Dear (Hoax),
Right now I have the last Ruby Red E-Meter for sale. It is a nice, shiny metal red with gold trim.
It's the last one until they "find" another one. I guess they really think Scientologists are stupid (and some really are stupid)
Public A: "Bill, look at my new meter."
Public B: "Joe, that's beautiful but being so bright and shiny, do you think it might distract your PCs?"
Public A: "Oh, I'm never going to use this meter, it's a collector's item.
Public B: "Oh, it's a collector's item? Cool. Joe, do you know a lot of meter collectors? I mean, do you know who you'll sell this to when you want to reap the great profits of being such a savvy investor?"
Public A: "Bill, are you being CI? $6,000 of the $10,200 I paid went to Planetary Dissemination for translations. We're clearing the planet man."
Public B: "Joe, you paid $10,200 for a meter?!"
Public A: "Well, yeah, plus another $994.50 in sales tax."
Public B: "Dude, you got hosed. Why would you pay almost 1,000.00 tax? Why didn't you just buy a regular meter you could actually use and then just give them a $6,000.00 donation that wasn't subject to sales tax?"
Public A: "Because, it was THE LAST ONE"
Public B: "Damn! Why didn't you say that in the first place? It was THE LAST ONE? High-five dude, yeah!"
To make this easy, this beautiful Ruby Red E-Meter is: $10,200 (plus 9.75% sales tax if delivered inside CA).
What, exactly in this sentence, makes this easy? What this really means is:
"I have my senior breathing down my neck every 5 minutes, baiting and badgering me, and I cannot secure until I sell this fucking meter, so, listen up...I'm gonna make this easy for you Mister OT VII who wants to pass his next 6 month check showing he actually did something for mankind, capiche?"
In addition to the fact that this meter is the last of its kind, it is also a Planetary Dissemination Meter and its purpose is to raise funds to help speed along translations of all Dianetics and Scientology materials into 50 languages so that we can reach all peoples of Earth. This means $6,000 of the above price is also tax deductible.
There are exactly 6228 languages spoken on Earth today. I'm really hoping you find more of these ruby red meters or we're doomed.
Call me for more details: 323-960-3100 cell: 323-808-8542 or simply reply to this e-mail
"Dear BSO,
I'd call for more details, but what else is there to know? I had to bump up my credit on each of my 8 maxed out cards plus I got a loan on my car. Just run my cards, you have them all on file. I'll have to give you the last 2,000.00 when the loan goes through next week."
On the phone: "Bill, I need you to find someone to bridge this loan for you. We need the money tonight. Please make this go right buddy. You are so OT, let's play the birthday game for blood here."
"Who is going to give me $2,000.00 at midnight?"
"Bill, it's THE LAST ONE!"
"All right, but only because it's THE LAST ONE"
And they all lived happily ever after until the next day, when the IAS came into town and had to turn Bill into a Patron Meritorious with 8 maxed out credit cards and no assets. They did it though. Until next time.....
The End
, gave me a reason to show him the chapter on nerve assist though
.
