What Helped You Regain You From Scientology

[Ho Tai]

1. Making some new friends (and recovering some old friendships) that were all very different from one another. Friendships that extended beyond "What course are you on?"

2. Finding things to do that actually helped people in a way that was meaningful to me. Not "sell this guy a book and save his immortal soul", but more like Meals on Wheels, take some food to a person who can't get out to buy food for themselves and don't have a family member to do it for them, and talk to him/her a bit.

3. Following my own inclinations, not those programmed for me on the "Bridge to Total Freedom".

Basically, I can say that getting out of $cn gave me a much greater appreciation of life than I would have had if I had never set foot in an org. I had a lot of "shoulds" in my life before $cn, I picked up a lot more in $cn, and now that I'm out I have fewer than ever.

 

[Panda Termint]

Question (and this is not intended to be glib) - what does it mean that some of you learned that Scientology was an "implant"? Is that synonymous with saying that you learned it was a con?

I mean it in the sense that Hubbard meant it ie.

"A painful and forceful means of overwhelming a being with artificial purpose or false concepts in a malicious attempt to control and suppress him." (Aud 71 ASHO)

"An unwilling and unknowing receipt of a thought. An intentional installation of fixed ideas, contra-survival to the thetan" (SH Spec 83, 6612C06)

Other definitions may apply, the word "implant" has a very specific meaning in scientology!

 

[Ho Tai]

I had a lot of "shoulds" in my life before $cn, I picked up a lot more in $cn, and now that I'm out I have fewer than ever.

Hey, I guess I just had a cog that $cn worked for me! I'm off to start EESMB! PM me if I can be your FSM!

 

[ChurchOfCylontology]

I mean it in the sense that Hubbard meant it ie.

"A painful and forceful means of overwhelming a being with artificial purpose or false concepts in a malicious attempt to control and suppress him." (Aud 71 ASHO)

"An unwilling and unknowing receipt of a thought. An intentional installation of fixed ideas, contra-survival to the thetan" (SH Spec 83, 6612C06)

Other definitions may apply, the word 'implant" has a very specific meaning in scientology!

Thanks, Panda. Sometimes I need a translator for some phrases and Scieno-speak on this board.

I do like this thread, and it may be helpful for many lurkers. It is interesting to me to read how/what helped folks clear up the fog. A lot of it fits into what I've read/heard from Steve Hassan regarding leaving controlling groups.

 

[Idle Morgue]

What helped me the most was researching the net to find out how Hubbard created this mind fuck! I read everything I could get my hands on - every book written on the cult by our beloved SP's - every blog and message board - everything until I understood how he did it.

The pain was unimaginable in the beginning. I had lost so much - but now I am building my life and it is better and better each day!

I also went back to my spiritual teaching that I was in before the cult and that made so much more sense to me now that I confronted EVIL head on! That really helped me as well.

Lots of long walks, fresh air and taking it slow in the beginning. Thank you EXSMB - you allowed me to vent and poke fun at the Turd and his con game called Scientology.

Another thing that helped - is using Scientology on Scientologists and getting them OUT! That is really quite fun! At least I can use that "training" for something!! What is really fascinating is that Hubbard give one all the clues inside his clever TECH - most Scientologists never suspect scientology to be the ES PEE~ but that is the culprit alright!! Total certainty on that fact!

 

[Free Being Me]

Thank you all for the replies so far, they are all wonderful!

 

[Techless]

What helped me most, was seeing and experiencing the things that occurred, when trusted Scn friends- in very desperate times for myself - went into lala land, and couldn't explain themselves well enough to convince me that they were not under the mind control of someone else. Logic had gone out the window. And for whatever reasons that my creator endowed me with -worked. I still love that person. (maybe me all along?!?)

I never was 'in' enough to have since had to shake it off so bad - and I still freak when I see so many others now who were so bamboozled by it all. Perhaps I would've been too, had I not taken some trend chemical amusement aids, at random periods throughout...just to try and get some perspective. Hate to admit: but it did work.

I don't suggest it, but there it is.

Plus: I'm a musician!

rhythm has to make some sense - it didn't with Scn, on staff or otherwise.

TL

 

[Free Being Me]

A moment of music, it helped me to decult

Moody Blues - Question
[video=youtube;tmOZFAYeurY]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tmOZFAYeurY[/video]

 

[sallydannce]

There is a long list of things which have assisted me to regain myself, post-scientology.

