Pounce away JohnD! I had wins in auditing, many times - had stuff blow for good, felt more able - and was. I raised a butt load of cash for the bridge I couldn't have conceived of doing early in my careerer in Scientology, gained self confidence, lost shyness, various key outs. I think the auditing I did helped people.
I really liked the key to Life course and how it raised my understanding and ability to communicate. Stuff like life is a game, fixed ideas, some of the stuff on how to do a job, completing cycles of action, the way the meter works, how the subject raised my awareness as a spiritual being, going exterior, and for many years it was fun to be on lines and know the secrets of life. But as the church became more bureaucratic, raised prices, the fun quotient started to fade away. I persisted for a few years but eventually I was wasted by the church and have found my self here, in the Church of ExScientology and am learning what in hell happened on the road to total freedom that left me a duped slave or sheep or Ronbot or whatever they call true believing clams these days.
I hope that suffices.
Mimsey
PS I really like the idea you can be cause over your condition and you can change it. In fact, I had forgotten that and I need to get causative and get back my zest for life! Thanks for asking! Another reason I am 'rolling in the deep" in Emma's church!! I keep learning new stuff, and waking the F up. Mimsey
PPS it is rather easy, when out, to forget what it was you liked about it in the first place that made that life a game worth dedicating yourself to. It was all of the stress of being on 7, the money, the pressure to audit so many sessions a day, the pressure and being declared, reading a lot of stuff that said this was bs and this and this and realizing what a fool I had been, that demoralized me. I really think there is a reason for things happening, and this series of posts lead me to this. Coincidence? Serendipity? Fate? OT powers? You decide! Thanks again. Mimsey
Hi Mimsey,
Sorry I'm just not as on top of this thread as most others seem to be. Had a lot of work to do so please forgive my 'com lag.' Thanks for your response. Just to compare notes:
I had plenty of realizations and insights, happy states in auditing sessions. I have a lot of these now all by myself. I never had a lasting state of greater ability though through any auditing process to the best of my recollection. NEVER. Scout's honor.
I changed in many ways while I was a scientologist, but we change anyway. I did become a better listener as long as what I was listening to wasn't taboo. I became more mature I guess, more forceful, and finally more skeptical and intellectually challenging. (Then I left.) But don't these things happen anyway?
I would like to think the auditing I did helped people as well, but I think their gains were fleeting. like mine. Of course I can't know that, but that's what I assume based on an honest assessment of my own experience and a great deal of testimony from others. Still, I think there's great value in being an attentive and supportive listener. This is something I did practice in the cult and something I've decided to use more. But is this scientology? It certainly pre-dates scn and it doesn't really
characterize scn--continuous control, and a sort of 'molding' by training and covert and overt indication of what's wrong with you do. There are or at least were (for me) pockets of understanding in sessions and elsewhere in a general sea of control and labeling.
I didn't do KTL, but I was 'superliterate,' having cleared every word on the student hat and then restudied it. I felt great for a while. Then faded. But I had been looking up words I didn't know since my mid teens. I still do, and I think it's important. That's why we have dictionaries I guess. Wherever learned, looking up words is a great idea.
I never honestly got the 'life is a game' stuff. To me it isn't. It's definitely inexplicable and wondrous when not awful, but I think it's more than a game.
Fixed ideas and the 'data series' were things I was heavily into during part of my s.o. career. The materials seem ambiguous and vague to me now. Like a surrogate for something that was necessarily missing in scn: the use of evidence, rigorous testing, peer review, open discussion, and unfettered
imagination. Hubbard's imagination was evident all over the place, but I think ours was fettered, tamed and directed.
Cycles of action was something I used and I still break things down in that way, but I don't attribute it to scn. I just think, 'If I don't do it, it ain't gettin done.' There's a fair amount of evidence that people have been pretty good at getting thing done too--the space shuttle, jet liners, etc. (Kidding, not insulting)
I still try to be cause over conditions too. Quit smoking last year after 2,354 tries.
John
