Top 100 Stupid Moments in Scientology - PART ONE

[HelluvaHoax!]

Top 100 stupidest moments in Scn

For your consideration....

Tommy Davis' starring role in showing Scientology's deeply religious side when speaking to wog journalists and reporters.

There are so many deliciously stupid moments, it's hard to pick just one...

Well, let's begin with the introductory part of his holy sermon.

"This guy is a fucking lunatic!!!"​

Then Tommy confirms to the reporters that there WERE 50 unreported beatings to 22 people at Int Base.

Then Tommy gives a demonstration of TRs.

"I'm goddamned pissed!"​

But, the motherlode stupidpalooza of them all has got to be.....

"He was the wholetrack prison warden!" ​

Just to be sure, please roll the tape back one more time and try to possibly understand what is going on in the feeble, delusional cult mind of Tommy Davis to scream at media reporters that someone is a....

WHOLETRACK
PRISON
WARDEN??????​

I'm pretty when Tommy says "wholetrack prison warden" he first telepathically confirmed that the wog reporters had conceptual understanding of the word 'wholetrack'.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NerGo5w1u-s

 

[Dark Phoenix]

Great thread, Hoaxie! You've got such a knack for comedy

 

[Jump]

Lisa McPherson

Scientology handles a psychotic break by locking someone in a cockroach infested room and allowing them to dehydrate and starve to death? Aint the tech grand...

Unfunny Truth

 

[HelluvaHoax!]

For your consideration....

I'd like to nominate Dr. Hubbard, because....

Ron was a "nuclear physicist" and a "PhD"!

That guy was superhuman! How did he do it?!

On February 10, 1953 Hubbard was awarded an honorary Ph.D. by Sequoia University, California, "in recognition of his outstanding work and contributions in the fields of Dianetics and Scientology."[43] This non-accredited body was closed by the California state courts 30 years later after it was investigated by California authorities on the grounds of being a mail-order "degree mill".[44][45] In 2009 The Times revealed that the British Government's Department of Health had investigated the provenance of this degree, and had concluded that Hubbard had bought Sequoia University and awarded the PhD to himself

Why even bother to comment on the nuclear physicist scam? He didn't even bother to get a fake diploma on that one.

 

[_brian]

Mission holder conference(s)
Thanks for setting the stage for $cn accelerated demise.
You go Davie !!1!

 

[guanoloco]

A.K. Myers,

Post links to these if you have them - especially the "Solution to Inflation" - would really, really like to see that one.

"Three of Hubbie's masterworks

LRH ED 284 The Solution to Inflation"

Is that in any of the green or red vols?

To the rest - love this thread!!

All the major gaffes I had are gone, boo hoo, and all I've got left are the too numerous local Class V org stuff - but just reminiscing those causes me to piss my pants laughing!!

What a hoot! We are all a bus load of suckers!!

Keep this rolling, PLEASE!! Gawd, what awesome therapy!!

The End of Endless Stupid Footbullets Rundown!!!!!!!!!!!

PS Anybody got that solution to inflation please post it or PM me or let me know if it's in the red or green vols or whatever - HAPPY NEW YEAR ESMB!!

 

[TrevAnon]

Cross posted to WWP:

http://forums.whyweprotest.net/threads/top-100-stupid-moments-in-scientology.67862/

 

[Sindy]

One memorable moment was when asked why the sharp tops of the bars at Gold point inwards Tommy replies "They were installed that way"!

OMG. Hysterical! How dumb can ya get? I guess when you've been cornered and there is nothing else to say, you just blame it on the installers!

 

[Barbz]

I think two HUGE footbullets involved free speech.

First, the rmgroup by Helena Kobrin, which brought in internet free speech nerds. That was a big mistake.

Second, trying to get the Tom Cruise video taken down. That brought in an even bigger group of nerds.

