trepidatious

cowboy

Patron with Honors
Many years ago, within the structure of the C of S, Flag was paramount. But removed and cloaked in secrecy was the special unit, hidden in various places, primarily southern Calif. However, removed and hidden from those at the special unit was a series of smaller bases, where Hubbard worked with a trusted few. Many of their names are known. Some are not.

I spent thousands of hours over many years in daily contact with the man. I experienced first hand more than most could even imagine.

Only the very tip of the iceberg is talked about here.

Few can truly understand what went on in the final days.

I'm still uncertain if I want to even discuss it.
 

Gadfly

Crusader
Many years ago, within the structure of the C of S, Flag was paramount. But removed and cloaked in secrecy was the special unit, hidden in various places, primarily southern Calif. However, removed and hidden from those at the special unit was a series of smaller bases, where Hubbard worked with a trusted few. Many of their names are known. Some are not.

I spent thousands of hours over many years in daily contact with the man. I experienced first hand more than most could even imagine.

Only the very tip of the iceberg is talked about here.

Few can truly understand what went on in the final days.

I'm still uncertain if I want to even discuss it.

Well, please, get CERTAIN, and begin to discuss it! :yes:

I woud like to see some of that iceberg that lies beneath the tip.

:drama:

I had enough with the teasing of mystery sandwiches in Scientology . . . . . .
 

exsomessenger

Patron Meritorious
welcome.

a very interesting first post. I was a messenger for years and would love to hear about anything you feel comfortable talking about.

:thumbsup: EXSO
 

Smilla

Ordinary Human
Many years ago, within the structure of the C of S, Flag was paramount. But removed and cloaked in secrecy was the special unit, hidden in various places, primarily southern Calif. However, removed and hidden from those at the special unit was a series of smaller bases, where Hubbard worked with a trusted few. Many of their names are known. Some are not.

I spent thousands of hours over many years in daily contact with the man. I experienced first hand more than most could even imagine.

Only the very tip of the iceberg is talked about here.

Few can truly understand what went on in the final days.

I'm still uncertain if I want to even discuss it.*

Might be better if you didn't then.*

Oh, and welcome!
 

cowboy

Patron with Honors
A randomn night, Hubbard couldn't sleep. He was hidden away, his location known to perhaps five people. In the wee hours of the morning, he decided to take a walk. His conversation rambled, reviewing upsets of the day. The only trouble was the fact that we were walking streets early in the morning attracted attention. A cop car pulled up behind us, the light flashed, and a cop got out. "I need to talk to you," the cop said when he got out.

The old man glanced at me. "Take care of it," he said, and kept walking, making his way back to the apartment that was his temporary home.

I turned to the officer and glibly made a joke about indigestion. Fifteen minutes later I slipped back into the apartment. "Well done," he said, and asked no more.

The old man's faith in me jumped up. And I found myself shouldering more responsibility and more secrets.
 

AnonyMary

Formerly Fooled - Finally Free
Hey Cowboy, welcome!

I'd say who I think you are but that would not help you decide to do what you probably know what you need to do.

That said, nny information that helps expose Scientology and Hubbard is better than none. Perhaps it's time to get off the fence. :) Say what you can and work your way out of the trepidations. I know the relief one feels when doing do. And once you start, it just gets easier.

You can keep your cover by not posting too may specifics... details without specific dates, places.....

Best wishes,

Mary
 

cowboy

Patron with Honors
Hubbard was, if anything, unpredictable. In moments he could be charming, in others.... insane.

His paranoia was extreme, which led to his constant fear of being found. But he also worried of things beyond merely being arrested. Violence. Theft. Conspiracies and plots.

One night, worse than others, I slept on the floor outside his room, listening to his snoring all night.

Morning broke and within minutes his angered voice bellowed through the household. I was, literally, called on the carpet.

"I thought you slept outside my door last night," he said.

"I did."

"Then explain this!" he screamed. He threw down one of his brown half boot shoes. "Someone entered in the middle of the night and stole one shoe and replaced it with a smaller one. They're trying to make me think I'm insane."

I looked at the familiar shoes, which he wore every day. Both shoes were the very ones I was familiar with. The old man's face trembled with suppresed rage. He continued to berate me, screaming at my failure to protect him from the plots against him.

Just another day in paradise.
 

Dulloldfart

Squirrel Extraordinaire
Someone with credibility here please post something when you have some idea of whether cowboy seems genuine or not.

Paul
 

exsomessenger

Patron Meritorious
Someone with credibility here please post something when you have some idea of whether cowboy seems genuine or not.

Paul

Paul, why not just take this for what it is?

is there a group here that has the authority to say if anothers words are correct or not or if they are of credit to what is being done here?

most people with an agenda are sniffed out by their own actions. Do we really need people saying who is and who is not to be listend to? Will that make it okay for us to believe?

to be honest that is the kind of thing that scared me most about the world of scientology.
 
