Why Am I Here?

Ogsonofgroo

Crusader
Wow !
:omg:

112 post in 5 years, that has got to be some sort of record !!!

:thewave:

lol, I do like that people wander off then return to check things out again, doesn't happen nearly often enough.
Always nice to hear how people are doing, and its not the quantity but the quality :)

:carryon:
 

Sharone Stainforth

Silver Meritorious Patron
This isn't an esoteric question about beingness, it's about ESMB. I come here and lurk sometimes and occasionally I post. I have been out of Scientology for 30 years, so I really should be free of all this. I'm a granny, I could be sitting in front of the fire with my cat asleep on the sofa and I could be knitting a blanket for the soon-to-be-born baby.

So why am I coming onto ESMB endlessly, reading and sometimes posting? Can it be that I am behaving obsessively, that I am unable to let go of the past?

You know, I think my time in the SO came at what should have been the peak of my life's activity, from age 20 to 30, and that could be true of many of us, as we were recruited when we were most likely to be looking for answers to the meaning of life, or disillusioned by society's failure to give us fulfilment.

Also, I recognise that one of the things the SO gave me was a massive group to belong to, and I have never got over the loss of that. I constantly look for news of people I knew back then. Even though I have many other friends from before and after Scientology, none of them share that overwhelming reality.

So. That's why I'm here, I'd like to be here if and when it all comes down, because I do hold Scientology responsible for the loss of some of the most important years of my life. And yes, I want to help anyone who is thinking of leaving, because they need our support.

But mostly I am here because my people are here. Whether I know you personally, or if you have long since forgotten me, I was just another little SO member, trying to get my stats up and find the meaning of life. We are all important, whatever happened to us and whatever we have done since Scientology.


Solo

That's a lovely post and no, I haven't forgotten you, how could I? Hope your doing well.

I keep thinking I won't come back, but I always do, maybe there's something to that Sea Org motto after all.:biggrin:

Love to you.
Sharone
 

Smilla

Ordinary Human
This isn't an esoteric question about beingness, it's about ESMB. I come here and lurk sometimes and occasionally I post. I have been out of Scientology for 30 years, so I really should be free of all this. I'm a granny, I could be sitting in front of the fire with my cat asleep on the sofa and I could be knitting a blanket for the soon-to-be-born baby.

So why am I coming onto ESMB endlessly, reading and sometimes posting? Can it be that I am behaving obsessively, that I am unable to let go of the past?

You know, I think my time in the SO came at what should have been the peak of my life's activity, from age 20 to 30, and that could be true of many of us, as we were recruited when we were most likely to be looking for answers to the meaning of life, or disillusioned by society's failure to give us fulfilment.

Also, I recognise that one of the things the SO gave me was a massive group to belong to, and I have never got over the loss of that. I constantly look for news of people I knew back then. Even though I have many other friends from before and after Scientology, none of them share that overwhelming reality.

So. That's why I'm here, I'd like to be here if and when it all comes down, because I do hold Scientology responsible for the loss of some of the most important years of my life. And yes, I want to help anyone who is thinking of leaving, because they need our support.

But mostly I am here because my people are here. Whether I know you personally, or if you have long since forgotten me, I was just another little SO member, trying to get my stats up and find the meaning of life. We are all important, whatever happened to us and whatever we have done since Scientology.


Solo

Please post more often :)
 

solo

Patron with Honors
That's a lovely post and no, I haven't forgotten you, how could I? Hope your doing well.

I keep thinking I won't come back, but I always do, maybe there's something to that Sea Org motto after all.:biggrin:

Love to you.
Sharone

Thank you so much Sharone, ha ha, maybe you're right!
love
Solo
 

KissMyStats

Patron with Honors
Thanks for your post, Solo. You nailed it. We were in a group that shared not only a common goal (cleared planet) but common lifestyles, way of thinking, way of speaking, way of dealing with life, way of dealing with others, and a biggie that we shared is not communicating about what was really going on, what we really thought, and all the introversion that occurred amongst ourselves thinking we were at fault, we had overts, MU's, evil purps, counter intention, ad infinitem. So to finally be able to unload on a message board with others who went through the same thing is such a huge relief. I know it is for me. Whether I post or not, just reading others experiences and viewpoints is so refreshing and just plain fun. This is like the bestest ever support group, if you will, in the universe !
 

