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Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology - PART ONE

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_brian

WogRevert
For your consideration...

I present to you the international leader and #1 on-Source, most ethical OT for Indie Scientologists worldwide.

FULL AND KNOWING CAUSE OVER LIFE!
marty-rathbun-mugshot.jpg

I mocked up getting drunk & disorderly.
I postulated going to jail.
It's a win.
Really.
Yes, it is true that he
MRarrest1.JPG
(grasping cardboard sign)
will Messiah for Bail
wants to be top Guru to carry on delivering the precious tek​
 

KissMyStats

Patron with Honors
My Top Ten

1. Pat Broeker is given the title of Loyal Officer at the LRH death event and soon after the LRH letter giving him the title was removed from the possession of every SO member. I remember this letter was on everyone's desk framed.

2. It is announced at the LRH death event that having completed all of his research he had left his body to pursue research at higher levels. (no video of this but that's what I remember)

3. After the first bunch of OT 8's came off the Freewinds they were all called back because there had been something left off the level when they initially did it. They only had 38 years to make sure it was done right. Oh well.

4. Releasing all of the taped lectures onto CD's when the rest of the world was using MP3 and digital.

5. At the TC Medal of Valor event, when DM announced TC as "the most dedicated Scientologist I know" which invalidated every single other Religious Freedom award winner, every single SO and staff member and every single public person who had sacrificed financially and otherwise for the church. This was either the biggest FU to all Scios or he REALLY doesn't KNOW any other Scientologist.

6. The Freedom Rag being circulated to thousands of residents in Pinellas County trying to counter the Truth Rundown series of articles in the St. Pete Times. Major footbullet.

7. Lisa McPherson. RIP

8. The vampire stewardess uniforms for the new Idle Orgs.

9. Putting all of LRH material onto titanium plates and burying it a secret vault in the desert.

10. The Basics. Need I say more.
 

Tiger Lily

Gold Meritorious Patron
1. Pat Broeker is given the title of Loyal Officer at the LRH death event and soon after the LRH letter giving him the title was removed from the possession of every SO member. I remember this letter was on everyone's desk framed.

2. It is announced at the LRH death event that having completed all of his research he had left his body to pursue research at higher levels. (no video of this but that's what I remember)

3. After the first bunch of OT 8's came off the Freewinds they were all called back because there had been something left off the level when they initially did it. They only had 38 years to make sure it was done right. Oh well.

4. Releasing all of the taped lectures onto CD's when the rest of the world was using MP3 and digital.

5. At the TC Medal of Valor event, when DM announced TC as "the most dedicated Scientologist I know" which invalidated every single other Religious Freedom award winner, every single SO and staff member and every single public person who had sacrificed financially and otherwise for the church. This was either the biggest FU to all Scios or he REALLY doesn't KNOW any other Scientologist.

6. The Freedom Rag being circulated to thousands of residents in Pinellas County trying to counter the Truth Rundown series of articles in the St. Pete Times. Major footbullet.

7. Lisa McPherson. RIP

8. The vampire stewardess uniforms for the new Idle Orgs.

9. Putting all of LRH material onto titanium plates and burying it a secret vault in the desert.

10. The Basics. Need I say more.

:yes::yes: For me personally the Basics was the last stupid thing I was willing to put up with -- my last straw. . .

.. .. .. and for a little trip down memory lane for you . . .

For your consideration....


Ron's not dead.
And none of you cocksuckers are leaving this event
before you write a success story about how OT Ron is.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-4795916476185244372#
 

dexter gelfand

Patron Meritorious
For your consideration: the Sonya Bianca fiasco at the shrine in 1950 when Hubbard prematurely claimed he had the first clear who would demonstrate the total recall he falsely promised. She was FAIL and clear got redefined.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iLnNd1_vlbs

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=6833020357960172008#

http://books.google.com/books?id=Yr...q=hubbard shrine auditorium dianetics&f=false
This is overall the funniest thread ever. I sit in front of my monitor and just laugh my ass off! What a great idea!:thumbsup:
I have to admit, this particular entry reminds me of the old Rocky and Bullwinkle cartoons, where Bullwinkle where they are on stage and Bullwinkle says "Hey Rock, watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat", and anything but a rabbit would be pulled out of the hat:clap:

Love, Dex
 

Ulf K. Maier

Patron Meritorious
For your consideration...

I present to you the international leader and #1 on-Source, most ethical OT for Indie Scientologists worldwide.

