Soulmates

[Lone Star]

I read a study that showed the majority of successful, happy, long-term marriages have a fair amount of distance and independent time away from each other. That fact completely discredits many of the Romeo and Juliet fantasy stories. One soul-mate for everyone, a perfect person for everyone, is, IMHO, a myth and a fairy tale.

On the other hand, a loving spouse that is a good friend is not only indispensable in child-rearing years, but even more important in senior years. Children can fill some of the gaps for social, entertainment and care, but a senior citizen can become a burden on children who are already pressed for time to raise their own children, care for their own spouses and put in a lot of hours working. Every activity is more fun when it is shared, and seniors have time for those activities.

Seniors with spouses are healthier and happier, too.

Romeo and Juliet were only 14. They just wanted to get their freak on. Shakespeare just flowered it up a lot. Romeo just wanted to "de-flower".

 

[JustSheila]

lol! Hormones can convince anyone of true love at that age.

<-------- am glad mine have settled down without disappearing completely!

 

[JustSheila]

How exciting was it for them? Sneaking around to smooch behind all their friends' and families' backs, climbing balconies, threat of death to bond them, in love with the enemy.... all the drama, all the devotion, all the attraction, why, must be true love!

But, rilly? Drama doesn't mean love at all. Excitement, risk and sexual attraction are close cousins though. Get that adrenaline going and the hormones sparked up and people will risk their lives just to be together.

Kinda silly. At 14, mom and dad would have said to wait, there are more suitable, less risky relationships just around the corner. Youth has no patience at all.

 

[Enthetan]

Romeo and Juliet were only 14. They just wanted to get their freak on. Shakespeare just flowered it up a lot. Romeo just wanted to "de-flower".

In the past, it was common for girls to get married in their teens. Particularly when virginity at time of marriage was more important.

 

[strativarius]

Relationships are frequently more Troilus and Criseyde and less Romeo and Juliet.

Edit: I mean Chaucer's Troilus and Criseyde, not Shakespeare's.

 

[I told you I was trouble]

Yup. That's what happened to me.


No. I was seriously messed up, with FOUR crippling syndromes that meant I never had a chance for a normal life.

Not changing myself would have meant continuing to be frustrated and unhappy. (I still am both those things, but less so now.)


Positive thinking only goes so far. Sometimes you simply CAN'T get what you want so matter HOW MUCH you want it.

I'll believe I have a good life when it IS good and I'll be grateful when I have something to be grateful ABOUT. Anything else is just delusion and only pretending things are better.


You're putting the cart before the horse.

The problem with the above is if you look at the world as it really is, and decide it's not a wonderful place, someone will come along and say "see -- it's become bad BECAUSE you are looking at it that way". There's no way to disprove that because you would have to have both a positive and negative outlook and compare the outcomes.

There have been plenty of times when I have seriously expected the best and was only disappointed. The latest was this date I had -- everything was going along quite well when all of a sudden he decided he was no longer interested -- very frustrating!

Helena

Helena,

Tell you what, instead of asking for "input" regarding your issues then rejecting most of it outright, try telling us exactly what you want us to say ... it may save everyone a lot of time and energy.

 

[SPsince83]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uxzhtZsOaik

"Too much of everything is just enough..." - Bob Weir

"It takes dynamite to get me off"


Bob Weir

 

[strativarius]

"It takes dynamite to get me off"

Bob Weir

Might as well post the whole goddam song eh, the lyrics are simply brilliant IMO!

"I Need A Miracle"

I need a woman 'bout twice my age
A lady of nobility, gentility and rage
Splendor in the dark, lightning on the draw
We'll go right through the book and break each and every law.

I got a feeling and it won't go away, oh no
Just one thing then I'll be ok
I need a miracle every day.

I need a woman 'bout twice my height
Statuesque, raven-dressed, a goddess of the night.
Her secret incantations, a candle burning blue
We'll consult the spirits maybe they'll know what to do.

And it's real and it won't go away, oh no
I can't get around and I can't run away
I need a miracle every day.

I need a woman 'bout twice my weight
A ton of fun who packs a gun with all her other freight
Find her in a sideshow leave her in L.A.
Ride her like a surfer running on a tidal wave.

And it's real, believe what I say, yeah
Just one thing I got to say
I need a miracle every day.

It takes dynamite to get me off
Too much of everything is just enough
One more thing I just got to say
I need a miracle every day,
I need a miracle every day,
I need a miracle every day, (got to be the only way)
I need a miracle

 

[SPsince83]

Might as well post the whole goddam song eh, the lyrics are simply brilliant IMO!