Thrak

Gold Meritorious Patron
The reason I think I hang around is that it's a place where I can communicate openly about a part of my life that I can't bring up around others. Plus there is the karma thing. I just love seeing scientology disintegrate piece by piece. To scio's offended by that, sorry but scientology really "pulled that in".
 
This isn't an esoteric question about beingness, it's about ESMB. I come here and lurk sometimes and occasionally I post. I have been out of Scientology for 30 years, so I really should be free of all this. I'm a granny, I could be sitting in front of the fire with my cat asleep on the sofa and I could be knitting a blanket for the soon-to-be-born baby.

So why am I coming onto ESMB endlessly, reading and sometimes posting? Can it be that I am behaving obsessively, that I am unable to let go of the past?

You know, I think my time in the SO came at what should have been the peak of my life's activity, from age 20 to 30, and that could be true of many of us, as we were recruited when we were most likely to be looking for answers to the meaning of life, or disillusioned by society's failure to give us fulfilment.

Also, I recognise that one of the things the SO gave me was a massive group to belong to, and I have never got over the loss of that. I constantly look for news of people I knew back then. Even though I have many other friends from before and after Scientology, none of them share that overwhelming reality.

So. That's why I'm here, I'd like to be here if and when it all comes down, because I do hold Scientology responsible for the loss of some of the most important years of my life. And yes, I want to help anyone who is thinking of leaving, because they need our support.

But mostly I am here because my people are here. Whether I know you personally, or if you have long since forgotten me, I was just another little SO member, trying to get my stats up and find the meaning of life. We are all important, whatever happened to us and whatever we have done since Scientology.


Solo

sweetheart, the great american primitive painter known as grandma moses picked up her paintbrush at the age of seventy. to hell with CoS on the one hand but on the other the ideals attracted lively people and those of us here are lively yet. this place can and should perk you up
 
lol, I do like that people wander off then return to check things out again, doesn't happen nearly often enough.
Always nice to hear how people are doing, and its not the quantity but the quality :)

:carryon:

ya know og i'm happiest when people do pop back in but it's strictly no news is good news on those that don't they know we're here if they need us, many of them got a lot of BPC off their case and just went off and more power to 'em
 

solo

Patron with Honors
sweetheart, the great american primitive painter known as grandma moses picked up her paintbrush at the age of seventy. to hell with CoS on the one hand but on the other the ideals attracted lively people and those of us here are lively yet. this place can and should perk you up

It certainly does! Thanks!

Solo
 

Teanntás

Silver Meritorious Patron
I'm here for pretty much the reasons cited by posters so far. But I'm here for an additional reason. My original idea of Dianetics was that it was scientific, that the practice was based on what we could discover for ourselves, without any interfering dogma.

I'm still hoping that some of the great geniuses on this board (using also the research of those who have passed on) would put a system together that would benefit all of us and that it would proceed along a scientific line. In other words do the experiments (processes), organise the data , compare the results and confirm the effectiveness of potentially useful procedures by a qualified group of peers.
 
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Dulloldfart

Squirrel Extraordinaire
I'm still hoping that some of the great geniuses on this board (using also the research of those who have passed on) would put a system together that would benefit all of us and that it would proceed along a scientific line. In other words do the experiments (processes), organise the data , compare the results and confirm the effectiveness of potentially useful procedures by a qualified group of peers.

Why not split it up? You could have some genius(es) put the system together. And some others could do the formal testing and peer review. Since the whole point in science is to have experiments that can be replicated by anyone, long series of formal experiments with proper controls don't have to be done by the same person(s) who put the system together.

:whistling:

Paul
 

Teanntás

Silver Meritorious Patron
Why not split it up? You could have some genius(es) put the system together. And some others could do the formal testing and peer review. Since the whole point in science is to have experiments that can be replicated by anyone, long series of formal experiments with proper controls don't have to be done by the same person(s) who put the system together.

:whistling:

Paul

Great !
 

Reasonable

Silver Meritorious Patron
You know, I think my time in the SO came at what should have been the peak of my life's activity, from age 20 to 30, and that could be true of many of us, as we were recruited when we were most likely to be looking for answers to the meaning of life,

Solo

I think most people who are interesting try to find the meaning of life at some point. Of course there are people who never try this but they don't have much to say iMO.

So you spent your 10 years tying to find in in the SO. You could have been walking door to door getting people to read the bible.
Hopefully you did not sustain damage.

The one thing I learned from Scientology is that I don't really care if there is a meaning to life or not and that we are all meaning making machines.
You could have done it longer.
 

solo

Patron with Honors
I think most people who are interesting try to find the meaning of life at some point. Of course there are people who never try this but they don't have much to say iMO.