FULL AND KNOWING CAUSE OVER LIFE!
marty-rathbun-mugshot.jpg

I mocked up getting drunk & disorderly.
I postulated going to jail.
It's a win.
Really.
F***ING:roflmao::dieslaughing::roflmao:PRICELESS!​
 
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KissMyStats

Patron with Honors
:yes::yes: For me personally the Basics was the last stupid thing I was willing to put up with -- my last straw. . .

.. .. .. and for a little trip down memory lane for you . . .

Thanks for this Tiger Lily. Watching this video did take us back down memory lane. This was DM's first public event appearance and I think this is the moment where he fell in love with being the center of attention, loved the applause, the lights and admiration, loved controlling the masses. He became drunk with power and this event was a HUGE shot of it. Elevating his power to another level. Being the one who announced LRH's death automatically put him in the leadership position. After all, who but the most "trusted" would be given this responsibility. What a putz.
 

HelluvaHoax!

Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on
This is overall the funniest thread ever. I sit in front of my monitor and just laugh my ass off! What a great idea!:thumbsup:
I have to admit, this particular entry reminds me of the old Rocky and Bullwinkle cartoons, where Bullwinkle where they are on stage and Bullwinkle says "Hey Rock, watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat", and anything but a rabbit would be pulled out of the hat:clap:

Love, Dex


I used to watch that cartoon where COB says: "Hey Rockslammer, watch me pull a squirrel process out of my ass." LOL

(Hey Dex, it was originally going to be Ron saying something about pulling the tech out of his ass, but since ESMB is a gentler, kinder message board these days and you said nice things, I went easy! :hysterical:)
 

Mystic

Crusader
"Scientology." Just "Scientology", that's all it takes. That single word is all it takes to perform an ad hom put-down and a position-winning statement in any argument or conversation about "Scientology". Just stating the fact, "You're a Scientologist", wins any discussion. Anyone left in that dead-yet-unburied cult is continually experiencing their most stupid moment.
 

HelluvaHoax!

Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on
:thumbsup: This one's classic. . . a while ago I heard she blew . . . maybe she saw this and got knocked out of the mindf---

Yeah, Ron's holy scripture made it emphatically clear to her that people like Mark Bunker had crimes that she must demand to know about.

Scientologists are realllllly good at following demand-commands.

Okay, if she has blown, and Ron is not here to tell her what to do, I suppose she is waiting for some new commands. I'll try to help:

NEW COMMANDS:

1. Fly a rud.

2. Cringe.

3. Make a fishing video with Mark Bunker where you talk about the good old days when you were a programmed zombie robot on autopilot.

4. Forget about all the above shit and have fun.​

PS: If you really have blown, you are cordially invited to join a lot of friends on the playground here at ESMB. After the first couple cringes, y'all gonna love partying with everyone. Please know there ain't a soul in da house who hasn't looked back without a few humbling and humiliating crimson blushes. It happens to the best, it happens to the rest. :hysterical:
 
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HelluvaHoax!

Platinum Meritorious Sponsor with bells on
Top 100 stupidest moments in Scn

For your consideration....

Any Scientology or Indie Scientology internet sites that tries to "handle and dead-agent the entheta, black pr, enemy line, suppressive false data" about Scientology.

There are so many juicy, well-known Scn front groups...but for fun, let's pick one of the lesser known ones today....

http://bernie.cncfamily.com/sc/lies.htm

The great thing about Scientology footbullets is that they remind you how freaking stupid their lying is. Every one of the following "MYTHS" is a laughably and easily disprovable lie. (Editorial comments added in red)

TOP 10 ANTI-SCIENTOLOGY MYTHS

1. Scientology Kills:It doesn't. Thousands or even millions have engaged in various forms of Scientology over the past 50 years and are still alive.
It does. Lisa McPherson.

2. Scientology members are restrained against their will
They aren't. Scientologists are free to come and go within the constrain of the contractual or tacit agreement they took with the CoS, which does not includes physical restrain.
They are. RPF & RPF's RPF.

3. Cult members are victim of mind-control
What anticultists call "mind-control" has been debunked by scholars during the 80's and rejected by the courts since then.
They are--or you wouldn't be posting this crazy lying DA material that Ron Hubbard commanded you to post.

4. Scientology kills pets
Accusations of pet killing by critics rest on nothing else but paranoid and unsubstantiated speculations. The CoS may engage in harassment against critics, but it doesn't go as far as killing pets.
You have a point here. Scn has no time to kill pets while it is busy trying to kill whistleblowers like Paulette Cooper.

