Repost.
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Flubbard Bulletin
To: All Orgs
From: El Gone Flubbard
Re: ASHO Priority Clearing Methodology
All orgs are aware of the importance of helping to "clear the planet". So it is that we MUST also strive to do so from within the orgs in order to lead by example. This bulletin is of special interest to all Auditors and Ethics personnel.
Effective immediately, this executive bulletin order will take effect on the subject of the ASHO levels and positions of all orgs. A new enturbulance has been recently discovered, called ASHO: Limited Entheta, in which ASHO members experience enturbulation and a condition of "doubt". In the interest of the acronyms that we all love, this condition shall be refered to in all Church documentation hereafter as "ASHO(LE)"
When an ASHO(LE) is suspected in an Org, the following steps should be taken immediately by auditors and/or Ethics Officers;
1) If a member is suspected of being an ASHO(LE), the newly develpoed tech (see attatched) for "clearing" the doubt from said ASHO(LE) is to remove the suspected member from the lines and process them by applying the "Enhanced Nether E-Meter Analysis" (ENEMA).
2) ENEMA should be applied to the ASHO(LE) at regular intervals over a number of hours and continue to be run until the ASHO(LE) is in a relaxed enough state to release all withholds. It is even possible, we expect, ro run ENEMA on an ASHO(LE) to the condition of Clear! After all, every auditor knows what a Big Win(tm) it would be to produce the state of a Clear ASHO(LE) with just a SINGLE tech application! However, one should be wary for the possibility of an overt ASHO(LE) at all times.
3) While running ENEMA, the auditor or Ethics officer, should be on the watch for Conscious Reactive Applied Phenomena (CRAP) in which the enturbulated ASHO(LE) regresses during the ENEMA run to the reactive mind. It has been shown (though rigourous scientific research, naturally), that running ENEMA on a ASHO(LE) can produce a great deal of CRAP. Follow-through Arrestive Reactive Thoughts (FARTs), many also be encountered when the ASHO(LE) believes they have a withold of substance, but in reality, it is gone in a momentay puff of non-substance. Just prior to the FART is a point of the greatest condition of "doubt"
4)The auditor or Ethics Officer can also expect to encounter a "cross condition" during the rigourous, exhausive ENEMA processing, wherein the enturbulated ASHO(LE) wil release witholds of "Clear-CRAP". this is when the auditor or Ethics officer knows that the ENEMA is being applied correctly, as the ASHO(LE) is in the final phases of releasing the last of it's enturbulance and ridding themselves of entheta.
In the case of the above ENEMA rundown, if the ASHO(LE) does not produce Clear results, yet seems to have become unenturbulated while generating CRAP, route personnel to OSA for reassignment in PR.
Further, if the ASHO(LE) continues to exhibit enturbulace AND does not produce Clear, Ethics is avised to instruct the ASHO(LE) to refrain from eating cheap microwave burritos for one week and route to RPF (no one will want him or her sleeping/working in the same room anyway).
If a ASHO(LE) *must* be declared un unsalvagable Sh*t Pucker (SP), trapped in enturbulation and unable to expand him or herself, do NOT proceed to route out the SP at your level. An ASHO(LE) SP can only be routed out in the presence of Ethics staffer, Keitaro Yevon (KY) to ensure orderly, smooth and frictionless ejection of an ASHO(LE) SP. Remember: K.Y. MUST BE PRESENT WHEN ROUTING AN ASHO(LE)
All Orgs are expected to wear their CRAP hats immediately. I'm wearing mine! Remember that a Cleared ASHO(LE) is a Big Win and an asset to all of us.
to the boards, DB! 
(never called someone that in a friendly manner, before. 
Great to have you here and great first post! I'm glad you find that all the different and diverse tones stimulating and thought provoking as indeed I always say we can't all be 'nice' all the time as this wouldn't be normal. I'm looking forward to reading your stories and getting to know you better. 
Look, you've made me go off topic again. 
