When I was on staff at a tiny crappy Mission

Voltaire's Child

Fool on the Hill
I was once on staff at a Mission. I started off as a volunteer staff
member. The ED always approvingly commented that you could set your watch by me, I was that reliable.

Sometime later, a poison pen letter came in that had gone up the lines and
came down from Int Mgmt to that mission with demands for explanation. It
was from a disgruntled ex Mission student ( a long time one) who wrote a
negative paragraph about every single person there. It was almost like she
was trying to think of things she could comment on in a negative way. So
there was a paragraph that said "Well, I don't know much about Claire, but
she IS living with a druggie." Which was true. I was living with a guy (not
John) who took a lot of drugs and thought beer was a type of religion. The
mission had never tried to intervene in this relationship, although he was a
non Scn'ist.


The Mission holder said she was trying to "cover your ass" (because of the
letter) and that I should therefore sign a contract. I said I liked being
volunteer because I could get time off to do things and whatnot. She said
that I could still have that. So I signed. I was, in a way, sort of tricked
or coerced into doing so.


Oh well. Life is for learning.


So after a year and a half I found that it pretty much sucked there and that
no promise made to me would be honored. When I tried to get some time off to do some things I was told that since I didn't get this promise in writing,
then it wasn't valid. The mission holder did NOT deny making such promises,
either. So I said, Well, I just have about a year or so to go. I'm glad. She
then said my contract hadn't even started running yet because I hadn't done
all the staff statuses yet. (I've looked and looked through policy and
found this NOWHERE).


So there was some back and forthing, and I ended up feeling stuck with the
situation and that I was, in effect, a slave.


Every time any money came in to the mission, the missionholder took it and
said "oops, they owe me back rent.". I received $5.00 the whole time I was
working there.


John and I would show up Saturday or Sunday a.m. (it was all foundation
hours there) and the Missionholder, her husband, her daughter, her daugher's
boyfriend,- all management staff- would be sound asleep. And the doors would be locked because they were all asleep. They assured us that they put in plenty of time when we weren't there. And that although they told us
schedules must be rigorously adhered to, they themselves were exempted from this.


Again, young, feeling trapped, went with it.


Then, later, the Missionholder indicated she might want to give up the
charter. She was getting older and wanted to move away to CW, or do
something else.


Meanwhile she was dramatizing and yelling constantly. Nothing we did was
ever right.


So John and I and another person came in and asked her for the mission
charter. Asked,not demanded. She blew up. Said we didn't do any research. So we told her we did, told her which entity we called, then she blew up about that. She brought in her daughter's boyfriend and he accused us of mutiny. Of course this was false as we'd demanded nothing.


We were put in lower conditions and a call to the parent Org was made. They
sent down a woman who I later saw on a list of people expelled and declared
a couple years later. Her style was mainly to look steely eyed, shriek, and
point fingers of blame. No one ever asked us what happened. She took a
shine to John and got him sent away for some auditing. She had an entirely
different response to yours truly and to our friend.


So I was there while John was gone, and I was working as in lowered
conditions. Most people there wouldn't look me in the eye except for a
couple people who would sneak me a snack or a pat on the back. I was In
Disgrace, as it were.


So John came back and so did the Missionholder's husband, who'd been away at an AO for training and auditing of some sort. He interviewed all of us and
asked what happened. I told him and he said "No, here's what happened. There was a squirrel group, you got sucked in, and then mutinied." I said no.


So this went on and on.


The 3 of us got busted for trying to take our pc folders with us one night,
too. Stopped at the door by several men who implied that they'd use force if
they'd have to. We left our folders there.


Finally I said, look, just let me out of here, I'll take the Freeloader
debt, no problem. I was told I had to do ethics handlings. So I did. I
showed up and I was placed in the lowest condition there is. Confusion. Not
Doubt or Liability. Nope. Confusion. So I went with it although it didn't
"indicate", since I felt trapped. Then I said I'd worked through it and I
was told that I couldn't be let out of that condition until I signed back on
staff. Never have I seen this as an indication that someone's out of
Confusion in any policy, but then again, their own "scriptures", so to
speak, can be bent every which way if it suits any exec.


The idea was to have me back on staff but in lower conditions so that I
could be made to do all kinds of scut work, extra hours, etc.


So I refused to do that and wasn't let out of the condition. They never
pushed John to come in to Ethics, just mentioned it a bit, he never came but
he never refused.


Later on they said he refused ethics handling which was untrue.


So I went home and stopped coming in as did John. The mission holder's
husband visited us at our apartment and told me that I was leaving because I
wanted to go to the movies. I assured him this wasn't the case but he'd
already made up his mind.


We were given a choice by the parent Org and by the Mission. Go back to the Mission or go work at THAT Org or be expelled. We said we weren't going back and that the mission holder had sanctioned many departures and blows in the past, so let her sanction one more.