5. Scientology is not a religion
Scientologists, members and leaders alike, sincerely believe that they are spiritual beings who take on other bodies after they die and can improve through Scientology. This alone already qualifies Scientology as a religious group.
Scientologists also sincerely believe that Ron "...was nearly run over by a train on Venus the other day." and laughed & cognited joyfully when he revealed that holy religious scripture.

6. Anticultists engage in "critical thinking"
See for yourself. Look at the Unanswered Questions page, the Cat Story page, or nearly any other pages used as example on this web site - or read ARS - and decide for yourself whether what critics engage into is critical thinking or cultic thinking.
Okay, I did what you suggested and did my Doubt Formula. I decided that critics DO engage in critical thinking. Will you now sign my Liability Formula or do you have a problem with that?

7. Dissenters are "cult apologists"
Dissenters are critics and ex-members who disagree with myths such as those above. It also includes scholars who conducted scientific studies that likewise disproved critics' assertions. To equate criticism of critics with "apologizing for cults" is another example of the inability of anticultists to make appropriate distinctions - a cultic characteristic all by itself.
Wait, the dissenters are Scientologists?! WTF? Who wrote this elliptical sophistic weirdness, Mark Baker? :)

8. Critics link to alternative views to let people make their own mind.
Critics cannot avoid linking to the main CoS site, but they will avoid as much as possible to link to dissident sites, such as the present one, or to factual 3rd parties sites such as scholarly sites. What critics leave out from their report is about as important as what they put in.
I even tried to clay demo this one but failed to have any freaking clue what they are trying to say. Anyone? Anyone?

9. The CoS wore down the Cult Awareness Network (CAN) with lawsuits until it went broke.
This isn't the reason CAN went broke. It went broke because of its historical, contextual, direct and indirect involvement in kidnapping and forcible deprogramming - the logical outcome of the anticult belief system. A unanimously jury found them guilty on this ground. The judgement has been confirmed by all the successive appeal courts in the US.
Sure, "historical and contextual" things (not money demands defending countless law suits) made them go broke. We believe you.


10. Scientology "technology" is a dangerous form of brainwashing
The "tech" is neither the dangerous brainwashing technique critics portray, nor the all-in-one universal solution Scientology promotes.The all-bad attitude critics have towards Scientology tech basically mirrors the all-good attitude of scientologists about it. Both are myths in their own right.
Hey, the fact that all Scientologists repeat Ron's exact words when talking about brainwashing (or any other troubling question) probably isn't brainwashing, move along robots--nothing to think about here.
 

looker

Patron Meritorious
Anyone remember Project Safespace?

Quote:
Originally Posted by looker on Apollo 73 thread
In 1971 -72 I had a good friend at CCLA . She was always on top of what was going with expansion Celebrities and cutting edge techie stuff.

She mentioned the Safespace project was starting to gain a lot of talk. Robert Miles (OTIII er something) had plans to build a huge Catamaran that would hold perhaps 400 people. The Safespace was a cutting edge ultra modern ship that would be a PR vehicle for Scientology, sailing all the west coast ports then visit ports on the east coast and Europe.

She had a spiral bound project book complete with drawings and said they were getting hard to find but I could get one of the first printings for $20.

She said that Robert Miles and his partner were trying to get Scientology investors to buy shares to gain a million dollars or more for the project.

A few months later she called me and said the Safespace project was considered by the GO as being unauthorized by the church and that it was more important that potential Scientology investors funnel their money into the church. That since the project was not sanctioned that further promotion would be declaired a suppressive act. She suggested I destroy or throw the $20 Safespace manual away, and I did, I wish I didn't though its a piece of history.

On a lark I Googled Project Safespace and lowe and behold the project has an active website. They are linked to Fast Walkers a UFO documentary site.

Robert Miles is in the video about FastWalkers Sharing a close incounter and his story here http://www.safespaceproject.com/SS/encounters.htm .

http://www.safespaceproject.com/SS/book.htm

response from Lakey
I remember Robert Miles and his Oprtsyion Safespace project very well. Miles entered CCLA as a new staff member and did not have to do his basics such as working on the EPF, Estates Project Force. Right off the bat, he was made a senior Executive, I believe he was the PES, the Public Exec Sec. This was over the Public Division and was one of the senior executive posts on the Org Board. I figured that he had to have done his basics at some other org for Yvonne to bring him aboard and post him so highly.

Shortly after joining staff, he began wearing a uniform very similar to "space attire" as commonly seen in TV serials about outer space such as Captain Video or Flash Gordon. In effect, he wore a silver grey tunic, matching pants, a wide dark belt and dark boots. He had several such uniforms and wore those exclusively, every day and also wore them to events. That is all he wore, every single day. He attended most of the top executive meetings and before long he started promoting his Operation Safe Space.

