I noticed in some recent discussions that there is an odd kind of imperturbability displayed by a couple of Scientologist type posters. It's as though they almost pride themselves in their ability to continue exactly what they were saying or trying to get across NO MATTER WHAT comes their way.
This got me to thinking about the TR 0 and bullbaiting practice in Scientology.
Is it actually meant to blunt peoples perception of the irritation they are causing, so they will carry on the Hubbard's agenda no matter what resistance they are running into?
Was the auditing use for it a Ruse to instil the numbness without the Trainees beginning to suspect the real purpose of the drills?
I'm not saying this is necessarily the case but thought it might make for an interesting discussion or just maybe an interesting bone to gnaw on.
Because TRs are definitely used to further the abuse. Is it an ability gained or an inability installed?
Not for me. Not at all. I will first discuss OT TR0. This is from a recent post on another thread. I included it all, because my experiences with auditing weren't at all diferent from the "best of TR 0".
I will post separately about TR 0 BullBait.
From:
http://www.forum.exscn.net/showthre...il-and-trouble&p=652517&viewfull=1#post652517
I went exterior big time on TRs - TR0 actually. My space suddenly got very large, colors brightened, my attention went entirely away and off of "inside", and my inner space became VERY quiet. Actually, in a certain sense all sense of "inner" disappeared. I was just there, spread out as a wide field of awareness. It was 100% an enjoyable state.
To me this was "it". What else was there to achieve? My only desire was to LEAVE the courseroom, and go out into the world. I "took the win" and walked around the streets of Boston. Of course, the Church staff wanted me back on course, so there I ended up. But, it "settled down". It was NOT "stable". It didn't last. Within a day I was back "in", with an outer view and an inner view (mind, imagination, etc). The sense of separation came back. It seems though that I didn't go back "down"
quite as far as I had been before, and that a new average or plateau resulted from the experience. I don't know if I dubbed that in or not.
The same sort of thing often happened with early auditing, such as R3R, objectives, and especially some of the expanded Grades. My most vivid memories of getting entirely blown out were with the earlier auditing. It never lasted though. But it had other definite benefits for me.
It gave me actual experiences of what it meant to be "static". I am not saying this metaphorically - all sense of "in" and "out" vanished. I had no thinkingness of any sort. Thinking with words and any sort of "going over anything in my head" vanished. I had no attention "in here", as opposed to "out there", because there was NO "in here". I was just there, granted looking out from the general area of the body, mostly using the body's eyes, but also with no attention on anything involving body sensations (pains, aches, etc.). I felt incredibly "light". I also felt incredibly HAPPY.
Happiness for no "reason". Just the JOY of being one with whatever it is one is one with.
Such experiences gave me an actual true "mystical experience", where all sense of "self" vanished - I had ZERO attention or consideration of myself as a body, as a mind, and I was looking "out at the world through the eyes" like a person might watch a video game on a TV screen. The most beautiful women could walk by and I had no body or sexual desire reaction. I didn't care about that at all either.
I was VERY glad that I had a grounding in having read many other ideas about such things. For example, I had read studies and accounts of people who had enjoyed the "mystical experience". In retrospect, experiences like Satori are almost always described as "sudden and temporary", and they NEVER "last". They can and do provide a "reference", but also, sadly, when one has such an experience, one can REALLY get suckered into whatever system of ideas it happened along with. In Scientology, the line is that this state CAN BE PERMANENT. Maybe it can, but only to some degree. But there is a MAJOR problem with Scientology's overall "Bridge" approach.
I remember reading where Hubbard talked about how emotions "work". He mentioned that the thetan actually mocks up anything it feels, but then chooses to FORGET that fact, so that the IMPACT of the emotion is greater. If you know that you are mocking up (making up) the happiness, it sort of diminishes the "effect" when something nice happens. I did Tone Scale drills where I "created" every emotion at will. I also did extensive visualization drills in other practices where I PUT the happiness THERE, but with and for NO REASON. The attachment of "a reason" for the emotion seems to be an artifice of the thetan. I can experience amazing JOY at will - not by thinking about past pleasure moments, not by finding a convenient "stimulus", but simply by "putting it there". That also has a great deal to do with my practicing various New Age techniques. I never would have figured out or even chosen to do that within a Scientology context.