So you spent your 10 years tying to find in in the SO. You could have been walking door to door getting people to read the bible.
Hopefully you did not sustain damage.

The one thing I learned from Scientology is that I don't really care if there is a meaning to life or not and that we are all meaning making machines.
You could have done it longer.

Hi Reasonable,

yes, I agree that people who are looking for answers are generally more interesting.

Unfortunately, before I got involved in Scientology I had been in an evangelical Christian church AND a small hippie religious group with a domineering "charismatic" leader. After Scientology, I thought, why do I never learn?

So I said very loudly I AM NEVER JOINING ANOTHER GROUP. EVER.

But I am still hoping to find the meaning of life one day. All by myself.

I didn't quite understand what you meant in your last paragraph, perhaps you could elaborate?

Solo
 

auntpat

Patron with Honors
I left CO$ in 1973 before the s--t hit the fan saw the first beginning of SO running around in white suit and space boots. Did not inter-act! Just casually walked away one day after a really stupid com-ev.

A couple of years ago some broad called me from AOLA. That is over 30 years comm lag. It made me curious about what had happened in all those years so got on the good computer and found ESMB. WOW ! was I lucky to get out when I did. I read the horrible stories and was so sad for my fellow mates of old. I have never found anyone I knew except husband #2, who I have kept in touch with all these years.

I now have made friends with many on the board and feel their hangovers of the being IN and share their dislike for the CO$. I check just about every day hoping that I will read about the END OF CO$. I know it is coming but I want it NOW.

I will keep checking until it happens.

Love and Light,
Aunt Pat
 

TheRealNoUser

Patron with Honors
snip... I'm still hoping that some of the great geniuses on this board (using also the research of those who have passed on) would put a system together that would benefit all of us and that it would proceed along a scientific line. In other words do the experiments (processes), organise the data , compare the results and confirm the effectiveness of potentially useful procedures by a qualified group of peers.
It has already been done by me. I have all the data now. All that you need to do is send me an initial payment of $1,000,000, sign the subscription and confidentiality agreements, and I will start you on your path to total spiritual freedom.

This is a one-time-only offer that will expire for you in 12 hours from now, so you had better act fast. All those who have successfully completed this action before you have already left this universe, so unfortunately there are no peer reviews. You will just have to trust me, and realize that this is your one and only chance for total spiritual freedom provided by the Church of Religious Anthropoidal Philosophy.
 

Reasonable

Silver Meritorious Patron
Hi Reasonable,

yes, I agree that people who are looking for answers are generally more interesting.

Unfortunately, before I got involved in Scientology I had been in an evangelical Christian church AND a small hippie religious group with a domineering "charismatic" leader. After Scientology, I thought, why do I never learn?

So I said very loudly I AM NEVER JOINING ANOTHER GROUP. EVER.

But I am still hoping to find the meaning of life one day. All by myself.

I didn't quite understand what you meant in your last paragraph, perhaps you could elaborate?

Solo

In my last paragraph I said
"The one thing I learned from Scientology is that I don't really care if there is a meaning to life or not and that we are all meaning making machines.
You could have done it longer."

I meant that I too was looking for meaning (actually I was looking for immortality more so than meaning) and now after Scientology I don't care if there is meaning or not, I am not looking for meaning I am just enjoying myself.

I don't know if there is immortality or not but I am not going to waste any time looking for immortality or believing in immortality or wasting my time and money trying to attain immortality until it can be shown to me objectively.

When I said "We are meaning making machines" I meant that people attach meaning to everything. The idea that "Everything happens for a reason". Or if someone does something and you don't know why you then make up a reason or a meaning...People often think "What did he mean by that?"

I think we are genetically wired for a certain amount or logic. When we do something we see an effect therefore if something happens to us we think there must be a logical reason. So we make a meaning.

So when someone tells you "Hey I figured out the meaning of life" We think Great that makes sense someone should be able to figure it out. (because we all ready think there is a meaning). So it gets easy to get sucked into a religious or spiritual group.

When I said at least you weren't in it longer. I meant 10 years could have been 30 and still you got out at age 30 when you still can make something of your life. You could have been an alcoholic for 10 years, or a rotten marriage, or a terrible dead end job, or sick. At least being in the Sea Org you learned discipline and how to handle a lot of jobs and work and still carry on. It was like a 10 year boot camp.
 
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