I'm here to save my dad. All help appreciated.

[Optamind]

Hi my name is Jonathan Turpin.

I was on staff from 2001 to 2003 in JBG Day, and Pretoria, South Africa.
I have done OEC up to vol 6, and bridge up to DRD.

I blew staff in 2003, but not before convicing my father that being on staff was the best thing that one could do with one's life. So he is still on staff and it's seriously bad for his health.

I want to make it right.

My dad is Gordon "Dick" Turpin, ED of Education Alive Africa.

Any help will be appreciated.

 

[Alanzo]

Hi my name is Jonathan Turpin.

I was on staff from 2001 to 2003 in JBG Day, and Pretoria, South Africa.
I have done OEC up to vol 6, and bridge up to DRD.

I blew staff in 2003, but not before convicing my father that being on staff was the best thing that one could do with one's life. So he is still on staff and it's seriously bad for his health.

I want to make it right.

My dad is Gordon "Dick" Turpin, ED of Education Alive Africa.

Any help will be appreciated.

Welcome to ESMB, Optamind.

Are you in contact with your dad?

 

[Mystic]

Hi Optamind, welcome to The Board. Keep your hopes up. Help will come along.

 

[TG1]

Optamind,

I don't know anyone in South Africa. But I've seen a guy on Marty's board who goes by the nickname of "Splog" whose real name is Alan Mackinnon who seems to be a savvy guy and really pissed at the church.

I think I recall he's an information technology (computer) guy. That's all I know about him. I don't have any idea if he considers himself to be an Indie or if he just enjoys posting there.

You can read most of Splog's comments to Marty's blog at http://www.xenu-directory.net/indies-2009/poster.php?aid=1239 (thanks, rhill). Skim his comments there, and if you think he might be helpful, perhaps you could reach out to him on Marty's blog.

Or maybe splog is on ESMB too?

That's all I can think of.

Very best to you.

TG1

 

[Jachs]

Hi my name is Jonathan Turpin.

I was on staff from 2001 to 2003 in JBG Day, and Pretoria, South Africa.
I have done OEC up to vol 6, and bridge up to DRD.

I blew staff in 2003, but not before convicing my father that being on staff was the best thing that one could do with one's life. So he is still on staff and it's seriously bad for his health.

I want to make it right.

My dad is Gordon "Dick" Turpin, ED of Education Alive Africa.

Any help will be appreciated.

Hi Optamind, there are many true stories on this forum, i suggest you start reading, whatever the core reasons are WHY your dad is still in would be the areas i would look at.

Purpose , Self Improvement, inability to confront others etc.

The list of 1000 is a good too.

http://forums.whyweprotest.net/12-active-projects/big-list-over-1000-exes-who-have-spoken-out-65217/

http://www.cs.cmu.edu/~dst/Library/Shelf/wakefield/us-15.html

by Margery Wakefield

excert; What I want to do in this chapter is provide a few tips for the parents of a Scientologist, written from the point of view of an ex-member. In other words, things that helped me or that I think would have helped me to escape from the cult.

In writing this chapter, I rely on the wisdom of others who are professionals or experts in the field of cult recovery, including: The Cult Awareness Network; The American Family Foundation in the book Cults: What Parents Should Know; Steve Hassan in his book Combatting Cult Mind Control; James and Marcia Rudin in their book Prison or Paradise; and R. K. Heller in the book Deprogramming for Do-It-Yourselfers.

• DO tell the person that you love them and let them know that your home is always open to them should they want to get away from the cult. There are many people in Scientology who are deeply unhappy and many who even want to leave, but who stay because they think they have no place to go.
• DON'T use a confrontational or condescending approach with the Scientologist. Never start or become engaged in an argument with him about Scientology. Even though you know you are right, understand that the Scientolgist also believes himself to be right about Scientology. An argument will only drive the person further away.
• DO keep your cool and try to control your emotional reactions, especially anger. If you can think of a time when someone was angry with you, you can understand that anger only increases feelings of defensiveness in the other person. Don't get angry at the cult member. As Steve Hassan says, it isn't his fault!!!

 

[Panda Termint]

Hi Jonathon, welcome to ESMB.

My advice is to find a nice undisturbed opportunity talk openly with your Dad.
He's probably observed similar things about the CofS but, as you undoubtedly know, the taboo on talking about them is ingrained in all scientologists. Bear this in mind and be gentle with it.

Once you start discussing things openly you'll probably find that he already knows how messed up the whole CofS is, it's just a matter of facing up to having been part of the mess. Once he can see that, he's on his way to joining you.