We were rather upset because we still believed in the system in those days
and thought that the church was actually just fine, it was just this one
Mission. So we were puzzled that the Org would not listen to us. We
requested a comm ev and did not get one. We sent many write ups to that Org with no response.


We got a sort of draft of an expell/declare decree and it had mutiny in it.
I sent back a letter outlining all the reasons it wasn't mutiny and so the
expulsion went through without that charge and with very little else.


We were expelled for crossing the Mission holder and pissing her off. Per
the "Leaving and Leaves" PL if someone wants to leave staff then let them
leave. But this is not honored very often. It wasn't in this case.


The Expulsion order claimed that John refused Ethics (not true) and that I'd
broken the Leaving and Leaves PL by telling John I was leaving staff. John
not being just my husband but also a staff member and per that PL you can't
announce any impending departures. They reasoned that I *must* have told him that since he was my husband and that therefore I *must* have committed a high crime.


I believe this is known as a Catch 22. Heh.


A few weeks later the Mission called John up to demand all our books and
meters. He laughed in their face (well, actually, this was on the phone. But
he did laugh.) and the Missionholder's daughter who'd made the call freaked
out and put her Mom on the phone who started ranting and screaming about
squirrel groups. Now, many of these books were given to us by my Dad, and
the rest we'd paid for ourselves. Hell, no, they couldn't have them.


I went away to some event where they said they could help Scn'ists who ran
afoul of the Scn justice system but nothing happened there. I hooked up with
a former friend of mine from the mission and we reestablished our
friendship. I was really glad.


Then, later, I got a letter from her saying she couldn't see me any more
because she was about to get auditing and couldn't "go PTS" and I had to do
A to E steps. I told her I was working with an EO at an Org, (by then I was.
We'd moved from the area and one of the first things I did was to hook up
with an EO at an Org- not Seattle- to work on getting the expulsion
overturned.) and she said it wasn't good enough. Overturning isn't doing an
A to E set of steps. I know this was the mission holder's hand in things
because they had personally told me I'd be better off doing A to E steps
rather than trying to get the expulsion overturned since the missionholder
herself had once gotten an expulsion overturned (of hers) and it took her 6
years. My response was, Ok, cool. Let it take 6 years. My "friend" said
reestablishing friendship was contingent on my doing A to E. I told her
nothing like that had ever been mentioned and that if it had, I'd have told
her where to go.


Later we got a copy of our free loader debt which was padded. It had items
like plane fare to Flag even though this had been paid for by us, not by the
Mission, and room and board at this one town when I went away to an Org for training, even though I'd stayed with my Aunt and Uncle who were, I believe, Lutherans.


The mission ceased to exist. The Missionholder used this as an excuse of
sorts to disband it, which was something she'd wanted to do for quite some
time in any event, and move down to CW.


We asked for a comm ev in Seattle and got one.


During this time a good friend of mine back in my old neck of the woods
bumped into the Missionholder's husband downtown and said happily "Well,
Claire and John are doing well. Looks like they're going to get this
overturned." He said "They'll have to do A to E."


(a note to those unfamiliar with this term and process. A to E steps are
designed for those who are expelled and want to get back in . The person
ends up admitting his fault and guilt and has to do amends. My position was
that it wasn't a valid expulsion so why would I do such steps?)


So the comm ev wrote to the Missionholders as interested parties. They did
not respond. At all.


This made the comm ev go in our favor. Plus their comment was that if
someone wants to leave staff, then let them leave. I'd gone to ethics, tried
really hard to toe the line, so what was the problem. They also said if a
spouse tells her husband what she wants to do that this would be a normal
and natural thing.


So, it was overturned.


The reason I'd wanted it overturned instead of just saying good riddance was
I did not know the things I know now. Had I known them, I'd not have been
interested in getting back in the church. But I'd been told "We don't do
that anymore" many times. I'd believed it. I had been told there'd be
nowhere else to study Scn and things of that nature.


I've remarked on this forum that a lot of people may stay in CofS 'cuz
they're worried about being "cut off from salvation". Well, it was certainly
true in my case.


At this point, I no longer worry about it. I carry my own seeds of salvation
and can do what I like.


Back then, I thought what happened was an anomaly in an otherwise good
church. I do not have this perspective now, of course, but I surely did
then.


I have heard there are many people who get expelled and then do A to E and
sometimes again and again. I knew a couple, actually.


For me, this second expulsion is the last one, as witness my having walked
out one year before this second one went through.
 

Alan

Gold Meritorious Patron
Fluffy.

Gawd! What a horror show!......:mad:

Alan
________
 
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Voltaire's Child

Fool on the Hill
We were so young and eager. All J wanted to do was deliver tech. I eventually became tech staff, too, but my metier probably would have been more along Admin lines.

We just wanted to help.

