Scientologists, Ex's and Control

[Gottabrain]

A few days ago I was called by a friend of a friend of a friend to help rescue a cockatoo with Beak & Feather disease. Weird - it was the same bird I had saved over Christmas, when it was on my back porch dying of a bad bacterial infection.
What were the odds?

The bird hated me then and was terrified of me - I assumed for catching it and keeping it inside when it wanted to be out. But it was infectious and dying. So I treated it for a few weeks and when it was healthy enough, I let it go. He was just a baby then.

He ended up just 2 kilometers away, climbing up & down a tree to where a kindly couple fed him. He couldn't fly.

When we caught him, I found he was very sick with a bacterial infection - but the reason he couldn't fly is some jerkoff had clipped his flight feathers, apparently to make a pet out of him. Amazing he'd gotten away and survived at all.

So - I have him again. He's still terrified of me , but doesn't seem to hate me.

It occurred to me that maybe I'd exercised too much control last time around. He clearly wants to spend his nights sleeping outside the cage, at the highest point of the room. I can provide that, make him a parrot stand for that while he's recovering.

But I didn't do it last time around.

So my little friend is teaching me that not only animals, but people get very upset when I don't respect their intentions and listen to them about their needs and comforts. I learned to be controlling when I was in Scientology. It's a very poor trait and I've offended many with it. My little friend is helping me change that.

 

[Mystic]

Oh great story, Gottabrain!

 

[jenni with an eye]

So my little friend is teaching me that not only animals, but people get very upset when I don't respect their intentions and listen to them about their needs and comforts. I learned to be controlling when I was in Scientology. It's a very poor trait and I've offended many with it. My little friend is helping me change that.

My grandfather used to say "If you learn something new each day...then it is a good day".

I try to do that.

Today is a good day

 

[namaste]

Wow. How awesome that you were able to realize that.

I think the bird is lucky to have you for a friend.

In Scientoloy it's called "being OT" and "making it go right" (forcing things, creatures, and people to your unbending will). If they don't comply then possibly your Tone 40 intention was out. Or maybe it's something else. All very confusing.

 

[I told you I was trouble]

I agree Gotta ... control was about 99% of what scientology was really all about though disguised as philosophy, and I feel many of us are just sooooo over it and don't necessarily wish to 'taught' anything now unless there is respect and genuine caring along with the lesson.

Some people feel that they are on this earth to teach everyone else how they should be (and it often feels like attempted control to me not to mention extreme arrogance) and it annoys the hell out of me recently, but I realise it is probably a phase through which I need to pass and then relax and move on from, and I will when I'm ready.

Lol.

I give as much freedom and choice to the animals I live with as is safe (for all) I love them all dearly and I want them to feel they are free to make their own mistakes as they seem to be the only ones we truly learn from and they are so bright and full of love that I feel it is working out well, but I think they know that I am watching to catch them if they do happen to trip and fall though I try to be discreet about it.

That bird must secretly be in love with you (it keeps hunting you out!).

 

[Good twin]

There's a saying, I believe it's buddhist, that goes something like, "When you are ready for the lesson, the teacher arrives".

I think you should name the bird "Kismet". It was your time to learn.

 

[namaste]

I agree Gotta ... control was about 99% of what scientology was really all about though disguised as philosophy, and I feel many of us are just sooooo over it and don't necessarily wish to 'taught' anything now unless there is respect and genuine caring along with the lesson.

Some people feel that they are on this earth to teach everyone else how they should be (and it often feels like attempted control to me not to mention extreme arrogance) and it annoys the hell out of me recently, but I realise it is probably a phase through which I need to pass and then relax and move on from, and I will when I'm ready.

Lol.

I give as much freedom and choice to the animals I live with as is safe (for all) I love them all dearly and I want them to feel they are free to make their own mistakes as they seem to be the only ones we truly learn from and they are so bright and full of love that I feel it is working out well, but I think they know that I am watching to catch them if they do happen to trip and fall though I try to be discreet about it.

That bird must secretly be in love with you (it keeps hunting you out!).

I know what you mean.

 

[Petey C]

Great story, Gottabrain. Hope the parrot survives and makes its peace with you.

 

[Ordo Xenous]

TRs are mainly a thing for audition and completely irrelevant outside of session. People get very freaked out when you start controlling their body.

I now mainly use TRs to lie with a straight face to clients I don't like. It's amazing the things you can make people believe when you look serious. I don't do it to scam them, I just do it for laughs.

Yeah... I'm a bad person.

 

[Lynn Fountain Campbell]

There's a saying, I believe it's buddhist, that goes something like, "When you are ready for the lesson, the teacher arrives".

I think you should name the bird "Kismet". It was your time to learn.

There's also the quote: “If you love somebody, let them go. If they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were.”

<3
Lynn

 

[Auditor's Toad]

There's also the quote: “If you love somebody, let them go. If they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were.”

<3
Lynn

My X had a slightly different version of that :

“If you love something, let it go. If it returnd, it loves you.
If it doesn't return, hunt it down and kill it.”

 

[I told you I was trouble]

There's a saying, I believe it's buddhist, that goes something like, "When you are ready for the lesson, the teacher arrives".

I think you should name the bird "Kismet". It was your time to learn.

Now that is a saying I can embrace.

 

[Gottabrain]

There's a saying, I believe it's buddhist, that goes something like, "When you are ready for the lesson, the teacher arrives".

I think you should name the bird "Kismet". It was your time to learn.

Kismet is a GREAT name! Thanks! He is Kismet now.

