Why Am I Here?

Teanntás

Silver Meritorious Patron
It has already been done by me. I have all the data now. All that you need to do is send me an initial payment of $1,000,000, sign the subscription and confidentiality agreements, and I will start you on your path to total spiritual freedom.

This is a one-time-only offer that will expire for you in 12 hours from now, so you had better act fast. All those who have successfully completed this action before you have already left this universe, so unfortunately there are no peer reviews. You will just have to trust me, and realize that this is your one and only chance for total spiritual freedom provided by the Church of Religious Anthropoidal Philosophy.

I accept your very generous offer, subject to a complete and thorough examination by my BS detection unit :biggrin:
 

Operating DB

Truman Show Dropout
I'm here for many of the reasons already stated in preceding posts.

The dozen or so local exes/friends in my area aren't as deep into the onion as I am. They vary from total non-interest in anything to do with scn to some that accept parts of the tech to some that practice offshoots of scn to jokers and degraders. But none of the locals accept my complete disdain of any and everything related to scn or Hubbard. So when we get together I am limited in what I can express.

So, it's nice to have a venue to share my extremist viewpoints as well as this venue being very entertaining!

I only wish it could be convenient for us to get together in person on a regular basis. That would be loads of fun!
 
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Man de la Mancha

Patron with Honors
At one time (if not currently), almost every one of us was searching for answers in life. Most of us were raised in some other belief system. We were honest enough to admit it didn’t work for us, but unwilling to abandon the quest. So we looked elsewhere, and each of us stumbled upon a book, a tape, a personality test, or a myriad other things, which eventually lead to a belief that someone had worked it all out scientifically, and we hoped with all our heart that it worked.

From there, each of our experiences is unique and seemingly fascinating, if not tragic. Ever since Al Gore invented the internet, I have lurked boards and blogs of many kind, but never before have I felt like I was amongst hundreds of potential friends. Whether you are “still in” or a “raging anti”, I feel like I share a certain reality with all of you that cannot possibly be had with those who have never been involved. And to top it all off, it’s given me a lifetime of laughs (honestly, some of you should be comedians or writers for late night TV).

And with regards to S.O. Members, current and former, think about it this way… For at least a moment in time, each and every one of you (us) willingly, voluntarily, and with much love agreed to devote one billion years of your existence to something you honestly and unselfishly believed was for the benefit of your fellow man. Wow. That’s either a group of complete psychos or, perhaps, the most awesome and sincerely altruistic folks ever assembled in one forum.

That’s why I’m here. That, and because 28 years ago this really hot chick gave me a personality test at the mall.
 

DagwoodGum

Squirreling Dervish
At one time (if not currently), almost every one of us was searching for answers in life. Most of us were raised in some other belief system. We were honest enough to admit it didn’t work for us, but unwilling to abandon the quest. So we looked elsewhere, and each of us stumbled upon a book, a tape, a personality test, or a myriad other things, which eventually lead to a belief that someone had worked it all out scientifically, and we hoped with all our heart that it worked.

From there, each of our experiences is unique and seemingly fascinating, if not tragic. Ever since Al Gore invented the internet, I have lurked boards and blogs of many kind, but never before have I felt like I was amongst hundreds of potential friends. Whether you are “still in” or a “raging anti”, I feel like I share a certain reality with all of you that cannot possibly be had with those who have never been involved. And to top it all off, it’s given me a lifetime of laughs (honestly, some of you should be comedians or writers for late night TV).

And with regards to S.O. Members, current and former, think about it this way… For at least a moment in time, each and every one of you (us) willingly, voluntarily, and with much love agreed to devote one billion years of your existence to something you honestly and unselfishly believed was for the benefit of your fellow man. Wow. That’s either a group of complete psychos or, perhaps, the most awesome and sincerely altruistic folks ever assembled in one forum.

That’s why I’m here. That, and because 28 years ago this really hot chick gave me a personality test at the mall.
That’s either a group of complete psychos or, perhaps, the most awesome and sincerely altruistic folks ever....
It's not a matter of either/or. You've just described the span of people IN Scn, so it stands to reason that it would be a correct description of those who've gotten OUT as well. Many Ex's are gradients of both from all the years of exposure to a madman and his multitude of madnesses.
 

Man de la Mancha

Patron with Honors
It's not a matter of either/or. You've just described the span of people IN Scn, so it stands to reason that it would be a correct description of those who've gotten OUT as well. Many Ex's are gradients of both from all the years of exposure to a madman and his multitude of madnesses.

