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The Little Thread Which Grew - the Apollo '73 to Everything But

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purple haze

Patron with Honors
There I was, enthralled with the ins and outs of Lakey's dirty laundary, and Lavinda and Candy, and The ex's boyfriend's attempt to get the ex in the sack...or to hold hands, or something, and reaching and withdrawing and how to "lead" and riveted by Leon's revelation of the superiority of the fuglies over those poor beautiful people who can never make case gain due to the scourge of looking fabulous, but cannot work out how this post relates.
Lakey, or Leon? can you use your creative powers to work this into the narrative(s).

I liked that post by Hatty.

LOL:hysterical:
 

Hatshepsut

Crusader
Nice post Leon. Substitute selves are a hot ticket leading into ser facs and safe solutions, valences, and fixed ideas and all that you said. One nice big bundle to understand. Now that other thing you said about how the dynamics are also substitutes for the being ... that's a deep pool. I've spent much time rereading the emmanations theories of how the world was created according to gnostic and pre-gnostic accounts. All this reaching and pervading and then withdrawing from a zone, deciding not to totally reside there. Just leaving in your stead something else. Something closely replicating you. Ideas that came to my mind reading what you said here.
I wish we had the Zoroastrian and Assyrian texts on how the spirit formed the world in the same way that we posssess the Old Testament archives __ Genesis.

Ever heard of what happened to Dorian Grey? :whistling:


Mark A. Baker

Yeah. :) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Picture_of_Dorian_Gray

I'm going to let my body get old in lieu of myself.

Actually I did not really start getting old until a few yrs ago. I looked 25 for about 25 yrs. Customers used to bring their relatives up to my bar and say to them; "guess how old she is.. just GUESS!" It was always kinda embarrassing.
I still look young for my age. I guess maybe its because I'm still so juevenile.
Yesterday, I was going to use my picture for my new avatar but could not successfully change bmp file type to jpeg or gif. It was my original avatar created for this board with a pink hat 2009. So now I'm a tiger. Grrrrrrrrr.

I'm late to this board tonight as All About Eve was on TMC. Perfect role for Bette Davis. :thumbsup:
Marilyn Monroe's line "Why do they always look like a nappy rabbit?" to George Sander's "Because that's what they are dear."

Thankyou Dex for more of your story.
 

Hatshepsut

Crusader
Leon
<snip
OK. So you have handled in yourself that level of identification with an object that most other people have not yet handled. You are then not using your body as a complete substitute for self in the way that others are. Likely this will happen on a gradient though, for e.g. do you still use your body'e eyes to see things? ears? do you need food for an energy source to keep you "alive"? These are all gradient steps to take that will eventually be part of your past history.
snip>

In 1982 I had some repair that took me several intensives to do. It was Int charge and it had to do with only being able to continue surviving as a substitue for self. Boy that was a chain to go down. :angry: All of it run from the perspective on not being anywhere near bodies. There were chains crossing chains all over the place on this. It was the only Int RD out of many that really calmed me down. My whole endocrine system had gone beserk from the cross restimulation on this matter. I'm glad I did it recalls only to a release because if I had been pushed into R3R on this I'd a been a basket case. This kinda charge wasn't meant to connect with the human body.
 

lkwdblds

Crusader
The same successful formula still works.

Much of the recent posting shows that my origiinal formula of airing my own dirty laundry on an open panel discussion forum STILL generates large numbers of hits and an enormous amount of replies.

While other threads peter out at around 1.200 to 2.400 hits we roll on endlessly with about 1,200 per day.

If one applies "Look don't listen", one must conclude that the best way to build a large audience on ESMB is to make good usage of this technique.

All kinds of new material have developed in the last two days on all of my Kooky escapades. In deference to Purple Haze, I will only tell one of them. Edey, Lorinda and myself are now calling ourselves, "The 3 Musketeers", we are a 3rd Dynamic activity, not a 2nd and our motto is "One for all and all for One!"

SESSIONS GIVEN BY ME TODAY
3:00 PM Edey's best girlfriend Kadriya - 1 1/2 hours massage and entity running to VGI's.
9:30 PM : A young man had a migraine headache 1 week old and was full of Advil and Iboprofin. In 15 minutes I blew it with massage only.
9:45 PM: A young woman had a headache. Using massage only, I got it reduced by about 85% but it would not blow. I found a PTP having to do with her work. I turned her over to Edey who counciled her on it and brought her to VVGI's and the headache was fully blown.
10:30:pM Edey had a sore neck and tired feeling. I worked on her for about 20 minutes to a good result.

