The best post I ever did on ESMB was this:
http://www.forum.exscn.net/showpost.php?p=416537&postcount=60
All told there were 64 posts on this thread total. No more than a few thousand views. I don't know the exact number.
The thread started off slowly and gently petered out.
Had I posted it on the Apollo thread, it would have been viewed by maybe 500 viewers a day.
It is a simple matter of leverage. If I'm going to spend time authoring something, I hope lots of people read it.
So I'm going to post it here, now:
We ran our kids on CCHs. Two of them got the grades while sitting on a towel at the beach. Our youngest daughter was in 6th grade before she realized that not everybody knows what an ARC X is. When she was 15, she did the codes course at Alan Walter's center in Big D. She currently lives a few miles away, is finishing grad school, and buying her first condo in the City. We text, e mail, Skype, see each other and the whole dam family frequently (barbecues, surfing, skiing, beach bonfires etc)
Each of the kids was unique. One of the boys I took up 2500 feet in Yosemite (the twin sisters climb) when he was 12. This boy barely made it out of high school. Now he works at ebay (with a high school diploma) pulling in mid 6 figures as an alpha geek.
The younger daughter had her SAG and AFTRA cards when she was 4. She worked steadily until she got into high school.
High school tended to get in the way of her horseback riding and social life, but she was usually one of the smartest kids in the GATE classes. She hated school until she went to college.
All of the kids learned skills that most farm kids know, how to drive at age 3, put on a roof, paint a fence or wall, groom a horse, pick apricots.
These are some of the rules that we (the parents lived by):
Live your life in such a way that you won't mind when an identity of yours is copied.
Have you ever noticed how quickly kids copy others? We know of a family that on the outside appears to be a normal hard working respectful group. But just listen to their parents make excuses
Run good control (start, change, stop)
Read to them from day one. Fun stories. Enjoy what you read, so that they, in turn, will enjoy what they read.
Be honest. If, for instance, you did dope, don't lie about it.
Don't create their personality and future for them. By this I mean, "You're going to college and become a doctor, like me"
Have animals that you love around.
Have trees and flowers.
A trampoline is great to have in the yard (if it can be supervised).
Take your kids with you to work, to play, to do the laundry, the dishes, to weed the garden, to surf the net, when you travel.
Realize that there is often someone looking over your shoulder who could, if they had kids, do a better job than you. When they have kids, they will wonder where you ever got the energy and patience.
Find out their interests and desires and help them explore/get them. Don't do it for them.
Don't look at the child as the body; see the god in disguise. Don't artificially limit them by or because of their body's age.
If they hate their school, help them, find a school that better tailors itself to your child's needs.
Be willing for anything that you say in front of your children to be repeated to the neighbors.
Take your kids traveling, skiing, ice skating, roller blading, jogging, square dancing, hiking, rock climbing, golfing, playing tennis, to musical theatre, to movies---anything that you can do WITH them. They may not pick up a tennis racquet and become the new Jimmy Conners, but they will have skills that they can use in social interaction throughout their lifetime.
Kids are open to learning. The more skills they can acquire when they are young, the more activities they can share in with others after they’ve left the nest.
Don't let others run their trips on your kids.
There are people out there who can’t live without being domineering, meddlesome, crotchety, or “Pollyanna”ish. Whatever attitudes or positions a teacher or neighbor is stuck in or with doesn’t need to be foisted off on your kids as the “one truth”
Admit it, when you are wrong.
Granting beingness does not mean allowing your kids to run roughshod over the universe.
Ballet, boxing, judo, karate, dance lessons pay off in many more ways than just the skill.
Expect the best they can do. Richly acknowledge goodwill, good deeds, generosity, kindness, ability.
What you reward, you get.
Be willing for them to push the envelope.
Never call anyone stupid.
Always work with them, never against them.
Have foreign exchange students come live with you. Send your child to live with some family in Timbuktu or France. Let international friendships develop.
Allow them to make mistakes.
Allow them to fail.
Allow them to succeed and win.
Accept what is.
Don't brag too much about them.
Don't run them down to others.
Help them to achieve their little dreams, as well as their big.
Help them to align their priorities.
Teach the boys to wipe the pee off the toilet, and to replace the seat.
