Will The Real Ex's Please Stand Up!?

[Recovery]

When I first posted my story here (My Journey To OT3 & Back ) I had just joined the board and quite naively assumed that an Ex-Scio board would be frequented by...well... Ex-Scio's...

To my dismay, I was quite blown away by how many "Ex's" still buy into the whole LRH malarkey.

Recovery is a delicate process that needs a safe environment.

For me, it was a truly agonising ordeal to admit that I was deeply brainwashed and I can see why it would be easier to cling to a deeply embedded lie.

I'm grateful to have done my own research, followed my own inner guidance and to have truly gotten my life back before encountering some of these discussions.

I don't speak Scio lingo anymore and have found explanations for most of the phenomena that I encountered in Scientology during the 14 years I was in this cult. In the last 2 years I've read 100 -150 books on psychology, spirituality and mental science. ( 'mental science' is a term that was around a lot longer than your average LRH subscriber would be aware of)

I truly have my life back now. I live my dreams and I follow my bliss.
Speaking of bliss, the day I took ALL of my Scio books and stuff to the local tip was particularly blissful.

It took a while to be able let go of all that crap. But the more books I read and found where LRH had plagiarised his 'tech' the easier it became.

At first I was deeply angered and then deeply grateful for the true gift of self that I got - just like Dorothy and her friends - at the end of the Yellow Brick Road, otherwise known as 'The Bridge'.

LRH in my opinion - an educated opinion at this stage - was a deeply disturbed man. A grandiose showman and liar, who went as far as deceiving himself with his own fairytales.

I paid my dues and I've earned my right to speak. Originally when I departed the church I tried to do so in a quiet and respectful manner, not wanting to insult anyone's belief system. Even so, I quickly discovered who my true friends are and a lot more who weren't. I sought out a safe place to voice my story and I set up a MySpace page (Recovery From Scientology). It contained no copyrighted Scientology data, only my own experience with Scientology and the true betrayal that it is. Recently is was deleted for reasons yet to be revealed. I had many 'anonymous' conversations with people who wanted level-headed assistance and it helped my recovery to aid others.

So my fellow travelers. If you've just left or considering leaving Scientology. Before you even consider finding a way to make sense of LRH 'tech' and the fact that sometimes it appears to work. Do the research. Read all the forbidden books. Trust your own inner guidance in choosing what to read.

My path led me to discover that:
LRH PR 'tech' is exactly the same as Dale Carnegies 'How to win friends'. LRH reckons he'll "make you sick".

That Ernest Holmes (to me) was LRH's main reference point for an organised religion (among others like Madame Blavatsky's Theosophy) that offered self improvement courses (cheap ones!) : http://ernestholmes.wwwhubs.com/
Look at a picture of Ernest and tell me you don't think he influenced LRH.

William Walker Atkinson (aka Theron Q.Dumont) was another. Used to teach procedures for focusing the mind. Like TR's. http://williamwalkeratkinson.wwwhubs.com

Thomas Troward was the main originator of contemporary metaphysics and influenced all these guys. http://thomastroward.wwwhubs.com Troward discussed the idea of an electronic thought detector 100 years ago.

Ralph Waldo Emerson was the American equivalent of Thomas Troward and a big influence on 'American Success Literature'. His prose is a bit harder to interpret given the time it was written. Brilliant man all the same.

In Hubbard's time there was a huge amount of these 'New Thought' writers who would give seminars and talks over a day or two in community halls etc. They were entertaining and brilliant men and women. My favorite is Neville Goddard http://nevillegoddard.wwwhubs.com/

Route To Infinity is a complete re-write (in the usual impenetrable LRH prose) of these teachings. ie. To create the life you want you must visualise/imagine it to be so already and forces come into play to bring the vision to actuality.

The Law Of Psychic phenomena by Thomson Jay Hudson (1893) seems to be the contemporary start point for all ideas about Subconscious/Conscious mind analogies. He called it Subjective/Objective mind. He was prior to Freud as far as I can work out. Bit of a tome but fascinating. Reading this book furthered my understanding of what exactly has happened to the mind of a Scio on the OT levels and how the run up the bridge programs the subconscious for a smorgasbord of silliness.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thomson_Jay_Hudson

If you read Thomson Jay Hudson, you may just come to the very scary and liberating realisation that even LRH's 'Reactive' and 'Analytical' mind premise is completely wrong and that a very big house has been built on sand.

Don't believe me though. Find out for yourself. Deconstuct the lie and rebuild your big beautiful new life.

So... Will The Real Ex's Please Stand Up?



--------------------------------------------------
Some books that helped me to understand:

'Key to Yourself' by Venice J. Bloodworth (1952)
'As a Man Thinketh' by James Allen (1912)
'The Power of Your Subconscious Mind' by Joseph Murphy (1963)
'The Magic of Believing' by Claude M. Bristol (1948)
'Self Mastery Through Conscious' Autosuggestion by Emile Coue (1922)
'The Law of Psychic Phenomena' by Thomson Jay Hudson (1893)
'Prometheus Rising' by Robert Anton Wilson (1983)

 

[Dulloldfart]

Some exes make use of some bits they find useful and have discarded bits they don't, with some bits as yet uninspected.

