NASA confirms SCIENTOLOGY DATA !!!!

[me myself & i]

Next week at the international NASA Speculation Confirmation Convention (called the NASA SCC) the head of NASA, Dr. Jerald Smith is prepared to confirm that Scientology was right in regard to a number of profound insights, being namely....

#1. The universe is not billions of years old, but is trillions of years old. Apparently some early transcriptionists for NASA misread the number of zero's.

#2. A locomotive train station has been discovered and confirmed to exist on the east side of Mars.

#3. An eternal battery has been located in the Pleadies region of space which appears to have a former intergalatic leader attached to it.

This is good news for Scientology.

 

[ChuckNorrisCutsMyLawn]

Next week at the international NASA Speculation Confirmation Convention (called the NASA SCC) the head of NASA, Dr. Jerald Smith is prepared to confirm that Scientology was right in regard to a number of profound insights, being namely....

#1. The universe is not billions of years old, but is trillions of years old. Apparently some early transcriptionists for NASA misread the number of zero's.

#2. A locomotive train station has been discovered and confirmed to exist on the east side of Mars.

#3. An eternal battery has been located in the Pleadies region of space which appears to have a former intergalatic leader attached to it.

This is good news for Scientology.

You forgot to mention that archaeologists uncovered several ancient DC-8 runways located near various volcanoes around the planet.

 

[me myself & i]

You forgot to mention that archaeologists uncovered several ancient DC-8 runways located near various volcanoes around the planet.

Also of note, archaeologists have uncovered serveral ancient DC-8 runways located near various volcanoes around the planet.

 

[Type4_PTS]

Also, insiders at NSA have confirmed that they've intercepted telecommunications between DM and Xenu. (including conversations about meeting up at a family reunion).

 

[Operating DB]

Shouldn't this thread be in the humor section?

 

[Dulloldfart]

Shouldn't this thread be in the humor section?

Why? Is it funny?

Paul

 

[uniquemand]

Seems like the straight dope to me.

 

[me myself & i]

Why? Is it funny?

Paul

It's funny to those not conditioned by Scientology to believe in the supremecy of their egomanical imaginary being Paul.

Hubbard said there were locomotives on Mars. Get it? There aren't locomotives on Mars Paul. Hubbard also told you that you are superior to the entire MEST universe. You're not superior to the entire MEST universe Paul. Get it?

It's a joke the world outside of Hubbard laughs at. Not to mention Hubbard laughing at it too. Re-read Hubbards insight on Games, and try to imagine where you fit in his scheme. Lol.

Here's a hint, you're not the creator you imagine yourself to be.

The universe is not trillions of years old. Locomotives aren't on mars. Eternal batteries holding Xenu do not exist. Looking up a word in a dictionary is not revolutionary Study Technology discovered by Ron. Etc. etc. etc.

You've been conned into the inability to laugh at yourself.

Which while tragic is funny to behold.

 

[TheBellMare]

Thank you thank you

I for one am delighted at these scientific discoveries, this corroboration of LRH's brilliance, and will be returning to my local org at once -- with a large IAS donation check -- to resume my course of study on the Basics.

NOT

 

[Wisened One]

Also, insiders at NSA have confirmed that they've intercepted telecommunications between DM and Xenu. (including conversations about meeting up at a family reunion).

...and the pic of DM caught making out with Xenu's great, great, great, great granddaughter...

 

[EP - Ethics Particle]

Alternate scenario...

...and the pic of DM caught making out with Xenu's great, great, great, great granddaughter...

Or with his thumb up his bum and his mind in neutral!

 

[Blue Spirit]

Makes Sense

Also, insiders at NSA have confirmed that they've intercepted telecommunications between DM and Xenu. (including conversations about meeting up at a family reunion).

That one I'd believe.

 

[programmer_guy]

#2. A locomotive train station has been discovered and confirmed to exist on the east side of Mars.

Ooops! NASA screwed up. Hubbard said that was on Venus... not Mars.

 

[altruistichedonist]

#2. A locomotive train station has been discovered and confirmed to exist on the east side of Mars.

Wasn't the liar nearly run over by a locomotive train on Venus.

Too bad about the nearly !

Betcha he was run over in a parallel universe !

 

[nexus100]

It's funny to those not conditioned by Scientology to believe in the supremecy of their egomanical imaginary being Paul.

Hubbard said there were locomotives on Mars. Get it? There aren't locomotives on Mars Paul. Hubbard also told you that you are superior to the entire MEST universe. You're not superior to the entire MEST universe Paul. Get it?

It's a joke the world outside of Hubbard laughs at. Not to mention Hubbard laughing at it too. Re-read Hubbards insight on Games, and try to imagine where you fit in his scheme. Lol.

Here's a hint, you're not the creator you imagine yourself to be.

The universe is not trillions of years old. Locomotives aren't on mars. Eternal batteries holding Xenu do not exist. Looking up a word in a dictionary is not revolutionary Study Technology discovered by Ron. Etc. etc. etc.

You've been conned into the inability to laugh at yourself.

Which while tragic is funny to behold.

I believe Hubbard said we are senior to the universe. Whether that means the universe is a freshman, sophomore, or junior I don't know. I didn't even know it was in high school! But Paul is actually funny, if you like British humor. I got a kick out of "why, is it funny?" I guess you're conditioned a different way, not to see that. A good measure of ego on a subject is one's necessity to defend a position with regard to it. We are all blanketed with our own opinions it seems. I don't know anyone, certainly including me, who doesn't move into that defensive position from time to time.

But enough of this chit-chat, I've got to make sure Xenu is still home. He's got one of those leg things with a transponder so we know if he tries to leave the planet. A couple nights ago he took a shower and the transponder shorted out and showed he was in Sepulveda! I about had a heart attack.

 

[skydog]

Church's response

According to the Associated Press, Tommy Davis, spokesman for the church said, "it is about time that science has finally validated what those practicing scientologists have known for years. It further confirms our earlier responses concerning the critics of this religion as being degenerate scum bags with nothing better to do than post vile, hateful lies on the internet."

When confronted with the fact that the NASA news was "sarcasm", Davis, said "never mind" and stormed out of the interview.

 

[ChuckNorrisCutsMyLawn]

I wonder if archeologists have uncovered any of the glass plates the evil psychs used to super-cool and then ram into our faces to brainwash us four billion years ago.