There is nothing so gross as a grown man who leaves the toilet with pee on the floor or on the toilet with the seat up. It is an UNCONSCIOUS act. It was ingrained as a robotic action during childhood. Imagine a hypnotic command “Make a fool of yourself!” If you allow your little boy to repeat this procedure, you are creating an adult who will surely demonstrate an aptitude for uncouth behavior.
Be willing for your child to stand up to a person of authority (teacher, politician, etc.) and disagree with said person.
Give them as much attention that you can. They grow up all too soon.
Allow your child to hear and follow the beat of a different drummer.
John Lennon’s Aunt Jessie used tell him “You’ll never make a living with the guitar.”
Don't give your kids scary psychic pictures that they may end up dramatizing ie., "Be careful, you'll fall!"
My mother used to come outside when I was up a tree, and yell, “You’re going to fall and kill yourself.”
At which point, I would grab the trunk of the tree, and scream back, “You’re scaring me go away!” I would hold onto the tree until she went away, and then I’d resume my tree climbing.
To sum it all up: we wanted our kids to follow their personal dreams. We didn't want them in a box. My wife and I each did a semester or less of college. Within a month, we'll have two kids with masters degrees. All of the kids were raised on a trampoline that is now being used by the grandkids in our backyard. Most kids need a lot of physical activity. If all a kid gets is TV, gameboy, etc, they are missing out on a huge section of life. just like my dog, now, our kids went everywhere we went. We had a babysitter one night once, and that was it. We liked our kids when they were little, and we like them now that they are grown ups.
Though I did effectively, for a few years "parent" my God children.
Rog has said it well and I agree.
Wonderful post, Carmelo, just wonderful.
I’ve raised a few children and helping them “root well” is something that you just don’t phone in and leave up to Kentucky Fried Kids…as you obviously know. Reading your post brings to mind what I did well at and what I could have done better at. Fortunately, The Universe blessed me with children that could compensate for the inadequacies of their Father and they all have grown up to be very, very fine people and we enjoy each other immensely. Much credit is due their Mother. I was also blessed in that I didn’t have to raise a child like I was.
Your comments and post echo my opinion and regard for this thread. There’s not a damn thing wrong with this thread and a whole bunch of right things. I’m not just posting here because it’s “Apollo ’73.” My first few posts were on the “Power of Source” thread but, as I later discovered, it was pretty well dead when I posted there.
I decided to start posting on this thread because I liked what was going on here, I felt I may have something to contribute re: The Apollo, the thread was being read and I thought that the “regulars” here were folks that I would like to dialogue, chat and horse around with.
I told Terril awhile back on this thread that maybe some day I was gonna “let it all hang out”. I’m not ready to that, but I am ready to let a little “hang out”.
What I’m about to tell yall Carmelo already knows much of, and I wish to publicly and personally thank you, Carmelo, for being a real Mensch.
One year ago I could barely read or write. The reason is because 4.5 years ago I was blessed with a hemorrhagic lesion and mass that took out part of my right anterior temporal lobe. I walk with a cane, have chronic severe headaches, a number other "nuisances" and would wither away and probably die without daily hormone injections due to permenant damage to my pituitary gland. I "died" twice and when it was finally apparent, after the second time when I “came back”, that I was going to live yet again, I barely knew my name and had virtually no memory of my life and what I had studied, experienced and learned. I was, in many ways, a child.
I have fabulous Doctors…really first class people and professionals. They call me their "miracle patient" and say that my living and recovery to date is the greatest medical miracle they have ever seen. My primary care Doctor has become a friend and we have dinner and a glass or two of wine together once in a while.
The right brain is a parallel processor, analogous to RAM; the left brain is a serial processor, analogous to Hard Drive. With part of my RAM gone there are certain things that I cannot do, or can do substandard with great effort and difficulty. I was once very, very good with numbers, complex problem solving and organization analysis, and was the CEO of a high-tech international agribusiness company I co-founded. Now I can barely add, subtract multiply or divide, am highly frustrated by the slightest “everyday” problem of modern living and couldn’t take the stress of organizing a Little League Team. The parts of the right brain that “interface” with the left brain to make those functions possible are destroyed and aint comin’ back.
However, as is so wondrous about The Universe and the Metaphor of Life, and the Tao of the Chaos of Living (at least for me), is what I call “The Mirror Affect” (MAF).