My point is that thetans seem to like and enjoy the BANG of "being the effect of things". In a sense, the thetan needs to "alter the source of the feeling" (alter-is), to give the feeling real persistence and impact. In the same way, people "go exterior", or "get keyed out" AS AN EFFECT. It HAPPENS to them. They do NOT "cause it" intentionally at will. The entire Scientology Bridge functions in that way. You NEVER learn to bring about any state "at will". It "happens to you" - hopefully.
Now onto meditation. Yes, it was also handled with meditation. I can sit down, and get very lost in the "silence". I can also go out for a walk, and gently intend to allow all thoughts to disappear, to nudge thinking to halt, and settle into a calm joyous view of all around me, as a silent observer. I did this in earnest about 6 months ago, and it SNAPPED, just like in auditing. I POPPED, and there I was, with no outside or inside, just there as a field of awareness, with the forest as my "object" of perception. Also, if you have never done it, pull out the PABs, and locate the Spacation Drill. It is an amazing form of "meditation". Aw heck, I can write it down from memory ( add a bit to it to make it "better":
Sit down in a comfortable chair about 5-10 feet from a back wall. Close your eyes. Locate the upper back two corners (in your mind's eye), and "reach out to them", and either "hold onto them each", or "remain interested in each". As with meditation, if you "lose the attention", gently put it back. Grab onto them again, and hold onto them. And, also DON'T THINK. Just DON'T THINK.
This drill adds an aspect of "creating space", which along with the "don't think" is very powerful. For a certain period it was my favorite morning meditation, as it almost ALWAYS quieted everything down, and snapped me "into the NOW". Hubbard himself said about the drill that any person could do it for months or even years, and probably continually benefit by it. Personally, I suspect that if a person actually DID THE DRILL everyday, even two times, that he or she would get MORE gains than the entire Bridge. It puts you at THE END - at being a "static". Visiting THAT state everyday, at will, by causing it yourself, has amazing value.
Also, when involved in Scientology I used to be the guy to go to in the Academy to get an F/N when a student needed to see one on the E-Meter. At first I would recall an earlier moment of having gone exterior (some were only a few days or a few weeks earlier), so that was easy. But, then I figured out to just "mock up" the FEELING of being exterior. I could "go there". I at times had the thought that I should just DRILL THAT, and forget about the Bridge.
I don't think Scientology has any value as a spiritual system, not in its kicked-in-the-head abusive controlling all-or-nothing
complete form as created by Hubbard and packaged by the Church of Scientology. But, I can see a use for some of the auditing within a MUCH LARGER system involving MANY approaches, such as meditation and visualization. THIS is the value I see from Scientology auditing. 1) It can handle upsets and traumas, and get attention OFF of such things. That takes attention OFF of "inner stuff". 2) It provides a fairly EASY experience of "exterior" or "key out", where the "self" temporarily vanishes. It needs to be EXPLAINED that way, in terms of what the state REALLY IS. Not as some by-product of becoming more able or securing one's eternity (weird concepts). The experience can then become a good stable reference for what you REALLY are - NOT as an "idea", but as a personal experience. 3) It can make it somewhat easier to later do meditation, having addressed and handled some of the more rambunctious, difficult to control, and obnoxious "inner noise".
See, the entire "inner world" really
is an illusion. It doesn't HAVE to be there. It is put and kept there by the thetan, just as is any aspect of "mind". The sense of "inner" is directly related to the mock up of this "ego", of this separate entity known as "you" or "your personality". THAT all goes away naturally in intense moments of "key-out" or "exterior", BUT Hubbard destroys its true value because he INTERPRETS it in a context of Scientology. I suspect that the concept of the "thetan", as some separate individual personality, adds to that confusion. A "thetan" is NOT a "static". The most valuable experience is as a "static".
When a person is really "in the moment", truly "in the NOW", all sense of self vanishes. I should qualify that. When you are in the NOW with your focus on the world around you, all sense of self vanishes. The sense of "inner" disappears. If this has never happened to a person, they probably can't grasp what this "feels like".
To me, from all I have studied and experienced, with myself and many others, along many different paths, a major flaw with Scientology is that it is
sold as a
complete system, and worse, is
heavily enforced as a
complete system. As I see it, it is not. But, along with OTHER practices and techniques, certain aspects might prove VERY useful.
Another major problem with Scientology is that its goals are VERY weird, as "spiritual goals". A better overall goal might be, "to unite one with God", or "union with the source of all-that-is", etc. But goals like "clearing the planet", "expanding Scientology", "making the able more able", "salvaging this sector", and "removing all counter-intention" are inappropriate and even WEIRD!
) help.