Third, although the Superpower Building was a great fundraising tool, the global Ideal Orgs idea is not so good. Members are complaining about being pressured to donate to a number of things, leaving them unable to afford the courses they joined up for in the first place. This is beginning to have an impact.

 

[Magoo]

For me this is one of THE funniest threads, Ever, and also a combination of some of the most horrific memories. Oh Gawd: Thank you for listening!

Oh Gawd::: the protest outside of Flag in 1997--I was there.

OH Gawd::: Heber on TV, looking like an idiot. I was "in" then. I sat next to Heber, at the AMC, with my then husband as a "Times" ad came on, and Heber, all by himself, yelled: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! (cringe then, and now)

I haven't even read all of this, and I have to go...but did you mention:

THE BIGGEST PONZI SCHEME IN HISTORY:
REED SLATKIN? (I was at Flag while *that* was going on, and out when he was exposed and jailed).

Also, has anyone mentioned the PHONY BUDDHIST
MONKS who arrived at Flag to "Prove L. Ron Hubbard was *really* the REAL BUDDHA"?

((I was "In" for that one, too, and they claimed
TR 3 was what the Buddhists were missing, and because L. Ron Hubbard "Discovered it" (repeating the question: DUH!~ ) It MUST be true!

I'll have more....but jeesh: GREAT THREAD!

And note: People "in" used to tell me:
"You're not here for Scientology. You're here
just to gather material for your comedy act".
And ya know what? With this thread...you can
see why they said that!

Love to all, and keep um comin'

Tory/Magoo

 

[Sindy]

The Big Day

The day L. Ron Hubbard asked all of us not to ask how he came to "rise above the bank" and we complied.

That was stupid.

 

[Sindy]

And yet another stupid gimmick....

Presenting the next brilliant "Think Big" idea.......

Here's the blurb:

"The Scientology Passport to Freedom, used by Scientologists to assist in tracking their orderly progress up the Bridge. As one finishes a grade, the passport is stamped to show completion."

Did anyone ever bother to get this thing filled out?

 

[Magoo]

PS:

I think two HUGE footbullets involved free speech.

First, the rmgroup by Helena Kobrin, which brought in internet free speech nerds. That was a big mistake.

I agree with you, fully! As most of you know, I was very much a part of that, not known to me, really, until I got OUT. (I opened up the phony "anonymous" accounts Bill Yaude was using to try to spam ARS out of existance....which led up to "Let's just cancel it") Good one, OSA~!

Second, trying to get the Tom Cruise video taken down. That brought in an even bigger group of nerds.

Most of us on the Net were part of *that*---one way or another. I thanked Tom Cruise on CNN and Inside Edition for "Showing the world what a *real* OT looks like". Scientology sent PI's to 2 of my friends homes to ask:
"Is Tory Libeling TC?" They both said, "What if what she said is the truth?"

Third, although the Superpower Building was a great fundraising tool, the global Ideal Orgs idea is not so good. Members are complaining about being pressured to donate to a number of things, leaving them unable to afford the courses they joined up for in the first place. This is beginning to have an impact.

ARGH::::Super Power! I was there when Miscavige had all the millionaires donating TONS of $$$ to it,with their Golden Shovels (literally--to break ground).

The Ideal Orgs is laughable. It's truly the PROOF that this show is O V E R...with costumes and all

Thanks, Davey, for listening!!!

Great thread ...really funny!

Tory/Magoo

 

[Free Being Me]

"MAKE MONEY. MAKE MORE MONEY. MAKE OTHER PEOPLE PRODUCE SO AS TO MAKE MORE MONEY." - L. Ron Hubbard, Hubbard Communications Office Policy Letter, 9 March 1972, MS OEC 384 (fair use quote)

 

[AnonLover]

Mission holder conference(s)
Thanks for setting the stage for $cn accelerated demise.
You go Davie !!1!

^^This. And deserves /b/ackup....

