This isnt really a trigger phrase, more of a trigger situation...
Recently I handed in my resignation at my current job. Basically Im tired of the FIFO lifestyle and would like to be home more, join a sports team, actually spend time with my partner. Theres a bit more to it but thats the gist. Ive been working overseas or FIFO for over 4 years now, it begins to wear a little thin. Id like the lazy Sunday mornings wandering through markets to be more frequent than currently.
When I was home on break, I contacted an industry "recruiter" (shudder, anyone?) who had emailed me about vacant positions previously. Another one somehow got wind of it, and the two of them began calling me at least 5 times a day for the next 5 days, harassing me for interviews and trying to pressure me into accepting positions literally 5 minutes after the interview (and again at 8am the next morning). I managed to hold them off but it was tough work, and really got me agitated. They were PUSHY and RUDE. Currently there is a big shortage of people with my level of experience in the industry, but I had no idea recruiters would become like such vultures.
Sound familiar??
I ended up accepting an offer, and then had the next couple of days fending off the phone calls: "what can we do to change your mind? These people will offer more. Who cares if you signed, switch over to us" etc etc. Once again, politely held them off, but it really got me wound up. I felt like I was being mean to say no, but also would feel incredibly bad changing my mind once Id said yes to one company. Horrid feelings all round.
I got back up to work here and handed in my resignation. Boy george, has the poop hit the fan. I have had 3 meetings today alone - all of them saying "YOU CANT LEAVE. What can we do to make you stay? We can change rosters, we can change money, we can change departments" etc and they arent taking no for an answer. Apparently the CEO himself has cracked the sads and there have been tantrums in the office in the city.
Ive ended up, this arvo, sitting at my desk feeling like the biggest scumbag in the world. I feel bad for the people who I had to say no to through the recruiters, I feel bad for my boss here, I feel bad for my partner who will be so disappointed if I stay up here. I feel like Im letting everyone down and being selfish no matter WHAT I do.
Sound familiar??
It is very hard for me to take GUILT out of these sorts of situations. I feel responsible for everyone elses position, and what they will have to do if I dont help them specifically. I know I can be easily emotionally blackmailed - the Church did it to me all the time, and apparently I STILL find it hard to stick to my guns and do what is right for me - instead of what everyone else insists they need me to do.
Its a horrid, awful, I-wanna-cry feeling. I dont like being in this position. At least this time its simply a case of being in demand (and I am thankful for that!!) it still has too many "earier similars" for me to really think clearly enough. I feel BAD.
Ahem, that was a bit of a novel...