Here is a pic of him from last year, when he was just a baby and would hide in the Xmas tree. He was very sick and nutty then, disoriented, kept flying into the ceiling.



I tried a stand, and I tried the Christmas tree, but he still wants to just hang out on top of the drapes. So I have plastic on the drapes and newspaper beneath to catch his poos and that's working out okay.

He's not as afraid now that I'm just letting him do his thing. He's beginning to play games with me (i.e., if he turns completely around, so do I, he swoops his head down, so do I - then he imitates me. ha ha)

Kismet is getting well fast, wants to get out and join the flocks, but the clipped flight feathers makse this problematic. He's also still a bit nutty. He is acting like he's a possum, walking, moving and climbing like one. The people who clipped him must have had him in a cage where he kept observing one. He's terrified of my cage, and that's unusual for me - all birds I've had liked sleeping in it at night and thought it was like a nest, as long as they were able to get out first thing in the morning. Even wild ones.

He still gets a bit cold so he's still inside. He doesn't have all his feathers because of the Beak & Feather disease (incurable), plus still a bit sick, but in a few days, he'll be fine as far as that goes.

I'm open for suggestions - it will be months before his flight feathers grow in again but he wants to get out (though he's not frantic about it). I'm concerned he'll try to live under the house and get sick all over again. Not a good environment. Plus he probably won't survive the cold here in a month.

 

[uniquemand]

Pets can teach us a great deal about ourselves and our relationships. They are also good examples of what a person is like who can't use language.

 

[Gottabrain]

Pets can teach us a great deal about ourselves and our relationships. They are also good examples of what a person is like who can't use language.

Yeh, animals are amazing, aren't they?

This one is wild so must be released eventually unless I can't get him well enough to survive on his own. But he hates cages so he'll probably hate an aviary so I don't really know what to do.

I need to understand him better. He may have brain damage from being sick as a chick. He may have been booted out of his flock for that. If he can be happy in an aviary with other Beak & Feathers because he'd have his own sort of flock that way, then that would work out fine. Either way, it seems I'll have to keep him in a heated aviary for the worst of the winter months until his feathers grow in. He needs bird company and is happiest when other birds are around and there are other B&F birds my friend keeps that can join him. Her aviaries are full, so I'll have to finish building mine ASAP.

 

[uniquemand]

I have a cat who will NOT take direction (imagine that). My other cat follows rules without any trouble. The kitty who is a pain was raised in a "cattery", whereas the one who follows rules was raised by me.

I think the difference is individual attention of someone who doesn't see the cat as a broodmare.

 

[Gottabrain]

I have a cat who will NOT take direction (imagine that). My other cat follows rules without any trouble. The kitty who is a pain was raised in a "cattery", whereas the one who follows rules was raised by me.

I think the difference is individual attention of someone who doesn't see the cat as a broodmare.

Interesting about the cats. Yeh, whoever trapped Kismet and clipped him to make him a caged pet was a real jerk. It's so hard to rehabilitate mistreated animals. Sometimes it takes years to rehabilitate the parrots so they are confident and have their proper instincts back so they can survive and be happy in the wild again. Many can never be rehabilitated.

Well, I think I've made my decision here. Finish the aviary and keep it heated at night in the winter and go adopt two of my friend's Beak & Feathers so they have a little flock together. Then if he seems okay and healthy and has more feathers, I'll try releasing him back to the wild when our winter is over.

 

[Petey C]

I...Sometimes it takes years to rehabilitate the parrots so they are confident and have their proper instincts back so they can survive and be happy in the wild again. Many can never be rehabilitated.

Well, I think I've made my decision here. Finish the aviary and keep it heated at night in the winter and go adopt two of my friend's Beak & Feathers so they have a little flock together. Then if he seems okay and healthy and has more feathers, I'll try releasing him back to the wild when our winter is over.

I was going to say what you said in your first paragraph. Give Kismet some time and maybe he will tell you what to do. The flock idea is also a good thing, and the heated aviary. Kind of like an ESMB for wounded parrots.

I have a lot to do with dogs. Right now we're looking after an exceptionally bright but constantly hyper-vigilant little kelpie/blue heeler cross who was clearly very badly treated in her early life. Her current humans have devoted years of sensible and loving care to her which has made her reasonably OK with other people and dogs now, but she will always be damaged and spooked.

Peggy

 

[Gottabrain]

I was going to say what you said in your first paragraph. Give Kismet some time and maybe he will tell you what to do. The flock idea is also a good thing, and the heated aviary. Kind of like an ESMB for wounded parrots.

I have a lot to do with dogs. Right now we're looking after an exceptionally bright but constantly hyper-vigilant little kelpie/blue heeler cross who was clearly very badly treated in her early life. Her current humans have devoted years of sensible and loving care to her which has made her reasonably OK with other people and dogs now, but she will always be damaged and spooked.

Peggy

Hi Peggy,

Great idea. I really haven't given him enough time. Again, this is an exercise for me in "good control" (not Scn's concept of it!) and patience is part of that, otherwise, how can I decide what another living thing needs or wants for him or her? I have to let him decide and let me know and pay close attention.

Thanks, Peggy.

 

[Petey C]

Hi Peggy,

Great idea. I really haven't given him enough time. Again, this is an exercise for me in "good control" (not Scn's concept of it!) and patience is part of that, otherwise, how can I decide what another living thing needs or wants for him or her? I have to let him decide and let me know and pay close attention.

Funny, isn't it, how we were all so incredibly BUSY in Scn (I was in the SO) doing SFA. It was hard to learn to let natural time take over once I was out, as I was so used to the NOWNOWNOW thing. You and Kismet are gonna be fine.