(oh I'm so whiny this a.m.!)

The missionholder had been like a Mom to me, having daughters a few years older than I was.

Isn't it funny that I thought this was all just anomalies and that it doesn't happen elsewhere?

The lady acted like it was her own private fiefdom. This happens in other mission and in a different sort of way in orgs, etc.

Is there a school for staff that nobody told me about? how to be a lying asshole? Because she sure acted like some other EDs I've heard of even though we were out in the boonies.
 

Sky

Patron with Honors
Wow Fluffy,

There are so many things that happened to me that were similar to your experience. The excruciatingly incompetent "Justice System," the verbal agreements that are then said to be invalid since they weren't in writing, the Catch 22s all over the place. The idea that all these things were just isolated incidents or that someone was just not trained enough to apply the tech properly.

It's just so insane. I can understand why someone who had never been in Scientology would be flabbergasted that someone would stay after experiencing all that craziness.

Sky
 

KMomma

Patron
Wow, what a load of crap. And that's the repayment you get for giving up your time, money and energy.

What's also interesting is that *you* were put in the condition of confusion rather than the person or entity causing the confusion and problems. It looks like the higher orgs didn't side with who was truly correct but who had the potential to turn over the most money. The lowly unpaid staffer or the missionholder? Hmmm...they are most definitely not ethical in any sense of the word.
 

Voltaire's Child

Fool on the Hill
Yeah, it was true crap. I kept hoping that it would get better. I just couldn't believe that the people who were at my wedding, etc, would do that.

The conditions are used in such a way in CofS as to only be of benefit to CofS. My husband has said many times that if the condition does not indicate, then it's not one's condition and one shouldn't accept it and does not have to.

This is hard to keep in mind when being browbeaten.

And even if I had been in confusion- which I know that I wasn't- but even if I had- I wasn't allowed to go on to the next one up til I did what they wanted. The EP has to be "doing what they want us to do".

Just before J and I moved from the area, I ordered some books from them by mail, and they didn't cash my check. So the daughter (I'll bet anything she's no longer in) called me and we chatted. But she knuckled under to her Mom again- did sell me the books- but again her Mom (even though I was still expelled), the missionholder, called me (She had her Mom call me) and said she didn't want me to "get in trouble" and would I please consider giving up my meters.

They REALLY don't want people to have those!! Certain people, anyway.

One time after I was expelled, I was tootling around the town with a friend of mine who was public there. We were in the car chatting, and looked up across traffic and there was the missionholder's daughter and the one chick who later said she'd be my friend, oh oops, no she wouldn't, and their mouths just hung up cuz I was with my friend who was still in good standing.

Soon after that, everyone who knew us and had liked us, got nastygrams from the mission with quotes from LRH about SPs, highlighted in bright fluroescent colors. Yay!

When I got my expulsion overturned (some people had never stopped talking to me, never disconnected) - to the ones who'd stopped talking to us, I mailed copies of the comm ev's finding. I had my Mother in Law do it so that there would be a different post mark on them.

Sort of a nyah nyah.

I'm such a snot, you know, that I put a message in with each one. I made sure it wasn't out and out "entheta" but I did say things like "I'm sure glad I didn't listen to some of the folks who thought I should do a step (A to E) that didn't apply to me!"

Also a nyah nyah.

I have a pet peeve. (actually, I have many). I have less respect for turncoats/capos/trusties (like prison trusty) etc than I do for the actual creep doing the really bad stuff. Like in a thriller I read where the people were hijacked and some of them turned on each other, sucked up to the terrorists, then, when rescued, went on and on about how glad they were to be rescued and American and all. I freaking HATE people like that and would sooner cozy up to David Miscavige and Osama Bin Laden then those.

I felt I met some people like that, at that mission.

Know what I mean?
 

Lulu Belle

Moonbat
I have a pet peeve. (actually, I have many). I have less respect for turncoats/capos/trusties (like prison trusty) etc than I do for the actual creep doing the really bad stuff. Like in a thriller I read where the people were hijacked and some of them turned on each other, sucked up to the terrorists, then, when rescued, went on and on about how glad they were to be rescued and American and all. I freaking HATE people like that and would sooner cozy up to David Miscavige and Osama Bin Laden then those.

I felt I met some people like that, at that mission.

Know what I mean?

You would have lasted about five minutes in the Sea Org.

LOL!!!
 

Voltaire's Child

Fool on the Hill
I'm sure that's true, from what I hear and read.

However, do keep in mind that I lasted a lot longer at the mission than I really should have, given my pet peeve and all. I ate crap for years. Two and a half or more, counting the volunteer year. And there was tons of that capricious crap going on there, as you see.

I didn't really start exercising the afore mentioned peeve til I was on my way out then more when I left. So there was a longish period of time where I was a good indoc'd little staff member. I mean, c'mon! I actually climbed into a window while the fat-asses at the mission were asleep because I wanted to be on my post! I don't know that I wouldn't have done something similar in the SO, had I joined.

