Why Am I Here?

solo

Patron with Honors
This isn't an esoteric question about beingness, it's about ESMB. I come here and lurk sometimes and occasionally I post. I have been out of Scientology for 30 years, so I really should be free of all this. I'm a granny, I could be sitting in front of the fire with my cat asleep on the sofa and I could be knitting a blanket for the soon-to-be-born baby.

So why am I coming onto ESMB endlessly, reading and sometimes posting? Can it be that I am behaving obsessively, that I am unable to let go of the past?

You know, I think my time in the SO came at what should have been the peak of my life's activity, from age 20 to 30, and that could be true of many of us, as we were recruited when we were most likely to be looking for answers to the meaning of life, or disillusioned by society's failure to give us fulfilment.

Also, I recognise that one of the things the SO gave me was a massive group to belong to, and I have never got over the loss of that. I constantly look for news of people I knew back then. Even though I have many other friends from before and after Scientology, none of them share that overwhelming reality.

So. That's why I'm here, I'd like to be here if and when it all comes down, because I do hold Scientology responsible for the loss of some of the most important years of my life. And yes, I want to help anyone who is thinking of leaving, because they need our support.

But mostly I am here because my people are here. Whether I know you personally, or if you have long since forgotten me, I was just another little SO member, trying to get my stats up and find the meaning of life. We are all important, whatever happened to us and whatever we have done since Scientology.


Solo
 

Sindy

Crusader
This isn't an esoteric question about beingness, it's about ESMB. I come here and lurk sometimes and occasionally I post. I have been out of Scientology for 30 years, so I really should be free of all this. I'm a granny, I could be sitting in front of the fire with my cat asleep on the sofa and I could be knitting a blanket for the soon-to-be-born baby.

So why am I coming onto ESMB endlessly, reading and sometimes posting? Can it be that I am behaving obsessively, that I am unable to let go of the past?

You know, I think my time in the SO came at what should have been the peak of my life's activity, from age 20 to 30, and that could be true of many of us, as we were recruited when we were most likely to be looking for answers to the meaning of life, or disillusioned by society's failure to give us fulfilment.

Also, I recognise that one of the things the SO gave me was a massive group to belong to, and I have never got over the loss of that. I constantly look for news of people I knew back then. Even though I have many other friends from before and after Scientology, none of them share that overwhelming reality.

So. That's why I'm here, I'd like to be here if and when it all comes down, because I do hold Scientology responsible for the loss of some of the most important years of my life. And yes, I want to help anyone who is thinking of leaving, because they need our support.

But mostly I am here because my people are here. Whether I know you personally, or if you have long since forgotten me, I was just another little SO member, trying to get my stats up and find the meaning of life. We are all important, whatever happened to us and whatever we have done since Scientology.


Solo


What a nice post. Thank you. :hug::cheers::smoochy:
 

afaceinthecrowd

Gold Meritorious Patron
This isn't an esoteric question about beingness, it's about ESMB. I come here and lurk sometimes and occasionally I post. I have been out of Scientology for 30 years, so I really should be free of all this. I'm a granny, I could be sitting in front of the fire with my cat asleep on the sofa and I could be knitting a blanket for the soon-to-be-born baby.

So why am I coming onto ESMB endlessly, reading and sometimes posting? Can it be that I am behaving obsessively, that I am unable to let go of the past?

You know, I think my time in the SO came at what should have been the peak of my life's activity, from age 20 to 30, and that could be true of many of us, as we were recruited when we were most likely to be looking for answers to the meaning of life, or disillusioned by society's failure to give us fulfilment.

Also, I recognise that one of the things the SO gave me was a massive group to belong to, and I have never got over the loss of that. I constantly look for news of people I knew back then. Even though I have many other friends from before and after Scientology, none of them share that overwhelming reality.

So. That's why I'm here, I'd like to be here if and when it all comes down, because I do hold Scientology responsible for the loss of some of the most important years of my life. And yes, I want to help anyone who is thinking of leaving, because they need our support.

But mostly I am here because my people are here. Whether I know you personally, or if you have long since forgotten me, I was just another little SO member, trying to get my stats up and find the meaning of life. We are all important, whatever happened to us and whatever we have done since Scientology.


Solo

Magnifico Solo. :yes::yes::yes:

Simply M-A-G-N-I-F-I-C-O. :thumbsup::clap::thumbsup::clap::thumbsup::clap:

Face :flowers:
 

SchwimmelPuckel

Genuine Meatball
Very nice post Solo! :)

I'm here because... Not because I ever felt I belonged or even was welcome in the group, Scientology.. That was all fake ARC and betrayal for me..

In fact, I'm here because I feel I belong in this group, ESMB (the intire EX community really, and the Anons).. Well, I like it lots!

Ah, and I'm here to bash Hubbard of course, and talk shit about his tech!

:yes:
 

solo

Patron with Honors
I'm here because... Not because I ever felt I belonged or even was welcome in the group, Scientology.. That was all fake ARC and betrayal for me..

In fact, I'm here because I feel I belong in this group, ESMB (the intire EX community really, and the Anons).. Well, I like it lots!

Ah, and I'm here to bash Hubbard of course, and talk shit about his tech!

:yes:

Ah yes, it was mostly fake ARC and betrayal, but as you say we belong in THIS group, the exes.

And I'm also here to bash Hubbard and rubbish his tech of course!

Why are the rest of you here?

Solo
 

FoTi

Crusader
Ah yes, it was mostly fake ARC and betrayal, but as you say we belong in THIS group, the exes.