Good Luck!

 

[Outethicsofficer]

Hi my name is Jonathan Turpin.

I was on staff from 2001 to 2003 in JBG Day, and Pretoria, South Africa.
I have done OEC up to vol 6, and bridge up to DRD.

I blew staff in 2003, but not before convicing my father that being on staff was the best thing that one could do with one's life. So he is still on staff and it's seriously bad for his health.

I want to make it right.

My dad is Gordon "Dick" Turpin, ED of Education Alive Africa.

Any help will be appreciated.

Hi and welcome,

Just a couple of things first:
* I note that in 2003 you blew...were you declared?
* Is disconnection an issue...are you in touch with your Dad?

This has a bearing on how easy it will be or not for you to communicate with him.

Cheers
James

 

[VaD]

Jonathan,
I sent you a PM.

But now, after I looked it over again:
1. you named this thread: "I'm hear to save my dad. All help appreciated".
2. You posted in your OP: "So he is still on staff and it's seriously bad for his health".

I'd like to find out - What's the problem?

 

[VaD]

Hi my name is Jonathan Turpin.
I blew staff in 2003, but not before convicing my father that being on staff was the best thing that one could do with one's life.

Check out how it's worded!

 

[skollie]

Hi my name is Jonathan Turpin.

I was on staff from 2001 to 2003 in JBG Day, and Pretoria, South Africa.
I have done OEC up to vol 6, and bridge up to DRD.

I blew staff in 2003, but not before convicing my father that being on staff was the best thing that one could do with one's life. So he is still on staff and it's seriously bad for his health.

I want to make it right.

My dad is Gordon "Dick" Turpin, ED of Education Alive Africa.

Any help will be appreciated.

Hi Jonathan and welcome to ESMB. Robert Horn from Jburg is a member here. You may want to touch base with him.

 

[Robert H]

Hi Jonathan,

I am re-posting the reply I put on my own thread onto this one, where it actually belongs:

How to get your dad out? A difficult question. If he is avoiding the org for fear of getting regged, then you have an opening. He has already started thinking that something is wrong. Use the fact that the way the orgs are operating is totally off-policy. Use that go get him on to the Internet. Maybe start with a few of the posts from Marti's site. That is a good gradient for someone that still thinks the LRH tech is valid. I have had personal success with this approach. Once they are on the internet and looking, it has a snowball effect.

Robert

 

[dexter gelfand]

Hey Jonathan, he listened to you in the first place, didn't he? Keep communicating.

Love, Dex

 

[clamicide]

*sigh*

I don't know if I have any particular great advice, and for that I am sorry. I birthed 2 kids into the cult, and one is still in, so I know the pain of feeling you were doing the right thing and then realizing that you brought someone you love into something evil.

If you are close to your dad...little steps are vital. Keeping the connection. Showing him that life outside of the cult can be beautiful and awesome. Steve Hassan has some great stuff on how this can work. I recommend reading his books. I actually had a wonderful, long conversation with my ex-husband the other day. He's still "in", but I could tell that it was one of the best talks he's had with anybody in a long time. I'd do anything for him...and he knows that...and he knows I'm "out". The cult? Would they do anything for him? well....probably, not so much. I have no instant fix to save him.... perhaps you have a better inroads for immediacy in your case, since you are dealing with your father...but, my ex knows I care about him... (was hard to admit...and we will never be together, but I really would love to see him out of the trap), that I'm getting on with my life and surviving better outside of the cult. He's also offering to write me recommendation letters. I don't know that beating someone over the head with truth will wake them up. It's painful to see them still in the situation that you woke up from...but, definitely let them know you will always be there for them. Listen to, and encourage any of their doubts, without jumping on them lest they feel they need to get defensive and start protecting the cult. Honestly, be human. Humanity is pretty non-existent in cult life...but, we sort of crave it. It might end up being too irresistible...perhaps even more alluring than some illusionary bridge in the sky..........i

 

[Nicole]

Hi my name is Jonathan Turpin.

I was on staff from 2001 to 2003 in JBG Day, and Pretoria, South Africa.
I have done OEC up to vol 6, and bridge up to DRD.

I blew staff in 2003, but not before convicing my father that being on staff was the best thing that one could do with one's life. So he is still on staff and it's seriously bad for his health.

I want to make it right.

My dad is Gordon "Dick" Turpin, ED of Education Alive Africa.

Any help will be appreciated.

