tracking of your attendance on this grand occasion. The email address is: [email protected] You can also call them at: 1-800-233-FLAG ( 1-800-233-3524 ) for assistance with logistics of your trip.
See you soon!

Lauri Webster

This e-mail was sent to you by the Church of Scientology Flag Service Organization, 503 Cleveland Street, Clearwater, Florida 33755 U.S.A. If you do not wish to receive further e-mails click here to unsubscribe.
© 2013 CSFSO. All Rights Reserved. Flag, Super Power and Cause Resurgence are trademarks and service marks owned by Religious Technology Center and are used with its permission. Services relating to Scientology religious philosophy are delivered throughout the world exclusively by licensees of the Church of Scientology International with the permission of Religious Technology Center, holder of the SCIENTOLOGY and DIANETICS trademarks. Printed in the U.S.A.

 

[Anonycat]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

I still get numerous non-stop spam from all over the world, but these spammy mailings got boring to post on the boards even though some of the images are colorful. However on the Eve of *THE* most momentous, most historical NEW SERVICE of all time, I thought I would post this one ~~​

​

They sent out an e-mail saying you must arrive TODAY or TOMORROW and STAY A WEEK? That's pretty desperate!

 

[Type4_PTS]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

"...on the Eve of *THE* most momentous, most historical NEW SERVICE of all time, I thought I would post this one ~~

You must stay through until the 20th so that you can be sure not to miss the Cornerstone Ball which is just for YOU. I promise you, you will not want to miss what we have planned.

I like that mystery sandwich they threw in there - "I promise you, you will not want to miss what we have planned".

How about an announcement about the release of OT IX and X? That would go over well.

Only thing is they need a new building built especially for the delivery of those OT Levels!

And The Cornerstone Members will have the first opportunity to donate for that building.

(And they cannot leave the ballroom until they've seen the Reg and coughed up some money)

That's my prediction - you read it here first.

 

[Anonycat]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

I like that mystery sandwich they threw in there - "I promise you, you will not want to miss what we have planned".

How about an announcement about the release of OT IX and X? That would go over well.

Only thing is they need a new building built especially for the delivery of those OT Levels!

And The Cornerstone Members will have the first opportunity to donate for that building.

(And they cannot leave the ballroom until they've seen the Reg and coughed up some money)

That's my prediction - you read it here first.

 

[In present time]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

They sent out an e-mail saying you must arrive TODAY or TOMORROW and STAY A WEEK? That's pretty desperate!

now that i have been out a good long time, looking back it seems really strange. showing up somewhere for a special event and spending three days on a routing form.
plus, formal wear?
nobody really does that anymore.
oh well. these aren't the things that really bother me.

stupid special BLACK e-meters in "halliburton" cases were the wake up call to me.
like, you could really help someone faster and better with an emeter that cost a thousand dollars xtra?

yah. they dug their own grave.
scientology, the botox of human potential.

 

[guanoloco]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

I like that mystery sandwich they threw in there - "I promise you, you will not want to miss what we have planned".

How about an announcement about the release of OT IX and X? That would go over well.

Only thing is they need a new building built especially for the delivery of those OT Levels!

And The Cornerstone Members will have the first opportunity to donate for that building.

(And they cannot leave the ballroom until they've seen the Reg and coughed up some money)

That's my prediction - you read it here first.

Remember the original OT promo and Sea Org promo where the OT levels had to be delivered away from the crossroads of the planet in a calm environment?

And then Flunk Land Base gets put in Florida of all places!!! If you want to find a crossroads of the planet Florida would be it...like an hour and a half from Disney World and two and a half from Cape Canaveral.

Good thing they're away from the crossroads of the planet!!

 

[Udarnik]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

Remember the original OT promo and Sea Org promo where the OT levels had to be delivered away from the crossroads of the planet in a calm environment?

And then Flunk Land Base gets put in Florida of all places!!! If you want to find a crossroads of the planet Florida would be it...like an hour and a half from Disney World and two and a half from Cape Canaveral.