My pay is that I can get a facial or full body massage from Kadriya for free next Tuesday. I chose the facial. On the other sessions I got just hugs from Edey and the other woman and a handshake from the young man and a hug by his wife. No money changed hands
Lakey
 
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Ted

Gold Meritorious Patron
Much of the recent posting shows that my origiinal formula of airing my own dirty laundry on an open panel discussion forum STILL generates large numbers of hits and an enormous amount of replies.

While other threads peter out at around 1.200 to 2.400 hits we roll on endlessly with about 1,200 per day.

If one applies "Look don't listen", one must conclude that the best wasy to build a large audience on ESMB is to make good usage of this technique.

All kinds of new material have developed in the last two days on all of my Kooky escapades. In deference to Purple Haze, I will only tell one of them. Edey, Lorinda and myself are now calling ourselves, "The 3 Musketeers", we are a 3rd Dynamic activity, not a 2nd and our motto is "One for all and all for One!"

SESSIONS GIVEN BY ME TODAY
3:00 PM Edey's best girlfriend Kadriya - 1 1/2 hours massage and entity running to VGI's.
9:30 PM : A young man had a migraine headache 1 week old and was full of Advil and Iboprofin. In 15 minutes I blew it with massage only.
9:45 PM: A young woman had a headache. Using massage only, I got it reduced by about 85% but it would not blow. I found a PTP having to do with her work. I turned her over to Edey who counciled her on it and brought her to VVGI's and the headache was fully blown.
10:30:pM Edey had a sore neck and tired feeling. I worked on her for about 20 minutes to a good result.

My pay is that I can get a facial or full body massage from Kadriya for free next Tuesday. I chose the facial. On the other sessions I got just hugs from Edey and the other woman and a handshake from the young man and a hug by his wife. No money changed hands
Lakey


The world is filled with people who have thoughts about, ideas on, opinions, and "I thinks." The internet magnifies this phenomena as few people in life or here are willing to expose their own touching emotions and personal experiences.

Your formula is about being real even if that reality confounds some of the readers, even if (and when) you appear to be a kook. :wink2:

Other posters here also post from experience that others might learn from and use to upgrade their own. Key to that are Roger, Carmelo, and Facey. Leon makes good postings for his positive scientology experiences. Veda brings levity when perceptions of hubbard and scio get out of hand.

Here's my think: The success is not based on airing dirty laundry. Some of us have audited thousands of hours. We have heard about dirty laundry! :omg: This on the Apollo thread in nothing in comparison. And it is nothing in comparison to some of the personal stories that have come out of the Aussies.
 

Ted

Gold Meritorious Patron
Engram Running

If the preclear will just go with the flow, look at/experience whatever comes up, there's no telling what will come to view. Many preclears have trouble with their own, analytical thinker getting in the way. If an incident doesn't make sense, they will reject it outright. I have done that myself as a preclear. Yet, if the incident made sense it probably wasn't too aberrative.

Many years ago, I was, as a preclear, running disgust. The incident in question took place in the early days of steam locomotives. I was the fireman stoking the fire. The job was hot, nasty, and dirty. What made it disgusting is that I was stoking the fire with desiccated cadavers. They were stacked in the coal car like so much cordwood. As they burned cinders flew off the fire each time the door was opened to thrown another in. I was covered in cadaver soot! :omg: I just wanted to get the job over with and take a bath or a dunk in a river or lake. :omg:

I watched the countryside going by, wished I could be there in the cool, clean air, excepting for my desperately needing the work.

As a preclear I dismissed the incident as dub-in. Who woulda thunk such a thing could have any bearing on reality?

Many years later I was watching a history show on Egypt. In it the narrator explained that mummies were so plentiful in Egypt that they were sold off to the newspaper industry in the U.S. There they were stripped of their bindings to make paper of the cotton. The mummies were then used by the rail industry to burn in their steam locomotives as it was more cost effective than wood or coal.

Imagine that!

The following news story prompted my writing the above. Imagine trying to run this story out some day. WTF!?

+++


Crocodile on plane kills 19 passengers
by Staff Writers From: news.com.au October 22, 2010 7:50AM

• Crocodile escapes from carrier bag
• Creature causes on board stampede
• Plane tips, then crashed into house

A STOWAWAY crocodile on a flight escaped from its carrier bag and sparked an onboard stampede that caused the flight to crash, killing 19 passengers and crew.

