Very nice story Roger, sort of a Hat Write Up on how to seek out and create a sane Second Dynamic Relationship! You say, "and yes she is pretty" but also she must have though, "yes. he's handswome with this stylish chin whiskers and mustache (if you had them then)" There is something called "chemistry" which seems to be some kind of animal magnetism on the genetic body line, plus there is a bit of magnetism on the thetan side too. Women often look for a certain "take charge" posture in their males and tend to judge men a lot by their position in business and their financial success and acumen. Men tend to look at women in the manner of their physical beauty and with a carnal type of desire and lust.
The bottom line is that if the chemistry is not there, it just seems to override and trump the logic of both people having the same goals and purposes. I have been on both sides of the coin. Take Carole Ferguson, the course supervisor at CCLA. We were perfect for each other the way you and V are and I sensed she liked me and would have a 2 D with me. There just was no where near enough physical attraction for me to make a move. I wouldn't even look at her and felt I was commiting an overt by overlooking her and offered the area up several times in auditing but to no avail.
I was 32 when I blew off the wonderful being and fine woman known as Carol Ferguson but now at 70 (assumimg she would have had me), and the woman I am interested in is about to turn 60, I thought that at these ages, chemistry would not be such an important part of the 2 D but I couldn't have been more wrong. Its not even looks, she thinks I am handsome but there are intangibles such that even though she is desparately looking for a 2 D, she will not even consider me as a 2 D though our goals and interests line up quite well.
So while I relate well to your story and consider your actions with V as an ideal approach for intelligent and mature people and look at your story as sound hatting material on the subject, I would like you to address the subject of chemistry. Let's say that either you or V did not find the other's "chemistry" exciting but all other things were as you stated in your story. How do you think your relationship with V would have proceeded?
Lakey
This post intrigued me for a couple of reasons.
A. I remember Carol Ferguson well. She was smart, hard working, and a darn nice person.
B. Chemistry is a physical universe word for a spiritual universe phenomena usually.
I think that when one analyses chemistry, one needs to look at how much of a body or how much of a being the individuals are being.
Person A can be obsessed with looks, Person B can be obsessed with intelligence, Person C may be more receptive to love and mind syncing, Person D may need a person who enjoys life risking sports, Person E may like speed, Person F may like order and on and on
When you get down closer to basics of spirituality, and away from superficial physical endowments, the "chemistry" is more based in primal core drives and one's ability to synchronize with another's primal drives. PLUS the ability to grant beingness to the other's reason for living.
If you're operating at human level, it is probably hard for a popular social clique person to make it with a waitress in a coffee shop.
If you're working on a spiritual level, wide variations in physical cultural differences can occur.
As a high school grad, age twenty, straight off the farm, I snagged a forty-six
year old blue blooded, master's degree in archaeology holding, ex wife of a fortune 500 company CEO, as my girl friend for several years.
We were both Clear and auditors. We were both literate and libertarian. On the horniness scale, we were off the top of the charts.
There are people, who are auditors and Clear, who are off the bottom of the horniness charts.
Part of chemistry is knowing who to choose to hit on.
The way I see it, when looking, you hit on others using the shotgun approach. When you get a response of comparable magnitude to YOUR magnitude of sexual interest, your magnitude of altruism, connectiveness, selfishness, family interest, sports (doing) activity, out of the box thinking, cognitive skills, and organizational skills.
When THOSE sync or are mutually benefitting, then you have a good match.
ie. chemistry
moving right along:
jees, what seems to be the problem with having a female for a good friend?
Having good friends, who you want to spend time with is a blessing no matter what.