Good thing they're away from the crossroads of the planet!!

The planet is a fucking sphere. The major landmasses are completely separated by water. It doesn't have a crossroads.

I'm starting to understand why you guys keep repeating "it's $cientology, it doesn't have to make sense".

 

[guanoloco]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

Scientology is where you read and word clear "2. Never withdraw allegiance once granted." and then you go and write a disconnection letter to your spouse who recently got declared for asking "Where's Shelly?" or something.

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

..

Anyways, what happens to Ron The Writer when he
reincarnates next life and starts a new cult?

 

[NoName]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

..


Anyways, what happens to Ron The Writer when he reincarnates next life?

An infinite number of monkeys pounding on an infinite number of typewriters may, eventually, produce Hamlet. But nothing EVER as stupid as Scientology: A History of Man.

 

[Type4_PTS]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

..


Anyways, what happens to Ron The Writer when he reincarnates next life?

He still has a high affinity for money. Some things never change.

 

[JBWriter]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

That moment when you learned that Dick Semon coined the word "engram".

(Here's the post: http://www.forum.exscn.net/showthre...e-Scale-origin&p=875985&viewfull=1#post875985 )

JB - still snickering.

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

Re: Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology

That moment when you learned that Dick Semon coined the word "engram".

(Here's the post: http://www.forum.exscn.net/showthre...e-Scale-origin&p=875985&viewfull=1#post875985 )

JB - still snickering.

Holy PTS! (Plagiarizing Tech Source)

From that excellent link:

For instance: "According to his second wife, now Sara Hollister, Hubbard was also greatly taken by the work of English psychologist Richard Semon (Bent Corydon, L. Ron Hubbard Messiah or Madman?, p.264. "Semon" is mistakenly rendered as "Simon"), whose interest was largely with memory (he founded "mnemonic psychology"). Semon invented the word "engram" which is at the core of the Dianetic hypothesis. Hubbard himself admitted "About 1914-15 there was a chap who remarked on the fact that there was such a thing as an engram, that a moment of unconsciousness was recorded all the way through."

"Dianetics: the Modern Science of Mental Health
Hubbard's first supposed therapy book, was also a collaborative effort. Joseph Winter, M.D., has left his own account of this in the book A Doctor's Report on Dianetics (56) (e.g. pp.16-19). This is corroborated by my own correspondence with former Hubbard associate Donald Rogers, the letters of John Campbell, jnr. and Bent Corydon's interview with Hubbard's second wife, Sara Hollister. Winter, Rogers, Campbell and Sara Hubbard were among the original seven board members of the Hubbard Dianetic Research Foundation. These four discussed the terminology with Hubbard, and the changes made by them are obvious when comparing Hubbard's first article on Dianetics (Terra Incognita: the Mind) and the book Dianetics the Original Thesis with other works. For example, by the time Dianetics: the Modern Science of Mental Health was published, in May 1950, Hubbard accepted an existing medical term, "engram", for the memory of a period of pain or unconsciousness. Hubbard said that he had previously used the terms "norn", "comanome" or "impediment". According to Joseph Winter, M.D., the term "engram" was taken from the 1936 edition of Dorland's Medical Dictionary (it is attributed to psychologist Richard Semon). As far as I know, this is nowhere admitted in the literature of Dianetics and Scientology."

Although Hubbard was able to mock up a lot of cash, he wasn't able mock up an an original name and covertly tried to to "coin" the word Scientology as his own.

Instead, he stole both the name Scientology and the "knowing how to know" jingle too. (cover of original 1934 manuscript by Dr. Nordenholz below)

From WIKI:

His work Scientologie, Wissenschaft von der Beschaffenheit und der Tauglichkeit des Wissens ("Scientology Science of the Constitution and Usefulness of Knowledge") was published in 1934. The Church of Scientology has actively but in vain tried to suppress the book, as well as the domain name “scientologie”.[SUP][1][/SUP]