NEW - Old-timer Jacki Edwards speaking out.

[lkwdblds]

My story is really quite dull: By some miracle I became one of the most highly trained people on the planet having done all the admin and tech training available at the time. Throw into the mix all the Missionaire training, Esto training etc, etc. I would say that my involvement was significant. Factually I enjoyed all of it. I had a ball. There were bad times of course but they were just experiences in what was often a totally insane environment being run by lunatics.


Most of the time I had fun and was doing what I loved most: auditing and cs'ing.


My departure was singularly undramatic. I parted company with the the place because they were going to remove me from post and assign me the RPF because I was in disagreement with the instructions that I had been given from Flag. At the time I was the Senior CS for Africa and had informed them that I had no intention of carrying out their instructions. This was not the first time I had actively disobeyed and refused to co-operate but I knew that it was to be the last time. I had recently returned after 9 months on Flag where the impact of the Happiness Rundown was starting to bite. This was the major schism of the early to mid 80's. Frankly the writing was on the wall.


The influence of the illiterate Commodore's Messenger Org was tangible and inescapable so the decision to leave was very easy.


I was not angry and upset and never felt betrayed. Probably because I knew that they could not take anything away from me. I had the training, I knew what I knew and nothing they did or threatened to do was going to change that. For some reason they took a long time to declare me and to this day I have never received any official notification from the Church.



I was prompted to see if there was any meaningful way I could contribute after 28 years because I have been contacted over the years by ex colleagues from the Church asking for help to get out of the C of S or help to come to terms with being out of the group.


The most recent contact was from someone who was very dear to me and their situation is quite upsetting to me. He has become disillusioned and wants to leave but is very afraid of the consequences of not having The Bridge available to him.



There is actually a lot to say and I would struggle to know where to begin in telling my story because it is not a horror story.


It always amazed me that the people in the Church were so tied into the dogma. From the very beginning I was acutely aware of the nonsense and often blatant contradictions. One of my favourites examples of complete bull@@t came from the my family circle: When she was sick it was because I was suppressive and when I was sick it was also because I was suppressive. At the time she had attained the state of Clear and had extensive training while I was still a novice. I knew that both statements could not be true: One of them might be true or neither. I later made up my own mind and concluded that the person in question was merely on a trip of their own still dramatising a case that they should have had had!!!


If anyone has any questions I will endeavour to answer as best I can.


This could be fun!!


Jacki Edwards

What a sane and straightforward post of an exit story! It isn't dull at all and is refreshing to read because it is written in a "matter of fact" manner without a lot of drama! It's actually nice to hear that someone left C of S without having their mind and emotions out of kilter.

As far as people being afraid of the consequences of not having the Bridge available to them, for me and many others, there cames a point when we realized that what we were looking for spiritually could not possible be found in today's C of S.

The key things that many of us went for in our Intro lectures were found not exist once one's "honeymoon" period as a "newbie" was over. A good example is the dictum, "If it isn't true for you, it isn't true." This is a very appealing bit of data and most likely would have to exist as a major datum in any organization which truly led one to spiritual freedom. If you attempt to use this datum inside the C of S you will be busted and ultimately thrown out. Your own story is a good example of this!

There are dozens of such pieces of tech, many mentioned in Scientology's introductory phases and none of which are allowed to be applied once your are fully on board in the church. A similar item has to do with who your friends are. If friends of many decades dump you immediately if you have a disagreement with C of S, then they weren't really ever one's friends.

Once these types of things are perceived and sorted out out, one sees that pursuing the Bridge inside C of S can't possibly lead one to spiritual salvation and one stops worrying about not having access to the Bridge as delivered inside C of S. For those who want to be connected with the Bridge, there are a goodly number of practitioners available in the field.
Lakey