There was an attractive young dark haired woman, in her early twenties named Marilyn. She was either married or living with someone as their 2D. Robert Miles, about 45 years old as he appeared to me in 1972, courted her and within a couple of weeks of his arrival, he married her and she became Marilyn Miles. Miles was then sent at CC's expense to the Flagship Apollo to get his L rundowns. He returned to CCLA talking about major Div 6 efforts to spread Scientology all over the planet and he announced that his efforts in this direction would be focused around his Operation Safespace. I bought his book and read it and it was an interesting and entertaining SciFi story.

At about this time, late 1972, I began getting my Expanded Dianetics from my beloved auditor, Susan. I remember one time my rudiments were out and I had a lot of charge on the fact that Miles got his L's paid by the Org and was living like a King and though he was Sea Org, he did not have to attend musters nor do any work detail or clean up detail such as the rest of us had to do. I STATED IN SESSION THAT IT DID NOT LOOK TO ME AT ALL THAT MILES WAS MUCH INTERESTED IN FURTHERING LRH'S AGENDA BUT THAT HE WAS REALLY ONLY INTERESTED IN FURTHERING HIS OWN AGENDA. I told Sue that he looked completely out of valence and seemed to be dramatizing some "power trip". I mentioned that Marilyn, once "Miss Sweet and Innocent" now seemed to be just like him.

Not long after I made these observations in session, word came down that the Guardians' Office did not sanction "Operation Safespace" and that Miles would have to stop promoting it. Robert and Marilyn Miles were both given the ultimatum that Robert would have to stop pursuing his own project and devote his time to Scientology business only. Robert said "no" and Marilyn, his loyal wife, choose him over staying at CC without him. Neither one of them nattered or showed a pained look on their faces. They were around only a day or two after the G.O. announcement came down and then they were gone. I heard that they both were continuing to work on the Safespace project, trying to get backing for it and funding for a money which Miles wanted to make. I thought all that ended in the 1970's and am surprised to find that it has a website on it.

When some staff pressed for an explanation at a staff meeting a few day's later, Yvonne or her second in command Joyce Myers merely stated that Robert had put his own personal Hobby Horse ahead of LRH programs and refused to give his project up when ordered to do so and therefore he was offloaded. Me and several others wondered how and why he ever got as far as he did, burning up $10,000 (in 1972 money) of CCLA's money to do his L's and also being given full executive priveleges without doing his basics.
Lakey
 

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AngeloV

Gold Meritorious Patron
For your consideration...

I present to you the international leader and #1 on-Source, most ethical OT for Indie Scientologists worldwide.

FULL AND KNOWING CAUSE OVER LIFE!
marty-rathbun-mugshot.jpg

I mocked up getting drunk & disorderly.
I postulated going to jail.
It's a win.
Really.

:roflmao::roflmao::roflmao:
This is some of the funniest shit I've read on ESMB in a long time. What a nice change from the 'bannings' threads!!
 

Operating DB

Truman Show Dropout
:roflmao::roflmao::roflmao:
This is some of the funniest shit I've read on ESMB in a long time. What a nice change from the 'bannings' threads!!

Agreed! What a nice change of pace. This could end up being a really long thread full of fun lulz.
Thank you Helluva for starting it!
 

Megalomaniac

Silver Meritorious Patron
Status Discounts

Contact an ASHOF Staff Member!
to take advantage of these limited time discounts.
Call 1-323-953-3250 and ask for Maya Mills!​

The circus barker promotional style always embarrassed me. But when they started offering limited time discounts on status :duh: , I was about gone.
 

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Gottabrain

Guest
Unknown to us at the time, OSA called the police four times at our Dec 2010 protest at AOSH ANZO.

We had already left and were a block away, on our way to our cars, when the four different police cars arrived. After some discussion, instead of arresting us or asking us to leave, the police did a Welfare Check on the RPF there and were able to speak to one RPF member. Dozens of neighbors were informed by us personally, and investigations continue. Meanwhile, safety houses and numbers for those who wished to leave was set up with the local police so that information could be supplied directly by the police, and all of those within the SO and RPF at AOSH ANZO learned of this via the grapevine.

Thanks for calling the police, OSA! If you hadn't, all your neighbors wouldn't have come out to be personally informed of the situation, the police would not have been involved, we wouldn't have been able to coordinate with the police on our safehouses and helpline and you wouldn't be under investigation now!

Vids: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EZ5RjdegUiE&feature=player_embedded

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XBmzety0jBo&feature=player_embedded
 
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