Many years ago, within the structure of the C of S, Flag was paramount. But removed and cloaked in secrecy was the special unit, hidden in various places, primarily southern Calif. However, removed and hidden from those at the special unit was a series of smaller bases, where Hubbard worked with a trusted few. Many of their names are known. Some are not.

I spent thousands of hours over many years in daily contact with the man. I experienced first hand more than most could even imagine.

Only the very tip of the iceberg is talked about here.

Few can truly understand what went on in the final days.

I'm still uncertain if I want to even discuss it.

Yes, please tell us. Thanks. :thumbsup:
 

Dulloldfart

Squirrel Extraordinaire
Paul, why not just take this for what it is?

Well, I don't know what it is.

Usually I'm quite happy to accept a poster at face value. But this is getting into the realm of extraordinary claims, and at least *some* evidence would not go amiss. No hurry. :)

Paul
 

cowboy

Patron with Honors
I've never posted or written anything since leaving the church, many years ago. Some of you call into question my credibility. Yet my experience with the way the church works is what makes me unwilling to prove who I am. Some of those at the top who've left would know me, in person or through my reputation. If some of you want to believe, or not to believe, it doesn't matter to me.

I arrived on the ship a child, enamored with the idea of meeting the demi-god Hubbard. With time, I was with Hubbard almost daily, for six or eight hours a day, minimum.

Those who are movers and shakers still within the church, and those who were movers and shakers and left, were my friends. I saw the whole gambit of emotions and human frailties. Greed. Avarice. Jealousy....

But what of Hubbard? Could I tell you of his Dodge Dart with the suped up engine and the Jeep Cherokee, and going to the mall with him in Indio to go shopping for MSH? This was before the termination of all contact to MSH due to the GO complications. Can I tell you of the negotiated payment to Sexton not to touch Suzzette? Can I tell of the reaction upon his face when he learned of Quentin's suicide?

I could talk of all those things, and many more. Some flattering, most not. If someone asks me a specific question of that time, where the answer isn't readily known, I could answer it. I could explain background of well known events and the personalities involved.

I don't have to be believed.

But I tell you, I speak the truth. From experience.

Heck, the old man didn't believe me when I said I guarded his room all night and no one entered and changed his shoes. I wasn't believed then. The difference now is if I'm not believed, it doesn't matter.
 

cowboy

Patron with Honors
Hey Cowboy, welcome!

I'd say who I think you are but that would not help you decide to do what you probably know what you need to do.

That said, nny information that helps expose Scientology and Hubbard is better than none. Perhaps it's time to get off the fence. :) Say what you can and work your way out of the trepidations. I know the relief one feels when doing do. And once you start, it just gets easier.

You can keep your cover by not posting too may specifics... details without specific dates, places.....

Best wishes,

Mary

Thanks Mary
 

Dulloldfart

Squirrel Extraordinaire
I could talk of all those things, and many more. Some flattering, most not. If someone asks me a specific question of that time, where the answer isn't readily known, I could answer it. I could explain background of well known events and the personalities involved.

Go for it. :)

This might be very interesting, and illuminating too.

Paul
 

cowboy

Patron with Honors
First and foremost, Scientology was a marketing effort.

I remember once discussing what the next "released" level should deal with. Hubbard said go out and do a survey as to what people's wants were, what was the ruin, most pressing on their minds? Whatever that was is what the next level's result would be. And just tell them, he explained, through his marketing genius, if they pc didn't achieve that result, advise the staff to tell them that the next level would achieve that result.

I left when I realized that even Hubbard himself was a far cry from any of the results promised through clearing and OT. It took me years to separate the promises from the reality. I saw him in his daily activities, through his own ups and downs, illnesses, losses, frustrations, rages. I twisted my mind trying to make the facts fit into the promises. It didn't work.

NED was developed becasue Dianetics didn't work. NOTS was developed because NED didn't work.

None of it worked. Not one bit. Not on him. Not on others. Sure, it made some people feel good for a while. But did any of the avowed results ever come to fruition? Of course not.
 

cowboy

Patron with Honors
Go for it. :)

This might be very interesting, and illuminating too.

Paul


One thing I might mention, which I've never seen commented on. If you know anyone with him in the final years, that has left the church, they can confirm. Each person working closely with him in the end that had interactions with the outside world had a another name. Even Hubbard had one. His name was Mr. Hobart.
 

Dulloldfart

Squirrel Extraordinaire
If someone asks me a specific question of that time, where the answer isn't readily known, I could answer it. I could explain background of well known events and the personalities involved.

A recurring question that I see is why Hubbard allowed his books to remain as-is for 25 years or so when full of typos. My assumption is that he didn't give a rat's ass. Did he ever comment on that to you? (Not that he always told the truth!)

What I would find most interesting, would be any commentary on Robert Vaughn-Young's article on Hubbard being murdered. I don't expect any revelations from you, but I can ask. :)

Paul
 
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