Do not read if you can't handle bitterness.
After having spent years in the cult of scientology and spending a small fortune one simple argument from a family member cracked my wall of denial and opened my eyes to reality.
Salvation has no price.
Since we could, mankind has questioned, how what where when why.
With that in mind it came to me, that any person, group or entity that truly possessed these answers, and the love of mankind was their motivation, these answers would be made available to the world in their entirety. Not held ransom by a small group in fake navy uniforms.
Money has nothing to do with salvation or spirituality. We are all worthy, rich poor, black white, because we are all in this together. The REAL answers to spirituality would bring us together not split us into factions or ideologies.
If scientology worked as they claim it does the world would have embraced it and freed itself from the birth death cycle and we would all be free to play whatever game we want. Scientology cannot deliver what it promises and charges top dollar for.
Finally, how can a benevolent organization deny a person access to immortality simply because they read something, said something or wrote something that disagreed?
It can't. Because then it wouldn't be serving mankind, it would be protecting its own hidden agenda. Which in the case of scientology is the pursuit of power, money and control via any means possible.
You saw the forest, I saw the trees. And we came to the same conclusion, I think.
People came into the fold and I expected them as individuals to "move upscale" to have more ARC, more patience, compassion, intelligence, spirit of play, love.
But I saw reges calling public "10k kid" and "this week's big fish". They were all ARC with them in the room, but the moment they left the room and the door was closed, it was like a hunter after prey, planning strategies and tags, finding their buttons to use against them. "All to help them get up the bridge of course". But I saw the gleam; the joy for the reges was mostly getting the big close.
I heard the term dog PC. I saw sad people blamed for their lack of gain in auditing and people who were griefy over loss told to "get over it". I saw PCs who had run out of money suddenly invisable in the HGC, despite bogged cases. If you, as an auditor or D of P, really HAD the answer wouldn't you allow them to continue, somehow?
Harrassed Dof Ps trying to get their stats up so they could see their own children, would blame auditors and PCs, handling them with anger and resentment. Less Upscale I expect than when they were recutited to this "sane team".
I saw staff and SO members talking to their juniors as if they were slaves, when these same people were hard working, intelligent and dedicated to the cause. We drilled the defiition of TEAM so often I can repeat it to you now, while asleep if I had to. But we were given orders from unknown terminals with so much altitude that to query their orders was to invite comm ev. There was NO FEELING that we were on the same team as some messengers, for example, who I now find had things even worse than we did - no wonder these kids acted as if our non-compliance would start the destruction of the world - it would
Their world as they were punished for acts they had NO control over and should not be expected to be responsible for.
We were supposed to understand humans, and love them despite any abberations etc and yet the way people acted as one went higher was opposite to that. We were supposed to be experts in communication, yet people shouted and screamed in frustration as their unreal orders were queried. We were supposed to "obnose" better than any other group of people, yet those highest up obviously had NO IDEA that we were working our buts off trying to build orgs and clear the planet. Instead they targeted US when public in another continent didn't buy auditing or join the SO or staff. My god they were acting like SPs.
I saw marriages busted because orgs didn't take them into account when posting. I saw 2D betrayals ignored and now I have heard of children abused, neglected and treated like garbagage. Not upscale in any book.
The higher people got the more arrogant and superior they acted. The less compassion was evident in individual people. The most "senior" terminal I ever spent time with, WDC for something, was the coldest, most inhuman flat eyed, dough muscled, woman I have ever met. She had done all the OT levels and trained as an auditor. Either she false attested or she had been a worm when she started and this was an improvement OR this was the real product of scientology. Cold, uncaring, unable to connect, unable to see reality and 100% certain that everything she believed was truth.
The warm and understanding people I saw above me, all got busted and punished for "reasonableness". Never mind the stats.
Status meant so much, an OT was "worth more" than a PC, admin personnel were deemed "exec material" or not and considerd valuable or not because of that. A 17 year old mesenger with less than a year in the SO would have no respect for veterans who had given their lives to the cause. They who had read 1/10th of the policies of the founder would close their ears to references they were offered - who was that CO to tell them anything!
Even SPs, since doing the PTS/Sp course I considered them worthy of pity perhaps but not fear or disgust. After all, these were people like you and me, who had been suppressed so much they could no longer see freindship ad only saw enemies. Goodness how could we despise them?
When I began to read the material about Hubbard and his personality I found out how coniving and mean he was, how impervious to human care and compassion. I was sickened.
We were creating a world where that was how an upstat acted - and I felt ashamed to have contributed so much of my effort to this cause.
If this is how Scientologists end up, then Scientology is NOT what is looks like from the outside, the "tech" in the bulletins is PR and nothing else, written as bait for followers. The true technology of Scientology is one of how to get people to spend their lives making money for the old man and feel like they are heroes doing it, even while they shout and degrade their team mates working next to them, which was not very far behind in the intentions of Hubbard. Perhaps he was one of those perverted people who only get off on seeing people degraded.
and 
to ESMB! 
Neo. 