I've seen this mentioned here and there, but I've been thinking about it recently and felt it deserved its own thread.
I usually ended up attending events with my parents and/or other staff members at the Shrine Auditorium in LA. I went usually because it was fun to dress up and run all over the less well known passage ways in the Shrine (trying to avoid the SO members who would round us kids up and herd us back into our seats), and I enjoyed the food afterwards (I was too young to get regged for much), but as for the actual event part, I despised it.
Well, not exactly. When I was young and a big gung-ho Scientologist, I remember letting the mood of the event wash over me, like the two-minute hate from Orwell's 1984. I'd stand up and cheer with everyone else, wild-eyed with joy over events that sounded grand, but which I didn't really comprehend. I was there when the tax exemption was announced, and I was just as awestruck as anyone. After all, the cheering went on for a solid 10 minutes, and the huge surround-sound speakers were blaring, while words flashed on massive screens: "NOTHING'S GONNA STOP US NOW!"
Some of my first critical thoughts came into my head at Scientology events. I'd think: If we're really doing that much, why hasn't anyone I know outside of CoS heard of Scientology? Shouldn't we have taken over the world by now?
As I got older and grew into my teens, I started hating events. I didn't want to stand up and clap every 5 minutes. The hip-hip hooraying was a bit obnoxious, and the sonar bombardment was overwhelming. After the first two hours, I was so tired of standing I'd just stay seated, but that drew nasty looks from people around me, so I'd get to my feet with everyone else.
Alternately, my friends and I would have "who could hit the highest note" cheering contests during every clapping session. Drove the people sitting around us perfectly nuts, I'm sure, a bunch of teenage girls squealing high-pitched blasts. But what could they say? We were "enthusiastic".
The last few times I ever attended an event, I sat way up in back so I wouldn't have to get up.
But I always wondered what people around me were thinking. Most everyone had a rapturous look on their face, and events always made me feel very alone, almost defiant, because I'd look out across the sea of people and wonder if anyone else was sick of giving standing ovations, too.
So... were you?
I know it's a small defiance, almost not worth mentioning, but the leaving process for me started with many similarly tiny defiances.
I usually ended up attending events with my parents and/or other staff members at the Shrine Auditorium in LA. I went usually because it was fun to dress up and run all over the less well known passage ways in the Shrine (trying to avoid the SO members who would round us kids up and herd us back into our seats), and I enjoyed the food afterwards (I was too young to get regged for much), but as for the actual event part, I despised it.
Well, not exactly. When I was young and a big gung-ho Scientologist, I remember letting the mood of the event wash over me, like the two-minute hate from Orwell's 1984. I'd stand up and cheer with everyone else, wild-eyed with joy over events that sounded grand, but which I didn't really comprehend. I was there when the tax exemption was announced, and I was just as awestruck as anyone. After all, the cheering went on for a solid 10 minutes, and the huge surround-sound speakers were blaring, while words flashed on massive screens: "NOTHING'S GONNA STOP US NOW!"
Some of my first critical thoughts came into my head at Scientology events. I'd think: If we're really doing that much, why hasn't anyone I know outside of CoS heard of Scientology? Shouldn't we have taken over the world by now?
As I got older and grew into my teens, I started hating events. I didn't want to stand up and clap every 5 minutes. The hip-hip hooraying was a bit obnoxious, and the sonar bombardment was overwhelming. After the first two hours, I was so tired of standing I'd just stay seated, but that drew nasty looks from people around me, so I'd get to my feet with everyone else.
Alternately, my friends and I would have "who could hit the highest note" cheering contests during every clapping session. Drove the people sitting around us perfectly nuts, I'm sure, a bunch of teenage girls squealing high-pitched blasts. But what could they say? We were "enthusiastic".
The last few times I ever attended an event, I sat way up in back so I wouldn't have to get up.
But I always wondered what people around me were thinking. Most everyone had a rapturous look on their face, and events always made me feel very alone, almost defiant, because I'd look out across the sea of people and wonder if anyone else was sick of giving standing ovations, too.
So... were you?
I know it's a small defiance, almost not worth mentioning, but the leaving process for me started with many similarly tiny defiances.