I sure wish I could quit the hate.
- Thread starter DoneDeal
- Start date
DoneDeal
Patron Meritorious
So when push comes to shove which cult do you want to literally starve first?
Do you really care for the diehards?
On Rinders site he has a list of active OT idiots. In my big city there are 5 if I recall correctly. I know 3 of those 5. And I've been gone from staff for 20 years. I could tell you things about each of those people, I won't, but 20 years!!! Fuck. And all that hard core regging...and all that time getting nowhere...and all those arc breaks with my family...all to hurry and save the planet,
scn'ist's fucking suck. All of us
5 ot committee members. What a bunch of total shit.
To you never in's. What the fuck are you doing?
Build a life.
Do you really care for the diehards?
On Rinders site he has a list of active OT idiots. In my big city there are 5 if I recall correctly. I know 3 of those 5. And I've been gone from staff for 20 years. I could tell you things about each of those people, I won't, but 20 years!!! Fuck. And all that hard core regging...and all that time getting nowhere...and all those arc breaks with my family...all to hurry and save the planet,
scn'ist's fucking suck. All of us
5 ot committee members. What a bunch of total shit.
To you never in's. What the fuck are you doing?
Build a life.
PTS
Elliott
I do not feel hate as much as I feel rage. To hate others is to hate myself, and everyone else I ran with was just as much a victim as I was. I still get damned angry that I ever fell in with that lot, and I guess I am angry that they took a young and stupid freshman like me and exploited me for whatever they could get. But not angry with them, angry with myself. And I feel robbed.
Picketing with a few anons and some not so anons awakened all that anger that I thought I'd put behind me. Watching those smug yet vacant faces come and go from the org as I stood there with my picket sign took me back to a place that I never wanted to visit again. Once upon a time I would have called it key-in. It's very hard to look at them and know that once upon a time I was one of them, as smug and supercilious and indoctrinated as any of them. The cult was a nightmare, it set me back, it took my money and gave me damned little in return. I'm not sure the sense of loss will ever subside. But I thought the anger had, it was a shock to me to learn that it was just beneath the surface, even after twenty years.
And honestly, I care less about the people still in than I thought I did. I hope they find their way out, but they'll have to find the path just as I did. They're inside the Truman Show, I'm outside and there is nothing I can do about that. And at least I'm happy now. That's all I can really wish for anyone.
Picketing with a few anons and some not so anons awakened all that anger that I thought I'd put behind me. Watching those smug yet vacant faces come and go from the org as I stood there with my picket sign took me back to a place that I never wanted to visit again. Once upon a time I would have called it key-in. It's very hard to look at them and know that once upon a time I was one of them, as smug and supercilious and indoctrinated as any of them. The cult was a nightmare, it set me back, it took my money and gave me damned little in return. I'm not sure the sense of loss will ever subside. But I thought the anger had, it was a shock to me to learn that it was just beneath the surface, even after twenty years.
And honestly, I care less about the people still in than I thought I did. I hope they find their way out, but they'll have to find the path just as I did. They're inside the Truman Show, I'm outside and there is nothing I can do about that. And at least I'm happy now. That's all I can really wish for anyone.
Sindy
Crusader
Dude, have you had a cocktail or two?
Go find something else to be interested in...that's one way and I can tell you, it really works.
I forced myself (in a way) to come back here because I wanted to stay connected to my friends but really, I don't care about Scientology anymore. I totally have to feign interest.
It's a nice place to be. Do you really want that or something else?
DoneDeal
Patron Meritorious
Dude, have you had a cocktail or two?
Go find something else to be interested in...that's one way and I can tell you, it really works.
I forced myself (in a way) to come back here because I wanted to stay connected to my friends but really, I don't care about Scientology anymore. I totally have to feign interest.
It's a nice place to be. Do you really want that or something else?
Good for you. I'm sure we're exactly the same...go drink something.
PTS
Elliott
Sindy
Crusader
I'm sure we are. I am sure we are....
I was trying to be helpful....maybe I sounded like a preacher? LOL
Can I take everything back and NOT be the end of this thread?
Attachments
Last edited:
DoneDeal
Patron Meritorious
I'm sure we are. I am sure we are....
I was trying to be helpful....maybe I sounded like a preacher? LOL
Can I take everything back and NOT be the end of this thread?
View attachment 6635
so your sayin "Your gonna lose that girl" beatles song thing, pleas pardon for the typing, I'm on a tablet with a keyboard, but the key's are different and small..
I guess I was saying in the op was I really dislike older people leading people astray for their own purposes.
I'm not lying here, but I've tried very hard to not be like them over the years. lol, I sound like a lair, well I was when I was a div 6 or hco or whatnot.
I did learn from that stuff. It pisses me off that it all added up to nothing. And if Rinders numbers are correct. Well.
I come to this site cause I share a reality and to get news on scn downfall. I wish it to fade away fast.