From: http://www.xenu-directory.net/news/library-item.php?iid=1875
Title: Scientology: A collapsing empire?
Date: Sunday, 6 May 1984
Publisher: Sacramento Bee (California)

According to former insiders and church documents, whole branches have split away, income has dramatically fallen and members have left in droves — to the point where one former leader says there are only 30,000 remaining. Former church leaders and critics outlined some reasons for the apparent decline:

* Many say collapse is now inevitable because the church was built on a lie — a "front for making money," said Marvin Price, the former head of the Stockton mission and a Sacramento businessman. Hubbard's own letters prove this lie, former church archivist Gerry Armstrong charged in Los Angeles Superior Court last Thursday. In a trial now under way, the church is suing Armstrong to regain these letters. Armstrong said their release will doom Scientology.

* Some say the church scuttled itself from the start by issuing directives condoning bribery, blackmail and covert activities, which were carried out in the 1970s.

* Other dissidents say the church will perish because it got too money-hungry. The cost for Scientology courses and therapy has risen from $40 an hour in the 1970s to $307 an hour, effective last week in Sacramento. Hubbard, in a 1972 directive, established the church's policy in capital letters: "MAKE MONEY . . . MAKE MONEY . . . MAKE MORE MONEY."

* And much of that money — tens of millions of dollars, according to church critics and former members — has vanished into a myriad of domestic investments and foreign bank accounts.

Moar here: http://www.xenu-directory.net/news/library.php?t=Mission+Holders+Conference

 

[Magoo]

Scientologists, for the 30 years I was "in" spoke about how "brilliant" and how "L. Ron Hubbard
can see into the future"
I have one question for anyone still Believing the above statements:

IF L. Ron Hubbard was "So brilliant" and IF he "could see into the future".....

WHY THE HELL DIDN'T HE SEE THE INTERNET???? :confused2:
It (the Net) IS THE Single, greatest "Enemy" of C of $, and any other totalitarian organization. "The Truth Shall Set you Free", Hubbard claimed, and boy is *that* true.
((And yes, it's one of the skillion things he said HE wrote, that had been written for many years prior by others)).


TLC

 

[Magoo]

Did anyone ever bother to get this thing filled out?

Synthia,
Oh GAWD! The Scientology Passport! I just found mine a week ago or so. Yup---I got some of mine filled out.
What a joke. Passport to where?

I guess we could have it buried with us, when we die, so next lifetime we'd have proof of all we did in C of $?
More comedic material::: See what I mean? It's
endless!

Happy Week-end

Tory/Magoo

 

[Sindy]

Scientologists, for the 30 years I was "in" spoke about how "brilliant" and how "L. Ron Hubbard
can see into the future"
I have one question for anyone still Believing the above statements:

IF L. Ron Hubbard was "So brilliant" and IF he "could see into the future".....

WHY THE HELL DIDN'T HE SEE THE INTERNET???? :confused2:
It (the Net) IS THE Single, greatest "Enemy" of C of $, and any other totalitarian organization. "The Truth Shall Set you Free", Hubbard claimed, and boy is *that* true.
((And yes, it's one of the skillion things he said HE wrote, that had been written for many years prior by others)).


TLC

He did see the Internet and then he started taking Visteral

 

[Tiger Lily]

Presenting the next brilliant "Think Big" idea.......

Here's the blurb:

"The Scientology Passport to Freedom, used by Scientologists to assist in tracking their orderly progress up the Bridge. As one finishes a grade, the passport is stamped to show completion."

Did anyone ever bother to get this thing filled out?

Just had to share Emmas answer to it, for those of you who weren't here 2 years ago when ESMBers were worried about losing their posting status upon completing this lifetime (kind of a cute thread . . .)

http://www.forum.exscn.net/showpost.php?p=206213&postcount=49

To make things easier I designed the official ESMB passport. Just like the old Scientology passport, but this one gives you your STATUS back!!

 

[Tiger Lily]

The day L. Ron Hubbard asked all of us not to ask how he came to "rise above the bank" and we complied.

That was stupid.

Yes indeed it was!