Croc caused plane crash, says survivor
A plane crash in the Congo that killed 20 people could have been caused by an escaped crocodile.

The croc had been hidden in a passenger's sports bag - allegedly with plans to sell it - but it tore loose and ran amok, sparking panic.

A stampede of terrified passengers caused the small aircraft to lose balance and tip over in mid-air during an internal flight in the Democratic Republic of Congo.

The unbalanced load caused the aircraft, on a routine flight from the capital, Kinshasa, to the regional airport at Bandundu, to go into a spin and crash into a house.

A lone survivor from the Let 410 plane told the astonishing tale to investigators.

Ironically the crocodile also survived the crash but was later killed with a machete by rescuers sifting through the wreckage.

British pilot Chris Wilson, 39, from Shurdington, near Cheltenham, Glocs was acting as the plane's first officer alongside Belgian pilot Danny Philemotte, 62, who was owner of the plane's operator Filair.

The plane smashed into an empty house just a few hundred metres from its destination.

"According to the inquiry report and the testimony of the only survivor, the crash happened because of a panic sparked by the escape of a crocodile hidden in a sports bag,” news organisation Jeune Afrique reported.

"One of the passengers had hidden the animal, which he planned to sell, in a big sports bag, from which the reptile escaped as the plane began its descent into Bandundu.

"The terrified air hostess hurried towards the cockpit, followed by the passengers."

The plane was then sent off-balance "despite the desperate efforts of the pilot", said the report.

"The crocodile survived the crash before being cut up with a machete."
The plane was a Czech-made Let L-410 Turbolet, one of more than 1,100 produced as short-range transport aircraft and used mainly for passenger services.
+++
 

Ted

Gold Meritorious Patron
Dalai Lama: "There is no denying that consideration of others is worthwhile and that our happiness is inextricably bound up with the happiness of others. There is no denying that if society suffers, we ourselves suffer, and the more our hearts and minds are afflicted with ill-will, the more miserable we become. We can reject religion, ideology, received wisdom, but we cannot escape the need for love and compassion."


I am old enough to have seen the original stage show. Here is the song, "Easy To Be Hard," from the movie, "Hair." I prefer the original stage version, but this one is good, too.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aCs1rkAXZ9o&feature=fvw
 

Enthetan

Master of Disaster
What I wrote about beautiful people being the most aberrated in my experience - I was actually referring to some males I audited. Male models who really were breath-takingly good looking. Girls would literally queue up to be shagged by them. And their attention was totally stuck on themselves. Each one was the cult he was totally devoted to.

Were the male models straight, gay, or you didn't ask?
 

lkwdblds

Crusader
Nice to be critiqued by someone who knows of what they speak!

The world is filled with people who have thoughts about, ideas on, opinions, and "I thinks." The internet magnifies this phenomena as few people in life or here are willing to expose their own touching emotions and personal experiences.

Your formula is about being real even if that reality confounds some of the readers, even if (and when) you appear to be a kook. :wink2:

Thanks Ted. I have a whacko streak in me, especially when my 2 D urge is acting up. I can also wear a jacket and tie and be totally serious. In fact that is primarily what I did until I got into Scientology. My ideal and soul mate of sorts, Mozart, acted totally kooky throughout his life. He was a real prankster. I just want to remain child like. By definitition, that is being immature.

Other posters here also post from experience that others might learn from and use to upgrade their own. Key to that are Roger, Carmelo, and Facey. Leon makes good postings for his positive scientology experiences. Veda brings levity when perceptions of hubbard and scio get out of hand.

I agree totally. I greatly respect and admire many or our key posters. Many of their posts are of higher quality than mine. I would also mention Hats, Enthetan and yourself. I learn from reading what so many others have to say. I never claim that I am the wisest and I am not but I am wise enough to know what that I am not that wise - I am still learning.

Here's my think: The success is not based on airing dirty laundry. Some of us have audited thousands of hours. We have heard about dirty laundry! :omg: This on the Apollo thread in nothing in comparison. And it is nothing in comparison to some of the personal stories that have come out of the Aussies.

Great post Ted, I only would object to the last sentence, that we are nothing compared to some of the pesonal stories out of the Aussies. I have not read all those Aussie stories but we have fine stories of our own on this thread. My story is a fine story, I am proud of what I wrote for both my Apollo and CCLA experiences. It may not be in a league with the finest stories but there are some very great moments in my CCLA story for example.