"I Need A Miracle"

I need a woman 'bout twice my age
A lady of nobility, gentility and rage
Splendor in the dark, lightning on the draw
We'll go right through the book and break each and every law.

I got a feeling and it won't go away, oh no
Just one thing then I'll be ok
I need a miracle every day.

I need a woman 'bout twice my height
Statuesque, raven-dressed, a goddess of the night.
Her secret incantations, a candle burning blue
We'll consult the spirits maybe they'll know what to do.

And it's real and it won't go away, oh no
I can't get around and I can't run away
I need a miracle every day.

I need a woman 'bout twice my weight
A ton of fun who packs a gun with all her other freight
Find her in a sideshow leave her in L.A.
Ride her like a surfer running on a tidal wave.

And it's real, believe what I say, yeah
Just one thing I got to say
I need a miracle every day.

It takes dynamite to get me off
Too much of everything is just enough
One more thing I just got to say
I need a miracle every day,
I need a miracle every day,
I need a miracle every day, (got to be the only way)
I need a miracle

Yeah, I was just playing duelling quotes. I like to do it off the top of my head just to see how far it will go. This round might have been only Bob Weir songs. Kind of like the two word post thread. Maybe I'll start one. Stay tuned for updates.

 

[SPsince83]

In the past, it was common for girls to get married in their teens. Particularly when virginity at time of marriage was more important.

Particularly when so many women died in childbirth. But her's a question for all who might moralize against young love - How old were YOU? I mean with a contemporary, not if you were abused by an elder before the age of consent, but with your peers?

I'll go first - 12 for oral, 14 for copulation all with girls my own age who were equally willing

 

[hummingbird]

Particularly when so many women died in childbirth. But her's a question for all who might moralize against young love - How old were YOU? I mean with a contemporary, not if you were abused by an elder before the age of consent, but with your peers?

I'll go first - 12 for oral, 14 for copulation all with girls my own age who were equally willing

Okay, I'll step up to the plate. I was 14 and it was with my 17-year-old boyfriend. I remember a sense of relief that I finally knew what it really was all about. And yeah, it was pleasurable. That's why I wasn't all "you must be a virgin when you marry" with my two daughters. You take precautions, you value yourself, and you'll be fine. It's better to be healthy (mentally) about it than all strung out on cultural mores. I'm in my 60s and have no regrets. Well, about that at any rate. Now, about my involvement in the cult....

And here's something on topic. I met my current husband when I was in my 50s. Don't know if we are "soulmates," but he makes me laugh, is great company, and makes me a better person. Lots of other good qualities. However, we went to high school together, and were acquainted back then. We often remark that if we had hooked up back then, we would have gone down in flames. We were too different then. We're nicely compatible now. Odd how it all turns out.

 

[strativarius]

Okay, I'll step up to the plate. I was 14 and it was with my 17-year-old boyfriend.

I think more 14 year-old girls have had full penetrative sex than our society cares to know about. Speaking personally, although the idea of jailbait does have its erotic appeal, I was 17 before I lost my virginity, and that was probably the age of the youngest female I have ever had sex with. I have certainly never had sex with a virgin, and the thought of doing that gives me the creeps. The emotionally-loaded circumstances and the stress, not to mention the blood and gore, is more than enough to put me right off the idea.

Give me a 30+ milf who has been around the block a couple of times and is laid-back (no pun intended) about the whole proceedings anyday.

My £0.02.

 

[Lone Star]

In the past, it was common for girls to get married in their teens. Particularly when virginity at time of marriage was more important.

Why hell yeah that's the way it was! In my day women didn't wait until they were in their 30s to get married and start having kids. There was none of this, "Oh I want to start a career and find out who I am first" bullshit! No!

We guys in our 20s got married to girls at 13 or 14. Had 'em barefoot, pregnant, and in the kitchen by 15. Had 'em spittin' out babies every year until they were 25.

That's the way it was and we liked it!!!

 

[Cat's Squirrel]

I think more 14 year-old girls have had full penetrative sex than our society cares to know about. Speaking personally, although the idea of jailbait does have its erotic appeal, I was 17 before I lost my virginity, and that was probably the age of the youngest female I have ever had sex with. I have certainly never had sex with a virgin, and the thought of doing that gives me the creeps. The emotionally-loaded circumstances and the stress, not to mention the blood and gore, is more than enough to put me right off the idea.