I was living in China when I (mentally) left the cult. This brought with it many fascinating and challenging aspects. There is a thread where I ramble on about this:

http://www.forum.exscn.net/showthread.php?26180-Sallydannce-s-Story

I began a huge journey of “unlearning” much of my, then, forty-odd years. I questioned everything and everyone and myself. Heavily.

I have about 100 books sitting on a shelf near me. A short limited list includes:

Steven Hassan; Margaret Singer; Eckhart Tolle; Daniel Goleman; Susan Forward; Eric Hoffer; Joseph J. Luciani; Philp G. Zimbardo; Dr. Robin Stern; Robert D. Hare; Jack Kornfield; Brene Brown; Leo F. Buscaglia; Arjuna Ardagh; Janja Lalich and Madeleine Tobias. My library loan-record shows several hundred other books I have loaned the past few years. I have spent hundreds of hours on the internet reading on a broad range of subjects.

I have not just restricted myself to issues about scientology. I have studied a lot about abuse in various forms. I attended a Women’s Refuge course which helped me understand many things about scientology. I have also read a lot about mind control experiments. I have studied, briefly, various psychological concepts such as "attachment theory" and self-actualisation.

At times I have just sat and simply watched the world and tested myself in it.

I have used nature to help me sort things - gardening is great! I have indulged in music - often using it to bring out emotions which I found hard to get in tune with. For a short time, I painted. It was wonderful! I'd never painted a thing in my life but privately I just threw paint onto paper and let go of some of the pent-up creative energy that I'd been carting around.

My personal motto is “dig, dig, dig”. And I do. Digging out the installed crap – the automaticities - unlearning it and replacing it with more mindful conscious living.

The active practise of forgiveness has been a very healing part of my work. I started doing forgiveness mediations about October last year and that has brought me deep peace and a fresh clarity.

I have maintained, sporadically, a gratitude journal. A very simple but powerful practise.

I have used Emotional Freedom Technique (tapping). Good stuff!

I have kept a therapeutic journal much of the time. Journalling has been my best friend. I can say anything, truly let it rip and play with concepts and feelings in any damn way I please. I refused to “hold it all together” like some stiff-upper-lipped Victorian because I knew that if I didn’t let the deep emotions out - which are a factor of any betrayal (and scientology is a huge spiritual betrayal) – I would pop like a pressure-cooker at some later time in my life.

I have worked with two highly skilled psychotherapists. I continue to see a therapist every few weeks because I still have some things I'm working on. It is really helpful having a professional in the background, offering a safe place to vent and reframe things.

I've taken the "cult recovery gig" very seriously because I really wanted to start a brand new life. And I have!

 

[Take a Look]

What has helped you leave scientology behind? What helped you spiritually, mentally, emotionally, find yourself once again and live life without hubbard's scientology? Was it the support of family and friends? Therapy and counseling? The internet? ESMB or another message board? Cult recovery books? Time alone? Ex's speaking out, sharing their stories? Your own inner qualities? What inspired you to live outside the cult think eventually? Call this thread a place of inspiration for those still caught within the cult mindset, what guidance would you give to them that's worked for you? Thank you in advance for anyone wishing to share your experiences, please post links to threads, sites, books, music, pictures, all are welcome!

Speaking for myself, it's arriving here at ESMB as well as counseling that started me off. That counseling wasn't cult recovery related directly but it did give insights. Personal experiences of the people here gave me so much to think about. Definitely reading threads here helped, I was voracious for anything I could find about that pointed out the flaws of hubbard and scientology. Not because I wished to be critical but because one doesn't hear of this while in the cult. Amazing! The internet helped as well, I could research my own ideas and concepts, as well as those of others offered. A huge variety of the new came at me. Psychology and psychiatry, philosophers, ex's stories, self help and personal growth authors, music, yes music!, Buddhist principles, morality, a lot of tough inner self questions, and so much more. I wanted it all ...lol. Eventually I was introduced to Leo Buscaglia, Jack Kornfield, Don Miguel Ruiz, Brene Brown (a huge thank you to Sallydannce for guiding me to them) after my cult recovery (I wish I had read them during...lol) and the list keeps growing. Thank you!