Am I helping the downfall? I don't think so, I'm just a jerk. But at least I know it.
scooter
Gold Meritorious Patron
FWIW, I turn up here just to check the news and see how my friends are.
Every now and then something fires me up and I get active with a "cause" - like the cult trying to lie its way into a nearby community to put a NarCONon there. Or our current PM destroying a Charities Commission that would've inflicted near-fatal damage on Co$ in Oz
Otherwise I just doodle along with my life and have a good time.
I have friends who've recently gone back onto staff ffs - that saddens me. I don't get angry at DM even - He's just a jerk who's having a miserable life despite the power and wealth He has access to.
As for the never-ins I know who haunt these fora, they're folks who give a shit and want a better world. Just like "we" did when we joined up with Hubbard's con game. And it's only lobby groups like us that actually change the world, for better or worse.
I have kids and I want them and their descendants to have a better world than the one I grew up in. I thought that's what we were working on here?
Am I wrong?
Every now and then something fires me up and I get active with a "cause" - like the cult trying to lie its way into a nearby community to put a NarCONon there. Or our current PM destroying a Charities Commission that would've inflicted near-fatal damage on Co$ in Oz
Otherwise I just doodle along with my life and have a good time.
I have friends who've recently gone back onto staff ffs - that saddens me. I don't get angry at DM even - He's just a jerk who's having a miserable life despite the power and wealth He has access to.
As for the never-ins I know who haunt these fora, they're folks who give a shit and want a better world. Just like "we" did when we joined up with Hubbard's con game. And it's only lobby groups like us that actually change the world, for better or worse.
I have kids and I want them and their descendants to have a better world than the one I grew up in. I thought that's what we were working on here?
Am I wrong?
dchoiceisalwaysrs
Gold Meritorious Patron
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JjpNqfKUtfw
times are a changing without a doubt.
weep not Scooter for the following may have some relevance
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kJn_nS_E62k
offered as a perspective not an answer
times are a changing without a doubt.
weep not Scooter for the following may have some relevance
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kJn_nS_E62k
offered as a perspective not an answer
AnonKat
Crusader
listen to music
[video=youtube;VK9qfVQ4Z04]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VK9qfVQ4Z04[/video]
The Anabaptist Jacques
Crusader
FWIW, I turn up here just to check the news and see how my friends are.
Every now and then something fires me up and I get active with a "cause" - like the cult trying to lie its way into a nearby community to put a NarCONon there. Or our current PM destroying a Charities Commission that would've inflicted near-fatal damage on Co$ in Oz
Otherwise I just doodle along with my life and have a good time.
I have friends who've recently gone back onto staff ffs - that saddens me. I don't get angry at DM even - He's just a jerk who's having a miserable life despite the power and wealth He has access to.
As for the never-ins I know who haunt these fora, they're folks who give a shit and want a better world. Just like "we" did when we joined up with Hubbard's con game. And it's only lobby groups like us that actually change the world, for better or worse.
I have kids and I want them and their descendants to have a better world than the one I grew up in. I thought that's what we were working on here?
Am I wrong?
I think that's how many of us feel.
But reading the board can be like tearing a scab of your skin---you think you're speeding up the healing but you're just opening the wound again.
So some people get angry or enraged or even just cry again.
That's why I think humour is so important for this board.
And the beautiful or inspiring music videos.
I always say to people that it is important to laugh at yourself.
And if you can't laugh at yourself then call me, I'll laugh at you.
The Anabaptist Jacques
I told you I was trouble
Suspended animation
I wish I could lose the grief which even after all these years (of disconnection) still hits me every now and again like a ton of bricks ... but I've come a long way through it and I know that staying 'in the moment' is the best way for me to cope and mostly I do.
I no longer check ESMB for the reasons I first joined ... I just love the people here, you have helped me so much.
I do seem to have developed a bit of a 'trust issue' and have a strong urge to sabotage relationships (friendships) in the real world before they get too much for me. I know I do it, I can feel myself looking for an escape route (lol) ... but I can relax here and just let things flow over me without the need to try and push people away.
It's silly really, but true (and I hope you didn't mind me throwing this post down on this thread DoneDeal, but it felt right, so I did).
I no longer check ESMB for the reasons I first joined ... I just love the people here, you have helped me so much.
I do seem to have developed a bit of a 'trust issue' and have a strong urge to sabotage relationships (friendships) in the real world before they get too much for me. I know I do it, I can feel myself looking for an escape route (lol) ... but I can relax here and just let things flow over me without the need to try and push people away.
It's silly really, but true (and I hope you didn't mind me throwing this post down on this thread DoneDeal, but it felt right, so I did).
Cat's Squirrel
Gold Meritorious Patron
I told you I was trouble
Suspended animation
The_Fixer
Class Clown
Gotta confess. You are one of my favourite people here. The way you write, they way you express, you are a real down to earth lady. Always look forward to your classy posts. And your delicious sense of humour.
The Anabaptist Jacques
Crusader
Panda Termint
Cabal Of One
She's trouble! 