I'm just saying I think it takes a special type of person to be so concerned about her fellow man, however misguided (or not) she may have been at the time, and whether or not she remains "in". That basic decency doesn't disappear from the person just because the person disappears from the org. Nor does it disappear just because she was trained to yell at people about red and black lines going this way and that.

And I agree, we are all individuals and, in or out, it is unlikely anyone lies at either extreme.

Now drop the attitude or I'll crush you with my Student Hat powers. Seriously, man... don't mess with me... I'll make you look up words & stuff.

Lol. You go get 'em Dagwood!
 

DagwoodGum

Squirreling Dervish
I'm just sayingl I think it takes a special type of person to be so concerned about her fellow man,lo however misguided (or not) she may have been at the time, and whether or not she remains "in". That basic decency doesn't disappear from the person just because the person disappears from the org. Nor does it disappear just because she was trained to yell at people about red and black lines going this way and that.

And I agree, we are all individuals and, in or out, it is unlikely anyone lies at either extreme.

Now drop the attitude or I'll crush you with my Student Hat powers. Seriously, man... don't mess with me... I'll make you look up words & stuff.

Lol. You go get 'em Dagwood!
Mess with you? Dang, gotta git me a dictionary. LOL :omg:
 

GoNuclear

Gold Meritorious Patron
This isn't an esoteric question about beingness, it's about ESMB. I come here and lurk sometimes and occasionally I post. I have been out of Scientology for 30 years, so I really should be free of all this. I'm a granny, I could be sitting in front of the fire with my cat asleep on the sofa and I could be knitting a blanket for the soon-to-be-born baby.

So why am I coming onto ESMB endlessly, reading and sometimes posting? Can it be that I am behaving obsessively, that I am unable to let go of the past?

You know, I think my time in the SO came at what should have been the peak of my life's activity, from age 20 to 30, and that could be true of many of us, as we were recruited when we were most likely to be looking for answers to the meaning of life, or disillusioned by society's failure to give us fulfilment.

Also, I recognise that one of the things the SO gave me was a massive group to belong to, and I have never got over the loss of that. I constantly look for news of people I knew back then. Even though I have many other friends from before and after Scientology, none of them share that overwhelming reality.

So. That's why I'm here, I'd like to be here if and when it all comes down, because I do hold Scientology responsible for the loss of some of the most important years of my life. And yes, I want to help anyone who is thinking of leaving, because they need our support.

But mostly I am here because my people are here. Whether I know you personally, or if you have long since forgotten me, I was just another little SO member, trying to get my stats up and find the meaning of life. We are all important, whatever happened to us and whatever we have done since Scientology.


Solo

Perhaps you are intrigued and/or hooked on getting all the "likes" for your posts and want to make another star ... kinda like going up "the bridge" or something or being in the first grade and having your teacher put one of those nice little stickers on your test paper because you got 90% or better. I know I was always a sucker for those little stickers, particularly in the third grade when I had a real thing for the teacher, who was a hottie in her mid 20's. Usually they were little stars but the nicest ones were around various holidays such as Haloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Valentine's day.

ESMB is addictive. Emma should post some sort of caution about that when new folks sign up.

Pete
 

Teanntás

Silver Meritorious Patron
At one time (if not currently), almost every one of us was searching for answers in life. Most of us were raised in some other belief system. We were honest enough to admit it didn’t work for us, but unwilling to abandon the quest. So we looked elsewhere, and each of us stumbled upon a book, a tape, a personality test, or a myriad other things, which eventually lead to a belief that someone had worked it all out scientifically, and we hoped with all our heart that it worked.

From there, each of our experiences is unique and seemingly fascinating, if not tragic. Ever since Al Gore invented the internet, I have lurked boards and blogs of many kind, but never before have I felt like I was amongst hundreds of potential friends. Whether you are “still in” or a “raging anti”, I feel like I share a certain reality with all of you that cannot possibly be had with those who have never been involved. And to top it all off, it’s given me a lifetime of laughs (honestly, some of you should be comedians or writers for late night TV).

And with regards to S.O. Members, current and former, think about it this way… For at least a moment in time, each and every one of you (us) willingly, voluntarily, and with much love agreed to devote one billion years of your existence to something you honestly and unselfishly believed was for the benefit of your fellow man. Wow. That’s either a group of complete psychos or, perhaps, the most awesome and sincerely altruistic folks ever assembled in one forum.