Two stories posted on this thread equal any stories posted by the Aussies IMHO and those are Face's Story and Johnny, the Magic Thetan's story. I will put those two stories up against any story from the Aussie's or anyone else. Now Dexter Gelfand is putting out his story on this thread, choosing us probably, because of our vastly higher readership than just starting his own story thread.

I believe our thread is now encyclopedic in nature. Not only do we have two super stories, as mentioned above plus my good story and snippets of other people's stories, such as what Hats has put up or what Carmelo has posted or even the many glimpses which Roger has given us of his story plus dozens of other stories only partially told here.

We cover all of life, as I think Fisherman wrote about 3 months ago, summarizing all that we discussed here in a two day period. It went from creation of the Universe to Goethe Poems to films, to classical music, to pop music to travel guide to photographic displays. Virtually all of life was covered in that 2 day period and Fisherman, as a "never been a Scientologist scholar" picked up on it. In fact most of the non Scientology researcher looking into why people stayed with Scientology so long and paid so much money, are reading here to get their answers.

IMHO our range of diversity and depth of readership easily makes us the best thread by far on ESMB. FCDC is the only other thread with high readership but I believe our postings are more pertinant and universal than theirs.

Of course, I am proud that I started this thread and I don't mind flaunting that fact. As I always say, I was good on my own for about 7,700 posts. Sweetness gets a huge assist for talking me into continuing the thread and Carmelo was the major impetus behind designing our current format.

After that, the three of us kept the thread going until it caught on. Since then, its been all you people who post here. Its not my thread anymore or even Carmelo's, it belongs to all who read and post here. I believe it is the best thread on ESMB but if someone believe otherwise, more power to them!
Lakey
 
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Dexter's post over the last couple of days is a microcosm of this thread. There is the passion to do right by our fellow man. Using what tools we had, some arbitrary, some genuine, we work to make things go right.

that's what this thread is about. The human condition, and how to make it better by a little bit, each of us, doing what we know.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FDIQcigvgrE
 
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Leon

Gold Meritorious Patron
If the preclear will just go with the flow, look at/experience whatever comes up, there's no telling what will come to view. Many preclears have trouble with their own, analytical thinker getting in the way. If an incident doesn't make sense, they will reject it outright. I have done that myself as a preclear. Yet, if the incident made sense it probably wasn't too aberrative.

Many years ago, I was, as a preclear, running disgust. The incident in question took place in the early days of steam locomotives. I was the fireman stoking the fire. The job was hot, nasty, and dirty. What made it disgusting is that I was stoking the fire with desiccated cadavers. They were stacked in the coal car like so much cordwood. As they burned cinders flew off the fire each time the door was opened to thrown another in. I was covered in cadaver soot! :omg: I just wanted to get the job over with and take a bath or a dunk in a river or lake. :omg:

I watched the countryside going by, wished I could be there in the cool, clean air, excepting for my desperately needing the work.

As a preclear I dismissed the incident as dub-in. Who woulda thunk such a thing could have any bearing on reality?

Many years later I was watching a history show on Egypt. In it the narrator explained that mummies were so plentiful in Egypt that they were sold off to the newspaper industry in the U.S. There they were stripped of their bindings to make paper of the cotton. The mummies were then used by the rail industry to burn in their steam locomotives as it was more cost effective than wood or coal.

Imagine that!

The following news story prompted my writing the above. Imagine trying to run this story out some day. WTF!?

+++


Crocodile on plane kills 19 passengers
by Staff Writers From: news.com.au October 22, 2010 7:50AM

• Crocodile escapes from carrier bag
• Creature causes on board stampede
• Plane tips, then crashed into house

A STOWAWAY crocodile on a flight escaped from its carrier bag and sparked an onboard stampede that caused the flight to crash, killing 19 passengers and crew.

Croc caused plane crash, says survivor
A plane crash in the Congo that killed 20 people could have been caused by an escaped crocodile.

The croc had been hidden in a passenger's sports bag - allegedly with plans to sell it - but it tore loose and ran amok, sparking panic.

A stampede of terrified passengers caused the small aircraft to lose balance and tip over in mid-air during an internal flight in the Democratic Republic of Congo.

The unbalanced load caused the aircraft, on a routine flight from the capital, Kinshasa, to the regional airport at Bandundu, to go into a spin and crash into a house.

A lone survivor from the Let 410 plane told the astonishing tale to investigators.

Ironically the crocodile also survived the crash but was later killed with a machete by rescuers sifting through the wreckage.