Let me try and explain MAF.
I have great difficulty “processing” symbolic notation (the written words, math, etc.) and inorganic constructs…man-made things. Walking around in a store, supermarket or building is taxing and confusing to me. With inorganic constructs I get confused, overwhelmed and easily distracted. However, organic and “natural” constructs are fantastically fascinating and enjoyable to me, make “sense” and I effortlessly “see” details, patterns and complexities that others don’t see until I point them out. Reading and writing is very difficult for me but talking with someone is just fun, fun, fun. When I look at inorganic constructs it doesn’t make a much sense. When I look at organic and natural constructs I “see”, without “trying”, the “fractalness” of it all—or at least how “it” all appears to me.
This is all so hard for me to explain or find the words for.
Over the last 4.5 years my Doctors and various therapists have helped me in so, so many ways to “navigate” a course through unknown waters. There have been crashes against the rocks, weeks spent in torment and darkness, “magical” and “surreal” discoveries, and smooth sailing on calm seas with a fair winds and skies. Over this time there have been two intertwined reoccurring themes that have become, for me and my “Team”, the touchstones of our journey together.
The first theme is what my Neurologist refers to as “Neural Storms”. I call them “Defraging”. These are random periods lasting 24 to 48 hours wherein I am in a state of intense confusion and “psychic” overload. I sleep and rest a lot and spend hours looking at organics. My thought process is consumed with random, powerful “energies” that have no label or form.
The second theme occurs after the storm passes. For days, sometimes weeks, I recover and remember experiences, information, moments in time and space that, heretofore, were “forgotten” or inaccessible. This is truly the most magical of gifts for I am viewing all this “information” in a new unit of time…in “NOW” and not “THEN”; not in the “NOW” of the “THEN” and not the “THEN” of the “NOW”. Some of my Doctors and Therapists say that this is “Awakening” in and using, more and more, the left brain. Also, due to the RAM damage, it is very difficult for me to learn how to do something new. My “learning” is from remembering what I already “knew”, “organic instinct” and outside stimuli that triggers “knew” and “organic Instinct”.
I have a very, very dear friend of over 25 years that is a way, way out there and gifted Psychotherapist. I had never seen him “professionally” until my brain event. His “take” on the “themes” is that identities—false but “real” selves—in fact died or were “killed off” during the hemorrhagic events. The storms are vestiges or “artifacts” of the “identities” and lead to “uploads” and re-programming of past experiences and information. My friend read Dianetics and some of the books years ago…he has studied everyone from Korbyski to Gerbode. When I thank him for all his help he says, “I haven’t done a thing other than be with you and listen as you work it out.
The best way I can describe the 2 themes is like floating on a beautiful, tranquil sea—adrift but, somehow, on course. The sea gets choppy, a storm arises, there is thunder and lightening and larger and larger waves come, and then the largest of them all comes and I ride it to the top…up, up, up the front side of the wave…and then, over. Down I slide the back side of the wave…smoothly, thankfully…and settle in on a sea that is more beautiful, tranquil than the one before the storm. I have my good days and I have my bad days…like all of us…all of us drifting, on course, on this Sea of Life.
I really, really don’t want to “derail” this thread with what I have written. I’ve said why I came here. ESMB and, in particular, this thread is much of the symbolic notation I can deal with…that’s why I don’t want to do PM’s and Emails much…I’ve only got so many correspondence “coins” I can spend each day and week. I chose to spend many of them here, with yall, and to spend many of those documenting memories and thoughts re: the Apollo and El Ron that, not long ago, were “lost” to me.
My friend has read some of this thread and has encouraged me to continue to here with yall. He, and several of my children, are helping me write a book…don’t know if it will ever be published or worth publishing, but, that’s not the point...and I don't much care. It will take many, many months to complete as I am slow and cannot write much most days. Whatever it is I have to say, about whatever it is I want to say about whatever it is I’m trying to say I’ll say there.
All of you here on ESMB, and this thread in particular, have become a “community” for me…a community that has, and is, helping me drift my course and, for that, I thank you. Hopefully my posts will be helpful to others that may pass this way…as your posts—all your posts—have been to me.
And, especially, thank you Emma, Lakey and Carmelo.
Face
