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Scientology, I cannot get over it. (VERY Powerfful essay. Highly recommended)
Bare Faced Messiah: Scientology, I cannot get over it
https://barefacedmessiah.wordpress.com/2014/07/08/scientology-i-cannot-get-over-it/
One may wish to comment at the original article.
Excerpts:
Bare Faced Messiah: Scientology, I cannot get over it
https://barefacedmessiah.wordpress.com/2014/07/08/scientology-i-cannot-get-over-it/
One may wish to comment at the original article.
Excerpts:
ARE YOU CLOSE TO A SCIENTOLOGIST? RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN!
Several year after leaving Scientology, I am still suffering from its effects. The most important part of my life was and is to give my children the best childhood. But now I am in a situation that cannot be fixed anymore. The damage is done. Day after day painful thoughts come back and capture my attention. It hurts to have seen all this.
My wife was willing to destroy everything and everyone. She even included herself.
What for?
To be on courses, to do Scientology, to gain powers that do not exist.
How to have a successful family? Why do a course for something that is right in front of you? Now, there is nothing left and she would really need such course.
She destroyed her and other lives thoroughly. In her view everybody was suppressive. Her parents, my parents, her relatives, my relatives, the government, the psychs, her BFF … just her cousin that she hated, she suddenly became her best friend.
After the divorce she quickly ran out of time and money. That means she cannot even do Scientology anymore – but the WAR was all about Scientology, wasn’t it?
Looking at the present situation would make her past actions terribly wrong. Still, she considers herself being a dedicated Scientologist. She is grasping at straws like many other Scientologists.
Forgiving her is tough. The destruction has been awful. My ex-wife is far away from awakening. With her “Fair Game” activities she crossed the threshold to hell.
This question is driving me nuts. I want to fix the family as much as I can. At the same time I know that I would have to accept further punches below the belt to do so. Is that greatness or that pure stupidity?
I have to fight against the devil, at the same time I cannot fight against the devil as I would destroy the ones I love most – my children. I finally understand Friedrich Schiller inside out. The hero has to suffer. His duties are more important. He decides against his desires.
But what are my duties? This question remains open. How can I fight the evil and not destroy myself at the same time?
I am the one who never needed any help or advice. I have always been ahead of others. My past success stories were outstanding. Then I came across my wife, who would not dare to “inform herself honestly” and rather destroy the family.
This time I have no clue. This was not part of any calculation. This was not forseeable. This was pure insanity. Treason! I was stabbed into my back.
Now, I do need help to go through all this. But I cannot imagine anyone being able to rewind the time. And even if anybody could rewind the time … I guess I would do a lot pretty much the same way again. Hence, it seems to be my fortune.
Schiller, I finally understand
No kidding, people here need to read this. It was painful to read. I can't imagine being in his shoes. Once he makes the break from the wife, wanting it all back, his family, I think he will be on his way to mending his heart and soul. If he is reading here, imagine it, cutting that tie to her. Envision it, until it is real. It can be done. 
Sometimes, to keep the kids, one has to keep mouth shut, bite the bullet, but one can still cut the ties, move on, in your head, heart and soul. Maintain the 'surface' - for the sake of the kids. And find a therapist, so you can talk about it, privately, blow off the deep emotional distress. I haven't been through this, but I have had a broken heart, more than once - and believe me, we live through it, and move on, like it or not. And life gets good again. We get wiser, stronger. 
