For me, I am still uncovering bits of damage I have sustained from my time in the cult. I have to say though, the one thing that has seemingly f-ed me up the most is the "overt/motivator sequence" and the "PTS/SP" concept. Here is why. The way that I have interpreted the two concepts working together is to mean that everything bad that has happened in your life essentially is due to something you have done to "deserve" it.
That is a really heavy burden to carry. Although I know now how wrong it is, it still sticks with me and I am finding it so hard to shake.
When I first told my father about what all had happened when I was in the SO, the various forms of abuse and such - he was very upset. His solution was to go to the Org's DSA to demand an investigation into my accusations. Well the DSA supposedly went to LA and did a month's long invest on the tidbits of shit I had claimed to have experienced. When she came back, she had my dad and I come in to meet with her at the Org. She brought us into her tiny office. She proceeded to ramble on about how she verified most of my claims with people I had named and several were able to correlate with my story and yadayadayada. She paused - then she said with great flourish, "Melanie, you and I BOTH know that YOU DESERVED EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED TO YOU". I instantly hopped up out of my chair and left as my dad was sitting there nodding in agreement with her.
I just recently found out that the woman since died from cancer. I couldn't help myself. I blurted out "HA! She MUST have DESERVED IT!!!". I guess I am going to hell now.
Anyways, to this day, I am still trying to shake that mentality. It seems to be the hardest one for me. It was hard growing up my whole life "deserving" everything that happened to me. I was not a bad kid.
So what I ask you, has f**ked you up the most from being in that cult?