Welcome Jonathan,

You want to make it right. I can understand this very good, but in the last time I have learned that you are having the responsibility for your life and your father for his life. That doesn't mean, that you don't think about him and that you don't contact him and tell him the truth, your doubts and that you bother about his health.

BUT it is his life for what HE takes the responsibility.



BTW I am glad that you find a way out of the cult. Enjoy your freedom!



SL

 

[Optamind]

Thanks for the welcome.

To answer the questions:

I have not been declared as yet. I don't know why as it would in fact be on policy to do so. I suspect it's to keep my dad un-enturbulated with family disconnection problems. Maybe my org thinks I'll repent and come back to the fold one day.

I'm still in "good" comm with my dad. We see each other about twice a month for coffee. He is open to other information, but still believes that the org is the ONLY way to "total freedom".

My gripe is that he used to be happy being ED for Education Alive, and he got recognition and felt on purpose. I'm OK with that. Now that he is unhappy, and being abused after 7 years of service, I'm a little pissed. I don't like to see my dad bullied and I want him out of the Church. Furthermore, new facts are coming to light, and people I knew in the org have also left due to strange changes in the books and policies.

I now feel that not helping my dad cognite on the baloney of the Church is a major overt.

 

[Outethicsofficer]

Ok, thanks for answering the questions, and it is good to see you are still in 'comm' with your dad, that is a good starting point.


I am one for a direct in the face approach, I would let him know that it is now time for him to leave staff and that it is very much ok that that happens, that you are here to help him do that. I would not get into how bad the org is or any of that stuff, you are here because you love your dad and he's to come home right now, put him the car and leave. It will be your certainty that this is to happen that will bring it off, the details will fall in behind that.

Go and get your dad.


James

 

[Robert H]

I'm still in "good" comm with my dad. We see each other about twice a month for coffee. He is open to other information, but still believes that the org is the ONLY way to "total freedom".

The one thing that you must realise is that you will put up with just about anything in the name of "Total Freedom". I put up all the shit that I did for 20 years. It was only when I started seeing that the "Bridge" did not go anywhere, that I stopped putting up with the shit.

So one of the big things that you have to work on is convincing him that the "Bridge" is a dead-end. There are tons of OT VIII's stories that you can use where they say exactly that. A good thing to use is Jason Beghe's video. Another one is the truth about LRH's death. A hell of a lot of people start leaving once they find out what happened around LRH's death, and that it did not happen the way they had been told. When you realise that LRH was not the "OT" that he said he was, you start questioning the validity of everything.

 

[Lurker5]

Welcome !

Welcome, Jonathan -

I hope your dad wakes up and gets himself out. Lots of good advice on this thread - better than I could give, other than reiterating - make sure he knows he has a place to go, and you there to help him get his life back - Good luck.

 

[Alanzo]

Thanks for the welcome.

To answer the questions:

I have not been declared as yet. I don't know why as it would in fact be on policy to do so. I suspect it's to keep my dad un-enturbulated with family disconnection problems. Maybe my org thinks I'll repent and come back to the fold one day.

I'm still in "good" comm with my dad. We see each other about twice a month for coffee. He is open to other information, but still believes that the org is the ONLY way to "total freedom".

My gripe is that he used to be happy being ED for Education Alive, and he got recognition and felt on purpose. I'm OK with that. Now that he is unhappy, and being abused after 7 years of service, I'm a little pissed. I don't like to see my dad bullied and I want him out of the Church. Furthermore, new facts are coming to light, and people I knew in the org have also left due to strange changes in the books and policies.

I now feel that not helping my dad cognite on the baloney of the Church is a major overt.

There is a great book by a guy named Stephen Hassan called "Releasing the Bonds".

He has what he calls the "Strategic Interaction Approach".

Here is a video he made on his website discussing this: http://www.freedomofmind.com/stevehassan/steve-hassan-on-the-strategic-interaction-approach-2003/

Here is his book: http://www.amazon.com/Releasing-Bon...8800/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1291734334&sr=8-1

 

[Alanzo]

Ok, thanks for answering the questions, and it is good to see you are still in 'comm' with your dad, that is a good starting point.


I am one for a direct in the face approach, I would let him know that it is now time for him to leave staff and that it is very much ok that that happens, that you are here to help him do that. I would not get into how bad the org is or any of that stuff, you are here because you love your dad and he's to come home right now, put him the car and leave. It will be your certainty that this is to happen that will bring it off, the details will fall in behind that.

Go and get your dad.


James

Also, maybe Illegal Alien has some tips, as he just got his son out.

His thread on ESMB is here:

http://www.forum.exscn.net/showthread.php?t=20989