Give me a 30+ milf who has been around the block a couple of times and is laid-back (no pun intended) about the whole proceedings anyday.

My £0.01.

I appreciate your sensibilities Stratty, but someone's got to though, haven't they? Everybody was a virgin once. The one thing we're probably both agreed on is that the first time is important.

 

[strativarius]

I appreciate your sensibilities Stratty, but someone's got to though, haven't they? Everybody was a virgin once. The one thing we're probably both agreed on is that the first time is important.

Yes, someone's got to, it's just not going to be me. Yes, the first time is important, more so for a female than a male I would suggest.

 

[Lone Star]

I have to admit, whenever I read or hear about an attractive 20 to 30 something female teacher getting caught having sex with a 16 to 18 year old male student....well I think it's hot. So shoot me. I'm bad.

Of course I'm mostly jealous because it never happened to me.

And in High School I had a very hot English teacher named Mrs. Robinson.

"So here's to you Mrs. Robinson...."

(Actually at the time she was a "Miss". Not married yet. But it fits the meter to sing Mrs.)

 

[Cat's Squirrel]

Yes, someone's got to, it's just not going to be me.

Fair enough, and I think I would agree. I'd be uncomfortable with the idea too.

Yes, the first time is important, more so for a female than a male I would suggest.

Well, maybe true for some (or even most?) men but Les Dawson (RIP) would disagree there. I remember him writing about his early life in Manchester for a magazine article, and he said he lost his virginity by being seduced at 17 by a bus conductress. He described it as "an appalling experience - I felt I had been violated". It apparently took him a long time to get over it enough to start going out with girls (again?).

 

[SPsince83]

I have to admit, whenever I read or hear about an attractive 20 to 30 something female teacher getting caught having sex with a 16 to 18 year old male student....well I think it's hot. So shoot me. I'm bad.

Of course I'm mostly jealous because it never happened to me.

And in High School I had a very hot English teacher named Mrs. Robinson.

"So here's to you Mrs. Robinson...."

(Actually at the time she was a "Miss". Not married yet. But it fits the meter to sing Mrs.)

There is no time in my life from 8th Grade to date that my Ideal Gurl wouldn't be a 22-50 year old English teacher with a pretty face and a nice rack. Whaddaya, NUTS? And I'm definitely not excluding the over 50 gurlz either. I bin a granny humper for a couple decades now,

 

[The Anabaptist Jacques]

My wife and I are not exactly soulmates.

We're more like cellmates.

It's a crazy world and we've done our best.

The Anabaptist Jacques

 

[Pheryn]

Particularly when so many women died in childbirth. But her's a question for all who might moralize against young love - How old were YOU? I mean with a contemporary, not if you were abused by an elder before the age of consent, but with your peers?

I'll go first - 12 for oral, 14 for copulation all with girls my own age who were equally willing

Alrighty... I'm not sure the exact age I began 'messing around', but, I would say around 12-13. I didn't fully lose my virginity until I was 16 and it was with a 19/20 yr old guy I was dating. This is going to sound strange and maybe even awful, but, it's the truth. I wasn't in love with him and he wasn't in love with me -- we were good friends who dated occasionally. I didn't want it to be 'special'. I didn't think my first time could be special with all the horror stories of pain, bleeding, and awkwardness of it all -- or suffering the heartbreak that would sure follow, as my friends had. So, I went kinda casual with it. I felt I was ready and he was totally fine with it. He still attempted to make it special, but, ya know....he'd been drinking a little and frankly it was a fiasco. He was having a little trouble getting himself ready. *ahem*

I don't regret it, either. I was a lot more relaxed, confident, and able to enjoy/appreciate it when I had sex with someone I really cared for later.


A little anecdote to the story I just remembered...turns out the guy (my friend) who took my virginity actually had a girlfriend I was unaware of. That was the end of the friendship I had with him, felt pretty awful that he had lied and cheated on his girlfriend with me. Cut to 7 or 8 years later, my mom had gone somewhere and called me to tell me she had met some people who were wanting a kitten. We had a few kittens that we were trying to find homes for and so she directed them to our house and was giving me a heads up. Yup, you guessed it. In walks the guy who de-flowered me...with his mom and girlfriend (the very same girl he had cheated on). I wish I could have taken a picture of his face when he saw me at the door...or even mine. Was pretty priceless....and awkward. I bet his girlfriend had A LOT of questions about why he was so fidgety and sweaty...and why he quickly ushered her and his mom out without getting a kitten!