Disconnection is about the most insidious and destructive thing that results from scientology.... a silent and malevolent force within a family or friends that demands continuing silence even if disconnection has happened.
Very few of us can speak out and name names and events or describe the feelings involved in other than very general terms, I know I can't. This is to protect those that are still bound in the cocoon of control, unable to see beyond it to the vast and obvious truths of life available to those of us outside it, and this is also a choice that demands a large price.
To be totally rejected as a person is a huge personal issue to handle, and for parents it is one of the ultimate challenges. Yes children can disappear into the sunset or choose to leave in other circumstances, scientology is not the only reason. It is however responsible for the most gut wrenching grief to too many, the silent cries of mothers and fathers who are denied access or contact with their children simply because they disagree and will not toe the line that scientology dictates. Thousands and thousands and thousands of us!
Oh my goodness, what courage it takes to stand in your own integrity and be punished for it, surely one of the hardest lessons life can give us. I know too many, those who can't post about it, who can't talk about it and have to bear this burden alone.
All I think we can do for the silent ones is to try and be there on an individual basis, to realise that the generalised comments on disconnection threads often hide a greater distress than is easily described.
For those who do Good Roads the situation is very similar. I did it for a decade until it became bile in my throat to utter the jargon that was the key to communication. Apparently. Of course it's not, how can you have a real relationship when that means you also have to accept the judgement of that family member because you have an illness or life event that makes you unworthy of "salvation" unless you pay through the nose for it and shut your mouth? How can you really even have a conversation when you mentally edit your words before they come out, or fear a confidence will be reported? Disconnection looms overhead all the time you try and be polite and not rock the boat, it's like an inevitable weight above your head to be dropped at the slighest misstep, ghastly stuff.
Disconnection IS policy of scientology and anyone who has ever had anything to do with the subject knows that, including the ex wives on CNN, the deluded bastards who spout the lies to the media, and each and every scientologist who fears to speak because of the consequences. Until the full extent of scientology's crimes is part of folklore, let's do our best to support the disconnected ones. If you know someone who is part of it, keep in touch, remind them they are not to blame and that we really, really need to be kind to ourselves.