And I'm also here to bash Hubbard and rubbish his tech of course!

Why are the rest of you here?

Solo

Share stories. Learn more of the truth. Watch the demise of the CoS.
 

TheRealNoUser

Patron with Honors
Ah yes, it was mostly fake ARC and betrayal, but as you say we belong in THIS group, the exes.

And I'm also here to bash Hubbard and rubbish his tech of course!

Why are the rest of you here?

Solo
I'm here because this is the place to read about hard facts, rather than the ethereal bullshit that many of us fell for while members of the "Church". On ESMB we get to read factual events from people who were there. We get to understand the mechanism of the con. We get to understand our own weaknesses that let us get conned. We get to understand our own strengths that helped us to say "Enough of this shit, I want to read some external sources of information about Scientology". We get to support each other through something as simple as clicking a "Like" button at the bottom of a post. We get to help others by letting them know that they are not alone in being conned, and that a desire to help others has absolutely nothing to do with the Church of Scientology.

And finally I'm here because if just one new person reads something on ESMB that takes income away from the CoS, it lets me know that it was a good day.
 

WildKat

Gold Meritorious Patron
Ah yes, it was mostly fake ARC and betrayal, but as you say we belong in THIS group, the exes.

And I'm also here to bash Hubbard and rubbish his tech of course!

Why are the rest of you here?

Solo

What you said fits my situation too. In my 50's, in the SO many moons ago, I keep coming back to ESMB to look for news. I watch Marty's site too, but don't post on it. The bashers here are more fun. The True Believers over there kinda make me sick, lol!

But yes, I too have wondered about why I keep coming back. It is hard to give up and let go of it. I like to think these days it's more about entertainment. Except that sometimes you read a new person's sad story, and you get filled with the idea of "need to help get the word out so others don't fall victim" . Not that I want to save anyone. I never felt like anyone needed "saving" or intervention.

I guess people just need information and need to come to their own conclusions, on their own time.
 

anonomog

Gold Meritorious Patron
Ah yes, it was mostly fake ARC and betrayal, but as you say we belong in THIS group, the exes.

And I'm also here to bash Hubbard and rubbish his tech of course!

Why are the rest of you here?

Solo

Evolution from curiosity, interest, activism/dissemination, outrage to getting really fond of everyone here. I didn't expect to feel that way.
I'm always aware that I am a guest in a community bound by experiences that I haven't shared.

I love seeing people emerge from the cocoon and spread their wings. Its even good to see them fly away, although I sometimes see old posts and wonder how they are doing now.
 

Axiom142

Gold Meritorious Patron
Well, if nothing else, it’s dammed good entertainment.

When I think what people pay for satellite TV, it’s incredible value for money.

And, where else can we ‘meet’ other people who went through what we did? We’re all different, but we have so much in common. I don’t think it is possible for those that were never ‘in’ to fully understand us.

Plus, I get a kick out of helping others get one over on the cult. :devil:

Axiom142
 

La La Lou Lou

Crusader
Partly I am here to watch the cult have ethics put in on it.

Partly because I share a lot of experience with people here, experience I have real difficulty talking to 'ordinary' people about.

Partly to find out about people that I knew and cared about.

Partly due to the fact that I did have some very pleasurable moments among the horrific or painful experiences. These were memories of feasts to celebrate birthday game winning not because I was celebrating the continental GI but because I was so happy that we were able to eat real food. The feeling of a group of people sharing the joy of taste and the ingestion of nutrients, like finding a fancy French restaurant in the middle of a desert after a months fasting.

Partly so I can give information about my abuse by the cult.

Very much because there's some people, I don't know if I shared a dorm with them before or not, I don't know who they really are, but I enjoy their company, even if it's on line and not in person.
 

vumba

Danielle Chamberlin
I like you being here too. :)

Paul

I second this too!! I am so glad we managed to "meet" up again and I so look forward to us meeting for real again this year!... and herein lies one of the main motivations behind why I joined ESMB. To meet up with old friends who lived the same reality we did, and really "get it".

As I was so young I knew nothing else, and my years in Scientology have informed a lot of whom I have become in many ways; and hopefully in a good way. I like this Post and thank you for starting it. Great idea.

I too wish to be here if I'm needed. I don't wish anyone still "in" any ill will, I just want for them to become aware of what is actually going on, and believe it. I would like them to step out of their Ivory Towers and Gilded Cages and really SEE the truth. We can only be here to ensure they find out the truth in a safe, loving and supportive environment.

:eyeroll:
 
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solo

Patron with Honors
I second this too!! I am so glad we managed to "meet" up again and I so look forward to us meeting for real again this year!... and herein lies one of the main motivations behind why I joined ESMB. To meet up with old friends who lived the same reality we did, and really "get it".

As I was so young I knew nothing else, and my years in Scientology have informed a lot of whom I have become in many ways; and hopefully in a good way. I like this Post and thank you for starting it. Great idea.

I too wish to be here if needed. I don't wish anyone still "in" all ill will, I just want for them to become aware of what is actually going on, and believe it. I would like them to step out of their Ivory Towers and Gilded Cages and really SEE the truth. We can only be here to ensure they find out the truth in a safe, loving and supportive environment.

:eyeroll:

Thanks Vumba! Looking forward to meeting up again soon, and thank you for being here,

Solo
 

Lohan2008

Gold Meritorious Patron
>We are all important, whatever happened to us and whatever we have done since Scientology.

Nice to hear from you Solo, thanks for posting.
 
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