Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology - PART ONE

[Infinite]

 

[Caliwog]

OMG, people, how could you forget this?

ML,
Caliwog
http://caliwog.wordpress.com

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

BATTLEFIELD EARTH

30th Annual Razzie® Award

Worst Picture of the Decade
(Three Special 30th Razzie-Versary Awardz)

******* Special Category! *******

Battlefield Earth (2000)

Nominated for 10 RAZZIES® / “Winner” of 8

Including Worst Drama of Our First 25 years! ​

​

I have had insomnia, staying awake night after night trying to understand how Ron's movie was arguably the worst financial & critical disaster in motion picture history.

How could this be?

I mean the greatest OT in the universe was behind it, Ron. The second greatest OT in the universe, COB, was behind it. All the supernaturally powered OTs in Scientology's management and field were behind it. Boxoffice star John Travolta was behind it.

What could have possibly derailed the combined cosmic postulate power of all those advanced beings?!

Fortunately, COB granted an interview on this very question to settle any doubts or concerns.

INTERVIEWER
So, Mr. Miscavige, tell us how ten million Clears and OT's
utterly failed and Battlefield Earth became the laughing stock of the planet.

COB
The why for this failure, like Scientology's axioms, is self-evident.

INTERVIEWER
Forgive me but I have not studied Scientology, perhaps you could
give our viewing audience a clue as to why so many OT's could not
make it go right to even break even. I mean, if only half of your
10 million members had seen Battlefield Earth it would have been
one of the most profitable movies in history!

COB
It is one of the of the most profitable movies ever--to us!
We regged an additional 300 million dollars when the movie tanked.

INTERVIEWER
Huh?

COB
Yeah! That's right. We told our retarded parishioners we needed
that money to distribute The Way To Blockbuster pamphlets to every
one of those cocksucking out-ethics wogs that didn't see the movie.​

 

[Mest Lover]

Internal thought extraction device yields this:

"oh boy tom, if you only knew how much we are scamming the shit out of you and using you to scam everyone else that would be a fist instead of a salute..."

 

[Panda Termint]

For your consideration; a present time moment.

 

[Lohan2008]

Jump the Couch

TC appearing on Oprah.

Cruise has made several expressions of his feelings for Holmes to the media, most notably the "couch incident" which took place on the popular The Oprah Winfrey Show of May 23, 2005. Cruise "jumped around the set, hopped onto a couch, fell to one knee and repeatedly professed his love for his new girlfriend."[74] The phrase "jumping the couch", fashioned after "jumping the shark", is used to describe someone "going off the deep end" in public in a manner extreme enough to tarnish his or her reputation

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tom_Cruise#Oprah_Winfrey_Show_incident

 

[AnonLover]

For your consideration, the classic "wong wong wong wong wong wong. and he says isnt that pretty... it sure is... mrmrmhhermmmderp. honk"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZbT6bQi-1bw

 

[blownstaffmember]

OMG, people, how could you forget this?

ML,
Caliwog
http://caliwog.wordpress.com

YES!

I vote for this as the #1.

 

[AnonLover]

Also for your consideration, another classic: A=A, R6=Christianity:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qrMJUDkDWqc

 

[AnonLover]

And lest we not forget the modern classics, for your consideration - DM's landmark film glorifying his own personal demi-god, Tom Cruise.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UFBZ_uAbxS0

A game changer for the world at large

 

[Sindy]

[/CENTER]

I have had insomnia, staying awake night after night trying to understand how Ron's movie was arguably the worst financial & critical disaster in motion picture history.

How could this be?

I mean the greatest OT in the universe was behind it, Ron. The second greatest OT in the universe, COB, was behind it. All the supernaturally powered OTs in Scientology's management and field were behind it. Boxoffice star John Travolta was behind it.

What could have possibly derailed the combined cosmic postulate power of all those advanced beings?!

Fortunately, COB granted an interview on this very question to settle any doubts or concerns.

INTERVIEWER
So, Mr. Miscavige, tell us how ten million Clears and OT's
utterly failed and Battlefield Earth became the laughing stock of the planet.

COB
The why for this failure, like Scientology's axioms, is self-evident.

INTERVIEWER
Forgive me but I have not studied Scientology, perhaps you could
give our viewing audience a clue as to why so many OT's could not
make it go right to even break even. I mean, if only half of your
10 million members had seen Battlefield Earth it would have been
one of the most profitable movies in history!

COB
It is one of the of the most profitable movies ever--to us!
We regged an additional 300 million dollars when the movie tanked.

INTERVIEWER
Huh?

COB
Yeah! That's right. We told our retarded parishioners we needed
that money to distribute The Way To Blockbuster pamphlets to every
one of those cocksucking out-ethics wogs that didn't see the movie.​

I cannot breathe!

 

[Dilettante]

wuuuuuuuuut?

Anonlover,
I have been sifting through blogs and boards for a long while now and I NEVER heard those audios of LRH. SICK. SICK. I'm shaking! That's just sick. Of course I have to come accross this on Hoaxies thread wherein he tries to make Synthia laugh so hard calmag comes out her nose. Who knew?
Thanks for the links, those are gems.
Dil

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

Of course I have to come accross this on Hoaxies thread wherein he tries to make Synthia laugh so hard calmag comes out her nose.
Dil

I am pleased to learn that Syn is generously *disseminating* and *sharing* her wins with others during acute flareups of the medical condition known as:

Olfactus Projectus Calmagnanimous
​

 

[AnonLover]

For you consideration and Diletante's evolution thru the classics...

the peanut-whistle lecture that should have been destroyed, and not repackaged for the freewinds-only whales club:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vd1v7K5CsT4&feature=related

 

[Free Being Me]

I'm lmao at this thread!!!!!!!! Hoax, have you considered a "Best of Hoax" thread?

 

[Sindy]

I'm lmao at this thread!!!!!!!! Hoax, have you considered a "Best of Hoax" thread?

FreeBe, I was just thinking the same exact thing. I think there's a book in the making here.

 

[Dilettante]

Olfactus Projectus Calmagnanimous

Hoaxie, you make me feel so good about being duped alongside the likes of you. I mean that, thanks man.
Anonlover The shock may never wear off. Thanks for impinging.
Synthia Every bit as intelligent and witty as Hoaxie, you two should host more threads.
Dil

 

[Sindy]

Hoaxie, you make me feel so good about being duped alongside the likes of you. I mean that, thanks man.
Anonlover The shock may never wear off. Thanks for impinging.
Synthia Every bit as intelligent and witty as Hoaxie, you two should host more threads.
Dil

and you are a voice of love, calm and wisdom. Thanks.

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

I'm lmao at this thread!!!!!!!! Hoax, have you considered a "Best of Hoax" thread?

Ooooh cool!

I could post every single one of my 5000 posts 2 or 3 more times each and pass those dilettantes Zinj & Alanzo while they are on vacation!!

 

[Caliwog]

[/CENTER]
I have had insomnia, staying awake night after night trying to understand how Ron's movie was arguably the worst financial & critical disaster in motion picture history.

How could this be?

A Scientologist was once explaining to me the depth of Ron's tech, all the subjects he covered, and he mentioned movies. I asked, if LRH wrote film tech, why was Battlefield Earth so bad? He told me, in his quiet, confidential, real-truth voice: Because the people who made the movie didn't follow the tech to the letter. Then had uncleared MUs!

ML,
Caliwog