For reference, I detail my experience on the "What Is Idenics" thread of finally deciding to leave the corporate church after 20 + years, then working on how to continue to do Scientology in the Free Zone, or Independent Field, only to then discover Idenics, which blew me away and resolved all the confusion or upset I carried with me regarding Scientology. If interested, start here on page 197 with post # 1966 at this thread: http://www.forum.exscn.net/showthread.php?324-What-is-Idenics/page197

Before that, like others have mentioned, I began to read anything and everything on-line that I could find about LRH, and DMSMH & Scientology. I read everything good and bad I could find. Basically I was false data stripping myself of everything with which I had been indoctrinated.

But I'd have to say the number one thing that helped me initially, and even to this day, was having a friend, two actually, who had each left the Church on their own before me, and knew what I was going through so could help during the transition. Now we've more or less turned into Joker & Degrader experts. We laugh quite a bit about our experiences and also how we managed to get sucked into a cult. But we've all recovered quite well and are succeeding in life, so we're able to laugh about it all now. If someone's still going through the whole awakening process, I'm sure it's anything but enjoyable. That's where Idenics helped me immensely.

So, to sum up, I'd say friendship, reading, and what it really comes down to is maybe re-establishing your own purpose, dreams or goals. I still had the desire for increased spiritual awareness and was able to find something else to continue on my personal journey. I quickly discovered that the "Bridge to Total Freedom" was just a dead-end pitstop (albeit a long one) on my life's journey.

 

[uniquemand]

It's always good to hear from you, Mike. You are typically a breath of fresh air.

 

[Idle Morgue]

1. Making some new friends (and recovering some old friendships) that were all very different from one another. Friendships that extended beyond "What course are you on?"

2. Finding things to do that actually helped people in a way that was meaningful to me. Not "sell this guy a book and save his immortal soul", but more like Meals on Wheels, take some food to a person who can't get out to buy food for themselves and don't have a family member to do it for them, and talk to him/her a bit.

3. Following my own inclinations, not those programmed for me on the "Bridge to Total Freedom".

Basically, I can say that getting out of $cn gave me a much greater appreciation of life than I would have had if I had never set foot in an org. Funny how "concentration camps do that for people" I had a lot of "shoulds" in my life before $cn, I picked up a lot more in $cn, and now that I'm out I have fewer than ever.

Good for you - it feels good to not have some 15 year old senior spitting in your face demanding that you "glow things right for the cult"!

 

[Take a Look]

It's always good to hear from you, Mike. You are typically a breath of fresh air.

Sorry to jump in here, but was that addressed to me?

 

[uniquemand]

Sorry to jump in here, but was that addressed to me?

Yes.

 

[Take a Look]

Yes.

I'm not Mike Goldstein. I'm just somebody relatively new to Idenics who did some processing and is currently doing the training to become a practitioner. Hope that helps!

 

[This is NOT OK !!!!]

1. I drank a "large bottle of Scotch", as recommended by a bishop in the Episcopal church.

2. I slowly (and painfully) extracted myself from business relationships with Scientologists.

3. Joined ESMB and clicked through a lot of links in the posts.

4. Spent a lot of time on my back porch thinking about what I can do now that I've retired from "Salvaging this sector of the universe".

5.

6. Learned about Grace.

 

[A.K. Myers]

Even though I had left the cult in the mid eighties and moved
on with my life, I still considered myself a $cientologist. I still
venerated Ron as the one being who had risen above the bank
enough to construct a technology that would free mankind. I
blamed the fact that it didn't work as an organization on the
"out arc" of the militaristic Sea Org and insanity at the top of
the org board.

In the mid nineties the newsgroup Alt.Religion.Scientogy (ARS)
became a new source of information. The cult immediately
attacked it, and that alone gave it relevance. One day somebody
posted an article from Arnie's site: http://www.lermanet.com/shannon/

This article discussed Hubbards biography and factually refuted
nearly every point about him that we were led to believe.
Hubbard, it turned out, wasn't "crippled and blinded" at the end
of WWII. He had an ulcer! He wasn't a hero in the war; he was a
nobody, at best, if not a goofball. Point by point of Rons noble
existence were shot down. After reading this article, the doors
opened for me and I saw "mans greatest friend" for what he really
was... A lying con man.

 

[Gadfly]

For me, the answer is "all of the above" (previously mentioned by various posters).

The key aspects though were:

0. Getting OUT of the Sea Org. Getting far away from any staff situation.

1. A willingness to critically examines any aspect of Hubbard and Scientology. The Internet in the mid-late 1990s helped with that, because I found others often mentioned many of the same "outpoints" with Scientology that I had also noticed through the years.

