NEW SCIENTOLOGIST
Hey, thanks for putting this video interview on but I think I've watched enough, I want to go smoke a cig.
TRAINED SCIENTOLOGIST
Was there some word there or idea that you didn't understand?
NEW SCIENTOLOGIST
No, and why does L. Ron Hubbard smirk like that? He just seems weird.
TRAINED SCIENTOLOGIST
Have you heard that somewhere? Do you have friends, family or acquaintances that think LRH is weird?
NEW SCIENTOLOGIST
Who's LRH?
TRAINED SCIENTOLOGIST
L. Ron Hubbard
NEW SCIENTOLOGIST
Oh! Okay, well, anyway. He just doesn't seem to really answer the interviewers questions and, well, I don't know he just seems weird and eccentric. That's fine, I mean, I'm sure he has written some cool stuff but I just don't think any one single man could come up with ALL the answers and I'm going to just get as much information as possible and keep studying lots of different stuff. Anyway, thanks dude.
TRAINED SCIENTOLOGIST
(Talking to self in own head: Hmmm, what do I say, what do I do? This does not compute. Okay, here goes)
So, what are your crimes?
NEW SCIENTOLOGIST
Wait, wut?
TRAINED SCIENTOLOGIST
Ya smokin' pot? Stealin' from work?
NEW SCIENTOLOGIST
What?
TRAINED SCIENTOLOGIST
Anyway, next time you come in you should go see the ethics officer just to make sure you don't have anybody weird on your lines.
NEW SCIENTOLOGIST
What?
TRAINED SCIENTOLOGIST
Trust me, it will all make sense later. So, hey, thanks for coming in and we'll see you tomorrow.
NEW SCIENTOLOGIST
What?
TRAINED SCIENTOLOGIST to SENIOR
That guy needs some serious auditing. He's got all sorts of messes stuck to him. I think it went well today though. We'll see him tomorrow.
TOMORROW COMES:
Where is he?
What happened?