British pilot Chris Wilson, 39, from Shurdington, near Cheltenham, Glocs was acting as the plane's first officer alongside Belgian pilot Danny Philemotte, 62, who was owner of the plane's operator Filair.

The plane smashed into an empty house just a few hundred metres from its destination.

"According to the inquiry report and the testimony of the only survivor, the crash happened because of a panic sparked by the escape of a crocodile hidden in a sports bag,” news organisation Jeune Afrique reported.

"One of the passengers had hidden the animal, which he planned to sell, in a big sports bag, from which the reptile escaped as the plane began its descent into Bandundu.

"The terrified air hostess hurried towards the cockpit, followed by the passengers."

The plane was then sent off-balance "despite the desperate efforts of the pilot", said the report.

"The crocodile survived the crash before being cut up with a machete."
The plane was a Czech-made Let L-410 Turbolet, one of more than 1,100 produced as short-range transport aircraft and used mainly for passenger services.
+++


You've just gotta love Africa. Nowhere else do they do thing in such STYLE ! ! ! !
 

Leon

Gold Meritorious Patron
Reminds me of a case when I was still at school. Some guys in Malawi had had an argument and the one decided to get the other one killed. So he went to a witch-doctor type who agreed to do the job - he would turn into a crocodile and would then catch and eat the intended victim. Sweet, all agreed. Payment to be made when the job was done.

So about a week or two later the designated victim got caught by a croc and was duly eaten. The witch-doctor went and claimed his money. "Oh no" said the first guy, "It was not you that ate the guy - you were sleeping in your hut at the time. It was a different crocodile that ate the victim. So I don't owe you anything."

"Of course I was in my hut. In my sleep I turned into a crocodile and ate the man." was the reply. But the first guy refused to budge. it was a different crocodile, he insisted.

So this pissed the witch-doctor off and, with Malawi being newly independant as a country and all that, he decided to put these fancy law-courts to the test. He went and laid a charge against the guy in order to get the judge to order payment. The case was duly heard in trial and the judge found in favour of the witch-doctor, saying that the defendent had not proved that it was a different crocodile and therefore the court accepts the witch-doctor's bona fides. The man had to pay or go to jail.

No thought of murder was involved since it was a crocodile that killed the man, not a human.
 

Ted

Gold Meritorious Patron
Reminds me of a case when I was still at school. Some guys in Malawi had had an argument and the one decided to get the other one killed. So he went to a witch-doctor type who agreed to do the job - he would turn into a crocodile and would then catch and eat the intended victim. Sweet, all agreed. Payment to be made when the job was done.

So about a week or two later the designated victim got caught by a croc and was duly eaten. The witch-doctor went and claimed his money. "Oh no" said the first guy, "It was not you that ate the guy - you were sleeping in your hut at the time. It was a different crocodile that ate the victim. So I don't owe you anything."

"Of course I was in my hut. In my sleep I turned into a crocodile and ate the man." was the reply. But the first guy refused to budge. it was a different crocodile, he insisted.

So this pissed the witch-doctor off and, with Malawi being newly independant as a country and all that, he decided to put these fancy law-courts to the test. He went and laid a charge against the guy in order to get the judge to order payment. The case was duly heard in trial and the judge found in favour of the witch-doctor, saying that the defendent had not proved that it was a different crocodile and therefore the court accepts the witch-doctor's bona fides. The man had to pay or go to jail.

No thought of murder was involved since it was a crocodile that killed the man, not a human.


Interesting culture.
 
Reminds me of a case when I was still at school. Some guys in Malawi had had an argument and the one decided to get the other one killed. So he went to a witch-doctor type who agreed to do the job - he would turn into a crocodile and would then catch and eat the intended victim. Sweet, all agreed. Payment to be made when the job was done.

So about a week or two later the designated victim got caught by a croc and was duly eaten. The witch-doctor went and claimed his money. "Oh no" said the first guy, "It was not you that ate the guy - you were sleeping in your hut at the time. It was a different crocodile that ate the victim. So I don't owe you anything."

"Of course I was in my hut. In my sleep I turned into a crocodile and ate the man." was the reply. But the first guy refused to budge. it was a different crocodile, he insisted.

So this pissed the witch-doctor off and, with Malawi being newly independant as a country and all that, he decided to put these fancy law-courts to the test. He went and laid a charge against the guy in order to get the judge to order payment. The case was duly heard in trial and the judge found in favour of the witch-doctor, saying that the defendent had not proved that it was a different crocodile and therefore the court accepts the witch-doctor's bona fides. The man had to pay or go to jail.