That’s why I’m here. That, and because 28 years ago this really hot chick gave me a personality test at the mall.

Reading your post, another factor occurred to me. I had already read a tremendous amount on psychology, philosophy and spirituality. What attracted me to dianetics was that they also had a practice.
 

solo

Patron with Honors
I'm here for many of the reasons already stated in preceding posts.

The dozen or so local exes/friends in my area aren't as deep into the onion as I am. They vary from total non-interest in anything to do with scn to some that accept parts of the tech to some that practice offshoots of scn to jokers and degraders. But none of the locals accept my complete disdain of any and everything related to scn or Hubbard. So when we get together I am limited in what I can express.

So, it's nice to have a venue to share my extremist viewpoints as well as as this venue being very entertaining!

I only wish it could be convenient for us to get together in person on a regular basis. That would be loads of fun!

Thanks Op DB,

Yes, isn't it interesting how many layers of disengagement there are? I have very good friends who still revere LRH and I feel I have to be careful not to cause offence!

Also, it's vital to me that the answers thrown up by the "tech" should above all be TRUE! But one particular friend maintains that as long as you "got something out of auditing" it doesn't matter whether it's true.

I throw up my hands!

But here, I can have that viewpoint and argue it (if I want) or not!

Oh yes, wouldn't it be fun to meet up IRL!

Solo
 

solo

Patron with Honors
Perhaps you are intrigued and/or hooked on getting all the "likes" for your posts and want to make another star ... kinda like going up "the bridge" or something or being in the first grade and having your teacher put one of those nice little stickers on your test paper because you got 90% or better. I know I was always a sucker for those little stickers, particularly in the third grade when I had a real thing for the teacher, who was a hottie in her mid 20's. Usually they were little stars but the nicest ones were around various holidays such as Haloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Valentine's day.

ESMB is addictive. Emma should post some sort of caution about that when new folks sign up.

Pete

For goodness sake, wanting stars? Moi?

Solo
 

solo

Patron with Honors
In my last paragraph I said
"The one thing I learned from Scientology is that I don't really care if there is a meaning to life or not and that we are all meaning making machines.
You could have done it longer."

I meant that I too was looking for meaning (actually I was looking for immortality more so than meaning) and now after Scientology I don't care if there is meaning or not, I am not looking for meaning I am just enjoying myself.

I don't know if there is immortality or not but I am not going to waste any time looking for immortality or believing in immortality or wasting my time and money trying to attain immortality until it can be shown to me objectively.

When I said "We are meaning making machines" I meant that people attach meaning to everything.

When I said at least you weren't in it longer. I meant 10 years could have been 30 and still you got out at age 30 when you still can make something of your life. You could have been an alcoholic for 10 years, or a rotten marriage, or a terrible dead end job, or sick. At least being in the Sea Org you learned discipline and how to handle a lot of jobs and work and still carry on. It was like a 10 year boot camp.

Hi Reasonable,

thanks for explaining what you meant about "meaning making machines" I got lost in the words there, but I get it now. Yes, I suppose we do look to explain everything in life with some kind of "everything that happens is caused by something". Mmm, maybe it is, maybe it isn't!

I got stuck on your last paragraph above, as I felt you made some assumptions about my life that were way off the mark. In that 10 years in Scientology, I turned down a really good job to join the SO, because I thought Saint Hill would be a brilliant place to bring up my little boy - wrong! He has had extensive therapy on his time in the SO and has never really got over it. I could have been progressing in my career in a major London company, but I gave it up. My son could have had a normal upbringing. I had two failed marriages in that 10 years, and your description of the SO as a boot camp which would prepare me in some way for success is WAY off the mark! I came out of there completely unemployable!

So thanks for looking on the bright side, but I don't quite see it that way.

Solo
 

ClearEyed

Patron with Honors
...
So why am I coming onto ESMB endlessly, reading and sometimes posting? Can it be that I am behaving obsessively, that I am unable to let go of the past? ...

Solo

Well said, Solo. I can relate to all of it. As for me, I'm here because of the onion. You know, many layers...peel, peel, and peel some more. Onions within onions.
 

Sharone Stainforth

Silver Meritorious Patron
I am here because of the children, both past and present. Those whom cannot speak for themselves, those whom are locked in Hubbard's mind warping organization, those whom are locked in Hubbard's mind warping philosophy, especially those whom never had either a choice or a chance.
 
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