Lakey, I understand where you are coming from on this...I myself tend to lean towards the naive and too trusting side of things. I'm usually hugely optimistic and cheerful too, which REALLY ticks some people off!
I've been thinking about your question...to me, it seems better always for two friends to try and work things out when they disagree.
But I have learned that things are not always what they seem...sometimes I have thought someone was my friend, or liked me, when then didn't really, or only very superficially, and I soon ran out my welcome with them. That usually comes as a bit of a shock to me, when we seemed to be getting along so well.
People don't always say what they mean...sometimes a feeling of needing distance or resentment or antagonism percolates in one party to a friendship or even an acquaintanceship over time, and then burbles out to the surface at an unexpected moment.
My friends mean a lot to me, too...and I try to be diplomatic with them, and not burn my bridges unless a relationship has become really hostile or toxic in some way. I'm pretty tolerant...some would say, too tolerant!
Some people are not good about seeing their own feelings clearly, or understanding how to talk over their frustrations and come to some agreement to disagree on attitudes, habits or views. You have an advantage in that you are highly intelligent, and willing to step back and examine almost every thought and feeling or attitude you hold at any given point in time. I really admire your ability to get some distance and see yourself more objectively...I have tried to do that more as I have gotten older.
I still have a knee-jerk reaction to feel anger and self-justification when someone I care about "disses" me, or dismisses me. What helps me is to try and practice empathy and think of what might be going on from their point of view, while containing and processing my own anger or hurt feelings (hopefully in a productive way, or at least a non-harmful way!

). But I also have gotten fairly good at "getting myself out of the way", in Aikido terminology, and just letting someone be themself and go their own way, without unduly trying to save the friendship or pleasant acquaintanceship (even when I think they are making a mistake).
It's fairly easy to upset and offend people, often without really meaning to! I think studying non-violent communication helped me along those lines, but I am still far from perfect at it.
And then...some people just like to argue! Seem to get a charge out of causing friction, and then "making up", or making the other person "wrong". A whole lot of people in this world seem to be addicted to feeling that "they are RIGHT!" You can't do this unless you make the other party "wrong", usually.
I don't know if any of this helps you, but I do understand the feeling you have described. Sometimes there is no good explanation, and you just have to let things go and move on.
It helps if you have the emotional intelligence skills to be your own best friend, no matter what happens to you in life!

I'm still working on it...