And J ended up with malnutrition...

The real reason I didn't join the SO was: I knew it was institutional living, wearing uniforms, working 7 days a week, etc. I didn't mind, (for a time) giving most of my waking hours to the cult, but I wanted to be in my own home, wearing my own clothes that I shopped for, with my own pets.

Can't do that in an institutional setting.
 

Romuva

Patron Meritorious
and then you left and they wrote a nice bulletin about you?(Or was it write up?)
Well ,maybe they didn't.

It was the bulletins I used to read that made me see through the COS
B.S.
 

Voltaire's Child

Fool on the Hill
Well, she either said it or she didn't. And she did. I was quoting her.Verbatim.

Wow, guys, I have my own lil' cyberstalker heah!;)
 

ot.vii

Patron
It's interesting that you went through all that crap yet you still know the tech works. Did I skip something or is the above a true statement? And that you post on the XSCN board, not invalidating the tech, just the people you came in contact with on your quest for enlightenment. I have known many people in my current life who have expereiences similar trauma. Myself included. The most important thing I keep in mind is that my gains from Scientology are real and permanent; as long as I perceive such to be true for me. And that I can do the same for another or others as I have received through the use of standard LRH tech. I'm not a doubter, though I do respect other opinions and people with dislikes for the church. It isn't the current "church" that is a worry. It is that because of the current "church" (meaning two or three individuals there-in) we stand to lose people to altered technology and policy which will damage the road to freedom. That's my concern.

ARC

Roy
 

Alanzo

Bardo Tulpa
OT.VII -

Do you have more freedom now that you are an Ex-Scn, or less?

See, what I found was that the more I traveled the Road to Total Freedom, the less freedom I actually had. I found had to give up more and more freedom as I traveled the road to Total Freedom. Isn't that quite an outpoint?

You must have seen the same thing.

Or else you wouldn't be here, right?
 

Voltaire's Child

Fool on the Hill
It's interesting that you went through all that crap yet you still know the tech works. Did I skip something or is the above a true statement? And that you post on the XSCN board, not invalidating the tech, just the people you came in contact with on your quest for enlightenment. I have known many people in my current life who have expereiences similar trauma. Myself included. The most important thing I keep in mind is that my gains from Scientology are real and permanent; as long as I perceive such to be true for me. And that I can do the same for another or others as I have received through the use of standard LRH tech. I'm not a doubter, though I do respect other opinions and people with dislikes for the church. It isn't the current "church" that is a worry. It is that because of the current "church" (meaning two or three individuals there-in) we stand to lose people to altered technology and policy which will damage the road to freedom. That's my concern.

ARC

Roy

Hi, Roy,

I have become rather heretical about some things in Scn, I do question and disagree with LRH on some things, but yes, I know that I have attained real and lasting gains and learned about myself from Scn auditing and other Scn tech and even from some Scn policy.

It bugs the hell out of some people, but I do not deny my own experiences.

I've had a number of people take potshots at me for picking and choosing, which I do, but aren't total exes (by which I mean ex COfS members who profess no belief in any tech and general dislike for all of it) also picking and choosing? They elect to look at the things that went wrong in course, session, on post, re dealings with others in CofS, and to give credence to those things. And I'm not faulting them for it- I give credence to things I've seen that indicated that there were problems with tech and policy in some areas and not just how they were being applied. But anyway, they've elected to pick those things and to ignore times they enjoyed being in session, on course, applied some Scn principle and liked it. So I don't see how they can point fingers at me or anyone else for picking and choosing. This is what we're all doing.

Picking and choosing and evaluating based on our experiences.

Although LRH did not think so, I do think there's a "YMMV" aspect to tech. I also think that some of it's better or worse than other bits.

I think he wasn't right about everything.

But having said that, and harkening back to what I said earlier, I'm not going to deny the experiences I've had that were quite real and good and which were not hypnotic. I also won't deny that there's some truly draconian and silly assed crap that LRH wrote in policy AND the fact that in addition to that, there're execs who routinely expect church staff to play fast and loose with policy and with people's lives if it means making a stat.
 

Royal Prince Xenu

Trust the Psi Corps.
Actually things like Wal-Mart or Albertson's are the biggest religions on the planet right now.
Never heard of Albertsons, but I would like to take photos of various chruches and photo-shop the steeples from "†" to "$".

If you visit the average house, you will find that the most significant religious artifact dominates the loungeroom and is commonly referred to as the "TV".
 

Voltaire's Child

Fool on the Hill
Yes, we sure do spend a lot of time peering into glass screens ('puters and tvs).

It's fun, tho'.

BTW, Albertson's is a large grocery chain on the West coast and is known by other names in other parts of the country.
 
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