2. Even while involved with Scientology, I always had friends outside of Scientology, my own business outside of Scientology, played music with wogs", and had always been an avid student and practitioner of "other practices". So, it wasn't so hard for me really because I had never been a 100% overly-dedicated fanatical rah-rah-rah Clear-The-Planet Scio-Bozo. Those "types" tended to always annoy me and struck me as "fake", "over-the-top" and "weird".

3. It really helped to break down the various agreements I had (unknowingly) made with various ideas and claims of Scientology. I chipped away at the various ideas like KSW, "only Scientology can salvage Mankind", "making it to OT", Scientology ethics, Hard Sell, disconnection, and so forth, along with a constant willingness to honestly observe the very many discrepancies between the many CLAIMS of Hubbard & Scientology as compared to the actual corresponding REALITIES.

I had met and knew many Scientologists who were "OT", but who were NOT very capable, or who were simply nasty controlling assholes.

I knew many people who were NOT "OT", or not involved with Scientology at all, but who were very capable, or who were NOT nasty controlling assholes.

I never liked the notion that a person's "production" should be his or her sole gauge of worth or value.

A key thing is that I began my early involvement in the Sea Org, since I joined after being involved with Scientology only about 5 months. I came to very quickly detest so many aspects of the Sea Org. No amount of word clearing, false data stripping, crashing MU finding, or ethics handlings could help me to see it as anything other than an insane group. I learned to keep that to myself, but I never denied it to myself. So, I got out of the Sea Org as quickly as I could (without getting declared), and stayed as far away from Sea Org types as best that I could. I also early on (by 1980) came to the conclusion that Scientology management was a complete abomination - it took a little longer to realize that it was that way EXACTLY because Hubbard designed it that way!

I had been involved with meditation and other practices before Scientology, so the whole KSW fanatical approach tended to always hit me as somewhat too extreme. Hubbard hit me as a pompous ass pretty early on too, though I buried that a bit to get along when I had to stand and clap with others to some picture of the Hubturd. I pretty much always felt like an idiot standing and clapping, just like I did when I had to say "aye sir" to some 14-year-old CMO intern.

I would say that the most important thing is to tear apart the agreements you had made, largely unknowingly, due to involvement with Scientology. There are just so many of these agreements and beliefs, that you had come to accept at a very deep level. Once you break down some of them, it gets easier, until you can jettison the entire belief system of institutionalized lunacy found in the Church of Scientology.

 

[Commander Birdsong]

i understand that, for me it was the opposite

I do recall I once got so high, I was traveling to god, back in my college days. But I didn't like it, as my friends were still on planet earth, and I wanted to be in comm with them and experience life with them.

jesus is coming

look busy

 

[Purple Rain]

What has helped you leave scientology behind? What helped you spiritually, mentally, emotionally, find yourself once again and live life without hubbard's scientology? Was it the support of family and friends? Therapy and counseling? The internet? ESMB or another message board? Cult recovery books? Time alone? Ex's speaking out, sharing their stories? Your own inner qualities? What inspired you to live outside the cult think eventually? Call this thread a place of inspiration for those still caught within the cult mindset, what guidance would you give to them that's worked for you? Thank you in advance for anyone wishing to share your experiences, please post links to threads, sites, books, music, pictures, all are welcome!

Speaking for myself, it's arriving here at ESMB as well as counseling that started me off. That counseling wasn't cult recovery related directly but it did give insights. Personal experiences of the people here gave me so much to think about. Definitely reading threads here helped, I was voracious for anything I could find about that pointed out the flaws of hubbard and scientology. Not because I wished to be critical but because one doesn't hear of this while in the cult. Amazing! The internet helped as well, I could research my own ideas and concepts, as well as those of others offered. A huge variety of the new came at me. Psychology and psychiatry, philosophers, ex's stories, self help and personal growth authors, music, yes music!, Buddhist principles, morality, a lot of tough inner self questions, and so much more. I wanted it all ...lol. Eventually I was introduced to Leo Buscaglia, Jack Kornfield, Don Miguel Ruiz, Brene Brown (a huge thank you to Sallydannce for guiding me to them) after my cult recovery (I wish I had read them during...lol) and the list keeps growing. Thank you!

I would say 20 years after leaving that I still have not found myself again. But I don't know if I ever had myself to lose in the first place.