Paul

 

[Bea Kiddo]

I am an Ex-Scientologist. And I am standing up.

 

[Alanzo]

I'm an ex-Scientologist, and I'm standing on the top of a small step ladder.

 

[Tanstaafl]

I'm an ex-Scientologist and I'm standing on Alanzo's shoulders. Please don't rock the step ladders.

 

[Div6]

I'm standing.


First off, thanks for the in-depth post. It will take me a while to wade through all of the references, but that is OK. It actually dovetails nicely with a book I am reading called The Secret Source that covers quite a bit of the "Conciousness Movement" that sprung up in the US after the Civil War and into the 1900's.
Phineas Quimby, Mary Baker Eddy et al....it is a fascinating story. And I agree that once one expands their context, it throws into stark relief the "good" and the "bad" of Hubbards movement.

This book goes further and traces these influences back to Hermetic origins, but that is a different story.


And welcome to ESMB!

 

[lionheart]

Excellent post "Recovery".

Brilliant references!

I too have found that all the "good" in Scn exists outside of it and a whole lot more besides.

I don't regret my involvement in Scn as it opened me up to the even more wonderful, more mystical world that exists outside of Hubbard's limited ego box.

The one thing I would grant Hubbard is that his cult provided a focus for exploration and experimentation

The down-side is how difficult his cult is to break free of, even after you have physically left it!

Please don't let your MySpace deletion or any resistence encountered on ESMB deter you from your recovery project. ESMB provides a useful forum, but it is not the only solution.

PM me if you want to forward your project to help others recover. You can always set up your own recovery website, you don't need permission of MySpace or anyone else.

I am an ex-scn and am standing up and ready to help you in any way you want to help others recover. I can help with website creation or just give encouragement.

PS, you also need to bear in mind as regards ESMB that on your OTIII posts, you were the subject of an op or handling by "Alex" who is a Scientologist. Whether he was OSA or not, he was very good at muddying the waters and may have given you a false impression of ESMB. He has left, at least for the time being. I believe that is because I loved him to death!

 

[riptide]

Rodger that.

 

[Little Bear Victor]

I am Ex with a capital E.

I find no value in LRH "tech." I don't necessarily reject a datum just because it was also said by LRH; he said many true things that others had discovered, falsifying himself as the "source" of the information.

My interest in matters spiritual both preceded and survived the Scientology experience. Real wisdom existed eons before Scientology and will far outlive it.

 

[Mick Wenlock]

Hi recovery,

I pretty much align with Bea and LBV.

I also moderate the XSO mailing list and, like here, there are exes who do still think that Scientology has some value.

One thing that I have gained since leaving Scientology is a thorough debunking of the idea that I have all the answers. While I don't agree with Scientology and think that it is a dangerous waste of time and space I would defend, to the bitter end, the right of anyone to freely practice it. the emphasis is on the word "freely".

I most strongly believe that anyone who has gone through the crap and angst and pain that most of us went through in that organization have earned the right to whatever opinion we hold of the subject. If that means someone is in favor of it - I will live that that and I will respect them for their opinion.

The minute I walked out the door it stopped being black and white.

 

[beyond_horizons]

My path led me to discover that:
LRH PR 'tech' is exactly the same as Dale Carnegies 'How to win friends'. LRH reckons he'll "make you sick".

That Ernest Holmes (to me) was LRH's main reference point for an organised religion (among others like Madame Blavatsky's Theosophy) that offered self improvement courses (cheap ones!) : http://ernestholmes.wwwhubs.com/
Look at a picture of Ernest and tell me you don't think he influenced LRH.

.
Yup, all you have to do is look at the glossary in the 'Science of Mind Concordance'. I just 'love' the Sunday services held there. They have some great courses … and affordable.

Interestingly enough, it focuses on the positive.

 

[Kathy (ImOut)]

Recovery,

Thank you for your post. I'm getting there. A lot of my recovery of late has to do with this board. The posts about LRH in the earlier years are really bringing a lot of buried memories to the surface.

I think for me, it was first the betrayal of the organization called Scientology. Of late, it's the betrayal of LRH, himself, that I am seeing/recalling/realizing. It's been a hard journey and I still have a ways to go. But I'm starting to see the end of the road.

I can feel the realizations, as if they were on the tip of my tongue. I just haven't found the words to totally and completely communicate the little thoughts running around my head, to form the huge thought that will totally and completely dislodge the brainwashing or whatever it is called.

So thank you for your post. These are the posts that really get my thoughts flowing and the realizations happening.

 

[Zinjifar]

.
Yup, all you have to do is look at the glossary in the 'Science of Mind Concordance'. I just 'love' the Sunday services held there. They have some great courses … and affordable.