No thought of murder was involved since it was a crocodile that killed the man, not a human.

Actually there's a certain rather elegant logic to it. Generally speaking there are no laws against turning one's self into a non-human predator and then killing a human being. Additionally it would be very difficult to PROVE that the non-human predator responsible for the killing was in fact the human claiming credit for the kill. Easier to demonstrate "non compos mentis" on the part of the human. Laws typically apply only to the behavior of humans, at least that has been so in the west since the middle ages.

In this case, there was an apparent failure to fulfill the terms of a contract. If commercial contracts for the services of witchdoctors are held to be valid then the courts must uphold them barring some strict provision underlaw which denies them.

Such an action can be viewed as moral if perhaps not strictly ethical.


Mark A. Baker :clap:
 

lkwdblds

Crusader
Kudos to Candy

Purple Haze aka Candy has been giving me some quality help in applying tech to my 2D fiasco. Besides all the case that I have posted, a lot for humor and shock value and some as a cry for help from others to help me out, there has been a significant amount of case gain which I have made in this difficult area. Things are starting to break my way as I gain more understanding.

MY SECOND DYNAMIC C/S.
A special amount of gratitude goes to Candy for being my 2d C/S. She has had the patience to devote much of her valuable time in listening to a lot of my case as well as read about it. Right from the outset, she encouraged me to apply tech such as Reach and Withdraw and the Expanded Tone Scale. She has recommended a CD for me to read and given me a link to it. It relates to the book, "Women are from Venus, Men are from Mars". Candy has seen all the persona involved in my various romantic escapades out in O.C. She is willing to confront my bank so as to help me out. She does not have to listen to these case manifestations of mine but she does and she C/Ses me. She has been such a sweetheart that I want to give her a plug. She is one of the top tech people in the world and she is available to counsel people in the Greater Los Angeles area. She offers a lengthy and comprehensive free intro service which usually takes 1 to 2 hours but has gone as long as 5 hours. For anyone lookding for world class guidance and counseling, Candy would be just an excellent person to help you.

ON THE BODY ISSUE VS THE SPIRIT ISSUE. Of course I know spirit is infinitely more important than the body. I just know that for Edey and now Lorinda, currently my two closest friends, the physical part of the relationship is very important. Both women work hard at looking magnificent and also being healthy. As Edey told me, "I am offering a total package, mind, body and spirit. It really turns me off that a lot of men who are out of shape and eat junk food, think they can hit on me and think that I will desire them for their mind or their money or sense of humor." She continued that if a man or woman works to maintain a fit and healthy body, then he or she shows discipline and causitiveness and she respects the person as being more causitive. Finally with people in their 60's and 70's, there is the practical consideration of life span. She doesn't want to start up with a man who is severly out of shape, since his remaining life span might tend to be short.

I greatly admire her for what she said and believe all the points she made are excellent. She will be close friends and buddies with an out of shape man but doesn't want to take him on as a romantic partner. In that limited sense, the body is important to her. I JUST CAN'T MAKE THE POINT ANY CLEARER.

Lakey
 
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Enthetan

Master of Disaster
Purple Haze aka Candy has been giving me some quality help in applying tech to my 2D fiasco. Besides all the case that I have posted, a lot for humor and shock value and some as a cry for help from others to help me out, there has been a significant amount of case gain which I have made in this difficult area. Things are starting to break my way as I gain more understanding.

What worked for me was doing an Admin Scale on my 2D, which led to being able to visualize what exactly my ideal scene was. A month later I started my 2D with the girl I eventually married and has been my wife for all these years.
 

Enthetan

Master of Disaster
“The Party seeks power entirely for its own sake. We are not interested in the good of others… We are different from all the oligarchies of the past in that we know what we’re doing… Power is not a means, it is an end… The object of power is power… Always there will be the intoxication of power… We are the Priests of Power… Power is power over human beings, over the body; but above all over the mind… The real power; the power we have to fight for night and day is not power over things but over men. How does one man assert his power over another… by making him suffer… Power is in inflicting pain and humiliation. Power is in tearing human minds to pieces and putting them together again in new shapes of your own choosing… We shall crush you down to the point from which there is no coming back… Never again will you be capable of ordinary human feeling; everything will be dead inside you… You will be hollow. We shall squeeze you empty and then we shall fill you with ourselves.”
George Orwell – 1984

The more I reflect on 1984, the more I think that there were a bunch of people like what Orwell described in some of the most senior exec positions.
 
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