my first post.

[Free Being Me]

to ESMB Newman. Thank you for de-lurking and starting to share your scientology story. Take your time, I'm looking forward to reading it as it unfolds.

 

[Newman]

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[Stat]

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How goes it?

 

[Winston Smith]

I submitted this reply but it is not showing up so I am submitting again.

Following to my prior entry. I blew from of the Sea Org Base. The decision to leave my wife and daughters in law was the worst thing I have done, and I’ve not been able to tell anybody how it felt. Not anybody that would understand that leaving as I did was the least bad of the choices I had. Someone would’ve need to have been in my skin that day to understand what it all went though my head before deciding to take that action.

Staying would have resulted in me being pilloried and shamed with my sins told in front of all for people to see how “bad and inadequate” I was. These sins would have to be “pulled” in dreaded sec check sessions. Following that I would’ve been incommunicado who knows for how long in a small area of the base from where there was no escape until I finally were shipped off to an RPF.

The final result would be me gone from the life of my girls just the same but with added humiliation and the mental strain of being confined, and interrogated without recourse. I had already gone this route once and promised to myself never to allow it to happen again. So I left.

I had been in Scientology since I was a teenager and always walked the lines they drew for me – which I did not mind because I knew I was a very troubled boy and would’ve given anything for the freedom from my own evils they promised. However, I did see along the way several things that shook my belief and made me wonder.

NEVER ever second guess a decision to leave the Cof$. Give yourself a break from feelings of guilt about your leaving your family also, if your decision meant leaving them to leave the cult. Never question getting as far away from that evil place as possible. You may eventually be able to repair your split with your wife and step kids, just give it time. The cult never had your best interests at heart. Only you can move on with your life, and walking out the door is the most important act you have ever done. Remember that, forever.

 

[Pooks]

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Oh my, Come back and talk. There's a lot of nice people here who have been through what you've been through and worse.

They like to listen and be helpful.

It's a nice bunch really. Sure there's always a few dopes saying stupid shit, but overall, it's a very good group of people.

 

[Red Valiant]

Welcome Newman!

Oh my, Come back and talk. There's a lot of nice people here who have been through what you've been through and worse.

They like to listen and be helpful.

It's a nice bunch really. Sure there's always a few dopes saying stupid shit, but overall, it's a very good group of people.

Patty, don't you think "dopes saying stupid shit" is a bit harsh? "Dopes" implies being IQ challenged or even stupid. It almost sounds like what Admiral Davy M. and Tom Cruise would say in their weird defences of $cn. In Larwance Wright's new book GOING CLEAR, he notes that in his 200+ interviews with ex-$cnios, that all he met were smart, bright, and intelligent people -- just fooled. (not verbadum.)

 

[Dean Blair]

Damn! I read what I wrote and it is quite repetitive. Sorry, I should've read and edit before sending.
Will be more careful next time.

Peace out.

There is really nothing to apologize for. I understood everything you said quite well. Continue when you have some time.