Interestingly enough, it focuses on the positive.

'Religious Science' tends to be less 'cultlike' than Scn, if only because it's less organized and 'politically' driven. No 'Clear Planet' From my point of view it's a comfy yuppie proto-'new age' system which has served as the 'basis' for dozens or hundreds of others. Including Scn.

What most strikingly seems the core concept stolen by Ron would be the idea of 'you pulled it in' and 'you are responsible for your condition'.

While this sounds superficially attractive as a rejection of 'victimology' is, in practice, used as an arrogant rejection of responsibility for others. Why 'care' if the object of the 'care' actually *caused* his own problems? Why feel guilt for your transgressions when the 'victim' actually *caused* you to transgress against him? He 'pulled it in'. Or, as the Religious Scientist would explain, he *wanted* what happened to him.

It's simple and simple-minded; smug and a wonderful rationalization for complete ego-centricism.

Not to mention deliberately ignoring the 'shit happens' causation when an asteroid falls on somebody's head.

Per RS or Scn, the person *wanted* it to happen

Zinj

 

[Lulu Belle]

I'm an ex, and I'm sitting down. (I'm a lazy ex.)

 

[ChaoticPsychotic]

Honest to God I am an EX! Though it took awhile...

Dear Recovery,

You are wise.

For me the process of getting out of the mess of Scientology went something like this:

Suspecting that something was rotten in Int Management.

Suspecting that that the entire Sea Org was rotten.

Thinking that the lower level orgs and missions were okay.

Suspecting that some of LRH's tech was hooey.

Definitely knowing that ALL of LRH's tech was hooey.

Disccvering that the whole damn thing was a CULT!

Researching and learning that LRH was a total asshole megalomaniac plagarising bastard.

Knowing that I was far too fucked up over the whole mess to get through it on my own.

Seeking out a top notch Psychologist to help me sort through it all.

Feeling oh so much better to be completely out of it all!

I am still shedding all of the crap that I indoctrinated into believing since birth. It has been a 10 year process for me since leaving the Sea Org.

I am a true EX now! I don't even go to the occasional event just to appease my family anymore. I don't own a single piece of Hubbard's tech anymore. It felt awesome to pitch out lecture sets into the trash.

 

[Recovery]

Thanks...

..for standing up...
Even if you're sitting down.

I knew you were out there
Now I know who you are.

 

[Zinjifar]

I'd say 'Ex' is a process; not a destination. I doubt there are any 'exes' who don't sometimes (or frequently) find the little chunks of Hubbthink hiding under the refrigerator

Zinj

 

[A.K. Myers]

I am an ex as well.

Having been totally indoctrinated (hey, I even bought into the Xenu crap when I did my Oatee levels), it took me years to get over the mindfuck.

When I first left in the early 80's, I believed that it was just top management that had gone off the rails and I joined a splinter group (AAC) where I worked as an auditor, delivering "standard tech". At the time we believed that it was all "the sea org's fault" that $ci was so squirreled up. We believed that we were keeping the tech pure.

During this time info started coming out, like the Zegal tapes. Real stories of not only how messed up the sea org really was, but stories of how our guru LRH was actually part of the problem. Stories of his pettiness and later stories of his outright dishonesty began to surface. The final capper for me was to read the list of claims made about LRH's amazing life followed by of each one of them debunked by factual sources (school records, military records, etc.).

When the internet came of age and the truth of this shabby, self serving, con man began to surface, I was pretty much done with the whole idea of "the tech" as anything but a self-delusional entity.

It takes many years to get over a mindset. I went from being "one of the most valuable beings on the planet" to realizing that ten years of $cientology on my resume earned me a chance to say, "Do you want fries with that?" I went from "I am saving the planet", to "Geez! what a waste of time."

It took years to rebuild my life. All of the "friends" I had back in "the church" are still not allowed to speak with me. I still occasionally try to contact themI pray they someday see the truth. I am greatful that I did.

 

[Voltaire's Child]

Well, I'm ex CofS at any rate.

One of the things I learned -as you did- was that I don't have to do or believe anything just because CofS says I should or Hubbard said I should.

So the idea is that I don't have to believe or stop believing in something just because someone thinks I should or shouldn't.

I don't take my cues from LRH or from DM. And I don't take them from anyone else, either, who happens to state or imply what I should or shouldn't believe.

I'm proud to be an ex CofS member. I'm proud to see the pickets, the posts, the articles. I'd like to see the lid blown off so that there is an international scandal as to what really goes on in the cult, particularly the SO. So I'm standing! That's really all any other ex needs to worry about.

 

[Voltaire's Child]

When I first posted my story here (My Journey To OT3 & Back ) I had just joined the board and quite naively assumed that an Ex-Scio board would be frequented by...well... Ex-Scio's...

To my dismay, I was quite blown away by how many "Ex's" still buy into the whole LRH malarkey.

Why be dismayed? We all have our own road. In CofS, they tell people what to think, say and do. We left that behind.